₦airaland Forum

What I want guys to understand is that sex diminishes in long term relationships, most especially marriage.

Having said that, you are no obligation to continue any relationship as long as your needs are being ignored. You should have a minimum set of requirements for any relationship of yours to exist and/or continue, and as soon as you see that those requirement aren’t being met, you should have no problems/guilt moving on mercilessly.

Mr. Funkmrflexxx, let me tell you, your girlfriend is not fûcking you because she does not want to fûck you. This means that she’s getting it elsewhere. And you know what else, she’s either in love with the other side or seriously she’s notionally invested in him and their relationship.

Bin that broad now. Ask her to leave your house. Tell her your mum wants to come visit or something she cannot argue with. Once gone, she must never come back into your house, ever again.

If I tell you the disgusting places I’ve fûcked people’s wives and girlfriends, you will understand what I’m saying.

Drop that broad now and get a babe willing to fûck the shît outta your brains.

baralatie:
there was a married who was suspicious of his wife.at every even the wife has sexually affairs with men living in the neighborhood. this is in addition to the fact that the man or husband in question is also sleeping with another mans wife in the same neighborhood.
on this particular night the op and a group of men were on security guard duty when the man/husband suddenly got up from the woman he was y.a.n.shing and went straight home and saw his wife with a fellow male tenant having a doggy on a pit latrine.
the man/husband who was now tipsy/drunk wants to break the tenants head with a heavy iron mallet but was restrained by fellow men and on intervention by landlords association in their area evicted the tenant from the house.the husband reported the wife to her parents and she also has left the house.
all happened during this covid 19 lockdown or locked in

The husband in question wasn’t yanshing anybody. He was part of the vigilante people and he just suddenly left the vigilante group. As he left the vigilante group, he kept blowing the whistle down the street towards his home.

Upon getting to his own building he didn’t blow the whistle. He obviously had a mission which was to catch his wife and her neighbor lover in the act.

I think someone , probably another neighbor, may have tipped him that the lovers were about to get down, and he didn’t really catch them red-handed, which is why the Igbo man wanted to hit him with the iron rod in a bid to express his anger at being falsely accused. He asked the wife to swear she wasn’t getting fûcked and she confessed to receiving just one round.

baralatie:
shocking!
people are busy protecting life on the street another is destroying a home

Not just destroying any home, the home of one of the people protecting his life.

sheggsliveth:
I guess he has been suspenting their movements.


I just use style leave them am on bed right now, if one million boys come am safe all my doors na iron

Stay safe bro

Ingriid:
Mr, can u exclude d list of women who exchange their body for money? Cos this is where u are driving at now. I’m talking about men and women who are committed and ready to settle. If u go tru my second response to u, I already said there are women who can sleep with anything, meaning in exchange for money.
This is my scenario: if u approach me today, and we meet d following day and u notice I’m not what u want in a woman, kindly let me go instead of just leading me on so u can taste ,If U do this, my body count will reduce. Trust me, u men are d reason a lot of women have body counts. To end all these, we should just go back to d old ways, no marriage, no cookies !

Since you were small they have been telling you to keep your body till after wedding, but you said their mouth stinks. The same way you cannot keep your body till marriage is the same way guys out to chop you and clean mouth will still do what they want even though they have no intentions of a serious relationship.

You can’t regulate people’s behavior but you can regulate yours

sheggsliveth:
Yes ooo,just came back from vigilante now

I’m still out on vigilante. We leave from 4am and I’m sleepy as hell.

But how come the husband caught, cos it seems like he’s been suspecting them

sheggsliveth:
No she's not, her Parents came to pick her up.

So, in short. Your neighborhood is missing two people

sheggsliveth:
Some igbo boys wanted to desend on him but people no let them even the other igbos said such thing can't happen in their own land...funniest part is that the husband said the igbo guy always say his wife is not clean and alwats get the husband drunk

Classic reverse psychology and misdirection. Smh. What has happened to the wife, is she still with the husband?

Allaboutkatiee:
The question should be Can a guy with a high body count be faithful?
It shouldn't always be about girls
Abi you want to tell us that your body count is not more than her own??lol.
Think about it anyway

Why do I have the feeling the sound of your laughter is wonderful?

So, you dey nack person wife, you still wan nack am iron again? Orisirisi. This is the second time I’m hearing wife bangers are evicted from their houses for caning neighbor’s wives.

ZIMDRILL:
thats the typical mind set of african man who doesnt want to pass his wealth to his kids

Lol. What is this?

Lionessza6:
We are talking about a legally binding contract here. It doesn't really matter what you or she wants or regrets from it, the law will take its course incase of a divorce .

What if the course of the law is considered unjust?

ZIMDRILL:
its so funny how people are self centred, its ok for wife to walk away with nothing after divorce or death

would you love your sister to be treat the same way ? kicked back to your parents house, if they have any with nothing after the death of her husband or divorce. Lets say the marriage was 15 years for real 15 years she goes back with nothing

The men who are in support against registered marriage give silly excuse to say a civil registered marriage is signing your death warrant, if you dont trust her why are you marrying her, if a person is evil a tradional marriage wont stop her from killing you

Unless the wife was compelled to stop working by the husband, I see no reason why she should be entitled to a farthing post divorce.

Why do you think a man worried his wife may bail on him and still leave with his valuables is a silly excuse for not wanting a statutory wedding? Aren’t there women who marry with the sole intent of taking advantage of the man’s resources? Can you tell which woman is which?

eyinjuege:
But the law doesn't see gender.
Tradition does.
The same protection offered a woman with a court marriage is the same offered a man.
Many of our men are still governed by tradition, hence the aversion for court marriage seen.

When a woman is from a wealthy home, the men don't need to be convinced of a court marriage, they pursue it.

1.Getting a divorce is much easier with a traditional marriage where the bride price is easily returned within a day e.g Tonto Dike and Churchill . So perhaps our men are thinking along that route in the foreseeable future?
2.With only a traditional marriage, a man is still allowed to several other wives , and a man who refuses court wedding to his partner has such intentions until proven otherwise.
3.My advice for such women is to ensure they reach their maximum potential even while married (all women actually). Do not give up your own career, goals , aspirations and dreams in order for your man to achieve his. Don't stay home under the guise of raising children and not developing yourself while he is out there building a future for himself where he doesn't see you or perhaps sees several other women by his side in that future.
Make sure he does his own equal contribution in the home front with your children, and that he also supports you in achieving your goals as you support him in achieving his.

I don’t about the law not seeing gender, that may be on paper as women are reported to serve less time for the same crime as men. A lot of judgements are at the judge’s discretion.

Also, because gender, legal protections are not necessarily the same as both genders have different motivations and ‘values’.

As for men wanting to statutorily secure moneyed women, opportunists will always exist which is, perhaps, why men like OP are averse to statutory weddings. Many can not vouch for their spouses.

I totally agree with your last paragraph, though

bukatyne:
Reluctant prayer ke?

This is from the *borrom of ma hart*.

Lol. Adura a gba

bukatyne:
E Pele o!

I pray God gives/ leads you to yours.

*If you deserve it*.

If I deserve it bawo. I absolutely do.

Thanks for the reluctant prayer though.

bukatyne:
That ship has sailed

Omo, you have to do all the calculations and other innuendos.

I don't envy you.

I’ve done calculations that’s why I’m still single. I really don’t want to get married but I want kids so I’m willing to consider getting married if I find someone I think ticks the right boxes. I’m also willing to go the surrogate route if I don’t find that person after a stipulated time

bukatyne:
Gbam!

100%

I am grateful to God daily. I don't think I can cope with the amount of calculations, manipulations, strategy on how not to get cheated etc. one has to put up with when older people come together.

Congrats on your marriage. But what would you advise for us old men looking to marry but don’t even have anyone yet?

bukatyne:
That's why I am wondering what courts?

@bold:

I totally totall agree with you. Honestly, I can't deal with this up in arms approach people bring to marriages these days.

Then you wonder why they marry at all.

Is it as students dragging ourselves about that we would think of prenup (is it our certificates we were insuring)?

Or is it youngsters working their first job and married into a two bedroom flat with one Nigerian used car or none at all that would be thinking of prenup or when someone dies?

Is it the landlord's house they are protecting?

I have always been a fam of young marriages. It eliminates a lot of stuff.

I also think young marriages are best. The innocence and purity with which a young marriage is approached tends to make it easier to weather many storms that mature, but over-calculative partners may not be able to recover from.

Of course, marrying late may have its advantages, but I think there’s a certain bond that growing together creates that can’t be replicated when already grown partners come together.

Lionessza6:
The bolded is your answer. That is why I even said,this must be documented so that incase of a divorce or death no one will be shortchanged.

I don’t know if women would be willing to part with assets/resources if they had more where there’s a divorce. I certainly wouldn’t feel entitled to or even want any of it.

bukatyne:
I agree that many have been severely burnt however, I think this level of 'mistrust' when nothing has occurred is to great a burden for a marriage.

This is why I am a fan of people marrying the right person.

Do statutory marriages really 'safeguard' the Nigerian bride today?

What if the husband decided to maintain a parallel family without marriage and does stuff in their names?

Ehat if he has 50 acres of land in his village only his mother knows about?

What if he used his brother as next of kin and executor of his estate?

I am not saying going to the court is not necessary: I asked the OP his reluctance to do so. I am only saying any woman in Nigeria today who thinks the statutory 'rights' she gets over-rides due diligence is in for a looooong thing.

Igando courts are still offering child support of N5,000.00.

And believe me many are not even paying that 5k either out of malice, negligence or simply inability. True, also, due diligence is most important.

Truth is most people are simply selfish, hence, the many marital problems that pop up. Per OP’s reluctance to marry in the courts, perhaps he’s had past bad experiences personally or by proxy.

I think past a certain age or certain milestones in life, getting a partner who truly loves or you believe you becomes more difficult.

cococandy:
well I think that’s wrong. That’s my own opinion. I can’t speak for the others.


women primarily care for the kids. Makes sense that way. Few men do get child support in my neck of the woods. When they are the primary care givers. Which isn’t often.

hmm

I do agree shaming is wrong especially with all the struggle for equality and all .

True, women mostly get custody, but a man who gets custody still asking for child support from his ex is practically unheard and would be laughed to scorn. In fact, if he has to ask for child support he would very likely not get custody.

Not saying one or the other is right, though, only saying it is what it is.

cococandy:
known by who? Women also get alimony shamed but either way it’s wrong simple and short. You know that and I know that . Never mind your statistics.

Heck even women get shamed for child support. A Child that was made by both of them. Yet women are shamed for wanting support to raise the kids.
as usually is while married. Few cases may be exempt

There was a comment on this forum years ago about lawyers making jest of a man who fought for alimony. Lawyers in that case o. A few weeks ago Adele’s ex came under fire. Mary J Blige’s husband was vilified. The list is endless. Such men are regarded as less than men. At worst, women are regarded as not deserving alimony. Nobody shames women. Even when McKenzie Bezos divorces her husband, the only complaint was that she didn’t deserve to receive as much as she got not that she wasn’t deserving of some change. The story is completely different for men. Not that men aren’t barred from receiving alimony, though.

How many men get child support? I haven’t seen women shamed for child support except in instances where they do not want to share custody

cococandy:
That’s the part they are apprehensive about. The possibility that what’s acquired during the marriage might be called a jointly owned asset.

The will to ignore whatever she contributed to the family as inconsequential is strong.

Yet richer women are notorious for alimony-shaming men who feel deserving of alimony upon divorce.

IMO, everybody should get whatever they built themselves or a share of what was truly jointly built/acquired. After all, divorce rape is a thing

Lionessza6:
I dont get why you are so apprehensive abou this,who doesn't want a secured future?. You could have a marriage contract protecting what ever assets either of you own before the marriage, incase the marriage doesn't work out. But whatever is built during the marriage must belong to both of you. We still have cultures that manipulate and abuse widows& their children ,so it is always wise to make sure their are protected by the law incase of your untimely death.

When you say whatever was built in the marriage must belong to both partners, does that principle still stand if the woman turns out richer than her husband and then a divorce happens? Or is this just said in assumption that the husband will have the upper hand financially

bukatyne:
Maybe you guys should wonder why you are getting married first with so much innuendos and mistrust between you too. You think her reason is silly and do not think yours is silly

People have been severely burnt because they totally trusted the people they were married to. Having unflinching trust is no remedy for a duplicitous partner, hence the reluctance of many to go through with a statutory wedding.

We often here about how a statutory marriage safeguards the bride, now, men are trying to safeguard themselves. I think that’s totally fair.

Ingriid:
Mr, I’m not exonerating my gender in any of this; cos there are good number of women that spread their legs for anything.This is the summary of what I’m saying: If a man doesn’t see future with a lady, he should not bother tasting, that way we reduce d body counts but u men will never agree. You said a woman should keeping saying No, but ur gender will still mock a woman that keeps saying no by saying’ u will stay long in ur father’s house’ .Men should reduce d pressure of asking for sex sex sex, then d body count will reduce . Thanks

Are there no women in committed relationships, marriage and ltrs, that sleep around for money or because they see fine boy?

So because a person will be mocked they should do something wrong? So if armed robbers mock someone who doesn’t rob he should begin to rob? Smh

If it bothers you so much, tell him to get a side chick. Cest fini

MrBrownJay1:
dont care as i cant stress and/or focus on something negative i have no clue about... unless i have any clues that she is cheating on me, i have no reason to believe that my woman would be cheating.

You may have no clue, but wouldn’t you want to know they were trustworthy to a reasonable extent before committing to them?

I cant test people out of my own low self esteem/insecurity... thats childish and a sure way to destroy all the trust someone has for you.

Insecurities exist because there are factors that cause a lack of faith in the security system. Nigerians have burglar-proof grills because they have insecurities.

its called TRUST...

So, you just trust someone because they agreed to date/marry you?

if you cant trust anyone then you will never find anyone, and instead will only live or die with stress/worries... thats a waste of life..
here is a clue: if your babe cheats on you, then the problem is HER not you, so just dump her and find someone who appreciates/deserves to be with you.

How do you know someone who deserves to be with you when you really don’t know what they’re doing if you aren’t there?

ikh777:
BEFORE YOU RUIN YOUR BEST RELATIONSHIPS ON SUSPICION... simply ask and if they lie, just know the truth will come out... IN THIS LIFE, IF YOU LOOK FOR ANYTHING WRONG IN A PERSON YOU WILL ALWAYS FIND IT... meanwhile even you are not a saint.

What is the benefit to me if I find out after 22 years I’ve been raising someone else’s child?

And when you say you’ll always find something wrong, do you mean everybody is unfaithful in their relationships?