ademasta:



The answer is "Poverty"
That's what he has that the rich does not have.

Congrats

We no knwww
Tell us d ansa ee

Presh9OO:
AFONJAS

Wetin b Afonjas brotha

A man has been caught having sex with a shop mannequin in broad daylight.

Onlookers were left stunned when the drunk man stripped off the doll and proceeded to have his way with it at a flea market in the city of Bulawayo, western Zimbabwe.

It is understood that the man had been drinking at a nearby hotel when he left to walk through the market.

But it was when he saw the mannequin that things took a turn for the strange, with the man stripping the doll and himself before starting to make love to it.

The man’s bare bottom was left waving in the air as he made loud groaning noises – refusing to be embarrassed despite the shocked crowds gathering around.

Many people stopped to laugh and take pictures of the amorous display. Mbuso Moyo, one of the traders at the Egodini market, said the man was making loud groaning noises during the act.

She said: “What amused us is that he was making movements as if he was having sex with a woman.

After reaching orgasm he stood up and threatened all the people who had gathered to watch him. The crowd dispersed when he started shouting but some women made comments about the size of his manhood.

Some were joking, saying he has a pipe and such a person is dangerous in bed for women.”Another onlooker, named Ruth Chidzonga, said the size of his manhood became the talking point for quite a while, adding:

“One of the women around here is a sex worker and was commenting on the size based on her experience in the bedroom. She said if he asks for sex with me I give it.”


http://gistreel.com/2017/01/03/man-caught-making-love-mannequin-broad-daylight/

If you have lived in Abuja for more than a year, you should understand the term “fake Abuja big girl” or FABB.

These are the girls who are usually very attractive, own all the Apple products in this world, live in N1million flats in Maitama, but if you check their background, their parents are struggling in their various villages.

Enough said, let me educate you


12. She Is A Tease

Go on her instagram page number one her name is either Janethebosschick or firstadyzainab or priciliathegoddess or one kind of funny looking name like that, then she is always posting suggestive photos teasing all these Hot small boys on the gram who are always commenting telling her how beautiful she is.

Its either she is stylishly showing of bum bum or it will be her bobby.

11. Balling for the Gram

When going through her instagram Photos you will notice she is either in one five star hotel or another, then she is eating lunch at a very expensive chinese restaurant, she is always on a plane, having unnecessary vacations in Dubai, My sister are you a travel Blogger?

10. Bleached skin and tattoos

These days, most girls think they have to be “white-skinned” to be beautiful. They go as far as taking injections to perfect their skin.

They then get tattoos to complete the look. These girls have to sell their market. 4

When you check their background, their families are as dark-skinned as they come but these girls look more like Black or White era Michael Jackson.

9. Drive around town in flashy rides

In attempt to look like the cream dela cream of Abuja, these babes drive around in the flashiest cars.

Don’t be deceived the ride is either for their father or family member or worse, the company’s ride.

Once you notice she changes cars like he changes clothes without any serious job just ditch her fast.

8. Fake Accent

This is another common trait. FABBs roll their tongues like their lives depend on it. Every vowel, irrespective of the word, is followed by an ‘R’: Jos become Jors; Taxi, Tarxi; Abuja, Abujarrr.

7. Long 'Human' Hair

If they do not have the Brazilian hair that reaches their butt, they haven’t arrived. Picture the combo: bleached skin, fake accent and long Brazilian hair.

Most of these girls don’t even have up to N10, 000 in their bank accounts but they have to impress. All na packaging!

6. Own the latest android phones

This draws me back to a Nigerian movie I watched weeks ago. Funke Akindele’s character sold her bed just so she could buy an Android phone.

She preferred to sleep on a bare mattress on the floor than use her regular Nokia phone just so she could impress the guys and catch “proper fish.”

This is exactly what FABBS do.

They would own the iPhone 5s, S4, iPad. Before the iPhone6 is out, they already have it yet they don’t have regular jobs. So where do they get all that money from?

5. Don’t invite you to their houses

FABBs never want you to know where they live; it would ruin the illusion of their prosperous lives.

Picture this, as a guy, you meet this pretty light skinned lady, who owns all the nicest phone and tablets, maybe drives a car if the hustle is tight; long Brazilian hair and a little cash in their bank account.

As a guy, you believe you are toasting or dating a girl who has money. So, why would she invite you to her “face me I face you” to spoil her packaging?

Everybody’s hustle is different but that of the Fake Abuja Big Girl is the realest; take note.

4. They don't have any job

These babes are usually jack of all trades. Today she is a make up artist, tomorrow she has goods that she is selling.

They are mostly called contractors. Always chasing contracts, trying to fit in a class they don’t belong.


3. They are related to politicians

Typical fake Abuja babes knows every politician there is to know. You hear them call Buhari their uncle and Kemi Adeosun their God-mother. Na wa oh!

2. They wear designs

They are the ones that dress top to bottom in designers. The saying that wealth is silent is no joke.

There is a huge difference between being sophisticated and dressing to impress. Be careful.

They can use all their money to buy Designer bags and will have only N500 in their account balance.

1. Only dates connected Guys & Men

If your father is not a top politician, Or you are not financially flamboyant don’t even bother. These fake babes will date normal guys but never settle down with them.

When its time to settle down, they hunt for politicians children or connected guys.

The fact is most of them are dreaming of marrying Buhari’s son right now.



cc:lalasticlala
http://gistreel.com/2016/12/31/guys-12-ways-spot-fake-naija-big-girl/7/

Laura Ikeji seems not to be about the worries of the “expensive Aso ebi”, which Anita Joseph complained about hours ago(https://www.nairaland.com/3546282/actress-anita-joseph-says-shes), but she’s rather more concerned about the help for women in marital crisis.

She took to her Instagram to advice women not to stay in abusive marriages because of what they think people will say.

She wrote:

“Pls my fellow ladies, marriage isn’t By force!!! We need to stop marrying because of the society. Don’t be in a domestic violent marriage, stop thinking the idiot would stop beating you, violent people don’t change, if he hit you once, he would do it again. You still don’t wanna leave because of what society might say? Leave!!!! You silly woman. Run for your life, for your children’s sake, for the future of your children. It’s worse when he beats you while you are pregnant. Gosh, God will punish any man that puts his hand on a pregnant woman. You shall be useless for life. RIP pretty lady. You should have left last year like you said you were. F₩#@k society. They know nothing. Marriage is not by force. Don’t marry him cos instagram is disturbing you on when to marry. Stupid unhappy people constantly reminding you of your biological clock. Rip angel.

Instagram pls stop begging women to go back to bad marriages. Women are dying everyday from domestic violence. Stop complaining about how much you bought asoebi and help these women get out of danger. RIP angel.”

cc:lalasticlala
http://gistreel.com/2016/12/30/stop-complaining-much-bought-aso-ebi-help-women-get-danger-laura-ikeji/

Nollywood actress Anita Joseph took to Instagram to inform her fans that she’s tired of buying Aso Ebi and next month the couple will divorce.

It seems she’s throwing jabs at someone. Anita wrote,

“Marriage is like a school you don’t graduate from
2 it’s a journey
3 You need to be mentally physically and spiritually Prepared
After d lavish party
Pre wedding pictures
The bridal shower
You say ur not doing again #huh#
Am tired of buying expensive Aso ebi and d nxt mint I hear Divorce
Una go refund me oh
It’s not funny"

cc:lalasticlala
http://gistreel.com/2016/12/30/actress-anita-joseph-says-shes-tired-buying-expensive-asoebi-heres/

Bird*

More*

Ladies of nowadays sha… hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Jade shared her worst s*x story on Twitter and says this is why ladies should stay away from short guys with small hands.

cc:lalasticlala
http://gistreel.com/2016/12/29/lady-recounts-worst-sx-shes-ever-short-man/

See tweets below.

2SWT:

madridguy:
The lady too set.

dey tell u

More.

Killing of goat is not a big deal but it is a big deal when it’s done by a beautiful brave lady..

This pretty young lady slaughtered the goat herself and many men are amazed after the photos hit the internet.

Ladies, how many of y’all can do this? Some ladies self cant even kill ant.. lol

cc:lalasticlala
http://gistreel.com/2016/12/29/pretty-nigerian-lady-goes-viral-after-she-killed-a-goat-for-christmas-photos/

Relationship consultant aka “LoveDoctor Joro Olumofin recommends 30 places Guys can meet “wife materials” Ladies in Nigeria.


Busa House ( Babcock University)

Kada Cinema ( Benin)

Moremi & Amina Hall ( Unilag)

Lagos Island market ( 11am – 3pm)

Coza church Lagos / Abuja ( Front & Middle Row)

Quilox “Regular section” (Not VIP)

@joroolumofin page comment section ( a lady with a sensible comment & decent DP)

Redeemption camp ( First Friday of the month)

Daystar ( 2nd / 3rd Service )

Glitz saloon ( Benin)

Ikeja Cinema ( Free Popcorn Tuesday)

Ventura Mall ( Ibadan)

X&B Saloon, opposite Unilag underground bakery

Jokers club ( Benin)

Mauva 21 lounge ( Ibadan)

Play (Abuja)

Beer barn ( Port harcourt)

BRT Bus Stop ( Maryland, Ikorodu , Ojota Axis)

Mr Biggs, KFC, The place ( Lunch hour)

Hilton Abuja ( Pool side )

House on Rock ( Mid week service & Choir)

Mondys (Ilorin)

MM2 (Weekdays)

Rhema Chapel (ibadan)

Shoprite Owerri ( weekends)

Charlie’s saloon ( Benin)

Law school ( Lagos )

Nysc Camp ( Ebonyi, Ekiti, Lagos)

GTB end of the year party ( Lagos)

Lekki / Ikoyi Bridge (4am)

Tejuosho Market ( Week days, 1-4pm)

This list is like a joke though… What do you think?


http://gistreel.com/2016/12/27/joro-olumofin-recommends-30-places-guys-can-meet-wife-materials-ladies-nigeria/

Veteran Nollywood actor, Jim Iyke who already has a son, wrote an open prayer to God on his Instagram page, asking Him to bless him with a daughter in the next year, 2017.

Read him below:


Dear LORD,
I decided to quickly submit this petition before the year runs out. I’ll keep it short and straight. The last time we had this convo, King Harv showed up. My life has never been the same since. It’s being an amazing cocktail of unprecedented blessings, self realization, bold endeavors and forging of powerful alliances.
I’m eternally grateful LORD.
Now to the matter at hand. My sister says I’m a career cynic. My Ghanaian ex says my head is too strong for love. My Nigerian and past exes says he’s amazing but GLADYS took the last iota of love he has for any woman with her. My longest friend ,UK, seems to agree and my longest biz partner has wisely said he’s unsure where to stand in the matter! Smdh!
I want a baby girl LORD. A daughter that will keep me on her permanent MUMU BUTTON. I’ve done this before when King came and turned even the hardest skeptics to awe struck as I took fatherhood to the letter as naturally as fish in water.
Pls give me a daughter this time Lord. You know I’m one that never never bring my private affairs to the public but I want this act of vulnerability to be my most ardent test of faith.
I’ll be the father fathers dream of. I’ll pour my body, soul and spirit into raising her. Besides, King needs a sister to protect and love.
Ok I can already feel you shaking your head in exasperation. But I also glean a little smile beginning. You know how your boy roll! Lol. I’ll keep my part of the bargain by doing that ‘THING’ I pledged wholeheartedly.
Ok let me get out of your space. I know you have more pressing requests to attend to. You’ve been too good to me this year to ask for anything else….. For now LOL!
Visit anyone in need at the point of their station IJN.
PS: ( ANGEL IN CHARGE) I moved my file from the middle to the top of the stack when the LORD asks for it. A little addendum if you pls; I want her to look like SHADE ADU in her teens with the brains of MICHELLE OBAMA. Right! I don’t like the look you’re giving me now. I guess I’m pushing my luck yeah?! OK done! I’m out! Happy Boxing Day Everyone! Enjoy!
RANDOM CONVERSATION BTW THE KING OF KINGS AND HIS KING ( SOLILOQUY)


cc:lalasticlala
http://gistreel.com/2016/12/27/i-want-a-baby-girl-lord-jim-iyke-writes-open-letter-to-god-asking-for-a-daughter/

See Video

https://mobile.twitter.com/SemilooreAkoni/status/812094306290831360?s=09

I did
My guy jus hang small bfor e Sitdun

Gionee M6+

Instagram fitness model named Uche is quickly becoming a household name – because of her AMAZING shape. She has 36 inch hips and a D cup breasts . . . but she only has a 20 inch waist.

Some are saying that she has the “perfect” body. And in case you’re wondering . . . NO Iche did not undergo any surgery.

cc:lalasticlala
http://mtonews.com/theyre-saying-social-media-nigerian-girl-perfect-body-20-inch-waist-plenty-curves/

See photos.

Religion is the opium of masses

Actress Anita Joseph thinks this man deserves more for sleeping with his lady’s mum..

No way! As painful as cheating is, no lady needs this. Any man who pushes you to lose it to an extent you are even considering inflicting bodily harm, please walk away and leave the sick guy.So many good men out there to spend the rest of your life in jail.
Besides, Karma is for real!
Checkout responses below

cc:lalasticlala
http://gistreel.com/2016/12/13/anita-josephs-airs-opinion-lady-injured-man-cheating-mom/

Basketmouth bumped into a woman who paid him N800 to perform at a show years back

Basketmouth captioned the above photo with, “So I bumped into Irene Nwoko, the lady that paid me N800 to perform at their engineering dinner back then in Uniben…..this was in 2000. Thank you for believing in my brand Irene.

cc:lalasticlala
http://gistreel.com/2016/12/12/basketmouth-bumps-woman-paid-n800-perform-years-back/

Na wa o.

grayht:
Jesus is coming...




Don't quote me ooo

.

It has been revealed that no fewer than 14,200 Benue youths are currently living with the dreaded HIV/AIDS in Benue State.

The revelation was made by the President of the Association of Young People Living with HIV/AIDS, APYIN, Fabian Tor.

Tor made this known at the 2016 World AIDS Day celebration in Makurdi with the theme, “Hands on for HIV Prevention.”

According to him, “The development is a serious issue but our members are committed to ensuring that the virus does not move from us to another, or from one person to the other.
“In fact, we are working hard to ensure that anti-retroviral drugs get to our members, that the virus is suppressed and that the infected live happily.”

In his speech, Country Director, United Nations Programme on HIV/AIDS, UNAIDS, Dr. Camara Bilali, said the world body identified Benue State as one of the states with high prevalence rate of the virus.

Represented by Mrs. Ashir Wende, Project Manager, World Bank Assisted HIV/AIDS Programme Development Project, Benue Office said:

The UNAIDS would continue to lead and inspire the world to achieve its shared vision of zero new HIV infections, zero discrimination and zero AIDS-related deaths.

“The UNAIDS is well positioned to provide necessary technical assistance to ensure that 90% of people living with HIV know their status, 90% of those diagnosed with HIV are accessing sustained anti-retroviral treatment, ART, and 90% of those on ART achieve durable viral suppression.”

Governor Samuel Ortom, who was represented by the Commissioner of Health and Human Services, Dr. Cecilia Ojabo, in his speech, assured that his administration would continue to partner relevant agencies to stem prevalence of the virus in the state.

Executive Secretary of Benue State Agency for the Control of AIDS, BENSACA, Dr. Dura Gideon, said all hands must be on deck to fight against the killer disease.


http://gistreel.com/2016/12/09/14200-youths-benue-state-currently-living-hivaids/

Lmao! Can you just imagine? A lonely Nigerian guy, goes on to Twitter to tweet that he needs a girl in his life, expecting to find someone… well he did find someone and guess who? Barbie Doll Lomo!! Osheeyyyy Baddest! LMAO!
The transvestite quoted the lonely guy’s tweet with a purple hearts emoji…


cc:lalasticlala
http://gistreel.com/2016/12/06/lonely-nigerian-guy-tweets-needs-girlfriend-bobrisky/

Follow the thread below:

A Malaysian lady, known simply as Yasmeen became a trend topic few days back after she shared photos of her cat who loves the Quran. According to her, each time her dad recites versus of the Quran, the cat goes by his side to listen.


cc:lalasticlala
http://gistreel.com/2016/12/06/see-photos-that-have-gone-viral-of-the-religious-cat-that-loves-prayer/

photos below:

A Nigerian girl identified as Okonikhere Joy -reportedly died on Saturday night during a quarrel with her boyfriend.

According to Facebook user; May Ebute who shared the sad news -neighbours woke up to find the lady’s dead body and her boyfriend missing.

He was apprehended yesterday and he said, during the scuffle, he just put his hands around her neck to scare her and she stopped breathing.

Read below how it was shared by the Facebook user;


So Okonikhere joy died last night during a scuffle with her boyfriend. Neighbours woke up to find her dead body and her boyfriend missing. He was apprehended earlier today and he said, during the scuffle, he just put his hands around her neck to scare her and she stopped breathing. He said he didn’t mean to kill her. How can just putting your hands around someone’s neck kill them if not that the person was strangled?

Well she’s dead now and no amount of ‘ l didn’t mean to kill her’ will bring her back.

I just spoke with her brother and he confirmed the news.The murderer is presently cooling off in a police cell. I wish l could find the words to express the anger l’m feeling right now. May the soul of this lady rest in peace.

May her soul RIP.

cc:lalasticlala
http://gistreel.com/2016/12/05/nigerian-girl-dies-scuffle-boyfriend/