Please is anyone going from PH

STPEACE:
So pathetic, terrorist why?


This old joke really made my day.

A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex
with you, but I will make it very fast. I'll throw
$1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend
down to pick it up, I'll be done." She thought for
a moment then called her boyfriend and told him
the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him
for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he
won't even have enough time to UnCloth himself."
She agrees. After half an hour passes, the
boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what
happened?" She responds, "The bastard used
coins, so I'm still picking it up and he is still
having sex with me!"

STPEACE:
So pathetic, terrorist why?


This old joke really made my day.

A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex
with you, but I will make it very fast. I'll throw
$1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend
down to pick it up, I'll be done." She thought for
a moment then called her boyfriend and told him
the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him
for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he
won't even have enough time to UnCloth himself."
She agrees. After half an hour passes, the
boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what
happened?" She responds, "The bastard used
coins, so I'm still picking it up and he is still
having sex with me!"

xpac01:
Dry.! Not making sense.

xpac01:
Dry.! Not making sense.

see this hilarious sign post.

for sell

5 REASONS WHY YOU DON'T NEED TO DIE FOR
ANY POLITICIAN BEFORE, DURING AND AFTER
ELECTIONS :
1. In 2011, Governor Shekarau of Kano State
contested for the Presidency on the platform
of ANPP against President Jonathan of PDP.
So did Nuhu Ribadu of ACN. Today, Gov.
Shekarau is a Minister in President
Jonathan's cabinet & a member of the
President's party & Mallam Nuhu Ribadu is
the PDP's candidate for governorship of
Adamawa State. How many were killed
because of them in 2011?
2. President Obasanjo and Asiwaju Bola
Ahmed Tinubu were thought to be sworn
enemies. When President Obasanjo took
over SW Nigeria in 2003, Gov. Tinubu
became "last man standing" against him in
ACN/Lagos. Today, Obasanjo is Tinubu's
"Navigator" & Tinubu is treasured guest at
Obasanjo's birthday. How many died
believing they were enemies?
3. Fmr Govs, Engr. Segun Oni and Dr. Kayode
Fayemi of Ekiti used to be political foes and
now they belong to the same party. Both are
alive as friends & some folks had died
fighting for them.
4. Fmr. Governor, Olagunsoye Oyinlola never
saw eye to eye with Governor Aregbesola.
Now, they belong to the same party, some
people died for both, but were they not
always friends?
5. President Obasanjo was prepared to
throw VP Atiku Abubakar out of Aso Rock.
Who would have thought that Atiku would
visit Obasanjo in Otta farm after all the
brouhaha; politicians belong to one big
family. They have their interest at stake, do
not die for them especially when you have
nothing at stake. Even if you have something
at stake,be vigilant to Vote, that is your
obligation. You do not owe
anyone a duty to die. Value your life, if you
're alive you can be better than them.
Say no to violence, say no to blood letting.
Make a choice with your PVC & let Nigeria be
the winner! #VoteDontFight

10 reasons not to give up By lilo2hot
1. As long as you are alive, everything is
possible.
The only valid excuse you have to give is that
if you are dead. As long as you are alive (and
healthy and free) you have the choice to
keep trying until you finally succeed.
2. Be realistic.
The chance to master something the first
time you make is almost nonexistent.
Everything takes time to learn, you will make
mistakes and you learn from them.
3. Be strong as an oak.
Believe me, you're stronger than you think.
1, 2 or even 3 small failures are not enough
to stop you from achieving your goals. Your
goals are much larger than any doubts.
Imagine the oak tree. Has it continued to
grow each time it faced strong winds? No.
So, why should you stop? You are alive, is it
not? So you have no reason to give up.
Success will never be a big step in the
future, success is a small step taken just
now.
4. Prove yourself.
You do not want to be known as someone
who is weak and gives up. Go ahead and
prove yourself to the world and oneself. You
can and will achieve what you set out to do.
The only time you fail is when you give up.
5. Believe in your dreams.
In life, there will be many people who will try
to bring you down and tell you what you
want to achieve is not possible.
6. Your family and friends.
Let the people you love and say that you are
weird, inspire you, persist and persevere.
Maybe you need to try a different angle,
study more or practice more but do not give
up!
7. There are people worse off.
At the moment, there are many people who
are in a worse situation in the environment
you are. Are you planning to give up
running 5 miles a week? Think about the
people who are unable to walk again and
how much they would give to be able to run
5 miles every day.
8. You deserve to be happy.
Never let anyone tell you otherwise. You
deserve to be happy and you deserve to be
successful. Keep that mindset and never give
up until you reach your destination!
9. Inspire others.
Be an inspiration to others by refusing to
give up. Who knows what someone else can
achieve because you never gave up and in
turn inspired them not to give up.
10. You are so close.
Often when you feel like you want to give up
you are so close to making a huge
breakthrough. You're just a heart beat away
from success.

just in case this made front page
















this land is not for sale 419 back off

which suppose

please lets be sincere, which suppose to come first in a relationship? 1,2,3,4,5?

justi4jesu:


Only 1 shop got burnt. Cos they built the shops with bullet proof this time around , so the whole market will not get burnt.

ya! You are right, the market is built that way. Its impossible for the market to burn so easily...unless they blow it up

Monopause at a very young age

Ezedon:
.. we re Africans and Africans we will always be, no doubt about that. na like this we go de de unless cars begins to have WHITE TYRES

hehehehe

CONGO vs NIGERIA _ At this point, it is either the Super eagles Win or they Win! No two ways abt it. We don tire to use scientific calculator to calculate points and goals.

georjay:
THIS I AM SURE OF


LAW - UNILAG

PHYSICS - UNILAG

PHARMACY - UNILAG

ARCHITECTURE - UNILAG

PETROLEUM ENGINEERING - UNILAG

LAW - RSUST
MECHANICAL ENGINEERING - RSUST
PETROLEUM ENGINEERING - RSUST
MANAGEMENT - RSUST
But i guess the OP list is for federal universities only

lilo2hot:
supporter of APC

supporter of APC

10.France
Life Expectancy: 81.56 (2013 EST.)
Why it’s Healthy: France’s diet has long been tauted as a model for health.  Although it is indulgent, the French are notorious for small portions and well-balanced meals.  In addition, they drink a moderate amount of red wine, which is heart healthy.  Like other countries in Europe, the French walk a lot, so as a whole, they lead less sedentary lives.
9. Italy
Life Expectancy:  81.95 (2013 EST.)Why it’s Healthy: Italian eat a Mediterranean diet that is rich in Olive Oil (Omega 3s) and fish. The Italians are active like most European countries and also drink moderate amounts of red wine, which research has shown is good for the heart (one glass a day).
8. Australia
Life Expectancy:  81.98 (2013 EST.)Why it’s Healthy: Because Australia is in the middle of the ocean, importing foods can get expensive. This is why Australians use a lot of natural foods found within their country. In addition, Australians put a lot of emphasis on sports as part of their culture. Most Australians surf, swim, play rugby, hike, or bike.
7. Switzerland
Life Expectancy:  82.28 (2013 EST.)Why it’s Healthy: The Swiss are in such great shape because they climb mountains just to get in their front door! Not only do they enjoy winter sports in the winter, but the mountains serve equally as a playground for the Swiss in the summer, for hiking and mountaineering. Unlike American ski areas that turn into ghost towns when the spring snow retreats, the Swiss take full advantage of their mountains every month of the year.
6. Andorra
Life Expectancy:  82.58 (2013 EST.)Why it’s Healthy: Nestled in the mountain in between France and Spain, Andorra has the best of both countries, from the mediterranean diet, to the physical activities associated with being the mountains- skiing in the winter and hiking in the summer.
5. Greece
Life Expectancy:  82.98 (2013 EST.)Why it’s Healthy: The Greek live on a balanced Mediterranean diet of olive oil and fish.  In addition, they are active on the water and on the varied terrain of the country.  Remember that the Olympics started in Greece, so being active is part of their ancient culture.
4. Spain
Life Expectancy:  83.12 (2013 EST.)Why it’s Healthy: The Spanish food stable is small portions of a varieties of foods called Tapas- which means that portion control is a way of life.  In addition to this, they partake in a daily ritual of “siesta”, a two hour nap mid-day which not only lowers stress levels but also ensure that they are getting enough rest.
3. Singapore
Life Expectancy:  84.07 (2013 EST.)Why it’s Healthy:Singapore has a fine system of keeping the environment healthy and clean. By imposting rules and regulations, the hygiene of Singaporeans is the best in the world. Secondly,most Singaporeans know that good health means wealth. They comply to rules, keep the place as clean as possible. The government is known to promoting clean and healthy environment by education, volunteering, and rules.
2. Japan
Life Expectancy:  84.19 (2013 EST.)Why it’s Healthy: Put simply, the Japanese eat very well- they eat fish versus red meat, eat less dairy, butter, and milk, eat seaweed that is high in iodine, drink a lot of green tea, eat plenty of vegetables, and consume small portions.
1. Monaco
Life Expectancy:  89.63 (2013 EST.)Why it’s Healthy: Because most of the population of Monaco is very wealthy, they  typically have their own chef to plan healthy meals for them. On top of this because most are retired they have reduced levels of stress.

Keenysbojan:
I can some traces of dullness..(no offence please)

I guess u went to cambridge university

TeeKayy:
To all those people in this world who target specific race/religion/gender in the world to spread more hate. Please for the love of God. Stop discriminating everything. This goes for every hater in the world against religion, gender, race or beliefs. You guys have to stop this. I see whenever a Muslim person posts anything, people are too quick to throw words like suicide bombers or jihadi or even the freaking sand and camels. Please stop this, this only shows this world's need for violence to make everyone's lives miserable. Whenever a Christian post something, he's attacked or mocked by atheists or other groups.

All I see in this time and age is the need to criticize other person's beliefs and mentality. First of all, NOT EVERY MUSLIM IS A FREAKING TERRORIST. Just because the western world have an image of the bombed Afghanistan and Iraq (Courtesy of U.S.A) showed no developments or freedom rights does not mean other countries don't have them. U.A.E is developed, Turkey is developed, Egypt is developed. You question the right of a women's clothing of choice in Muslim countries? Forced to wear Hijab you say? Google Pakistan's fashion week. It sure as hell didn't happen under any Sharia law because Sharia law doesn't exist in many Muslim countries. They had their first Women Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto in 1988 whereas compared to the USA (which is suppose to be leading in democracy and freedom and women rights) didn't had one yet. I think that proves how much Sexism actually exists in Western World. Bangladesh and Turkey had Women Prime Ministers and those are Muslim countries. Many Europe countries had women Prime Ministers. We're waiting for you, USA. Rid this world from women hate once and for all. OSAMA BIN LADEN DOESN'T REPRESENT ISLAM.

Christians are provoked mostly by atheists. Why can't anybody leave people alone with their own faith and beliefs? If a Christian provokes someone, that's religion hate and when they are provoked and respond back, Well, guess what? Religion hate again? If I have a different religion than someone else that does not mean I should mock them or be entitled to a superior status just cause I think i'm better than him.
Almost every religion is targeted by either any other religious group or a person or a atheist. Who died and made you judge?

As for Islam vs Christianity. I can name many examples of genocides committed in the name of God by someone who is either dead or drinking rum at a beach, leaving us mortal slaves in a pissing contest. That how it works. Killing someone in the name of God is by far the biggest disrespect towards God, in my opinion. You think just cause some guy in a cave blows up a car or a house shows his loyalty to God? That's your perspective and your image of others which is far from reality. Killing someone in the name of religion does not show or prove that Islam or Christianity is a violent religion. It shows the culprit's lack of education, lack of good parenting and lack of a sound mentality. People always need an excuse to kill. The same guys saying religion is an ill to society? How about you tell me why their are so many violent gun deaths in your respected countries? Why so many robberies? Certainly your govt. won't allow any extremist to just walk with firearms in open public, right? Or people are just afraid walking alone at night thinking some jihadi is going to blow them 6000 miles away? Get it into your heads.

There are so many religious people in the world. Do you think they give a damn about Osama or Saddam or Dick Cheney? People are most worried about their lives, their children's safety, their families and their livelihoods. You want to fix the world? Try to look past on removing religion and promote Education. Education will save humanity. Awareness of the common good will fix this world.

Guy! Your story long oo.

snowprince07: Brb llemme ask my mom what I feared as a kid

Me too

Dbestmax:
Wen did u join Nairaland bros....#NoVex

tiyepaka?!! Wetin kum be your problem

first to comment

1st to comment....yipee!!!

African Proverbs;
1. When a man is stung by a bee, he does not destroy all beehives (Kenya)
2. The man who marries a beautiful woman, and the farmer who grows corn by the roadside have the same problem (Ethiopia)
3. A short man is not a boy (Nigeria)
4. No matter how hot your anger is, it cannot cook yams (Nigeria)
5. It requires a lot of carefullness to kill the fly that perches on the scrotum (Ghana)
6. If the throat can grant passage to a knife, the anus should wonder how to expel it (Seychelles)
7. The frown on the face of the goat will not stop it from being taken to the market (Nigeria)
8. An old lady feels uneasy when dry bones are mentioned in a proverb (Ghana)
9. The same sun that melts the wax, hardens the clay (Niger)
10. If you don’t know where you are going, any road will take you there (Uganda)
11. There is no virgin in a maternity ward (Cameroon)
12. A child can play with its mother’s breasts, but not its father’s testicles (Guinea)
13. He who goes to sleep with an itching anus wakes up with smelly fingers (Nigeria)
14) A quarrelsome woman is like a house that leaks (S.Sudan)
15. The anger of a penis does not destroy the vagina (Zimbabwe)
16. Don't insult a Crocodile while your buttocks are still in the water (Zambia)
Which one is your favourite?

delishpot:

Ph pikin?

confirm 1

5 naira - pink boy
10 naira - red boy
20 naira - green boy
50 naira - white
100 naira - 2 white
500 naira - 5 zeroes
1000 naira - 1 kpale

Allohrandy: This sounds like Warri/Benin pidgin English

dis ajebutter don enta one chance ooo, him no knw wetin dem write

My grand mum tired electric fish around my cousin's waist before going to bed , so anytime he weewee!! He gets the shock

tuagbo: Jesus Christ is a myth homeboy.He never existed.

watch your tongue boy