₦airaland Forum

Nollywood actress, Nkechi Emmanuel a.k.a Nurse Titi, who came to limelight following the role she played in popular sitcom ‘Clinic Matters’, in a new interview recounted how the journey into marriage has been so far, just after tying the nuptial knot with her husband, Ambrose Amara in December 2017.

In her interview with Goldenpearlmedia, Nkechi Emmanuel said;

‘Marriage feels so good. In fact, I regret why I didn’t go into it early enough. It’s so sweet. I will advice all single ladies and guys out there to try find the right person as a life partner. There is nothing like having the right person who your heart beats for, all the time. Hugs in the morning and night, then sharing ideas and everything together.

Honestly, I still regret why I got married late. I should have done this a long time ago’.

On possibility of marriage affecting her career, the actress said;

“Not at all. I don’t see it coming. It’s even going to multiply my progress, because hopefully most of the movies he’s going to be directing, I will be involved. So. it’s going to boost my career”.

In a previous interview, Nkechi Emmanuel revealed how she met her husband, who according to her, was searching for actresses for a movie project.

‘We met through work. He spoke to a friend of his (who is an actor) in America that he wants to come and shoot a movie in Nigeria and that he needs some good actresses. He explained to the friend (who happens to be my friend as well) that he’s been searching but haven’t found the kind of quality he wants. And so he (our mutual friend) recommended me to him. So we got talking on a professional level, exchanged mails and pictures and gradually one thing led to the other… and we had our traditional wedding and court wedding’ she said.

http://livelystones.com.ng/regret-not-marrying-earlier-marriage-sweet-nurse-titi/

Finding someone special to go through life with is truly remarkable. Having someone who knows you inside and out, who is by your side as you navigate this journey of life is incredible. It is one of the most meaningful things we will do in our time here on Earth.

Unfortunately, it can lead to some of the worst pain if your relationship is not properly built and maintained. It all came crashing down for me when my relationship of several years came to an abrupt end with a nasty split.

When she left for good, it was a shock I wasn’t ready for. I blamed myself for the many reasons why our relationship ended. I can remember night after night, drinking solely to get drunk. The taste didn’t matter as long as it “numbed the pain.”

There were a few times I drank myself into total oblivion and ended up blacked out on the floor. Each time, I would call my brother in Texas and tell him what happened. He would continually tell me, well, “Today is a great day to continue with what you’ve already learned.”

Part of me hated him each time he would say that; it sounded so cliché. If anyone other than my brother had told me that, I would’ve called them a hippy and dismissed them. But, this was my brother. If nothing else, he was one of my only friends I knew cared if I was still alive or not. He seemed to be the only one in my corner despite knowing so much of who I really am.

After several months repeating this pattern, I began to feel the crushing weight of the drinking and depression. And the pain wasn’t going away. I never found myself saying, “Today I will not drink.” Instead, I found something to fill the gap. For me, that was working out. I started simple with a quick walk every day and eventually progressed to longer and more strenuous work outs.

Over time, I found myself in the rubble of my life. When I failed one day or slipped back into drinking, I remembered what my brother told me: My journey wasn’t over—it was just a great place to pick myself back up.

There were several times when I felt as though I was right back in my old habits of drinking. But I would reach out to my brother when that happened. He continued to help me see I was never too far gone to change my future. And that motivated me to be a better man than I was yesterday.

Here’s what I know now: Every second of every day is a chance to make a better decision than the last.

ibeleiveinlove

You leave your comment on the link below.
http://livelystones.com.ng/hit-rock-bottom-left-words-gave-hope/

I think she is trying not to feel guilty . The guy wants to marry her while she prefers to flirt

Some ladies shaaaaa.

greiboy:
I don't know why you want some moral validation for something you are already doing?

You are already sleeping with a man you are not married to, so what type of moral justification do you want from random people in the cyberspace,

How on earth can we guarantee your passage to heaven?

on the marriage issue though

I think you should understand that those men asking for your hand in marriage have a different moral compass and future ambition from you. Thus, they might look for someone else to marry them soon, if they notice that you aren't interested

In addition, you should remember that age (39) is not on your side and you have a baggage (children).

So soon you might not be lucky enough to meet the type of guys you desire.

You know what they say "the older you get the smaller your window of opportunities"

In any event, the ball is on your court. Choose the option that will make you the happiest

It depends ohhhhh.

Its not all ohhh.

Just the way those your friends are lucky ,its possible to get nice ladies too in the city.

Well, virginity or no virginity doesn't keep marriage.

Good ladies are every where , virgin are every where.

Jman06:
Most of the men around me who married such girls are enjoying their marriages. It is not lack of exposure per say but high moral values. Those girls are more cultured and know more about what marriage is all about for a typical Nigerian man.

Those girls have got no exes to come and ruin your marriage along the way.

Not at all my dear.

Xisnin:
Does being a non-virgin guarantee anything?

looool

Martin0:
your thoughts

Bible encourages the young widows to remarry 1 Timothy 5:11

liquidlove2018:
Dear Admin,

I am a 39 year old woman. I got married at the age of 25.My husband of twelve years died three years ago after a very difficult marriage. My marriage was a difficult one cos my husband was abusive,physically and emotionally. I was very unhappy for most of my marriage. I stayed because of my children. My husband died of cancer three years ago.

After his death,men started coming for me. I was still looking very young and attractive. I started to date again after two years of mourning. But the problem I have now is,I dont want to remarry again. I am a christian and I am not sure its okay to be having sex with someone you are not married to.

I met this man in church a few months ago,he is fine,handsome and well to do. He treats me and my kids very well. We have been dating for about six months and he wants to marry me but I dont want to marry anymore. I feel I have been married long enough for a lifetime. But Gbenga wouldnt want to be with me if we were not married. Its not like I am a virgin. Why cant I be with a man without getting married? Is this such a sin that will make someone not go to heaven?

Being married for 12 years was very painful for me and I have decided that marriage is not for me. No matter how nice a man is,he may want to control you and as a wife you must submit. I feel I cannot do that anymore. I have tried . My people think I am crazy,the church thinks ..

http://livelystones.com.ng/single-widowed-i-have-needs-but-marriage-is-not-the-answer/

Bible encourages the young widows to remarry 1 Timothy 5:11

z11111:
Greetings to our dear beloved Naira land members,

If you dont get to hear or see what people are going through ,you wont get to understand the extent of heart break people go through. Imagine waiting for a man who put you in a family way and end up being dumped. I do not support men planning to travel to a new place to just leave their newly married wife at home.

Dear Lively Stones ,

I got married traditionally four years ago to Abdul. As soon as we got married,he went to South Africa where his business is. I discovered I was pregnant a month later. At the time,I had to go and live with his parents in Ilorin. Living with inlaws is very difficult,they almost want to run your life.

Abdul kept telling me that he was working on our visa for me and my daughter to come join him but a whole year past and there was nothing. I was really lonely and frustrated. After my daughter clocked one year.Abdul stopped calling home. His parents and I were worried and wondered what had happened.

Rumors began to come in that Abdul was arrested and jailed in South Africa for doing drugs. We couldnt confirm that but we also didnt know how to reach him. At that point,even feeding was becoming tough for us as Abdul wasnt sending in money as before. So I told my inlaws that I needed a job. A friend of mine in Lagos asked me to come so she can get a job for me. So I left my daughter with my inlaws and moved to Lagos.

I got to Lagos two years ago. There was no job. I just had OND,even that couldn't find me a job. I didnt know Lagos was that difficult. But I was determined. I worked as sales girls for about seven months before things picked up. I got an office assistant job later on. Being alone in this city is not easy. I get alot of passes from men but I made up my mind to honor my marriage.

About this time,the rumors that were making rounds was that Abdul was now free from prison but married to a white south African woman. That broke me.My parents were also worried that I was wasting my life. When Kunle,a young man I met from work started coming for me,I kept resisting but not

http://livelystones.com.ng/i-waited-for-him-for-four-years-but-he-took-my-daughter-away/

Exactly.

Thanks for that scripture.

ysyowel:
see questions,
God is about to wipe away your tears, get marry, be happy and avoid immoral life, is time for you smile....., anything outside this have future it own future consequences/ regrets.
remember Bible encourages the young widows to remarry 1 Timothy 5:11

This is serious wickedness

bobokeshington:
wow

Hooking up things ? loool

Martin0:
eheh come de oza room I wanna tell u something, I have something to share with you, very important.

Neither do i think so too.

Marriage is not all about sex.

QueenSuccubus:
Is it only SEX will be the ultimate happiness achievement someone can get?

I DONT THINK SO sha...

So ,its sex that makes her really happy?

She should also know that , being in a relationship with a man can be abusive.

Staying with a man without marriage can be abusive.

QueenSuccubus:



Marriage is NOT the answer all the time..So many women around the world married an abusive man & despite with all these pains they endured, still they remain in their husband's side...

She's 39, She got kids...Men will come & go but the important is, what makes her really happy..

My dear , just move on with your life.

Some day , your daughter will search for you.

z11111:
Greetings to our dear beloved Naira land members,

If you dont get to hear or see what people are going through ,you wont get to understand the extent of heart break people go through. Imagine waiting for a man who put you in a family way and end up being dumped. I do not support men planning to travel to a new place to just leave their newly married wife at home.

Dear Lively Stones ,

I got married traditionally four years ago to Abdul. As soon as we got married,he went to South Africa where his business is. I discovered I was pregnant a month later. At the time,I had to go and live with his parents in Ilorin. Living with inlaws is very difficult,they almost want to run your life.

Abdul kept telling me that he was working on our visa for me and my daughter to come join him but a whole year past and there was nothing. I was really lonely and frustrated. After my daughter clocked one year.Abdul stopped calling home. His parents and I were worried and wondered what had happened.

Rumors began to come in that Abdul was arrested and jailed in South Africa for doing drugs. We couldnt confirm that but we also didnt know how to reach him. At that point,even feeding was becoming tough for us as Abdul wasnt sending in money as before. So I told my inlaws that I needed a job. A friend of mine in Lagos asked me to come so she can get a job for me. So I left my daughter with my inlaws and moved to Lagos.

I got to Lagos two years ago. There was no job. I just had OND,even that couldn't find me a job. I didnt know Lagos was that difficult. But I was determined. I worked as sales girls for about seven months before things picked up. I got an office assistant job later on. Being alone in this city is not easy. I get alot of passes from men but I made up my mind to honor my marriage.

About this time,the rumors that were making rounds was that Abdul was now free from prison but married to a white south African woman. That broke me.My parents were also worried that I was wasting my life. When Kunle,a young man I met from work started coming for me,I kept resisting but not

http://livelystones.com.ng/i-waited-for-him-for-four-years-but-he-took-my-daughter-away/

You are right.

My concern is let her leave Christianity out of it.

amnesty7:
Your life, your choice. But two things are sure:
1. your biology remains that of humans, and
2. whatever decision you make has a future price.

Exactly!

She should not use Christianity to justify her decision.

Leave Christianity out of this .

Splinz:
Dear 39 year old woman...

You're free to go into the world and fvck your kitty out without marriage. But mbok, do not drag the name of Christianity into it.

However, if you feel your nunu tickles every now and then and wets you like the Atlantic, and you still want to be part of what ever is called 'Christianity', you may consider doing the right thing.

Dazzol.

Some men shaaaaa!!!

When you join in messing up city girls , you will move to village virgin girls for marriage.

We must know that majority of them are the way they are (virgin) because of lack of exposure.

You may not tell the true character of an exposed lady until she is exposed.

Jman06:
No one thinks ALL village girls are the best. We go for virgin village girls because the probability of finding a good wife is higher among village girls than among city girls.

Dear Admin,

I am a 39 year old woman. I got married at the age of 25.My husband of twelve years died three years ago after a very difficult marriage. My marriage was a difficult one cos my husband was abusive,physically and emotionally. I was very unhappy for most of my marriage. I stayed because of my children. My husband died of cancer three years ago.

After his death,men started coming for me. I was still looking very young and attractive. I started to date again after two years of mourning. But the problem I have now is,I dont want to remarry again. I am a christian and I am not sure its okay to be having sex with someone you are not married to.

I met this man in church a few months ago,he is fine,handsome and well to do. He treats me and my kids very well. We have been dating for about six months and he wants to marry me but I dont want to marry anymore. I feel I have been married long enough for a lifetime. But Gbenga wouldnt want to be with me if we were not married. Its not like I am a virgin. Why cant I be with a man without getting married? Is this such a sin that will make someone not go to heaven?

Being married for 12 years was very painful for me and I have decided that marriage is not for me. No matter how nice a man is,he may want to control you and as a wife you must submit. I feel I cannot do that anymore. I have tried . My people think I am crazy,the church thinks ..

http://livelystones.com.ng/single-widowed-i-have-needs-but-marriage-is-not-the-answer/

Allen and I were buddies way back from secondary school to University. We all grew up in the same neighborhood in Ikoyi as kids. Jessica was also a kid in our neighborhood we all knew. Her family lived in the same compound with Allen’s family. Jessica was in primary six when we were in SS2. She was a pretty girl and most young boys my age and less had a crush on her.

Today,I manage my father’s oil and gas business,doing very well. I am married with a three year old daughter but myself and my wife got separated. It just didnt work out,I guess I married the wrong person. She has since moved on about a year ago.

Allen called me out of the blues five months ago. I hadnt heard from him in life three years. He told me his girlfriend needed a job. He was based in South Africa but his girlfriend who turned out to be little Jessica was in Nigeria in search of a job.He asked if I could help. I agreed instantly,come on,this is like my family. So Jessica started with us five months ago. The only problem was,they didnt live in Ikoyi anymore. They now live in their own house in Mowe. Getting to work in Ikoyi everyday would be a huge challenge so I offered my place for Jessica to move in and have access to work easily.


When Jessica resumed work,I couldnt believe how stunning she looked. Like she was a very hot pretty girl. She would wait for me to close most times so we go home together. I discovered she was such a warm hearted girl,full of life,intelligent and very caring. My daughter took to liking her instantly. Jessica being in my home,even though I have domestic staff,she turned my home into heaven. Her cooking was excellent. She became like a mother to Karen my daughter. They were best friends. And Jessica was good at her job too. I caught myself falling for this girl but I knew it wouldn’t work cos she is like five years my junior and her boyfriend is my buddy. This sucked so bad.

It was hard but I fought off my attraction for Jessica. She didnt make it any easier too. She would be going around the house in bum shorts. Oh God!

On my birthday,last month,she planned a surprise for me at home. It was just too beautiful. The meal was superb,she had my best friends over,the entire event was just marvelous. My friend Kunle told me at the party that it was getting obvious that Jessica.............

http://livelystones.com.ng/i-am-feeling-guilty-for-falling-in-love-with-my-best-friends-girlfriend/

If we all wait to be millionaires before we get married , then, people will wait for a life time. Some women help their husband become millionaires.

BossLaifay:
Oh sure why not? But it may interest you to know that more Nigerian women chip in more than 50% in marriages. How many Nigerian men are self sufficient?
You that is talking are you a millionaire?The poster that talked virgin is definitely no millionaire!

There is truth in what you said.

Man and lady can pretend while dating but cant do it for ever in marriage.

There is a saying that love is blind but opens up in marriage. loooool

b0rn2fuck:
In life everything has pros and cons,even the water we drink if too much can kill us, God is a jealous and give a damn about refusing to worship him may end ones in hell, all that are cons, all lady try to pretend and some can even pretend to hide are cons for 5 years and the who shown are cons are those will condemn knownly everyone has its own side of a devil side and no one is perfect, it's now depends on percentage of level of craze that live within them, for this I will say you need prayer .a wife can fat 3 times in a week right in your presence but she will never fat twice in 3 years dating her

A while ago, I was talking with a friend of mine and he asked, “Do you think one can even get to a point where he/she can say, ‘I love this person enough to marry him/her’?…” And I asked… Is love enough to marry?

Truth is there are so many other factors… to be considered when getting married. Love truly isn’t enough. And when you talk about love, I’m sure you’d think the feelings aka emotions aka chemistry aka butterflies-in-the-tummy but the fact is people change and feelings fade, so if we talk about love in this regard, it definitely has to be something deeper. It has to be love that’s committed to keeping at it even when feelings fade.

Having said love is not enough, one may wonder… what else could be worth considering I mean, I’ve met the love of my life that makes my tummy rumble (I always secretly wonder if this ever happens in reality though), who makes me grin from dawn to dusk, checks all the check-boxes on my list… what else could be worth considering?-

Firstly, compatibility.

The fact that you have feelings or ‘love’ for an individual doesn’t automatically mean you are compatible.

For starters, you have to feel the same way about yourselves and about God. The whole love stuff can’t be one-sided (This is usually frustrating even for both parties). You also have to believe the same things about God even if you both are believers. So one person can’t believe in grace and the finished work of Christ while the other believes and hopes to be saved by works. No, that won’t work. They would need to sit down with their bibles and come to a conclusion. This is because a sure home can’t be built on such a foundation. The spiritual atmosphere of the home and even the belief system of the children strongly depends on this.

As a believer, you have a certain relationship with God and you just have to be with someone who at the very least relates to God in the same way. This can’t be done by you… these relationships aren’t ‘made’, they are cultivated. So you can’t make him/her love God… Nah, that’s not your job. It’s the Holy Spirit that causes a man respond to the love of God. You can sow the seed and all of that.. but you get my point, ba?

You also would need to pay attention to genotype and other health compatibility issues.

Number 2, capacity.

You need to ask yourself this question, “Is this person capable to handle a relationship/marriage?” and be honest in your answer. Is this person able financially, emotionally and spiritually to make a marriage work? Imagine a relationship/marriage where both parties can’t fend for themselves or still rely on third parties for the basic needs of life… that relationship is calling seriously for drama.

Thirdly, maturity.

Maturity is also something you need to look out for. And please people… I am not talking about ‘I am 25 and a graduate’, No.

Maturity doesn’t exactly have to do with age. Maturity is measurable. So by the way a fellow talks, acts, thinks and relates with others, you can to a great extent determine how mature he/she is.

He/she must know what it means to love/submit. Beyond you, you need to watch for how he/she treats others. If you are the only one he/she is nice to, we have a problem o.

The person has to be mature with proofs (fruits, evidence). You may need to pay attention to how the person makes decisions, what majorly influences the choices he/she makes….?He/she should have at least someone who he/she is submitted to… someone who can say seat and he/she would seat. This is very critical. The only one who loves and is submitted to authority would be able to fit into these roles in marriage.

Fourthly, I know you have heard this before but Character matters! You also need to look beyond the butterflies holding a parade in your tummy and watch out for character flaws that are capable of wrecking you/the marriage. Don’t stay and be hoping he/she would change. It is not exactly up to you to effect change in another person. And if after pointing it out to the fellow’s notice, he/she isn’t exactly willing to change, hear ye the word of the Lord and flee!

If you are like me, you are probably wondering.. whoa, so many things to look out for. How can I be sure that I don’t make a mistake? Like I always reassure myself, I’ll reassure you too… God is in charge of your life and has got things figured out already. Rely on the Holy Spirit for directions and you just would never miss it. God who created you knows your perfect size and fit and He’d work it out for you. Just be sure that when He says go, you go and when he says wait, you wait.

In conclusion, remember a broken relationship/engagement is far better than a broken marriage. Don’t be afraid to walk away from someone you know isn’t ready or God’s will for you. Don’t close your eyes to the obvious just because of ‘love’… when the challenges would begin to surface, even the butterflies would no longer be there, let alone comfort or rescue you. � (I know I am saying butterflies a lot, I just like the concept.. lol).

lifegiva

for related stories , visit.;

http://livelystones.com.ng/much-marriage-whats-love-got/

Dear Lively Stones ,

Hello my name is Gracia, my friend added me to this group which i did not understand why but having been reading some of your posts i feel like perhaps it will benefit me on shedding some light on something i have recently discovered.

Feel free to share on both lively stone and naira land.

I am a single mom of two, my relationship with my kids’s father ended about a year and a half ago, it was overall a very unhealthy one with lots of emotional abuse.
I had a very rough year following the end of this relationship and struggled to find a home with my kids, after a year we are finally building our lives again in our new home and we are much happier.

Before then i met a lovely man who was very smitten with me and initially i thought i liked him a lot but then realised i actually feel nothing for him, infact i couldnt stand the sight of him and i quickly had to end it. I thought perhaps at the time i was not really ready for a relationship and maybe it was too soon, however i recently met my ideal kinda guy, christian, caring,and he is even talking of marriage, again i felt very excited at the beginning as i have been praying for a God loving God fearing man but those feelings of indifference has come back, i feel absolutely nothing and its killing me because i dont understand why!

I want to feel something, not necessarily butterflies but something. I know i care about him and i worry for him and i think about him and i dont want to lose him but i dislike his company for no reason, as soon as i see him i wish he would go. He has noticed this and i plucked the courage to tell him whats going on with me, at first he was very understanding and was willing to support me if i wanted to go for therapy but he suddenly ....

http://livelystones.com.ng/could-my-abusive-marriage-preventing-me-from-finding-true-love-again/

Dear Admin,

Please help me ask on your group if this is ok. I want to know if I have cause to worry or maybe even discontinue my relationship.My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now. Its a serious relationship,he is already talking marriage maybe this year or next.

But my boyfriend has a habit that is giving me concern. He is addicted to big breasts. My are ok,not too big but big enough. But he likes to collect nude breast photos. He says he just likes them. He has pictures of my breast too. I sent it to him,that is one of the things we do to keep the relationship sexy. I know guys like seeing nudes and I am proud of my body and my boyfriend likes it too.

....read full story and other stories on the blog :


http://livelystones.com.ng/my-boyfriend-has-a-weird-addictionshould-i-dump-him/

Dear Admin,

Please help me ask on your group and nairanders if this is ok.

I want to know if I have cause to worry or maybe even discontinue my relationship.My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now. Its a serious relationship,he is already talking marriage maybe this year or next.

But my boyfriend has a habit that is giving me concern. He is addicted to big breasts. My are ok,not too big but big enough. But he likes to collect nude breast photos. He says he just likes them. He has pictures of my breast too. I sent it to him,that is one of the things we do to keep the relationship sexy. I know guys like seeing nudes and I am proud of my body and my boyfriend likes....


http://livelystones.com.ng/my-boyfriend-has-a-weird-addictionshould-i-dump-him/

Good day Ma,

My name is Nina (not real name). I need your advice on something troubling my mind seriously. I got a job in a company about a year ago. As soon as I resumed,the MD of the company started to take interest in me. I refused all his advances because he is a married man old enough to be my father. He kept pressuring me but I just refused.

The advances continued and I kept refusing. One day,he called me into his office. He asked me to sit down which I did. The next thing I knew he was blowing a substance on me that made me very weak. He then climbed on me,removed my underwear and I didnt even reject. He had his fill of me and asked me to dress up and leave his office. I got back to my seat and realized that I just allowed this man to have sex with me with no form of resistance whatsoever.I began to cry cos I just realized that this man had used juju or something on me.

After that incident,I have contemplated quiting my job but I dont have any other option at the moment. I decided to avoid the man at all cost. When he realized I was avoiding me,he would come to my office and say hello Nina. Once he says that,I get up and follow him to his office without even thinking about it. That happened twice after the first time.


http://livelystones.com.ng/young-lady-under-the-influence-of-sexual-jujucries-for-help/

I still think it’s surprising how many times I could be such a fool. It all began when I started college. Deep down, I always believed that I would marry the first person I fall in love with.

When I joined college, within a few days I met a senior named, Sahil. He was in his fourth year and he was one of the people that ragged me when I joined. Within a few days, he told me that he liked me and I was impressed with the way he spoke. A lot of my friends and other people in our college told me that he’s not a good guy and that shouldn’t be how I first fall in love. I ignored them all and continued to be with Sahil.

It was foolish of me to think that I would end up marrying this boy. But I did. We began talking on the phone every single night and in college, he would always come find me and keep me company for lunch or otherwise. We spent a lot of time talking and I got to know so much about him.

There were times when I would find out that he had lied to me about several things, but I never confronted him because I was a bit ashamed to ask him. Also, I found out that he was an orthodox person, like his family.

After a few months, Sahil had to move to another city for his job. And that’s how our long-distance relationship began.

If though he was far away, he would tell me not to wear western dresses and how I should only wear Indian suits, because he loved it. He even told me not to talk to other guys and maintain my distance from some girls that he didn’t approve of. We used to meet twice a month, I used to go into the city to meet him, it was a good two hours from where I lived.

On one such encounter, he told me that he wasn’t feeling good on the inside and wanted me to kiss him, as a gesture to let him know that I loved him. Like many other girls, I thought that getting intimate was something I would do only with my husband. But I decided that I had to prove that I wasn’t going to leave him and so I kissed him.

The next time we were going to meet, he told me that he wanted to kiss every inch of my body, to ensure that I was only and always going to be his.

I thought about this for two days and he soon convinced me that we weren’t going to have sex, but that these “sweet kisses” were going to be his birthday gift.

So, we met on his birthday and I gave him my body. When I told him that I wasn’t going to agree to anything more, he agreed. But the next time we met, he took me to a hotel room and when I asked him why we had to meet here and not in his room, he said that he just wanted to hug me and sleep next to me. I agreed to this.

After a few minutes, he began tickling me and started kissing me again. Of course, I’m human and so when he kissed me, I lost control and kissed him back too. During this time, he began taking my clothes off. I tried to stop him, but he told me that he’s already kissed my entire body, how would this be any different?

I agreed, but from inside, I wasn’t happy and I begged him not to go ahead. But he had a whole different agenda.

He began manipulating me and told me that sex would only be “considered” if we did it without a condom and that with a condom, we would be fine. I was naïve and so I agreed. I was a bit surprised that he already had a condom in his wallet. And so, we did it that afternoon in that hotel room. This went on for the next few visits, and it wasn’t the end.

The next time we met, he told me that we could have sex without a condom, as long as he doesn’t finish inside of me. As that was something that he would do only after our marriage. You’re not going to believe me when I say this, but I believed him and so we did it again, this time without a condom. He gave me the Pill to have after this, he told me that it was a precaution.

I was madly in love with him by now that none of what he said seemed unbelievable. As a normal human being, I began enjoying this time with him too. My life soon became college, meeting him, sleeping with him and finishing with the Pill.

After a few weeks of this, his abuse began. It started with him slapping me around a bit and then he began forcing me to start using intimacy gadgets.

Slowly, all our phone calls began and ended with phone intimacy. If I said no, he would hit me the next time we would meet up. My friends began noticing these marks on my face, arms and body. And they kept advising me to end this abusive relationship. But I wasn’t able to think straight, especially since we had had sex.

I knew that I couldn’t leave him, I was in love with him.

It was only after a few months my friend told me something that changed my life, for the better, “If he loved you, why would he have slapped you? He knew that you were an easy target to manipulate and that’s why he did it. He will leave you once he is done with you as he has done in the past. Before he leaves you, you leave him.”

I don’t know how I finally got the courage to do it and one day, I called him and told him that I’m leaving him. He was shocked. He called me several times after that phone call but I refused to answer them.

I wouldn’t say that this has changed my life, but it has changed my outlook on love. What happened wasn’t just his fault, it was mine too. I should have been sure about what I was ready to do and what I wasn’t. These incidents were a lesson and I have learned a lot from it.

I’ve never seen someone being manipulated like this, in my entire life, but I’m here today to share my experience and not gain your sympathy. Sometimes, it’s difficult to say no, especially if it is to a face that we love and cherish, but always remember, that you should put yourself first because if someone loves you, as much as you love them, he or she will never abuse you- neither mentally nor physically.

http://livelystones.com.ng/walked-away-relationshipi-choose-happiness/

Good evening Lively Stones,

A member of our facebook group shared this story today and I asked her if I could share on Lively Stones which I know is a relationship blog. She agreed and so,I would like to share her story and I hope we can all advice her as she is very desperate for a solution.

Esther is a 26 years old graduate. According to her,she got married in November 2017. She met her husband through a mutual friend's parents 25th wedding anniversary. When she was introduced to Jeff,she said she was amazed to see how handsome he was. He was like 6ft tall,not too light,very stunning man to behold. She and him exchanged numbers and after the party,they started dating. She was surprised at such a successful young man was interested in a girl like her. Everywhere they went together,girls,women even men are flirting with Jeff cos he is so good looking.

Before you knew it,they were talking marriage and in two months time,Jeff married Esther. Esther wondered why the rush but she was also grateful to have caught such a man to be her husband.Esther,young and naive had not even gotten a job yet,Jeff told her she may not need to work,he is rich enough,he would provide for her. He also promised to start any business she was interested in when they got married.

Esther was naive to also believe Jeff for saying they would not have sex until marriage. Reason because Jeff has said any woman he would marry,he will not sleep with until they are legally married. Esther felt so lucky.

On their wedding night,after the ceremonies ended and everyone had gone home,they retired to their room and Esther was waiting for her husband to come for the long awaited sex. That night,Jeff asked her to relax. He suggested that they both rest that night,he said they have all their lives ahead for alot of sex. She told him hes joking. Next morning,in a romantic gesture,Esther started pre-intimacy with Jeff in order to get him into the mood. Jeff responded with heavy kissing,touching,etc. When Esther tried to touch his manhood,he ......

http://livelystones.com.ng/my-husband-is-encouraging-me-to-cheat-with-his-brother/

True word.
That's why marriage is not for babes.

MissRaine69:
Fertility puts a strain on any marriage how you manage that strain depends on emotional intelligence.
How did he cope with knowing that he potentially might not be a father? How did you cope with your fertility struggles? When did the passion just turn to sex and routine for the sole purpose of getting pregnant?
Both of you checked out emotionally.
Fix things.

I think also it depends on the type of counsel she has or friends she has around. She may not have anyone to suggest to her the right thing to do. Just hope she stop hurting herself thinking she is getting back at her mum.

InfernoNig:
You have every right to be angry and at same time you own your life a 100% responsibilty.your mom did not force you to be a callous bitch or a prostitute. You choose that part yourself and its your choice so Quit blaming your mom and own up to your doing.

My name is Victor,I am 43 years old and I have been married for 12 years to my wife Judith. I actually suffer from a small disability,I stammer. Because of my condition,I never believed I would make it in life let alone get married. But I met my wife through my sister. They were friends from school. We both fell in love with our characters and she didnt mind that I was a stammerer.

I cannot say that our marriage has been perfect all these while but I can say that we are not doing badly.However,the problem started like two years ago. My wife started working with a TV station as a marketer. There is a young man who is her colleague . He is was engaged two years ago. He and my wife are in the same marketing team together. Not long after,I used to hear my wife talk about this guy ,about their work. I didnt think anything because the discussion is always about their work together. When the guy got married,I went with my wife to their wedding.

But I started to be concerned when my wife seem to be close to the guy so much that she told me that the guy and her used to go to eat together during lunch break in their office. Because I trust my wife,I didnt say anything.Then,my wife


....read full story and other stories on the blog :
http://livelystones.com.ng/lost-wife-handsome-colleague-stammer/

My life took a very bad turn towards the end of last year. And I became a miserable man.

Around June last year,my wife of 13 years became suddenly ill.At first,we self medicated and treated malaria. After a few days,she got worse which prompted us to take her to the hospital. She was diagnosed on Typhoid,later high fever....all got worse after two weeks. By the third week,the doctors didnt know what the problem was. My wife began to grow lean and weak. Miraculously,she became well by the sixth week in hospital and we were discharged.

A month later,she woke up one morning and couldnt move her legs. We rushed her to the hospital where she was diagnosed with stroke. We became devastated. We spent two months in the hospital without any improvement. She was sent home where we began to manage her. Her family then decided to take her to a prayer church in their home town. Initially,I refused but I didnt have a choice,so I agreed. She spent two weeks in the prayer house where they were praying and fasting for her. By the third week,the prophet gave them a revelation. That the reason for my wife's sickness was because of an atrocity she had committed against her husband. She was asked to go and confess to her husband and ask for forgiveness.

....read full story and other stories on the blog :

http://livelystones.com.ng/stuck-adulterous-womanwhom-cannot-leave/