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 Celebrities › A Woman Is Incomplete Without Marriage – Actress Uba by liquidlove2018(op): 8:45am On Feb 12, 2018 |
25-year-old Nollywood actress, Uchenna Uba, has revealed that no woman can be complete without marriage. She made the assertion in an interview with Vanguardngr. According to her: “I’m an Igbo girl and with the way I was brought up, I agree that a woman is incomplete without marriage. Regardless of how much a woman makes or her level of success, she is incomplete without a husband.” People are of the opinion that actresses are promiscuous, how true is this? I can’t talk for everybody but not all actresses are promiscuous. People see us in this light because of our job, they tend to forget that what we do is make-believe and as professionals we must do it well. Why do actresses live beyond their means? I don’t think it’s just actresses; it happens everywhere, everyone that pretends will definitely live above their income. Do you think social media influence should be a measure of wealth? First of all, whatever you see on social media is a scam. For example, before I go on set a costumier will dress me up, a makeup artist will make me up and I will also have my pictures taken, I will eventually post the picture on social media, does that mean I’m the owner of the clothes and all? If you judge by what you see on social media, you will end up being disappointed, because people posts what they want you to see. I like to meet people before passing judgement How do you deal with competition in the industry? I don’t believe in competition because http://livelystones.com.ng/woman-incomplete-without-marriage-actress-uba/
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| Romance › My Wife Pushed Me Against My Family Before Ruining My Life by liquidlove2018(op): 10:59am On Feb 10, 2018 |
Sometimes,life brings challenges our way,some of these challenges can actually cause so much pain and make us take actions that we might eventually regret. My brother Asim is the only son of our mother. We are five,four girls and one boy. We were very close growing up especially since we lost our father at a very young age. Our mother struggled to see us through school. We all also got involved in schooling and working to support our mom and ourselves. With God,we made it through. Asim was the most ambitious and hardworking. He got a job with an international oil company immediately after school. He was always saying he would make sure my mom enjoys the fruit of her labour when he makes it in life. Asim met a woman in Calabar a few years after he got his job. He brought her to the family and in a year,they were married. Since Evelyn married my brother,things changed. Evelyn made sure my brother forgot his family. His wife became cunning. She would act nice in front of my brother but behind him,she taunted any member of the family who wanted to come close to them them. An incident happened that made my brother to chase my younger sister and mother out of his house because of his wife. He told the rest of the family never to step into his home anymore. Knowing how hard my mom worked to raise us,it pained her greatly to see what my brother’s wife was doing to the family. But what pained her most was that,our mother was so sick one time,she was admitted in the hospital and we needed money to pay some of her medical bills. The girls couldnt raise everything so we asked Asim to assist but Asim’s wife told him not to give us the money. According to her,her church had given prophecy that a close family member would ask Asim for money. Asim was not to give the money as that person will use that money to bring about Asim’s downfall. So Asim refused to give us any money. I remember crying and rolling on the floor begging my brother. Telling Him its his beloved mother we are talking about,but Asim wouldn’t listen. We almost lost our mom,if not for God. Asim’s behavior and coldness to our family was unbelievable. The family felt pained and betrayed but left Asim alone with his wife. Six years later, Asim caught his wife...................... http://livelystones.com.ng/my-wife-pushed-me-against-my-family-before-ruining-my-life/ |
| Romance › My Faith In Men Is Finally Destroyed By My Uncle’s Betrayal by liquidlove2018(op): 7:43am On Feb 10, 2018 |
Why do some people live their lives in a lie?Why is there such greed and wickedness among men? Joy had been telling me about this aunty of hers. Her aunty’s wedding was coming up in Ibadan. It was her favorite Aunty’s wedding. I bought the Asoebi,we planned our dressing,make up,I mean we were both excited. This Aunty of hers,aunty Shade has been dating a guy for eleven years,they had a son together who is eight years old. But according to the gist,the guy was abroad,he had been trying to hustle so he couldnt come for Aunty and her son. So this year,the man had finally got his green card and is coming for Aunty Shade. They were going to relocate after the wedding. Aunty Shade,the entire family were agog with excitement. There is no body who doesnt like Aunty Shade,she pretty even for a forty one year old woman. She is kind hearted and she loves owambe eh. So we all knew her wedding was going to be the talk of Ibadan for some time. The wedding day couldnt come fast enough. That was the day I saw the first set of souvenirs for the wedding. It dawned on me that the groom to be looked alot like someone I knew. His name was Sukanmi,but he looked alot like Mom’s sister’s husband,Jide. On the wedding day,when we walked Aunty Shade’s train,I was among the eight young ladies in the train….I saw him first,and then I really SAW him!…Standing as the groom was Uncle Jide’.my aunty’s husband. I didnt know how to reach but I had to continue walking. When I got close to Joy,I told her that something aweful was happening and I told her that her Auunty was getting married to my Aunty’s husband who lives in the US with my Aunty and their two children. Joy was convinced I was wrong and told me to keep quiet. How I kept my cool was amazing even to me. As soon as the exchange of vows was over,I walked up to the groom and greeted him. He pretended not to know me. Then I asked him,hows Aunty Lola and the the girls? He then froze. He looked at me in disbelief. He just ignored me and walked away. All through the reception,I was livid with anger. But my friend told me to relax that she was sure I was mistaken. But soon after the wedding ceremony,Uncle Jide managed to whisper to me: I will .. http://livelystones.com.ng/my-faith-in-men-is-finally-destroyed-by-my-uncles-betrayal/ |
| Romance › My Husband Would Have Committed Suicide If I Didnt Do This by liquidlove2018(op): 3:11pm On Feb 08, 2018 |
What am about to say is very heavy for me to say it but i did what I had to do. I am having an affair to save my marriage and my husband! Joe and I have been married for six years and we have three children. But ever since Joe lost his job with the bank 17 months ago,things have been pretty difficult. I have had to try and step in but my meager salary as a secretary is not enough to carry us through. Things became quite tough. I went to everyone I knew to help. All I kept getting were promises. Some gave little amounts like N2k which didnt even do anything.I went to see my boss for a loan to pay my children’s school fees last term and he asked why we were having financial problems. He then said he could help my husband get a job if I could sleep with him. I refused and my children were eventually stopped from going to school. I wept so much. My husband tried to do bus Driver work as that was only thing he could do at the time but all he makes in a day is not much. One day,he came back feeling frustrated and said he wanted to commit suicide. He said if not for me and the kids,he would have committed suicide. At that point,I knew I needed to do something. I went back to my boss,I cried and cried begging him to help us. He then said,I could do oral on him,that wont be real s.x. I didnt have a choice I agreed. True to his words,my boss helped my husband get another job in the bank. Last month,my husband resumed in his new job. He is happy,my children are back in school but every day at work, http://livelystones.com.ng/my-husband-would-have-committed-suicide-if-i-didnt-do-this/ |
| Romance › Re: They Are Separated, How Do I Make Him Choose Me Over Her? by liquidlove2018(op): 3:05pm On Feb 08, 2018 |
This to let us know know how some ladies reason. Imagine , because of house rent ,she sold her self so cheap. The thing is that ,there is no way the man is going to marry her except for sex slave which so disgusting . The land Lord self is a disgrace to man hood. liquidlove2018: 2 Likes |
| Romance › They Are Separated, How Do I Make Him Choose Me Over Her? by liquidlove2018(op): 1:05pm On Feb 08, 2018*. Modified: 3:03pm On Feb 08, 2018 |
Dear ma, I am a single mother of two children. I have been on my own for the last eight years. I got involved with a man who married me traditionally,he went abroad and since then,I didnt hear from him anymore. I heard he got married to a lady abroad so his people came to my people to say that they are no longer interested in marrying. My parents returned the ride price. That was eight years ago. Ever since,I have been in and out of relationship. None of them really worked out . I think men are scared of responsibility when they consider that I have two children. I must confess,its not been easy though. Financially, its been tough but I have been trying my best as a caterer. I had to move houses last year,I got a two bedroom apartment for the cost of N350k. I didn’t have all the money but the landlord told me to bring whatever I had that he would take it but I have to please him for helping me. I was happy. By pleasing him,you know,he meant sleeping with him. I did that ,I thought it was just one off. I am ashamed but I didnt have a choice. Later on,after moving in,I found out that my landlord is separated from his wife and children. The children come to visit him once in a while though. So,my landlord and I have been together. He says I can stay in the apartment as long as I like that he will not collect money from me again. The issue now is, http://livelystones.com.ng/they-are-separated-how-do-i-make-him-choose-me-over-her/
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| Family › Former Prostitute Seeks Help On How To Win Her Fiance back by liquidlove2018(op): 11:56am On Feb 08, 2018*. Modified: 3:06pm On Feb 08, 2018 |
Good day Admin, When I came to Lagos seven years ago,I was running from a life of hardship in Auchi where my parents couldn’t cater for the 19 children they had. I followed my childhood friend,Katherine. Kate said she knew people who could help us work and make money fast so we can become rich. On getting to Lagos,we lived with kate’s aunty who used us as Sex Slaves . We would stay in her house,she gave us food and weekly allowances. I didnt mind cos I just wanted to get away from the life I had back in Auchi and if this is the only way out,I am in. We prostituted for two years and gained our freedom. After that,all the work we did,the clients we slept with,the money became ours. People liked me and kate cos we were very good at our jobs. Any man who had us,wanted us again. It got to a point,all the rich men were coming for us. We became not just prostitutes but escorts. The money was good. We started living in our own rented accommodation. Thats when we met one Chief. Actually,Kate met him. But when Chief saw me,he wanted me. That caused a serious problem for us. Kate didnt want to let chief go. But I didnt care,we were hustlers Chief got me an apartment in Ikeja GRA. He got me a car and made me his permanent mistress. That meant,no more prostitution. That incident made me completely fall out with Kate. Anyway,after a year,with the money chief provided for me,I became quite rich and I relocated to South Africa. I met Osas in South Africa. He was my boyfriend after like three months. I opened my hair saloon in south Africa and I was doing very well. Like almost two years after,Osas proposed to me. We came to Nigeria for our introduction. It turns out that Osas sister knows kate. When she invited Kate for the traditional wedding,Kate showed up with every intention to destroy me. Kate came with pictures of me when I was into prostitution back then. Some of the pictures were really racy and I cannot say I am proud of them. Kate told everyone at the traditional wedding that I was a prostitute and all. Unfortunately, http://livelystones.com.ng/former-prostitute-seeks-help-on-how-to-win-her-fiance-back/ |
| Romance › Re: Former Prostitute Seeks Help On How To Win Her Fiance Back by liquidlove2018: 11:44am On Feb 08, 2018 |
Waoh....... Things are happening ohhhh. This is why its good to reveal your secret to who ever you want to marry. We must be care on the type of life we are living coz you never can tell. Godslove2018: |
| NYSC › If You Are In A Relationship, How God-full Should Bae Be? by liquidlove2018(op): 11:40am On Feb 08, 2018 |
There are so many slangs and short forms of saying stuff that I am scared I can’t keep up, but I guess bae is pretty popular. Whether it is baby or bae or boo or just b, we all know it is referring to that person that makes your heart go skrrr paaa…… Basically, this post is addressing unmarried people and as believers, that would mean someone you are in a relationship with hopefully tending towards marriage. Not so long ago, a colleague was talking to me about someone she was in a relationship with and was saying, “..the worst part is that he is a christian.. they can just be the worst… blah blah“. Now I hear that a lot and I think to myself… Does saying “I am a Christian” automatically mean is a child of God or is a godly person? The days we are in are the days that have a lot of people claiming to be Christians but living really ordinary lives. I am not talking about morality now, I am talking about people living lives without the Spirit. In Romans 8, the bible says….” as many that are led by the Spirit, they are the sons of God…” This means that as Christians, we are led by the spirit of God. So when you are looking to go into a relationship, you should not just say because he/she is a Christian, I am fine…No My mom would always tell me, a man (or woman) who doesn’t have God as his anchor can go anywhere in future irrespective of what he professes now. So the responsibility lies with you to be spiritually sensitive and discerning. Watch out for signs of spiritual maturity and stability. You know the way you’d look out for how financially stable he or she is, do the same for the spiritual. Can he spiritually lead (for the sisters) or support (for the brothers) me? This is highly critical. A man or woman who doesn’t have God as his anchor can go anywhere in future irrespective of what he professes now. It shouldn’t be that as a lady, you’d go into a relationship or agree to marry someone who you’d be dragging to church or begging to do devotion when he is supposed to be your head. When you have children, you’d be swamped: trying to grow in the faith and lead your children aright and yet, you’d be begging someone to do devotion. Or as a brother, you’d marry a lady whose heart isn’t with the Lord. In the end, even your own spiritual walk is affected because marriage is a ‘yoke-ing’. It is a union, a coming together. How possible is it that when you want to go somewhere your head, leg or hand isn’t willing to go? That would mean no one is going nowhere or at the very best. http://livelystones.com.ng/relationship-god-full-bae/ |
| Romance › My Husband’s Step Father Destroyed Our Opportunity For Happiness by liquidlove2018(op): 3:25pm On Feb 02, 2018 |
Dear Admin, I am writing on behalf of my husband. Sunny and I have been married three months and we are in pain and need prayers to get through this pain. When I met Sunny,he was a quiet gentleman whom I used to see during our tutorial classes for ICAN. He used to like to stay by himself. But one day in class,no one could answer a question that the Lecturer asked but him. After class,I walked up to him and introduced myself. It turns out that Sunny is a very intelligent guy,infact,he is a nerd! But a kind one and very sweet. Over the next three years,we became very close friends. I dare say because of my friendship with Sunny,I passed all my ICAN exams very well. I also found out that Sunny is a born again christian like me even though we both attended different churches. But we shared alot in common. By the second year of our friendship,we became romantically involved. Sunny is the perfect gentleman any woman would want. I used to wonder why he didnt have many girlfriends before me,he would say its because he was shy. He is also a very good cook. That is why I feel so blessed when he asked me to marry him. I was feeling so blessed. As Christians,we didnt have any sx before our wedding night. We kissed a few times during our courtship but nothing more than that. I used to look forward to my wedding night with great hope. I dont have any sxual experience myself. I mean,I have always been a church girl since childhood. My wedding night was horrible. Horrible because,when it came for time for the lovemaking that I was waiting for,we were kissing and when that didnt move further than that,I tried to initiate sx but Sunny kept pushing me away.I eventually asked him why he was pushing me away after I got a bit frustrated. But Sunny just said he was tired. That we have all our lives to have sx. I thought wedding night s*x was a big deal for men..well, I let him be after that. But three days after wedding,still no sx. We always had alot of kissing and pre-intimacy but once I try to go further,Sunny would stop me. After a week,I became apprehensive. I decided we needed to talk. When I told him I was not happy we hadnt had sx one week after wedding,he said he was sorry that he was thinking I needed time to adjust. I asked him if he was a virgin,he said no. So we proceeded after talking but I wasnt feeling it. It felt like I was forcing it. Eventually,he tried to penetrate but he immediately started acting like he was in pain,not long after that,he lost his erection. He didnt even penetrate properly. Immediately,I saw he was a bit ashamed. Not to harm his ego,I told him it was ok. We kept trying every other day but the same experience. It was now clear that my husband had a sxual problem. Three weeks later,I was now enraged. I told him to tell me what was going on. I was crying,screaming and throwing things…I had alot of pent up sxual tension unreleased I guess. At that point,my husband broke down and said he needed to tell me he has never been with a woman sxualy but with a man. Omo,I was like…no way..you mean you are gay? He said,no. He said, his only sxual experience was with his step father who sexually abused him. Raped him under his mother’s nose for eight years. I cringed. I was in shock. Sunny began to tell me how http://livelystones.com.ng/my-husbands-step-father-destroyed-our-opportunity-for-happiness/
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| Romance › Re: Dont Give Up:tips To Help You Turn A Failing Marriage Around by liquidlove2018(op): 3:11pm On Feb 02, 2018 |
liquidlove2018: |
| Romance › Re: Abomination? She Is Marrying My Brother In Law To Spite Me by liquidlove2018(op): 3:00pm On Feb 02, 2018 |
Hello, These stories are real life issues received from some of our readers on the blog. Some may not visit naira land. The reason we post stories for you to read and probably visit the blog is so that you can drop your reasonable comments. We dont just post stories to entice you but rather to get suggestion from well meaning nairanders to enable the writers of these stories make appropriate decision about the matter on ground. Grayjoy: |
| Romance › Re: Abomination? She Is Marrying My Brother In Law To Spite Me by liquidlove2018(op): 2:54pm On Feb 02, 2018 |
So how many cups of juice did you buy? Dshocker: |
| Family › Abomination? She Is Marrying My Brother In Law To Spite Me by liquidlove2018(op): 2:46pm On Feb 02, 2018 |
My younger sister,Nina has always been this way. For as long as I can remember,when we were kids,she always did things just to spite me and get me into trouble. This went on even when we were teenagers and started to date boys. She would want to snatch any boy who paid me attention. She was supposed to be the prettier one so I didnt quite understand why everything I had,she wanted. I remember when I was in 300 level,she was a jambite,she visited me i my hostel and met my room mate’s father. She immediately began to date the man. Not because she lacked guys flocking her or she needed sugar daddy money..she just wanted to see me embarrassed. Of course,my room mate never forgave me for it when she found out. I know siblings have their usual ramblings and disagreements but with Nina,she is just the queen of annoying character all the time. When Jide and I got married,I warned her not to try any rubbish. I promised her I would kill her if she dared. In any case,I already told Jide about her,so really,she couldnt have done her stupidity with him . But I didnt know this girl wasnt .... http://livelystones.com.ng/abomination-she-is-marrying-my-brother-in-law-to-spite-me/
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| Romance › Abomination? She Is Marrying My Brother In Law To Spite Me by liquidlove2018(op): 11:39am On Feb 02, 2018 |
My younger sister,Nina has always been this way. For as long as I can remember,when we were kids,she always did things just to spite me and get me into trouble. This went on even when we were teenagers and started to date boys. She would want to snatch any boy who paid me attention. She was supposed to be the prettier one so I didnt quite understand why everything I had,she wanted. I remember when I was in 300 level,she was a jambite,she visited me i my hostel and met my room mate’s father. She immediately began to date the man. Not because she lacked guys flocking her or she needed sugar daddy money..she just wanted to see me embarrassed. Of course,my room mate never forgave me for it when she found out. I know siblings have their usual ramblings and disagreements but with Nina,she is just the queen of annoying character all the time. When Jide and I got married,I warned her not to try any rubbish. I promised her I would kill her if she dared. In any case,I already told Jide about her,so really,she couldnt have done her stupidity with him . But I didnt know this girl ........... http://livelystones.com.ng/abomination-she-is-marrying-my-brother-in-law-to-spite-me/
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| Romance › Dont Give Up:tips To Help You Turn A Failing Marriage Around by liquidlove2018(op): 9:07am On Feb 02, 2018 |
Failure. No one likes that word. In particular, when it applies to their efforts at something of extreme importance, there is no greater disappointment when you miss the mark. Well, imagine taking that word and applying it to a concept with lifetime implications. Marriage is just that. It is a concept with lifetime implications. At least, that’s the way it used to be. These days, the divorce rate in this country stands at 50 percent for first time marriages and teeters between 70-80 percent for second and third marriages. Somewhere along the way, 50-80 percent of couples decided that if they think their marriage is a failure, they might as well call it quits. There is no longer a willingness to tough it out and find a way to make it work. They treat their marriage like they treat their car. If the engine is damaged, might as well get a new one. The work that it will take to rebuild the engine doesn’t appeal to them. They don’t want to deal with the hassle of it. So they move on. But the vows they take when they stand before God and each other is that they are willing to do whatever, whenever, wherever, and however – forever. That is the promise they make to each other. So, what happened? Unfortunately, we live in a world where instant gratification has us all twisted. We’ve got to have what we want and we’ve got to have it now. The thing many couples just don’t get, however, is that marriage doesn’t work that way. In fact, if there is a change they’d like to see take place in their relationship, it may take months, or even years, before they see the fruits of their labor. And that’s why they must promise a lifetime when they begin their journey. In this article, I hope to inspire you to not take that promise lightly. If you find yourself at a crossroads in your marriage and your instinct is telling you to jump ship, let me encourage you to stay on board with some amazingly simple tips to help bring your failing marriage back to life Believe that your spouse is STILL “the one!” One of the first thoughts people have when they think their marriage is failing is that maybe the married the wrong person to begin with. In fact, they go so far as to remind themselves of reasons other people said they shouldn’t have married their spouse in the first place. If that’s you, let me encourage you to reminisce a different way. Remember when you told your Dad, “Yo Pops, I think I found ‘the one’,” how excited you were. Or, how you couldn’t stop talking to your girls about the man you just know you’re going to marry. Naturally, the chemistry was fresh and the emotions were new. But before you turn away from your commitment, write down all the reasons why your spouse is still “the one.” Then, decide that you will learn to love the person you married. Get the right skills to work your marriage Okay, so you’ve decided to learn to love the person you married, now what? Well, “to learn” has many meanings: acquire or gain knowledge or skills be a student of a certain subject commit to memory; learn by heart find out, learn, or determine with certainty, usually by making an inquiry or other effort Now, imagine you take the definitions above and somehow insert them into your relationship. I think it might look something like this: acquire or gain knowledge or skills about my spouse and our marriage be a student of my spouse and our marriage commit to memory; learn by heart my spouse and our marriage find out, learn, or determine with certainty, usually by making an inquiry or other effort of my spouse and about our marriage Since learning comes in the form of both first and second hand experience, you must ask your spouse what they need from you and then pursue the information and the skills like your lifetime depends on it. Commit to the labor of changing your behavior You’ve decided to pursue the information and the skills like your lifetime depends on it. Great! But now you’re starting to realize that this is work! Hard work. Labor. Well, one reason you feel this way is because you are beginning understand that a lifetime commitment is a labor of love. It’s laborious to go outside of your comfort zone and love someone they way they need to be loved. It takes work to shift your tone to kindness when anger is what you feel in the moment. You have to dig deep to show mercy when all you want to do is lash out. Make no mistake, implementing the skills you are learning takes real effort. But eventually, you’ll notice something. You’ll notice that you’re behavioral muscle is changing to suit your spouse’s needs. It’s no longer quite as hard to detect and shift your poor conduct as it used to be. So now, all you need to do is commit, and keep recommitting, for a lifetime. Don’t give up on your failing marriage. Take action starting with the above tips. Find as many ways as possible to connect with your spouse again – spiritually, emotionally, physically. You will need to realign your thinking in a way that might scare you. But once you commit, you will become a part of a different statistic. You will enter the realm of the 50 percent who decided to make the term “love for a lifetime,” actually mean something good and real. And now, when it comes to your marriage, failure will no longer be a part of your vocabulary. BMWK http://livelystones.com.ng/dont-give-uptips-to-help-you-turn-a-failing-marriage-around/
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| Family › Re: My Friend Is Desperate,willing To Die To Save Her Marriage,pls Help! by liquidlove2018(op): 8:02pm On Jan 30, 2018 |
Its lies right ? You may not really know what people are going through in their marriages this days. If you dont know about something ,stop spitting trash. For something not to have happened to you or someone you know does not make it lies. grow up. Its not by force to comment . babyfaceafrica: |
| Romance › Re: Cheating Gone Wrong: Adventures Of A Crazy Nigerian Wife by liquidlove2018: 7:57pm On Jan 30, 2018 |
I dont advice anyone to be hacking into one another phone or social media account. it will cause issues. its better each one stay on his lane. dloxvic666: |
| Family › Http://livelystones.com.ng/how-to-deal-with-someone-youre-just-not-interested-in by liquidlove2018(op): 11:15am On Jan 30, 2018 |
Good evening ma, I read with laughter at your post this morning about a girl that was trying to seduce her boss. I also laughed because I know most girls who think they have no man in their lives think going after married men is a norm. Imagine this mumu girl vowing to sleep with another woman’s husband and the mumu man already following her like a dog following fresh bone. You see,a few years ago,my husband decided he wanted to start fcking his secretary. I found out because I made arrangements with any Driver my husband employs to be my spy and let me know if anything is unusual. So when Yusuf gave me info that Doris,that skinny bitch was fcking my husband of almost 12 years. Someone I met when he didnt have shit,a man I suffered with,made unthinkable sacrifices for,I knew it was game time! I investigated this girl Doris. I found out that she was in a relationship with a someone in the US. This guy was actually her fiance. He had done introduction,so her family was involved. I traveled to the US to see this guy and told him what his girl was doing. Of course,I had pictures to prove my case. He was mad and was going to call her but I told him I had a plan.The plan was to actually pay this girl back in her own coin. So we agreed. I took pictures with her man. Just causal pictures. We put those pictures together with the pictures of Doris and my husband doing the nasty and I mailed them to Doris. I made sure it was hand delivered to her. The mail also had a note from her man in it saying that he was no longer interested in marrying her. We then packaged another set of pictures,this time of Doris and my husband,me and her fiancee and sent to Doris parents. The second package contained a note from the anonymous tip saying that if Doris does not stop seeing my husband,the pictures of her and my husband will be sent to all the blogs and released on social media. I eventually got some guys to visit Doris . Their job was just to make her feel the cold blade of a very sharp knife. They were not to touch her,just make sure she got the message. After all my plans above. I carried on with life very happy. Of course,all hell broke loose afterwards. My husband immediately http://livelystones.com.ng/4592-2/#comment-1415 |
| Romance › How To Deal With Someone You’re Just Not Interested In Dating by liquidlove2018(op): 9:42am On Jan 30, 2018 |
How to Deal With Someone You’re Just Not Interested in Dating Whether you’re not single or just not feeling it, there are valid reasons to pass on a date. Here’s how to handle it. For me, you and everyone else on this tiny ball of mass we call Earth. However, it’s also a part of life and something you can’t avoid, no matter which side of the fence you sit on Sometimes you’ll meet people you click instantly with. You’ll form bonds and friendships. Some leading to healthy relationships and others… not so healthy. Sometimes you’ll meet people you simply don’t want a future with, for a myriad of factors. They might call and text you in a manner which you don’t like. Ignore your personal space, and try to push themselves onto you. Or simply, drive you up the wall. But even after all this, for some reason, you always feel bad about letting them down, and you’re unsure why. You blame yourself for not being strong enough to tell them “no thanks,“ yet continue to let them wriggle their way into your life with advances you find apprehensive This article will teach you how to deal with men and women you’re not interested in, without feeling sorry for yourself. Don’t give any hints or lead them on to think that you may be interested. Some people won’t take “no” for an answer. Saying “sorry, but I’m not interested” isn’t good enough. Likewise, touting the popular phrase “sorry, but I have a boy/girlfriend” doesn’t imply anything. To some people you’re saying, “I want to be with you, but I can’t because I’m taken.” Others would be more than happy to compromise your personal space even if you’re taken; to them, it’s just someone else’s turn! It’s just a minor hurdle or challenge they must overcome. And if they’re the type to chase, they’ll go through any obstacle until you set the terms for good. People interpret what you say in many different ways. Most communication is non-verbal, so it’s not about what you’re saying to someone; it’s about how you’re saying it. You may feel like it’s not your problem that your unsuitable lover can’t get enough of you. However, you’ll be the one dealing with their gestures of unsolicited affection. This is even more important if you’re already in a relationship. Think about how he/she must feel about having someone else trying to pinch their partner from them. From my experience, most men and women aren’t concerned about the actions of the new love interest; they’re more concerned about how you handle them. If you fail to take heed of your partner’s concerns, this saga will have a detrimental impact on your relationship. Guaranteed. Are you making any of these behavioral mistakes? Constantly hanging out with them, whether in a group or alone setting. Replying to their texts in ways which could be seen as suggestive. Complimenting them on their aesthetics and personality traits. Relying solely on them for emotional support, knowing full well that whilst they care about you; they hope one day, you’ll see them as your savior/knight in shining armor and will fall in love with them. Reject them firmly, but fairly I’m a huge advocate of giving people a chance and treating everyone with respect, but there comes a time where you must lay the hammer down and give out a permanent rejection slip. Especially if their actions are having a negative effect on other aspects of your life. How you should reject someone depends on many factors; how much they mean to you, their approach, how much they respect you, and how you feel toward them. Here are two firm but fair ways to reject a love interest: 1) The good friend who has developed feelings for you “There won’t be a future between us. I respect all that you’ve done for me; however I don’t feel the same way as you do. I have no interest in having a relationship or otherwise with you. I can understand if you don’t want to be friends anymore. I’d just rather be honest than lie about the situation.” 2) The person who has very different values. “Look you’re a good person, but I don’t feel like we’re a match at all. We have vastly different goals, beliefs and values. It wouldn’t be fair to lead you on with the belief that my feelings my change, so I’m telling you now. You should go after someone else because I’m just not interested. I hope you respect my decision as I’ve respected yours.” As harsh as the above may sound, rejecting people and showing them how you truly feel is a far better approach at dealing with an unwanted love interest than giving them a sliver of hope that something could happen and ignoring the reality of the situation. http://livelystones.com.ng/how-to-deal-with-someone-youre-just-not-interested-in-dating/ |
| Romance › Must Read For Young Men:a Letter To My Sons About Women by liquidlove2018(op): 2:34pm On Jan 29, 2018 |
My Boys, Right now you are tiny. A girl is just another person to you, another friend to play with on the playground. You have neither hyperactive hormones, nor societal biases through which to view females. But one day, you will be faced with both those things, and I deeply hope that your father and I will have prepared you well for when the time comes. I hope that you know that women are your equals. I hope you believe with ever fiber of conviction within you that women deserve equal pay and opportunity in the workforce and equal respect and authority in the home. I pray that you never even subconsciously use your position of privilege as a male to succeed at the expense of a woman I want you boys to know that our society has a perverted understanding of gender. “Femaleness” does not equal physical fragility or a passion for cooking any more than “maleness” equals brute strength or enjoying hunting. We are fascinatingly complex creatures—we humans—and I dearly hope that you boys won’t put yourselves or anyone else inside a box that suffocates. Women differ in talents, strengths, weaknesses, personalities, and genetic makeup. There is no single definition of what it is to be a woman, and I hope you live as advocates for women to live fully as who they truly are. Whether you ever marry or not, I hope that you value your relationships with women. I hope that you read female authors, listen to female speakers, and consider thoughtfully the arguments of female friends. I hope you marvel at the female body, not simply because it’s beautiful, but because it is fascinating. I hope you are intrigued that they are in rhythm with the moon, that they carry and sustain life, that they nourish a newborn completely independently. I hope that you have so much respect for this that you would never try to separate a woman from her fertility, for it is part of her very essence. There may come a day when your body is overrun with signals that the girl standing before you (or in a photograph) was created solely for your pleasure. I want you to know in that moment that there is no cause to be ashamed of your biology, but that you do have the power to stop yourself from believing that lie. I hope you understand that your bodies are inexplicably tied to your souls, and so is that girl’s. You simply cannot try to remove body from soul without doing deep, deep damage to both yourself and her. I hope you remind yourselves that every girl you see is a whole person who deserves every human dignity she was created with. There also may come a day when you promise to love and serve one woman for the rest of your life, and she you. My hope is that through that physical union of body and soul, you will learn to love and be loved beyond your wildest dreams. I hope that you feel completely safe and known before her, and that she feels the same with you. I hope that your s*xual relationship gets better with time, as it’s meant to. I hope that your marriage bed will be a safe harbor where you can find shelter from the storms of the world outside. If you do marry, I hope you’ll remember your own father scrubbing toilets and washing dishes. I hope you will desire to share household labor with your wife, since you will be sharing the household with her. I hope you’ll be brave to defy gender stereotypes, and I hope you’ll have fun doing it. I am so proud of you boys. I can’t wait to see you as men. Love, Mama http://livelystones.com.ng/must-read-for-young-mena-letter-to-my-sons-about-women/ 1 Like 1 Share |
| Romance › Http://livelystones.com.ng/my-friend-is-desperatewilling-to-die-to-save-her-marr by liquidlove2018(op): 1:51pm On Jan 29, 2018 |
Hello Jzhane, I am quite unhappy about what am about to tell you. My friend,Karen is living in hell called marriage and I dont know what to do to help her. Karen married this Kogi man about five years ago. How they met,I am not sure but I was introduced to Mark just a few weeks before their wedding. I think the only thing I suspected was amiss was that it appeared that this man was not friendly. Well,that didnt bother me cos I had just met him. Anyways,Karen has been suffering since she married this man. Karen, a Teacher and Mark works as an Accountant in a company. This man is so stingy to the extent that he only gives karen only N7k as upkeep for the house for an entire month. Apparently,Karen became the major bread winner of the house. Thats not a problem if the man couldnt afford it but he could. According to Karen,her husband earns N450k a month!…so why he doesnt give her money for anything baffles her.Karen most times end up getting broke and borrowing before the end of the month. Kafen got pregnant a year and had a very difficult pregnancy. She eventually has a CS at the seventh month. During the CS,there was a complication that caused Karen’s cervix to split. The doctors had to stitch it up. About a year later,Karen tried to got pregnant again but because of the ..... http://livelystones.com.ng/my-friend-is-desperatewilling-to-die-to-save-her-marriagepls-help/
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| Family › My Friend Is Desperate,willing To Die To Save Her Marriage,pls Help! by liquidlove2018(op): 1:45pm On Jan 29, 2018 |
Hello Jzhane, I am quite unhappy about what am about to tell you. My friend,Karen is living in hell called marriage and I dont know what to do to help her. Karen married this Kogi man about five years ago. How they met,I am not sure but I was introduced to Mark just a few weeks before their wedding. I think the only thing I suspected was amiss was that it appeared that this man was not friendly. Well,that didnt bother me cos I had just met him. Anyways,Karen has been suffering since she married this man. Karen, a Teacher and Mark works as an Accountant in a company. This man is so stingy to the extent that he only gives karen only N7k as upkeep for the house for an entire month. Apparently,Karen became the major bread winner of the house. Thats not a problem if the man couldnt afford it but he could. According to Karen,her husband earns N450k a month!…so why he doesnt give her money for anything baffles her.Karen most times end up getting broke and borrowing before the end of the month. Kafen got pregnant a year and had a very difficult pregnancy. She eventually has a CS at the seventh month. During the CS,there was a complication that caused Karen’s cervix to split. The doctors had to stitch it up. About a year later,Karen tried to got pregnant again but because of the ..... http://livelystones.com.ng/my-friend-is-desperatewilling-to-die-to-save-her-marriagepls-help/
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| Family › Man’s Fiancee Caught Sleeping With Best Man,3 Weeks To Wedding by liquidlove2018(op): 6:48am On Jan 29, 2018 |
Everything was done and read; invitation cards sent out, hall booked before the man caught his fiancee of 5 years Just three weeks to walking down the aisle with his fiancee, a Nigerian man was heartbroken to stumble upon a dirty secret between his heartthrob and his best man. It was gathered that the man’s girlfriend of 5 years was sleeping with his best man. Here’s @Jenniieey’s tweets; What will u do if u find out ur fiance/fiancee is cheating on u with d bridesmaid/bestman 3 weeks to ur wedding?. My friend is devastated right now & totally confused,He gav me permission to post his story. He caught his fiancee wiv his best man(best friend) They’ve been dating for over 5yrs & got engaged last year and the wedding is suppose to happen in 3weeks.. He love this babe so much, he’s done stuff for her, he treated her like a Queen and respect her.. most times wen she comes around to his place His friends r around after work.. He introduced her to one of them who is his best friend years ago and not best man but I guess they went behind his back and took the introduction to another level.. although he said he was suspecting the closeness But he thought he was just paranoid and didn’t think a thing like that could happen between them..cos he trust both of them.. but for years they’ve been doing stuff behind his back..They all hang out, eat together and gist but nothing prepared him for this He traveled few days ago and was suppose to come back Thursday..but 4days ago, another friend called him to inform him that something is not right with his bride to be and his best man that he is only telling him cos he feels it’s d right thing to do My friend thought dis guy who told him stuff was just one of those bad Belle people who don’t want u to settle down..he kept thinkin about it but didn’t tell anyone.So yesterday he decided to leave Abuja for Lagos but didn’t tell anyone he had changed his plan He cancelled his travel from Thursday (4days from now) and brought it to yesterday..he arrived Lagos and went home straight but in mind he was praying that everything he heard was not true..he got home (his fiancee stays with him) and used his key He went straight to the bedroom and when he opened the door, http://livelystones.com.ng/mans-fiancee-caught-sleeping-with-best-man3-weeks-to-wedding/#comment-1403
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| Romance › Ways To Restore And Rejuvenate Your Marriage After An Affair by liquidlove2018(op): 6:23am On Jan 29, 2018 |
After the trust has been broken in your marriage, in order to really move forward with getting your relationship back on track, we have to talk about reestablishing trust. It’s the only way to restore and rejuvenate your relationship and get it to where it used to be and sometimes in even a greater place. In order to do that, we have to start from the very beginning. We do that by looking at the entire relationship and rebuild brick by brick, piece by piece. Sometimes this step can be very difficult. And trust is a necessary ingredient for your relationship, which is why we need to rebuild it. That’s why couple’s need to spend so much time on this particular area of reestablishing trust. We have to go back to beginning. Go Back to the Beginning What worked in the beginning? How did you both date? How did you both decide to get together? What did you like? What were you doing and what weren’t you doing? Some of the couples I’ve worked with think that because they’ve been together for a while, they should be able to quickly overcome broken trust, such as an affair, and move forward quickly. But when you break trust and have an affair, the trust goes right down to zero. And and as much as you don’t like it, it’s like starting over from day one. It’s like starting from ground zero. When you first met your spouse, you had to do all these things to allow them to feel like they could trust you, and that’s what you’re gonna have to do again. For some people, the struggle is that they want this to happen quickly. Most of us do, we want things to happen in a very fast way, we want things to move from step one to the last step. Trying to quit smoking, trying to lose weight, getting a new job, or even having a baby are things that we just want to happen quickly…but they don’t. The same thing is true with overcoming the impact of infidelity or broken trust in your marriage. Sometimes we want it to move quickly, and that’s usually the person that’s betrayed their spouse. I’ve also seen it with those who have been betrayed where they’re like, “When is this gonna stop?” “When is this gonna be over?” “When can we get back to being the way that we used to?” I want you to realize that it takes time. It’s not an overnight process. You didn’t trust each other overnight. Usually, there was a set of things that happened along the way that allowed you to feel safe enough to trust each other. I can’t give you a concrete time of how long it’s going to take to overcome infidelity, but what I’ve seen with the couples that I’ve worked with over the past 15 years, is that it takes about 9 to 12 months to heal. If I had to give you a ballpark (and this is not something that I’m saying is scientific, but more of what I’ve seen in my practice) then I would say that the first three months is rocky, it’s tough, it’s overwhelming, and that’s where we’re really trying to rebuild trust. Three to six months, you start to feel that some of the trust is really coming back and both people are in it, you start to have better times and they last a little bit longer. Six to nine months, you start to feel much better about the relationship and start to work through other things that might have been there. And then 9 to 12 months, you see yourself moving in a great direction where your relationship can actually be better than it ever was. How long does it take to overcome cheating and infidelity? I’ve seen people work to reestablish trust, make some clear decisions, and now they’re at a great place, they are really connected with each other and it is more of a “we against the world” instead of an “I versus you” situation. This why reestablishing trust is so important and it is the foundation of everything else that you are going to do in your marriage. And it is impossible to get your relationship to this place, this 9 to 12 month place that I’m talking about if you don’t take the time to reestablish trust. Don’t move quickly and don’t brush it off. Take your time by starting from the beginning and rebuilding. http://livelystones.com.ng/ways-restore-rejuvenate-marriage-affair/
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| Family › Re: Help,i Am Going Crazy,my Husband’s Ex Wife Is Using Juju… by liquidlove2018: 7:35pm On Jan 27, 2018 |
Dear woman, I think you made a very big mistake. You knew the man was married and you were secretly dating her out of desperation. The ex wife already has a kid for him. You don't expect her to leave her man. Nothing like juju here. 080jbabe: |
| Romance › Re: Help,i Am Going Crazy,my Husband’s Ex Wife Is Using Juju… by liquidlove2018(op): 7:32pm On Jan 27, 2018 |
I think it's the ladies fault. Desperation at work. You know someone is married and you are dating him secretly so he can leave his wife. It's kama at work. liquidlove2018: |
| Romance › Help,i Am Going Crazy,my Husband’s Ex Wife Is Using Juju… by liquidlove2018(op): 2:00pm On Jan 27, 2018*. Modified: 7:31pm On Jan 27, 2018 |
When I met Travis he was going through a very nasty divorce with his wife Stella. They had accused each other of every thing from being an abusive spouse to being cheats. Travis works for a real estate development firm that I consulted when I was looking for an apartment in Ikoyi. He was the agent assigned to me and soon as we were going out to check out apartments,we hit it off. Travis was surprised that a beautiful accomplished career woman like myself was already 40 and un married. well,long story short,I moved into my Apartment in Ikoyi after Travis helped me locate one. We became friends after that. He used to take me out alot on lunch and dinner dates. I was really attracted to this man whom I felt any woman would consider herself lucky to be with. According to Travis,marrying his wife was a mistake he made. He had met Stella through a mutual friend. They had a fling,she got pregnant and decided to get married just to save face. Travis didnt want to have a child out of wed lock and he felt the honorable thing to do was to make Stella his wife. Travis admits that the only good thing that came out of marrying Stella is their six year old daughter. From day one,they were both abusive to each other,they cheated..they just couldnt stay together. I started liking Travis in fact,I knew I was in love with him but I didnt want to commit to him knowing he was still married. About six months later,they concluded their divorce. Travis and I were now free to go public with our romance. while we were dating,I met Stella once. she had come to pick up their daughter from Travis. When she saw me,she looked at me with such scorn and was really unkind and rude in her behaviour to me. Well,I didnt blame her. she must have felt,I took her former husband and possibly going to be a step mom to her daughter soon. It was clear Stella and I were not going to go along. A year after me and Travis met,we got married and life was really beautiful. I was happy. All my years of unhappiness was finally over. I had a man for me. You see,I had suffered plenty heartbreak before Travis. Men just used and dumped me. I was thinking I was never going to get married. So getting married at 41 to someone who adored me was a dream come through. Soon as I got married,I took in a month later. I was so elated. I also enjoyed being a stepmom to Travis daughter who came to spend weekends with us. But my joy was short lived. Four months into my pregnancy,I had gone for a training in Abuja. The training was a three day training and I was supposed to be back in Lagos on Sunday evening. However,our training ended on Saturday evening and I decided to catch a very early morning flight to Lagos on Sunday morning to surprise my hubby. we had been in contact through out my trip and he kept telling me how much he missed me so much. I got into Lagos before 8am and I tried to sneak into the house as a way of my surprise. My house help was shocked to her skin to see me. She screamed and I actually taught it was out of happiness to see me, But no,she was in shock because when I got into my bedroom,Travis was in bed,sound asleep with Stella by his side,both of them,stark naked! I stood still until my legs couldnt carry me further and I collapsed. It was my house girl’s scream when I collapsed that woke Travis and his bitch. They both jumped when they saw me and tried to get dressed. I was dazed. I was dead for for moments. I didnt speak to Travis for almost two days. Stella didnt even say a word,she just dressed up and left. It was a very dark period for me especially with my condition. Travis kept apologizing saying he was sorry ,he got drunk,he was wrong,bla bla bla bla. As hard as it sounds. After a while,I had to move on. I tried to forgive Travis. I even asked him to stop Stella from setting foot into our house ever. Well, I thought we were going to be fine. After all the crying and begging and promising,we did try to move ob with our lives. My daughter Praise came into our lives shortly. I was so proud to be a mom,her mom. We so doted and loved this little gift from God and I was very grateful. But again,my joy was short lived. I started suspecting something was wrong because our s*x life was ... http://livelystones.com.ng/helpi-am-going-crazymy-husbands-ex-wife-is-using-juju/ |
| Romance › Re: The Affair Made Her Happy Again But I Cant Bear The Cost by liquidlove2018(op): 8:32am On Jan 27, 2018 |
This is why as men we have to be careful in advising married women who are being abused in marriage. Coz once you begin to genuinely render advice , if the lady is not careful, her emotions switch towards you coz you provided the love she has been denied of by another man. You settle quarrel between couple , couple go use you settle while you become the enemy. 080jbabe: |
| Romance › Re: See How I’m Training My Wife To Be Happy Most Times by liquidlove2018(op): 6:22pm On Jan 26, 2018 |
Wishing every married man can embrace this. liquidlove2018: |
| Celebrities › Mercy Aigbe Wants Another Baby, With Any Lucky Man (details) by liquidlove2018(op): 2:40pm On Jan 26, 2018 |
Nollywood actress cum business woman, Mercy Aigbe, who is a second time divorcée and mother of two is craving to have another child. This Edo state born movie star made this revelation through an Instagram comment section. The picture of a cute baby girl was posted and Ms Aigbe commented under it. It reads “Oh my ovaries…’I might just try for another baby girl.’ Please who wants to be the lucky man for Mercy’s baby  It would be recalled that last year, 2017, Mercy Aigbe left her husband’s house, Lanre Gentry, over domestic violence. The case is reportedly still in court, however, after 40th birthday celebration, they kinda reconciled. http://livelystones.com.ng/mercy-aigbe-wants-another-baby-lucky-man-details/ The former lovebirds sparked reconciliation rumours as she just followed him on Instagram after un-following him at the peak of their separation controversy last year.
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| Romance › See How I’m Training My Wife To Be Happy Most Times by liquidlove2018(op): 2:27pm On Jan 26, 2018 |
Cindy and I were married three-and-a-half years ago. Our companionship, intimacy, and love have deepened over that time, and we have developed an extremely stable foundation. This has been possible because we are both willing to grow and to change, and to take responsibility for our emotional reactions, which I wrote about in The Most Important Relationship Skill. I have been through many relationships, and in the process, I have learned what works and what doesn’t work. I have also come to understand how important my primary relationship is. When my relationship is going well, everything else in my life flourishes. When it’s going badly, everything else seems to fall apart. Having supported many couples, I believe that this is true for everyone. Our primary intimate relationship is a critical foundation for sustainable happiness and success. Selfishly, every day, I take action to deepen and strengthen our relationship. Here are some of the things I do: I spend quality time with her Every day, I specifically spend time with Cindy. We sit facing each other on our sofa and we maintain eye contact. I set a thirty-minute timer on my phone, and we dedicate this half-hour to talking about whatever needs to be expressed. Since we started doing this, I have seen massive improvements in our relationship. We’re more open and honest with each other and, unable to fester, issues get resolved quickly. I slow down I am a cognitive processor, and Cindy is an emotional processor. I am very quick, and Cindy is very slow. When Cindy and I were first together, I often got frustrated by how long it took her to answer my questions. Conversely, Cindy often did not trust my answers to her questions, because I gave them too quickly, without apparently feeling for my deeper answer. To be a genius usually means having unusual cognitive ability. I believe that Cindy is an emotional genius, having unusual emotional ability. She is able to build rapport extremely rapidly with almost anyone, even people who are very challenging to relate with. She can calm anyone, and she can quickly facilitate deep realization and change in others. I find myself increasingly in awe of her capabilities as I come to understand her more deeply. While her superb emotional sensitivity developed partly as an early survival mechanism, it can now also be seen as a superpower, and sometimes a burden. It took me a long time to understand and appreciate how slow and emotional Cindy is. From her, I have learned to slow down and appreciate the depth of experience available in every moment. She has taught me the value in saying and doing less and, because of this, my life has become much richer. I now value slowing down and discovering and validating the feelings I have about situations, so that I’m able to make more meaningful and effective choices in my life Because I can often now speak more slowly, say less, move more slowly, and do less, I am able to mirror her much more effectively than before. I am able to build rapport with her, so that the mammalian part of her brain—her limbic system—is able to recognize me as being a creature of like kind. This enables her to relax, and to finally take a break from trying to mirror me. When I get to mirror her slowness, it’s a gift for both her and for me. I validate her needs Every time I go on a long meditation retreat, one of the things I re-realize is how I don’t listen to Cindy with enough attention. On those meditation retreats, and sometimes when meditating at home, conversations with Cindy have replayed in my mind. In my slowed-down state, I have realized how important to me everything she says is. I have felt regret that I didn’t cherish her in those moments. Her words are not things to be brushed aside or ignored, or even just not fully witnessed. At those times, I remember, deep down, how much I value her words, her thoughts, her needs, and her feelings. I come back from Vipassana retreats with a renewed desire and intention to treat everything she says to me as critically important. I keep re-committing to behaving in a way that is congruent with these deep values. When she talks, I have learned to stop what I am doing and to listen as intently as possible. I have learned to cherish every utterance When Cindy mentions that she wants to go to a certain restaurant, or to have a particular experience with me, I now pause what I am doing and ask her more about it: what she likes about it, and what she would like from me. I have learned to be increasingly curious, as if I want to know every detail about her. The more I learn, the more I find that I want to learn. It’s like I’ve become obsessed with a hobby, like an ornithologist (a bird-watcher), except that Cindy is my birds. I am becoming the world-class expert on Cindy. The more I pay attention to and value what Cindy wants, and what she says, the more she seems to value those things herself. Since we have been together, she has become more vocal, more playful, and more free. Early in our relationship, she sometimes spent days lying in bed in a depressed sulk, often triggered by some perceived slight on my part. She never does that anymore. Now she often prances around our home, doing silly and adorable dances, singing funny songs, and saying funny things in a broad range of comedic voices. I give her positive messages One of Cindy’s primary love languages is words of appreciation. She experiences positive words from me as expressions of love and of confirmation of our connection. Sadly, when I first met Cindy, she found it very hard to hear words of appreciation; positive words made her feel angry. This was because she grew up in an environment of intergenerational abuse, having descended from refugees of the war in Vietnam. Growing up, Cindy was continually swamped with rhetorical questions poisoned with debasing presuppositions, such as (translated to English), “Why are you so ugly?”, ”Why are you so stupid?”, “Why are you so fat?”, “Why do you waste money?” (when spending money on herself), and “Why are you so lazy?” Early in our relationship, initially jokingly, I started countering this conditioning by delivering nourishing messages wrapped in this familiar package, such as, “Why are you so beautiful?”, “Why are you so smart?”, “Why are you so s*xy?”, “Why are you so wise with money?”, and “Why are you so capable?” As our relationship has progressed, after witnessing the positive effects of this, I have increased its frequency and intensity. I continually feed her positive, life-affirming messages, out loud and in person, whispered into her ear, and texted to her. I do this while she cooks, while she’s in the bath, and when she’s working. I whisper to her in this way as she’s falling asleep, while she’s sleeping, and as she wakes. I have witnessed her blossom. She increasingly believes that she is capable, that she is beautiful and s*xy, and that she is smart and wise. She tells herself these things, and she doesn’t allow herself to believe the old internal messages anymore. She can now receive and digest compliments, positive feedback, and constructive negative feedback. I touch her Cindy’s other main love language is touch. In her early years, she was not touched lovingly very much, and, as with words of appreciation, as a young adult she found it challenging to receive loving touch. Now, she responds extremely positively to my touch, cooing when I sneak up behind her, slip my arm around her belly and kiss the back of her neck. I love doing this of course, but being very goal-oriented and busy, in the past I did not do it often enough. Because I now know how powerful touch is for her, I have consciously trained myself to get in the habit of hugging and kissing her throughout the day. As a consequence, she has started to take better care of her body and her health. Now she is much more gentle with herself, and she advocates for her physical needs. Conclusion In a nutshell, I put my Cindy before anything else. I do this because when my primary relationship is solid, the rest of my life works well. It’s selfish, but in the deepest sense of the word. Ultimately, if Cindy was unable to give to herself what I have to offer, then my efforts would be wasted. Luckily, Cindy is willing to fully utilize everything I give to her in order to recover from, and integrate, her early life experiences. In return, I have a devoted and content partner who I greatly enjoy spending time with. http://livelystones.com.ng/see-how-im-training-my-wife-to-be-happy-most-times/ 1 Like
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