[quote author=Bokeeto post=128459837]

Do the following to be on a safe side,
1. Get a draft offer lf employment from the agent in collaboration with the said company
2. Contact the Finnish Immigration Service (Migri) to verify if the company name (if provided above) exist in the list of certified employers. This is regularly updated so please request for the current version.
3. Get in touch with the company itself through LinkedIn or some other methods, you may use another uncommon nomenclature to check their claims.

The feedback you get from the above should tell you whether to proceed or not. This process may be difficult due to the "nature" or methods of the agent anyways. Do what you have to do to secure your money.

Goodluck

I am really grateful to y'all for your responses, its soul lifting and very encouraging i must say. I am unable to respond to all the messages due to work an all that. I want to give responses to some of the doubts raised earlier. These issues have always been there from the little i remember just before my dad passed, of course i was just so little to understand the effects this would have later in life like i am currently experiencing. My sisters are well and alive, they are both married with children and far away, they have been doing the best they can but limitations exist. My mum isnt that old and lonely for the records, shes approaching 65 currently. I will always support her by the grace of God and thats why i am reaching out here to seek for help. This is not reporting her for people who see it that way, i just shared my experience from a place of deep pain.
@Ntipia and @jrusky thank you for your comments.
@gidjah, my sisters are far away and i was just around 7 or 8 when my dad passed.
@thinkmoney, God bless you sir, i will keep doing all i can as long as God gives me strenght.
@Praktikals, thank you so much, i pray you continue to get all the help you can and God be with you.
@oladitisd, i value my mum anyday and its out of the love i have for her that is making me do this. I am not baby at all and i am prepared for anything that comes my way. No one lives forever actually.
@layzie, you submission is right on this, its difficult to unlearn certain habits at this age, its a cross i must continue to carry.
@mariahAngel, my immediate sister and I continued living with our mum after our dad passed. The youngest had to go and live with our grannies cos she was just a baby. And yes she has been like this since i can remember, i have been running medication errands since i was in primary 3 or thereabout.
@churro, unfortunately for me you are right, i see no change here, but i will continue to support her always.
@We4all, you get the picture sir, i have lived with some of my mum's sibling and they r not in a position to tell her the actual right and they have never done so, all they do is seek for quick solutions whenever there is crisis and sometimes push the blames to my sisters and i. I cant really blame them as they have their own lives to attend to. Who would tell someone like my mum the truth? No one actually lest you become her enemy.
@Aditkd, maam we have been to the psychiatrist over and over again. Issues around hygiene and general well-being have been discussed extensively, she would nake promises to change for the better but your guess is good as mine. I appreciate your suggestions on therapy and i would look into it.

Just to mention that she attends her monthly checkup at the clinic, shes a retired nurse at that and her people give her priority whenever she comes. I dedicate time to drive her to clinic whenever its time. I practically go beyond the ordinary to satisfy her needs honestly and loneliness like some people said is not a factor, i see her from time to time cos my workstation is located in the same city with her. Even though i am tired, you folks have encouraged me to do more. Of course i have plans to relocate and secure a better future for my family and the more reason i want her to do basic things for herself so that my sge doesn't become too dependent on me. I am grateful to God for the strenght he provides me on a daily basis without this I wouldn't be able to do a thing.

I will respond to people who have sent me DMs. God bless you all

tommy589:
I thought I have seen it all. This is a new one

You did not say a word about your dad,I guess he is no longer in her life. Well,you are in for a long ride. She is not going to change and I think you already know that

I mentioned my dad passed when we were young.

Stevenbright:
At the moment she is leaving alone, which is not good for her type of person. Get her a matured house help. Someone who is kind, has her own family but need the work.

She should be well paid, she should become a friend and jist mate with your mom not just a house help.

With this, you will be able to take a break and breathe while focusing on yourself and family.

We are working on this sir, i appreciate your suggestion

buttlover:
Did any of your sibling died or ran away(the one she dearly loved) some oldies get annoying when reaching 60.

We are all alive and doing well by God's grace sir

Kobojunkie:
lordfemzy, you and your wife should sit down and write a good book about this mother of yours. Reading through your Op, I kept wondering if there could be more tory inside the tory.

This is just the story sir, as painful as it is i have nothing to hide

malcom1X:

Just give her grandchildren. People that can keep her company when you're not around.

My children are still young and unfortunately i cant guarantee their safety with her.

Thank you so much sir, several househelps have come in the past and more will still come. Just like you said they don't stay for long on the job. Whenever any new help comes on board, they just start work immediately, she doesn't set any rules or regulations, no boundaries and all that. Because of the free hand she gives to them, there is no clear distinction between employer and employee leading series of misunderstanding. Unfortunately she's unable to control these and can only complain. In most cases her actions also pisses off the help and this cycle continues until the help terminates the employment.

nairalanda1:
This is a serious matter indeed.

The major complication is her mental illness. The 'problem' with mental illness is that the sufferer has to first know that he or she is not well, which would enable them to take their medication properly..and most times many of them don't know they are sick...they think they are all right.

I don't have much advise to give you. I think you should get a househelp for her...but lord knows, that househelp is going to walk off the job in minutes because of your mother's issues.

Anyway, wiser heads should be able to give better advice. For now, I wish you God's strength and wisdom in this matter in triple portion.


P.S

this topic deserves front page please man.

Hello friends,

I am please asking for all the genuine help i can get right now to deal with an issue that has tormented me all the days of my life. I am open to criticism if it comes my way.

Situation: my mum (biological mother) is extremely lazy, lacks discipline, difficult to advice and very manipulative. However the laziness aspect is my main issue.

A brief history of myself, i am currently in my late 30s, firstborn and only male, with 2 sisters also in their 30s. I have been managing her case for the past 30 years since our father passed. I should mention that her mental health isn't that perfect and she suffers breakdown at least once a year whenever she misses her drugs. The nature of her breakdown is that she will keep on talking about most events from the past and view them in a negative way, she gets violent at times and uses foul words while cursing anyone who she thinks has wronged her. I pray non of us reading this will experience this in their families.

The chaos we experience whenever there is a breakdown is something i don't wish for my enemy at all, the effect is draining financially, emotionally and in various other ways you can think of. Infact looking back i owe God a lot of gratitude for the strength and courage he has given me and by extension my sisters in managing her very tricky situation. The shame, embarrassment, wasted time and efforts, lost opportunities that have come with her condition can only be imagined. I have had to sleep over at the hospitals various times whenever she's on admission running into weeks at times, i have had to represent the family at functions she was suppose to attend but due to ill health. I was lucky i didn't fail any of my last papers in Uni cos she was on admission, i missed a second class upper courtesy of my mums condition, the only 2 courses i ever failed in my 4 years at the Uni can be linked to her condition. I had to practically plan and organise a wedding for our last born cos she was on hospital bed. Some of her breakdowns happen whenever an occasion or celebration within the family is about to happen... my 21st birthday, final exams leading to graduation in uni, weeks to my wedding, weeks to her second born wedding, a whole month to our last born wedding, funeral of her mother in law, funerals of our grandparents, her own 60th birthday... the list is so long and at times i almost consider it spiritual but i am better informed.

In the last 2 years or thereabout i have been able to connect a few dots and patterns based on what i have experienced and seen. When my mum and her siblings (five) were being raised, the kind of family setup was such that cousins, distant cousins and relatives lived with them. This was because her late dad was a University lecturer, probably the 1st in his Hometown and granny was a primary school teacher, you know how it was in those days. I was able to understand that my mom and most of her siblings except one practically lived a life free of stress cos they had other relatives who were willing and at disposal to do major chores and take up responsibilities at home, they sort of lived a carefree life. I have stayed and lived a couple of times with these other siblings of my mum due to various reasons like holidays from boarding school, moving to another location for job opportunities etc.

I can practically tell from what i have seen with this people. All her life, things were being done for her and she's just free to do anything she wants apart from chores. Even her building project though her own money and sweat was an initiative of her late parents. They were practically her project manager and support system throughout their lifetime. Its a good thing to do but not setting limits and not being hard has it own detriments eventually, cos till date she's entirely reliant on anyone available to do even the simplest of chores. Let me quickly breakdown some of her acts and attitude which is very injurious to her own health.

1. The first on the list and perhaps the most annoying one is her laziness and OMG it reeks to the heavens. She avoids responsibilities and doesn't do house chores and generally procrastinates. My mum will use the toilet in her room and even living room and not flush properly on a constant basis. She does this even when she travels elsewhere. My mum can eat but cannot wash her plates and utensils, she will leave her plates in the living room for days or just anywhere, pots will pile up in the kitchen and will not be cleaned until every other option is exhausted and a new meal must be made. She will not lay her bed or change sheets constantly. She doesn't dress smartly and lacks good wardrobe management. She doesn't sweep, her corridor may not be touched in weeks same with other rooms in her apartment. Shes doesn't bother if she's unkept. Whenever she eases herself, due to her carefree attitude she will leave stained urine on her clothe and she will wear this throughout the day causing mayhem wherever she goes. Just add anything you can thing of as examples, you will find it with my mum. The annoying thing here is that if you advice her or suggest a change, she will rebuke you and tell you your are insulting her.

2. She's carefree and lacks good financial management. She earns well over 100K per month as pension and if we calculate her expenses per month she should have over 30 to 35k as savings. You can never account for how she spends her money! 10 days into a new month, the money is gone. Most times her friends abroad send her free money from and she will just squander the money on frivolities. She has a small shop that she runs, but for her to even stock the place sef na issue, she doesnt have a separate account for business and no stock is taken end of month or at least a quarter. We actually warned her against the line of business as its very common and the profit isn't much. We have practically considered her carelessness, carefree attitude and inability to keep things safe and warned against the shop idea. In the last 3 years she has lost 2 phones of high value. As if she likes to brag, whenever shes having discussion about money that is in her favour, maybe salary or someone abroad sends her money, she will begin to speak at the top of her voice such that an average person passing round can almost get full details. We have severally warned her against this but no luck at all. The consequence is that she has been defrauded a couple of times, you can act as a fake customer care agent of any bank and ask my mum for sensitive details like card number, password and she will give you immediately without a second thought despite the fact that she has been warned repeatedly. As a matter of fact she doesn't listen to her children's counsel or advice, but anybody from outside will give her advice and she ll make us of that one. She once told me off that i am not in any position to advice her that shes older than me and it should be the other way round. But when all the shit happens yours truly will be the one managing d situation.

3. She's manipulative. My mum is a master in this game and i am ashamed of her actions. I can't even mention some of the things she has done to my wife and I on this platform. She lies, deny incidences and things she has said. About her drugs, there is just one rule, do not skip any of morning or evening doses. Whenever she does she will never own up to you and when the effect is now seen, she will still try to cover up by saying she can't remember.

4. She's unforgiving. My mum is the last person you want to offend, even things that shouldn't be considered will be used against you when the time comes. For instance my mum may give someone raw food out of her own freewill or maybe the person asked for it, but months from that time the story can change that the person is the one stealing raw food or looting her house.

I apologise this is a long read and i can't even explain a quarter of what is going on at the moment, but the summary is that her laziness and lack of motivation is driving me nuts, i always have to bear and manage the consequences whenever shit happens. Its not easy for me cos i have my own family to manage and the responsibility is killing. Currently her househelp resigned 2 months back and the house has been a mess since then, she does practically nothing. I have been attending a workshop for the last one week and heard she's been feeding on puff puff and cornflakes every other day without making stew or soup and eating real food. This is a woman that money on her, even if you are lazy to cook, why not indulge yourself and patronise eateries till you have motivation to enter kitchen. Why not even make an arrangement for someone to come cook food for you everyday amd pay the person weekly or daily. We have to think for her and suggest things that require no initiative in most cases. I had to go and buy beef and made blended stew for her last weekend for example to motivate her amd assist like i always do. When i got back the following weekend, the stew wasn't even half used and there was mould on it indicating that she never cooked a serious meal, she was probably buying bread and removing the meat until it finished and lost interest in even heating the stew to warm.

Its more like if i don't do things for her, she will make herself fall into a state where she will enter deep sickness or starvation or depression such that people will see me as a bad person if anything sould happen to her. Already she has created that impression and she's living the lifestyle. Its been two weeks she's has remained indoors for no reason, no opening of shop, no cooking, no cleaning, no laundry, no strolling out and always expecting unknown help from anywhere it comes from. I have told her to pick herself up that help is something we must give ourselves. I have to go out to work daily not sitting down to baby sit my mum who is not an invalid. Her body is complete with no defects but i can't just help her laziness and attitude anylonger, its choking for me and i can't take ot anymore or do more than i have been doing. I have literally carried this woman for the most productive part of my life and done nothing wrong just loving my mother unconditionally. I have come to a point where i have to move on and break some unnecessary connections for my sanity and future of myself amd immediate family.

Please help and advice me guys on what to do. When she not in good health mentally na wahala and serious commotion and when shes stable, i have to battle with laziness, constant manipulations, carefree lifestyle, lack of discipline and vision and lots more. I have endured these cycle for too long. Also note that my sisters are married and are not even available at all, one is overseas and the other in a faraway state. I may not have touched some areas cos the issue too plenty but if questions are asked i would digress into it and share details truthfully. God bless

Moderator Sir/Ma, i beg you to help me push this to front page. I am not feeling good at all. Thanks

God be praised

@silentvoice, keep calm and worry yourself less. Its simply ingrown hairs that you have. Simply change your pattern of shaving and don't shave all the hairs when you need to, reduce the frequency of shaving as well. For the irritation, stop picking on it with your hands. Get a dermatologist to recommend a good cream for you for just a little while. Watch YouTube videos and you ll be fine

No values, just for the stomach.

https://share.socialrebel.co/austen

Trigger happy fellow causing sadness up and down

https://share.socialrebel.co/austen

Adorable

https://share.socialrebel.co/austen

tesolmake:
If you are conversant with either of Lagos, Ekiti, Oyo State routes and terrain, please send in your CV to the mail below.

tesolmake@gmail.com

Note: It's not a corporate no job. It's purely a street hustle.

Can you please do well to list the job details and requirements? This will carve out a target audience for the supposed job offer. Sending of CVs shouldn't be the 1st criteria for applying to a job without details. Let's be professional in our approach. Thanks for the offer though.

@ikoroduarea, you don't owe dem folks any shit. Infact no need to block their lines, simply ignore requests and move on, with time they ll get the drift and find a new maga. Invest on urself and buy assets that ll yield for you later on cos you don't know what tomorrow holds. I am very familiar with these kind of attitudes and it doesnt help the giver on the long run. Yea country is hard but we are surviving, I also have cousins littered all over UK and Canada and I don't ask for any favours from anyone. Life is difficult for everyone in several ways just that some environments are better off. Focus on urself going forward and give with sense. Cheers

GAZZUZZ:


Original timing belts cost as much as ₦30,000

No probs i ll get in touch

GAZZUZZ:


What are they

Sir, the water pump, oil pump and the lower crankshaft pulley.

Sir Gazzuzz, the timing belt for my camry 2000 cuts frequently these days, a lot of components have been changed yet issues persist. I have requested for the original timing belt on the request thread. I really want to get a thorough solution to this. Far from lag, else would have visited ur w/shop. Please can you share your thoughts.Thanks

Hello @Gazzuzz, please I will need OEM timing belt for Toyota Camry 2000 model. The one that came with the car cut like a year ago and it's been hell since then. Please sir what's the cost? Thanks

I swear when Buhari hears or reads this news...... He will be shocked beyond doubt!

@TPound, definitely bookmarking this page and ur contact. Please can I have an idea of the prices for Neatly Used Camry 2004 & 2005? Thanks

IAmSkinny:




Ok
I will check it out

.

.
*******modified*******
Somewhere in Lagos, can you guess?

... Osborne Foreshore Estate Road, inwards Ikoyi.

Nice work by the way, you are good at this

figur:
I can't pay with my Gtb master card, it say it can't process my transaction, anyone experiencing this?

Fund ur current account if you have and pay via internet banking, the issue of dollar will not even come into play as the process is quite seamless and straightforward! I did mine same way

bellong:
@lordfemzy,

Market research analyst and marketing specialist are currently sponsored by Northern territory. Going by the available information, it takes at least 9 months for NT to consider an application for sponsorship.
If you are willing to wait that long, you can give it a trial knowing that your only possible option is NT.

Think about it


@Azy123,

He that waters shall be watered. It is your turn to be watered.

Godspeed and goodspeed bro.

Sir bellong, thank you very much. Valuable response.

Elders, please help, na kneel i knee down

lordfemzy:
been reading as an anonymous guest for long and the information here is simply priceless. thanks to the op @bellong and other contributors, y'all doing a great job. please my request, i need people who have scaled vetassess to help me out, i have 3 years+ work experience as market research analyst/marketing specialist with a Telecomms coy which i plan to go with and I also have a Bsc degree in Agriculture (5years duration). please what are my chances based on what i saw on their website, see below;

Qualification(s) assessed at AQF Bachelor degree or higher degree
with a highly relevant field of study
and at least one year of post-qualification highly relevant employment at an appropriate skill level completed in the last five years;
OR
Qualification(s) assessed at AQF Bachelor degree or higher degree
with an additional qualification at least Australian Qualifications Framework (AQF) Diploma level in a highly relevant field of study
and at least two years of post qualification highly relevant employment at an appropriate skill level completed in the last five years;
OR
Qualification(s) assessed at AQF Bachelor degree or higher degree
without a highly relevant field of study and at least three years of post-qualification highly relevant employment at an appropriate skill level completed in the last five years;

please i need you gurus to break it down for me in a layman's language. thanks

cc; bellong,mrssam, mctowe01,tyosho,bnimz et all

thanks Bro, any idea if my work experience would count?

DoDirtsLikeWorm:


Agric and Civil is the new Oyel...strike before they slows the movement.