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Estharfabian:
Sexually dressed?? I seriously do not get...Like she was wearing A bikini or sth??

she wore a tan top without bra and a bum shot

I paid my sister's fiancé a courtesy visit early this morning but to my greatest surprise I met a sexually dressed Lady in his house.
I stylishly asked him about her and he laughed and said she was an old school friend.
Nairalanders, please help me, should I tell me sister or remain quite.

Was she paid to unveil her baby as her Little Christmas Teddy Bear?

After the horrible incident that occurred last night at the University of Nigeria, Nusukka's Hostel, A student shared a photo on instagram on how her hostel was burnt. #sad

Re: https://www.nairaland.com/2785443/cadet-corps-beat-student-death-aaua

The Dean of Students’ Affairs Dr Bolanle Ogungbamila has released a statement on behalf of the management Banning all Paramilitary Organizations on Campus till further notice.
Some of the paramilitary organizations on campus
includes Cadet Corps, ManOWar, CHESC, Road
Safety, Red Cross etc
Their base are expected to remain locked till further
notice.

In view of the recent activities of Paramilitary Organizations that led to the attack and unfortunate
loss of a student outside the campus, all the activities of paramilitary has been suspended.

The perpetrators of this evil and wicked act have been arrested and taken away by the law enforcement agents to face the wrath of the law.

Meanwhile, a 3-man Investigation Panel has been constituted to look into the matter and submit its Report to the Vice Chancellor within two (2) weeks.
- Bamidele Olotu,
Registrar
Announcer

https://aauaamebo./2015/12/07/aaua-management-bans-all-paramilitary-organizations-in-aaua-till-further-notice/

Re: https://www.nairaland.com/2785443/cadet-corps-beat-student-death-aaua

The Dean of Students’ Affairs Dr Bolanle Ogungbamila has released a statement on behalf of the management Banning all Paramilitary Organizations on Campus till further notice.
Some of the paramilitary organizations on campus
includes Cadet Corps, ManOWar, CHESC, Road
Safety, Red Cross etc
Their base are expected to remain locked till further
notice.

In view of the recent activities of Paramilitary Organizations that led to the attack and unfortunate
loss of a student outside the campus, all the activities of paramilitary has been suspended.

The perpetrators of this evil and wicked act have been arrested and taken away by the law enforcement agents to face the wrath of the law.

Meanwhile, a 3-man Investigation Panel has been constituted to look into the matter and submit its Report to the Vice Chancellor within two (2) weeks.
- Bamidele Olotu,
Registrar
Announcer

https://aauaamebo./2015/12/07/aaua-management-bans-all-paramilitary-organizations-in-aaua-till-further-notice/

People say it every time! I wanna settle down. She has finally settled down, When will your sister settle down? ...bla bla bla. ARE SINGLES ROAMING ABOUT?
I mean both literarily and metaphorically? There are married men out there who are serial cheats and married women who can't do with just one man, can we say such people settled down just because they have a ring in their fingers?
what do you call a single guy practicing abstinence?
Who coined that phrase settle down?

Which is the correct way of putting on a wrist watch, the left hand or the right hand?...

A 50-year-old prisoner has won a $750,000
settlement from Manhattan Detention Center after
officials and doctors ignored an erection he suffered which lasted around six days.

Rodney Cotton was taking the anti-psychotic drug,
Risperdal, when the bizarre erection began. When he complained, prison officials just gave him an ice-pack and Tylenol to take care of himself. Rather than help his condition, the items worsened it. It wasn’t until he saw a third doctor that he received the care he needed, according to Huffington Post.

Just like the story of creation, his penis finally rested
on the seventh day but Cotton successfully claimed in court that as a result of the prison’s negligence, he now suffers from permanent damage and “loss of function” in his Instruments.
“They took my manhood,” he said. “It’s embarrassing.

We’re here to create. I can’t perform my duties as a
man anymore.” The judge awarded him the huge
amount as compensation for his troubles.

SOURCE:
http://www.punchng.com/feature/weird-planet/man-wins-750-000-in-damages-after-prison-ignored-his-6-day-erection/

One dog enthusiast is so devoted to her pets that she has spent £60,000 pampering them and even
throwing a huge wedding ceremony for two of them.

Emmie Stevens, 27, from Croydon, South London, is
obsessed with dressing up her pets and even calls
them her children. Over the past seven years she has spent thousands of pounds on a walk in wardrobe, buggies; dog shows, grooming parlours, beauty products, diamante collars and food and vet bills for her twelve dogs.

But last week she took her hobby a step further by
getting two of her canines to tie the knot, which
included outfits for the whole pack, a reception and
even a first dance.

Emmie, a self-employed dog groomer said: ‘I love
dressing up my dogs and pampering them, that’s why I decided to perform a doggy wedding. Two of my dogs, Staffordshire bull terrier Bailey, and shih-tzu Coco, fell in love at first sight and have been
inseparable since. I performed the ceremony for
them, they said their doggy vows and we used a ring for Coco it was a fantastic day. They were dressed in the full attire, accompanied by their best men and bridesmaids.

‘Afterwards they went to their reception where they
were greeted by 30 poochy pals and enjoyed their
buffet banquet, wedding cake and first dance,’ she
said.

Emmie, according to Daily Mail, UK, says she thinks
nothing of the extravagance because her dogs are
the most important thing in her life.
“I know people think I’m mad but my dogs are like my children, I call them my fur babies and I would do anything for them.”

SOURCE:
http://www.punchng.com/feature/weird-planet/woman-spends-60-000-on-dogs-wedding/

Weddings are a chance to show the world your love
in a totally unique way but one couple has taken their individuality to the extreme.

Jenny Tay, 29, and Darren Cheng, 30, who both work
as undertakers and are preparing for their big day,
say that the concept of death is as important to them as ever, even when it comes to saying ‘I do’.
Jenny, who is a Buddhist, told the Straits Times:
“When couples take wedding pictures, many of them think of something significant and meaningful to them – their favourite cafe, the place where they first met. Both of us are very passionate about our jobs, so I thought, why not?”

The images were snapped in a park in Punggol,
Singapore – one of many unusual shoots to have
been organised by newly-married couples in recent
times.

Jenny and her husband were keen for it to be “pretty
and whimsical” so they eschewed the idea of setting
it in a graveyard.

Darren has even written a children’s book about
death, Where Did Grandpa Go, because it is part of
life. The happy couple got photographer Joel Lim on
board, and he was happy to be involved in the
concept.

Source:
www.punchng.com/feature/weird-planet/couple-snaps-wedding-photographs-in-a-coffin/

The son of a Chinese billionaire stunned many across the world recently when he hired an entire 5-star hotel just to give his favourite pet, a sea lion, a
memorable birthday celebration.

The sea lion was given the entire premises of the
popular Ocean Spring Hotel, in coastal Qingdao City
for his special day. Stunned employees at the
expensive resort could not help but snap and record the remarkable event on their mobile phones.

The unidentified pet owner, reported to be within 30
years old, even arranged for kitchen staff to prepare
a giant feast for the animal. He was pictured feeding
his pet delicacies from a tray of sausage and
vegetable, as a delighted chef looks on, according to
odditycentral.com. Later, the sea lion took a dip into
the pool where it bathed for hours.

Source:
www.punchng.com/feature/weird-planet/man-rents-entire-5-star-hotel-as-birthday-treat-for-his-pet/

1. You see identical twins, you still dey ask ‘na twins be dis’?
No bros, na picmix…lol

2. Nepa brings light and everyone in the neighborhood shouts’up Nepaaa’! My guy ask me,
O boy na light be that?
No oh, Na Holy Ghost fire! Lol!

3. You see person dey vomit, you still dey ask am ‘you no well’?
Em well, e juz dey practice how to vomit…

4. Someone sees you dancing and asks u ‘so you
sabi dance?’
No oh, I dey practice madness ni! *Lmfao*.

5.You just wake up from sleep person come ask
you “you don wake?”
No oh, I come buy bread wey I chop for dream..

6. You see woman wey born new pikin u ask her
“madam u don born? ” No ohhhh, she buy am for
Olx…

7. I travelled for over six days….as I just return back to town one boy ask me “are u back”
” No ohhhh, I’m front”… lol

8. You greet person “good morning ma” ! She ask, my pickin you don wake?
no ohhhh, I dey sleep walk…

9. You call ur ex, nd she asked “did u jus call my
phone?
No ohhh “na ur battery I call… Lol…

10. My guy ask me “O boy where u dey?” I tell am
say i dey bank, nd him ask me “Wat is happening
there?”
I go uproot cassava… *Lmfao*

11. My neighbour sees me opening the gates to
drive out and asks me, U dey comot?
Not at all… I be the new gateman…

12. I dey watch film… my guy enta come ask me
“Guy na film u dey watch?
No naa… I dey discuss with Osuofia…

13. My guy see me, and he foolishly ask me “guy
na you be that?”
no ohh… Na my Grand father when him been
young. *Lmfao*

14. A game freak was passionately tapping his
PSP nd his girlfriend asked him, “U dey play
game?”
Him reply wit anger… No ohhh, I dey practice
how 2 press bobby.

15. I mistakely cut my thumb wit razor n my frnd
asks… Y u come cut ursef na? I reply am say “my
blood too much, I wan reduce am small…” IDIOT!

16. I dey quarrel with my brother one day, him
come ask me, “Na me u dey talk to”
I say nooo, I dey talk to the spirit of our great
grand parents.

17. I plug my fone charger for socket one IDIOT
asked me u wan charge ur phone?
I tell am no ohhh, I wan charge my mind! ode…

18. I was watching football nd a friend came and
said “guy u dey watch ball”
No ohhh, I won pay their salary…

19. U see me dey chop indomie come dey ask me,
O boy, na indomie u dey chop so?
No ohhhh… Na fried rubber band mixed with
thread….

20. U see say gen dey on nd u still dey ask “una
on Gen”?
No oh
hhh , na Gen on us.


As it stands now, abeg i need to ask u one question.
No vex abeg, did u read diz msg?

Equalizer:
Please remind me the name of that your primary school..

Have u forgotten I was ur class captain frm pry1-6 or ur brain is in auto-format

Equalizer:
What's the difference between Leader and Ruler?

I dnt kno wat a leader is but A ruler is an instrument used in drawing straight line

They gave us result from the North with a very wide margin and figure above 2M.
And I asked myself, what exactly has Boko Haram been killing

survival of the fittest

.

Can u imagine i stored my girlfriend’s number with
her name on my phone o. This morning, I decided
to call and check on her to know how she is doing.

As I scrolled to her number and called, a voice said;
you have insufficient credit to make this call, please
recharge and try again. I checked my account
balance to confirm this, it was true, so, I borrowed
my neighbour’s phone to make this call.

This neighbour of mine is my close pal o. Someone
that we played with pant in the streets together
when we were growing up. Very reliable guy-man
he is.

As I dialed my girlfriend’s number on his phone, do
you know what appeared on the screen? ”MY LOVE”.
I started wondering; how did the phone know that
the owner of the number is my lover? When I asked
my friend how the phone knows that the owner of
that number is my love,
my friend told me that this is what all this new
phones do nowadays o!.
So technology has gotten to this level? Chai.! White
people are really trying o! We are really moving
forward oh…technology, thank you ohhhhh!

I trust buhari... AIT won't go unpunished

Ok

I tot u said white woman... That woman is not white but pinky red.
Op dnt u kno a white colour again?

Let this election come nd go sef.. Am tired of all this APC dis, PDP dat.

Wait*** who is Fani-Kayode

If na Dangote pikin I go agree ooo.
If na only pant and bra sef, I no mind.

See that part were baba knelt down... Under his shoe is like he has never stepped the ground before, compare to under my own shoe ... Money good ooo