₦airaland Forum

pocohantas:
My point exactly. Kids do not look like their mums. Two people contributed to form a child and all the kids should look like only one person _the man. It is important he tests for this reason that the child looks like his mother.

Well no one controls how a child looks like, but an element should be there at least one from each parent.


No one is talking about the second son or this new born, but the first because they have convinceable elements of resemblance with the dad.

Why would the first one be completely different?

If I were to speculate further I would say she had a last goodbye "farewell" sex with her ex, but that would be too bold an accusation for someone I don't know before.

pocohantas:
It is on Nairaland I got to find out that every child looks like the father in face and actions. As in, if you born 5, all of them would be carbon copy of the man. None would take looks from the wife's gene pool (her, her dad, her mother, even great grand aunty). Everybody would look like the mannnnn! All of you guys on NL, none of your siblings look like your mum.

Please tell him to do DNA.
If he cannot afford it, support him financially.
We need more DNA crusaders like you before paternity scam reaches an all-time high.

I get the point you are coming from, but wouldn't it be better he confirms now that the children is still young?

Remember, hose that later found out never thought about the possibilities until it happened.

At least one single stuff to use, be it physical appearance or behavior or so

Carazon:
You can tell him to do a DNA test only if you will be the one to pay the bill or support with half of the money otherwise mind your business.

The money won't be the problem because it's something he can easily afford.

But what if, what if my speculation turn out wrong.

It would surely ruin our relationship, he might even open up to his wife about it and I would be seen as the devil.


But if if I take the bold move and he does the test and it confirm my speculations, I've saved a lineage.

I think I would risk it

dawnomike:
All I can say is that people must learn to mind their own business... Especially, when no help is been sought.

I've given this a thought because it's not like I have evidence, not I I saw his wife with anyone or so.

But what if tomorrow it's my turn and a friend decides to look away.

Besides, my conscience is troubling me

We had this yellow pawpaw Secondary school course mate, so reserved and cool, the type that doesn't do social media.


Now, After secondary school they relocated to another state and we due to one thing or the other, we lost contact. Back then no smartphones like today, so we couldn't connect.



About 5 years ago I heard he's getting married and thankfully got his contact and we reconnected, but weren't getting in touch like back then in secondary school (Responsibilities choke).


Fast-forward to early this year I visited his state for some kind of outside work and would frequently visit him and stay a bit with his family.


At that time his wife was heavily pregnant and would soon put to bed for his 3rd child.

But something seems off. When I first visited Thier home, his second child a little boy of about 2 years old was the first I noticed and he was exactly carbon copy of his dad that I immediately called him Junior.


But the first one was inside and reluctantly came out. When he finally did I thought he was a sisters son or so because he looked completely like the mom, dark in complexion like her and similar facial features, but no single resemblance with the dad, fair in complexion.

I quickly shrugged it off, saying this one looks like his mom o, he should've been born a female, and we all laughed.


After my stay in the town I went back to base and we kept in touch.

Not so long after that I later got to know through WhatsApp chat that his wife has put to bed, and I congratulated them.


Now this August that just ended I visited the state again and used that opportunity to visit him.

Just few months since my last visit but the kids have grown quickly like it's been ages.

The second son now looked more like the dad, but the first one still no sign, face, voice, hair, character or anything.

No similar point to hold that this is how he takes after the dad.


Now I wouldn't conclude, because it would be a serious allegation without evidence.

The new one they just gave birth to looks like the dad even though he's not up to 6 months up (maybe?)


What struck me was that his mom was with them and when that first one did something wrong she scolded him and said something like look at you, you don't behave like your dad at all. She was seriously comparing him to the younger one that was all like his dad from looks to behaviors.


Now I've been brushing aside all the DNA test drama online, feeling that they want to create content or market their products, but this guy's case is troubling me.

Should I tell him to make investigations about her exes or he should do DNA test to find out now that he's still young?


My conscience is troubling me because I can't just keep shut.

I even had a dream where he was pleading to me to help, but I was unsure how to.

I've been hearing that when children are little, like when they just give birth to them they might not be looking like the dad, until they start growing.

But this guy's case is different. The second son looks like the dad in behaviors and facially, hair line and all, and the third one now too, except for the first.


I'm troubled, I don't want to be the bad guy that ends their marriage or put asunder, but still yet my conscience would not let me rest pushing me to save his lineage.

And let's I forgot, he's the second son of his parents, the first one hasn't married yet and it seems he's not interested as he is in his mid forties.

And the wife is all these TikTok type of girls, a bit flashy that you won't immediately know she's married when you first come across her.

How do I tell him my concerns without coming off as rude or intrusive or trouble starter?

What if he does the test and the boy turns out his, how would I face him?

marsup:
Drink Coconut water.
Intentionally not mistakenly.

Coconut water? Elaborate more

DuttyChuks:
The makers of green tea do add a certain amount of caffeine in it. Your doing well with the moringa leaves because it was pure natural with no caffeine. Stop using the green tea and see if everything will be alright. I pray you get well.

Thanks, I'll never near green tea again

acmev2:
Like MTN. This truly is off for me. Mistakenly used 19 times.

After I recover from this I pray no more mistakes again

nlfpmod:
Lol
Mistakenly Mistakenly Mistakenly full everywhere 😂

I should have mistakenly remove the mistakenly

Thereedemer:
Wait are you trying to say that moringa cures insomnia when treated like tea...
I get like 3 tree in my farm my man. I'll give you one for free

Yes Sir, moringa is really powerful. The downside is that it could lead to low blood sugar and running stomach when taken too much.

I boil the leaves with water and sieve, then use the water for tea...

Thanks for your offer. How can I get it

Oga no be everyone dey use AI. AI would have even written it perfectly without the repetitions, it's just using the right prompt.

For your AI solution, I want practical Nigerian solution that's why I came to nairaland.

joinnow:
AI Therapist
The word “mistake” or “mistakenly” appeared a total of 19 times in your story.

Now, to help you restore your focus, peaceful sleep, and "steeze" naturally without using addictive substances, here are some quick, natural countermeasures:

🌿 1. Stop the Green Tea Moringa Immediately

Green tea contains caffeine, which is likely what caused:

Hyper-awareness

Irritability

Restlessness

Sleep loss


Just drop it — no weaning needed since you didn’t use it long-term.

🌙 2. Restore Your Sleep Naturally

Use non-addictive habits to reset your sleep rhythm:

Night herbal teas: Try chamomile, lemon balm, or rooibos (they don’t overstimulate).

Warm bath or foot soak before bed.

Magnesium-rich foods (e.g., spinach, pumpkin seeds, beans).

Sleep in a dark, quiet room or use earplugs/white noise app.

🧘🏾‍♂️ 3. Grounding Techniques for Focus

You want focus without hyper-alertness. Try:

Box breathing (4 seconds in – hold 4 – out 4 – hold 4).

Do 1 task at a time with background sounds that don’t trigger you (like rain or classical music).

Try morning sunlight exposure (10–15 minutes) — this balances your circadian rhythm and dopamine naturally.

🥬 4. Go Back to Pure Moringa

You can buy:

Dried moringa leaves

Or moringa powder (from organic/verified sources)


Just steep it as tea (without green tea), or even sprinkle in pap, smoothie, or soups.

🍲 5. Eat Balanced Meals

Avoid caffeine or sugar on an empty stomach. Eat:

Complex carbs: sweet potatoes, oats

Protein: eggs, beans, fish

Healthy fats: avocado, groundnut, coconut oil


They help your brain balance energy and restore your "steeze."


---

Below is a 1-week natural reset plan to help you fully get back your calm and focus


1-Week Natural Reset Plan
Daily Routine (Follow Every Day)
6:30 AM - Sunlight Walk (10-15 mins): Barefoot if possible. Helps reset dopamine & sleep-wake cycle.
7:00 AM - Breathing + Gratitude (10 mins): 4-4-4-4 breathing + say 3 things you're grateful for.
7:30 AM - Breakfast (No Sugar, No Caffeine): Oats, pap, beans, yam or rice + protein. Add pure moringa.
10:00 AM - Focus Work (60 mins): Work on one task. Use background rain or ambient sounds.
12:30 PM - Lunch (Balanced): E.g., efo riro + rice, okro soup + swallow, unripe plantain + egg.
2:00 PM - Power Rest or Stretch (15-30 mins): Nap or move gently.
5:30 PM - Shower or Foot Soak: Warm water relaxes nerves.
6:30 PM - Night Tea (No Caffeine): Use lemon balm, zobo, or chamomile.
8:00 PM - Calm Activity: Low-light reading, journaling or prayers.
9:30 PM - Sleep Ritual: Quiet room. Deep breathing. No screens.
Supportive Foods & Herbs
For Focus: Pure moringa, avocado, groundnut, eggs, oats, moi moi.
For Sleep: Zobo (warm), lemon balm, chamomile, unripe banana (night), scent leaf.
Avoid: Green/black tea, energy drinks, sugar on an empty stomach, loud music, late phone use.
Optional Theme Days
Monday - Calm Breathing & Reset
Tuesday - Focus on 1 Big Task
Wednesday - Body Movement (Stretch or Walk)
Thursday - Journal Your Thoughts
Friday - Declutter Something Small
Saturday - Digital Detox (3 hrs no phone)
Sunday - Worship, Nature, and Gratitude
Bonus: Sleep & Steeze Tea (Local Herb Blend)

Exceed15:
The "mistakenly" you keep using is a big turn off for me

Don't mistakenly turn off your phone o. It might not turn on again

Mariangeles:
Water then. Plenty of it.

It'll detoxify your system, then you'll pass it out.

Water to detox? What about vital nutrients it scrapped... Will water bring them back. That's my major concern

Phabulous4:
It shouldn't be the same, also green tea shouldn't give you such effect and they should also never be addictive.

Soo, ejo lowo ninu.

Like seriously.... Why my case come different as if it's something else.
..

9jaBloke:
I mistakenly continued scrolling after the first few lines

What's your suggestions? How do I overcome this quickly

csamii:
This one don mistakenly drink weed in the name of tea.

Them dey put weed for green tea?


I buy am from supermarket no be for roadside o

Rexymania:
I mistakingly read you post
I mistakingly forgot to laugh 😒😒

No do mistake like me, you might throw away your phone and you might not be online to narrate it,

Phabulous4:
What you’re drinking is colos! Nobody can tell me otherwise. Especially the way you described the noise and sound. The only surprise is that you haven’t started talking to yourself yet. I know you omitted that part, ’cause from your write-up… you’re already online. 😅

No loud am o...

Thanks God I didn't enter street, because it was just too much...


That's why I'm here if solutions could arise.

If I may ask, does green tea has same effect as colos?

carl90:
I choose not to comment on this post .
But I mistakenly did .

Come o...

Mistakenly provide possible solutions or hints to deal with This issue

sisqodean09:
How can only you make mistake about 17 times?
.
.
.
.
.
Not enough original content
Please take a moment to write a quality post with at least 40 characters.

The thing shock me o...

Nearly for me to make an at extra mistake that could be really worrisome. Glad I stopped it and now seeking for possible solutions

Mariangeles:
Hilarious!

Op, it was the caffeine in the green tea that mistakenly did you strong thing.
You seem to have low tolerance for caffeine.



Lay off it (including any other stimulating substance) indefinitely.
It'll wear off.

Caffeine? That onyibo word.
That means I learnt the hard way about caffeine.

I've rushed to discard it before it makes me make another extra mistake that might be more expensive.

It's not wearing off. I need something to recover fast

dollytino4real:
I wan mistakely comment. Sorry 4 d mistake of anything dat happened,

Can't you mistakenly make a suggestion. Na serious issues be this

Darkmode64:
I genuinely empathize with you on your ordeal. But I have to say; this is the funniest thing I've read all week 😂

If I have read this elsewhere I would think it's a joke. How do I remedy the situation

Nemesis0147:
I laughed really hard reading this 😂😂😂
How can someone eats his/her way out of noise abeg😂😂
@op just say you are hungry because hunger no Dy let person sleep for night

Yes, I'm hungry, just that I need exact food to overcome this quickly.


If you want a smoother skin there are types of food that could help quickly.


If you want to reduce sleepless nights there are types of food that helps with this.

So I believe there are types of food I need to focus on for my case

So I use to pluck moringa leaf from a tree close to a house I was staying to make tea.

Things were going smoothly and I loved it because it makes me relax without getting addicted.

There are several ways I could relax, but most of them especially things to take have a very dangerous[b] side effect: ADDICTION.[/b]

this is why I opted for moringa as the tea makes me feel well and grounded and helps me concentrate.

Things changed when I moved. I couldn't get any moringa tree around to pluck the leafs, and I just tried to forget about it.


My mind was off it totally when one day I mistakenly stumbled upon a thread on nairaland talking about the benefits of moringa, something I already knew. I was mistakenly going through the comments when someone said you can easily get it online or supermarket.

Supermarket? I mistakenly thought of it and decided to give it a try. It won't be fresh, but let me try it.

I mistakenly went to the supermarket and mistakenly asked for moringa. I was shown the section for tea and beverages and I mistakenly went there to look for it.

I didn't see moringa and I mistakenly looked well until I saw a packet written moringa.


I mistakenly picked it up, and saw that it was actually green tea and moringa. Instead of me to drop it, I mistakenly took it, thinking that the moringa covers for the green tea.

I haven't taken green tea, but I've heard of it. I mistakenly didn't consider the side effects, and I mistakenly bought the green tea disguised as moringa.


This was where my woes started. I mistakenly made the green tea moringa tea, and mistakenly drank it.

The taste was somehow, but not too bad. I felt alert and sharp, my memory clear and awesome.

I could remember things very clearly and my focus was sharp.

But I didn't know that I mistakenly started something that would have effect on me.

I wasn't looking forward to slimming down, I only wanted moringa tea to help me focus.


At first I felt clarity of mind and highly alert, but that was it. Any little thing, I quickly noticed and responded. Seems like I could hear ants walking, little details and sounds were very clear to me.

This was bad for me. The noise from moving cars, loud music, generator noise and noisy people around made it counter effective.

This wasn't the kind of clarity I wanted.

Actually want I needed was focus not total clarity. For me to be kinda numb to the world around and highly focused on things around me, the particular thing I'm attending to at the moment.


But I mistakenly took green moringa tea and it made me really light. My head was lighter than our current transparent black nylon.


Any little noise triggers me. I became restless and irritable.



Night sleep? Gone

Focus? Gone

Steeze? Reduced drastically.



Instead of me to stop at first try, I mistakenly took the green moringa tea again, and again, until...


It now seems like all my flesh are gone and like they use spoon to scrape what's remaining, just like how I usually scrap off burnt rice from the bottom of delicious jollof rice back then.



What do I do? I don't want to mistakenly continue, I want my focus back.

My steeze restored.

My peaceful night sleep restored.


How do I counter this effect fast the natural way without substance that causes addiction?

Probz:
Alcohol is far more potentially addictive than cannabis, but I get you. It was just a random, slightly jokey suggestion.

I'm still looking up the suggestions. If not for addiction I would have considered Cannae.

Sometimes I take moringa tea to calm nerves but it's been difficult finding it nowadays.

Mariangeles:
Move out of that environment. Simple.

If you're going to...typing

I've moved out of several noisy environment only to find this one which was quite when I came in newly.

How long do I keep on changing environment

Probz:
CBD (to a lesser extent just-plain weed), fluvoxamine. Lavender essential oil. I don’t know about actual foods.

Nice suggestions, I'll look up the others except weed.. I can't start taking what will plunge me into deeper woes.

I don't want something that would become an addiction, something I can't do without

thesicilian:
Africans are funny people. So instead of thinking of ways to muffle the sound, your plan is to eat your way through it?

Tell me, which ways can I muffle the sound? Playing loud music, by 1am?

Your suggestions are welcome

Hisroyalbadmeat:
Cannabis sativa, very good to relax your nerves,shuts out the noise, you only hear your inner voice and thought, Tankio

Are you advising me to start taking eegbo, same thing that's making them to misbehave and disturb the whole vicinity. I don't want to add weeed addiction to my woes

HeatSeeker:
Get a headset and listen to soothing music or better still learn to adapt.

Which would you recommend.

Though I'm not actually a headset type of person.

The fear of tinitus is one of the reasons I don't fancy headphones that much.

Wenonawde:
Are you staying in student area or residential area ? If you are staying in Hostel you gat no choice.

Residential area. These guys just moved in recently and turned the place to a night club.