slap1: Hello, people.
There is this red Toyota Avalon that I've been seeing around my place in school for over two years. The car is still fairly new, the user manual is still inside it. I got curious when the car hasn't moved for two years now, and I found out that it was stolen by students. The reg number is LAGOS CX 420 KTU. . . I can't go to the police for personal reasons, so I decided to post it here. I hope it gets the required publicity.

OP:

I can't believe that car as new as it looked could be there for 2 years. My questions: How did you know it has been parked there for 2 years without anyone noticing it? Are you a student? Are you a resident around the vicinity? That car does not look to me a car parked for that long. In the month of October, 2012, you posted a write-up about the fact that you picked a cheque of over half a million naira. Where and how did you see the cheque? Something in my inner mind told me your ways are a bit creepy, dodgy and shady. Perhaps this car was used by a gang of armed robbers which I hope you are not part of this evil syndicate and dropped in that pathway or bush if I am correct; and a member of this gang, hopefully not you, is bothered with a guilty conscience thus coming to Nairaland to notify the owner of the supposedly parked car. If I am wrong, accept my apology otherwise we are watching!

trolling: its only gonna get worse...you guys can forget about peace and security in that country,e go soon reach me for here too,we just waiting for the imminet collapse

Why are so bent on the country's disintegration? Why are you optimistic of destruction? If you don't care about other people's lives, you should at least care for yours. Believe me, it is extremely rare for a particular cult of terrorists to subdue a federal government no matter how critical the insurgency is. Your view is justified based on the current happenings, but don't be too pessimistic.

I knew it! I knew it!!


Why did I bother opening it anyway?

Da-ny-ell:
When I remember my childhood and the beliefs I used to have, I just laugh at my gullible self. Here are ones I can still remember:
* when there is a rain- the angels are having a bath
* when there is a thunder clap- God is shouting at angel Gabriel
* when there is a rainbow- God wanted to flood us again but the rainbow reminded him of his promise.
* Mary cries blood when people continually sin and is constantly pleading for our sake. #God abeg, no kill dem.#
* when there is a little rain - God just washed his hands after a delicious meal.
...................................
These are the ones I can remember. So, was I alone with all these beliefs or do you guys equally have your own wacky beliefs? Please share them

Hmm, this reminds of me of my childhood. And as a matter of fact, large proportion of 'grown' Nigerians still believe in all these fictional things!

Tingles: Yeah, I do and I am taking it with me to heaven.

Can I buy that from you, please? I can pay 10,000naira. So shameful of me, I don't have these valuable possessions

mysticgal: abeg i need a sugas daddy,this phone i must pọsses

You just said it like your life depends on it. This same set of people would scramble to meet strangers, get violated in the process, perhaps. Listen to me young lady, you should start worrying about your education, carrier, marriage. One thing you don't know is this phone you are panting to have will soon be one of those phones. Why not worry about something worthwhile, something not ephemeral, something you can be proud of! Why are you willing to give out your 'gift' freely because of material things? Typical Nigerian lady!

I wish him a quick recovery. May God be with him

If you don't have a stable income, you can do without having a girlfriend by buying por nography cds or subscribe for internet based one, and jack off to the models there. I am a married man, and I do this most of the time my wife is not with me. Advantages: It relieves you pressure of finding a sex mate or girlfriend; (2) You have much time pursuing your goals rather than looking for money-hungry girls; (3) You have a very stable health condition as 'jacking off' gives you a huge relief; and finally (4) You won't stand any risk of contracting HIV or other terminal sexual-related diseases.

konn: this man should let by gone be by gone he should thank God he was not in the house the day the incidence happened if not he will not be here talking of compesation today

To be honest, you lack an iota of reasoning. Likes of you make Nigeria where it is today.

Billyonaire: Reno Omokri is a great patriot and a true Nigerian. I find in him the ingredients to make a good intellectual soup for politically knowledgeable consumption. He, Reno, is a great mind.

You are beaf. You are Reno. Thank you!

In as much as I support Gate's view on users' frustration on iPads, it is not apparently true as there are loads of applications on App store that work exactly like office. I can write notes on my iPad and that for me is close to typing. Notwithstanding, we are looking forward to getting the Microsoft surface. Nice advert Gates. That is what you get when you work deeply on analysis section on software development. You listen to users' requirement and you work on it on the implementation stage. I can't wait to work with you Sir!

Thank you for breaking my neck!

Just made a quick research. Result shows 5 people follow Warren Buffet every 1.50secs which equates 2400 followers for every 60 minutes.. Money good o

Hezron Lorraine: nairaland is full of mad,crazy,psychiatric patients,nurses and warders.I just love it here.police week looks quite boring if it was for the federal police force or the HQ in abuja alone.all for show.I praise their efforts,but they got a long way to go man.its worrisome we have active satelites in space and yet this lacks an accurate and up to date database.intelligence gathering are still of irrelevence due to inaccuracy,thanks to foreign aides.I find it hard this nation couldn't refocus its position on security,it needs a total reviving of every intelligence and security agency.it wouldn't cost this nation zillions to build state of the art police buidings in every local government,equipped with undisrupted satelite access,modern glocks and assault riffles.each police station should have no less than 6 patrol bikes,4 patrol cars,criminal conveyance trucks and bus 2,anti-bomb trucks equipped with technology for bomb detonation,in every metropolis a police station should be stationed with fire rescue trucks,an helicopter.e.t.c.I'm not in power,so I don't know how it works,but its what can be achieved.on d whole islamic mitancy in the north.I for one feel if mr president jona declares a state of emergency with all day curfew in all northern states.full border lock-down with patrol personnels,dn deploy,500 soldiers,200 policemen,100 sss personnels,20 dia agents in every northern state.just tell me if every nooks and crannies are searched.wouldn't they flush out the terrorist.after ds,dy should seek assistance from the french and american intelligence community to flush out alqaeda movement in the sub-saharan region.I know if jona does ds,iy would affect the economy of the north.I don't know if its attainable.but its conceivable.

Were you typing all these when you were high on weed?

Ijogz K: Start by disowning your father, he's the cause of ur situation. Den look for one of dese people.. Bill Gate aint taken yet. Let him adopt U.

Warren Buffet is working on my case ATM

So you disowned your own father for Warren Buffet? You are an unadulterated animal!

nwando: Let us hope the right people were arrested not some unfortunate touts around the area
I am always skeptical
Anything is possible in that Nigeria so the lazy NPF would appear to be working when we all know they are a huge joke
Where are their forensic labs?
What evidence
What database?
Are we talking of the same police force that uses some dirty 40 leaves exercise book to document cases?
How do we know the man arrested is Okeke and not Okafor,is there an ID and a system of reference?
How do they even track or apprehend criminals ,when they waka on foot and hitch rides from motorists with no radio communication


A Gang with high powered ammunition overpowered the airport in broad daylight and robbed to their hearts desire,the Nigerian police went into hiding and a few weeks later you capture the suspects without a gun battle.
Bikonu make we tok another thing

You apparently know nothing about intelligence unit in Police force.

Can you share some pictures? I may be interested. Thanks

The very moment I realized that many problems that we experience in Nigeria do exist in white man's land, then I knew these problems were not spiritual. The easy way to live a wonderful life: Never link your problems to spiritual realm; stay away from narrow-minded, gullible people; live a simple lifestyle; eat healthy food and keep fit; believe or assume there is God; treat people the way you want to be treated; walk hard to ensure a good life for yourself; and most importantly watch more and more American, British movies not failing Nollywood

It is amazing why we Nigerians always rush to pastors at any slightest inch of problems or challenges we encounter. These so-called pastors are not excluded from life's ups and downs. Many a time, if not all, problems we normally face require logical know-how, not spiritual. It is quite tragic that our immediate environments have superbly influential control over us. Outside Nigeria, in most developed countries, people discuss physical problems, address the problems, analyze possible solution and approach to such problems. However, in our dear country, people are so gullible to a fault, they are always likening every problem they have to spiritual attacks. Should we call it illiteracy? No, because most of these humans are schooled.

donphilopus: God has blessed us with a great man of God T B Joshua who is not like the other so-called pentecostal churches senior pastors thank God for his life, let's not condemn him. This was how God blessed us with Jay Jay Okocha and we didn't know his value, if T B Joshua were to be a foreigner we would have been respecting and worshiping him like our God.. LET'S TRY AND BE APPRECIATIVE TO OUR HOME BASE

You belong to 760BC bro. How come you made it to 21st century? Quite intriguing Keep wallowing in ignorance.

exxell: I AM A STAUNCH CATHOLIC BUT I CAN AUTHORITATIVELY TELL YOU THAT T.B JOSHUA IS REAL.... I WAS HIS BIGGEST OPPOSITION BEFORE BUT AFTER THIS MAN HEALED ME OF AN AILMENT OF SO MANY YEARS JUST BY TOUCHING MY TV SCREEN; I CANT BUT STOP CRITICIZING HIM. I KNOW RELIGIOUS BIGOTS WILL ARGUE THAT I WAS ONLY HEALED BY MY FAITH AND NOT HIS PRAYERS... BUT MIND YOU THAT FAITH WITHOUT GOOD WORKS IS DEAD! BY THE WAY, I HAVE PRAYED FAITHFULLY OVER THIS FOR SO MANY YEARS WITHOUT RESULT... RATHER IT GOT WORSE WITH EACH PASSING DAY! I HAVE NOT BEEN TO HIS CHURCH BEFORE AND I HAVE NO PLANS OF EVER VISITING THERE. THOUGH MOST OF THEIR METHODS OF OPERATION SEEMS ACTED, I THINK THIS MAN IS REAL. THE ONLY THING AM WORRIED ABOUT NOW IS UNDER WHOSE POWERS HE OPERATES ON ... BUT WHICHEVER POWER, IT WORKS!

MY TWO CENTS THOUGH. EVERYBODY IS ENTITLED TO HIS OR HER OPINION!

cough. We know the strategies. How is pastor J?

Ishilove:
Do you have proof that Emmanuel tv is a scam?

One of those gullible lots

CAMEROONPRIDE:
What a nation of gullible people

Joshua is a frigging good business man, trust me

.

herquleez: sick people in a disfunctional society...

very funny though

dysfunctional

Billyonaire, good write-up there. You sound very well an educated person; it is quite intriguing why other so-called enlightened graduates still indulge in this fallacy. Quite a number of people are so narrow-minded that they fail to accept the fact that physical realm does not go correspondingly with the contrary. To the naive, be continuously spoon-fed lies and keep living in completeness of idiocy.