₦airaland Forum

AN 18-year-old Gwanda teenager who assaulted four police officers has been sentenced to an effective three months in jail for assault and resisting arrest.

Bernard Dube of Esibomvu village pleaded not guilty but was convicted by Gwanda magistrate Maphios Moyo.

Dube, who had been on the run before his arrest, was sentenced to six months in prison but three were set aside on condition he does not commit a similar offence within three years.

Prosecutor Takunda Mafudze told the court that on the 23rd of November, 2015, ZRP officer Charles Mufanebadza was on patrol at Esibomvu Business Centre when he got information that the accused was at local bottle store.

Mufanebadza summoned one Constable Nyoni to assist him and they approached Dube and informed him he was under arrest for crimes he had previously committed before going into hiding.

"Accused turned violent refusing to be handcuffed and held Constable Mufanebadza by the belt while pushing Constable Nyoni to the ground,” said the prosecutor.

“He then picked a stone and hit Mufanebadza twice on the forehead and several times on the upper back of the left ear.

"Two other police officers Constables Nyoni and Gomwe heard that their colleagues were being overpowered and rushed to assist but were both kicked down by the accused person."

Some villagers later joined in and assisted the police to handcuff Dube.

According to a medical report compiled at Esigodini Hospital, Constable Mufanebadza sustained a swollen and bruised forehead, a deep cut on the upper back of the left ear and a deep bite sore on the left arm.

Know something you never knew in order to be someone you never were, someone good indeed, a legend, a statesman, a Bill Gates or an Opera Winfrey.

Think more and more and you will know what is here is different. Something hidden. Something you need to take time and share.

Everyone can be ignorant and misunderstood and can see the future as something you can't predict, like something as a mystery and enemy or something.

At last, you may agree with Isaac Newton, a scientist. that God doesn't exist and that earth is the center of everything that make the universe.

Don't be a lost sheep. Just trust in your knowledge because one thing you know can open a door to hidden ones, and you won't miss your luck. You won't miss your legacy. look for what you need to know, use it to your own advantage, unlock your success and peace of mind and coexist with fellow humans.

Today can be your first if you care.

You always think you lack, because you don't see what you already acquired. You always ask for more, because you are never satisfied.

Don't lose hope soon. Don't think of your failures, disgress and tough future. Do what brings profit but something legal.

Be an artist to be a creator, a constructive thinker. And a brain behind technology. Please people. make them live a comfortable and long life. Make them define their future and capture their past. Make them get rid of environmental problems to some extent.

Be a clown, a ballet, a jester, a poet, a clairvoyant or a high clout -maintain a positive response. encourage other artists by telling them the truth, if this is the way, show them, if this is not, show them, if they are searching for their own, praise them, if they are happy, be happy too.

Refuse to reply to a bad comment. Leave the haters talking nonsense. And Delete the comment if you can.

talk2alabama:
Na green card tinz

you mean the Visa? Don't worry.

God can make your overseas Travel sponsored by Government. One day, someone would tell you, "I am happy to inform you that I am to go to Germany with you for a one Month well secured trip because you deserve it. Accept my congratulation!"

If you want to visit France, China, USA, or any good country, you're like me. Not because you are looking for a greener pasture, but you want to see their physical level of development and compare it to yours, you're like me.

To make your overseas travel very important whether you don't have money, don't worry, start studying foreign languages and you can do so free online by learning German, French, Spanish, Chinese, Arabic, etc, free of charge.

You'll see God is opening ways for you to achieve your dreams, just like me.

The Federal Ministry of prostitution is happy to announce a vacancy to be filled in by 4 prostitutes who are blessed with various techniques of opening legs.

Requirements:

You are required to come along with the following:
i. Well hand written application letter
ii. 5 copies of C.V (that include year(s) of experience)
iii. one packet of condom
iv. WAEC or NECO scratch card

Our contact address: No. 13 Rochas Okorocha Street, Makurdi, Benue State, Nigeria

For more information, call +0766690

I would like to work with Igbo girl, a profound virgin and bellow 21 years old, in my room to complete this book.

Her work is to help me with 50 Igbo proverbs and 10 unknown things about Nnamdi Kanu.

Please, don't worry or become angry when you see me with a Fulani girl bellow 19 years of age, who will tell me 20 things why Fulani herd men start killing Igbos.

Perhaps, you will like to know the first title of this book is "The portrait of President Buhari as a Hausa Goat" but because I realised Igbos love eating Hausa goats and won't love eating what looks like their enemy, I change it to "The portrait of President Buhari as a Biafaran Enemy."

People are afraid of when he becomes the world's power president just as most Africans were afraid of when Buhari becomes. And dont be surprise, as Buhari got it, Trump can also get it and nothing worse would happen.

mamaafrik:
Op,ore mi,They must have put ON that flourmill machine in the bakery in your head.

it is a joke to be angry in a joke zone, ore mi.

Last year, I promised I must write a book, and I can't wait to see I do.

Recently I indulged in writing eBook and, after hitting 2000 words, I was disappointed to realize I can’t continue with it because it can’t work, and I am glad to share what I learnt from the failure.

If you want to write eBook without similar problem, I advise you to study it.

You've to prepare your outline to look like a real skeleton of your ebook, which means arranging the list of what you’ll discuss from the title to the conclusion, and making sure it won’t disappoint you before starting the actual writing. The best way to accomplish this is to make sure each stage relates to the previous one up to the main catchy title.

It isn't that simple, though failure to follow the rule is what made my eBook no more. So, as the beginner, especially, you need to concentrate on forming outlines to give your writing good structure and public acceptance.

Or, d'you want to learn how to form outlines? Well, I'm here with you.

The only way to learn how to form an outline is to read more, most especially wiki-how types of articles and others with titles such as: 100 things to do to be happy. or you can write something like I want to talk about…and then start writing the list of what you want to talk about.

Don’t rush to start fleshing out. First, give your outline sometime because immediately after outlining, I was desperate to start fleshing out, thinking following stages I created won't disappoint me, but I'm here regretting.

If you don’t want this to happen to you either, I advice that you start two project at the same time, so that when you're desperate, why not going to the other project to make it easy?

Know that it's outline that shows how powerful your book or essay is.

It is said that running about the bush is part of writing process, and it's, indeed, good to understand it as it's, but you need to make sure it isn't part of your writing process, since it can make you lose interest.

What makes my eBook failed is this; I discovered I must return to start afresh and I don’t have time for that. When I look at the work, I asked myself 3 questions:

1. Should I start again? I discovered I must start another out lines.

2. Can I use the flesh I've made to flesh another outlines? I discovered it won’t correspond.

3. Should I start another fleshing? I discovered I rather start another project.

Continue reading: https://languageexpertintl./2016/05/05/345/

Read John 3:16.

When it is about sex, you will be surprise to see the number of viewers. Read John 3:16 or Holy Quran or pay your tribute to Prince.

It will help you more

Moderators__________________this thread.

He is no more or he looks like Juda Iscariot.

Writing is more than what is in your English text book.

fistonati:
How immoral of those doctors despite all that have seen in woman they still go about such act's. May god console the abused and raped feminine gender

How can I trust my wife going to doctor these days? Because the technique they are using is too seductive that their victim (the woman) will feel ashamed to let someone know about it. Infact, I advise women not to panic to report the hudlums.

“I started bleeding at eight months of my pregnancy and my doctor sent me for a scan at the said hospital. When I got there, being my first time, I obtained a card and was sent to see a doctor before the scan. When I got to him, he asked my name which I gave to him. The next thing, he started handling my breast and I was just watching. At a point, he asked if I was not feeling Hot and I told him that I did not even know that he was touching my breast.

He told me that I was a strong woman as so many women at that point, used to plead with him to have sex with them. I asked him why he was doing it and he told me that he needed to access the fluid that would come out of nipples so he could write his report before I went for the scan. I did the scan and left. I felt that was the process until I became pregnant again, I was sent for another scan but this time around, I had it at Enugu Scan Centre and when it got to my turn, the doctor just did the scan he never touched my breast. I asked him why he did not touch my breast and he told me that it had nothing to do with the scan. It was then I narrated my experience with the other doctor and he told me that the doctor was promiscuous.”

Another victim Bola recalled that she went through hell for 17 years waiting for the fruit of the womb. “I was desperate to get a child and was ready to go to any hospital or prayer house. One day, my husband’s friend referred me to a doctor and told me that he would be my last bus stop. I was excited and followed him. The so-called doctor asked me to bend down and remove my pants, that he wanted to examine my vagina from behind.

“I discovered that he was robbing a cream on my clitoris and I kept quiet because I thought it was the procedure. Meanwhile, I was very vigilant because in the course of my childlessness, I had never experienced such. Suddenly, he brought out his penis and was about to insert it in my vagina when I shouted. I ran out of the office screaming. That was the last time and I swore I would never visit any place that is not a good hospital. And as God would have it, am blessed with three daughters today.

“Women go through a lot all in the name of making babies. No sane woman would boldly tell her husband or friends that her doctor or even pastor slept with her. Reacting to the incident, a lawyer, Emmanuel Eke said the victim needs to be very convinc¬ing, giving no space for the accused to evade justice if he is indeed guilty.

"The truth is that in Africa, it is hard to prove a rape case. This is an uphill task. Medi¬cal examination is important here and I do not know whether that is possible within the space that she reported the incident. But winning is not the only issue. It is worth seeking for justice. She may be believed empirically but may not be believed legally. Most importantly, that will stop the doctor from trying such out on another person. He is quite aware that he has a record with the police. I commend the lady who was bold enough to report the matter.”
When contacted on the incident, the state Police spokesperson, Dolapo Badmus said the command is already aware of the case and would act accordingly.
SOURCE: SUNNEWSONLINE

“I started bleeding at eight months of my pregnancy and my doctor sent me for a scan at the said hospital. When I got there, being my first time, I obtained a card and was sent to see a doctor before the scan. When I got to him, he asked my name which I gave to him. The next thing, he started handling my breast and I was just watching. At a point, he asked if I was not feeling Hot and I told him that I did not even know that he was touching my breast.
He told me that I was a strong woman as so many women at that point, used to plead with him to have sex with them. I asked him why he was doing it and he told me that he needed to access the fluid that would come out of nipples so he could write his report before I went for the scan. I did the scan and left. I felt that was the process until I became pregnant again, I was sent for another scan but this time around, I had it at Enugu Scan Centre and when it got to my turn, the doctor just did the scan he never touched my breast. I asked him why he did not touch my breast and he told me that it had nothing to do with the scan. It was then I narrated my experience with the other doctor and he told me that the doctor was promiscuous.”
Another victim Bola recalled that she went through hell for 17 years waiting for the fruit of the womb. “I was desperate to get a child and was ready to go to any hospital or prayer house. One day, my husband’s friend referred me to a doctor and told me that he would be my last bus stop. I was excited and followed him. The so-called doctor asked me to bend down and remove my pants, that he wanted to examine my vagina from behind.
“I discovered that he was robbing a cream on my clitoris and I kept quiet because I thought it was the procedure. Meanwhile, I was very vigilant because in the course of my childlessness, I had never experienced such. Suddenly, he brought out his penis and was about to insert it in my vagina when I shouted. I ran out of the office screaming. That was the last time and I swore I would never visit any place that is not a good hospital. And as God would have it, am blessed with three daughters today.
“Women go through a lot all in the name of making babies. No sane woman would boldly tell her husband or friends that her doctor or even pastor slept with her. Reacting to the incident, a lawyer, Emmanuel Eke said the victim needs to be very convinc¬ing, giving no space for the accused to evade justice if he is indeed guilty.

“At a point, he removed the equipment and inserted it again but this time, it was much bigger. I believed that it was as a result of him handling with my clitoris that made me to get carried away to the point that I could not tell that the stuff that was bigger inside me was actually his penis. It was the noise he made when he was about to ejaculate that drew my attention and I opened my eyes and lo and behold, he was actually having sex with me instead of the scan.”

Shocked, Mrs. Funke claimed that she quickly wore her pants and asked the doctor why he took advantage of her.

“I was shocked as well as embarrassed. I was terrified because I could not understand if this was the process. He quickly removed the condom and threw into the waste basket and started begging me to forgive him and allow him to proceed with the treatment. I left his office and complained to the nurse who was on duty and she said that it is not a new thing that the man is used to sleeping with most of his patients. She asked me to forgive him that she would find a way to get the hospital to compensate me so that the matter would be closed."

When asked why she did not scream or attack the doctor when she discovered what happened, Mrs. Funke said that her main concern was to get out of the place safe.

“When I discovered what he did, I was terrified because I could not understand why he did that to me. I have heard of how people mysteriously die and my main concern was to leave his office alive, that was why I complained bitterly to the nurse. When I got home, I told my husband what I went through and he asked me to formally report to the police. Heaven knows that I did not consent to the act. I only had faith in the doctor that he knew what he was doing," she claimed.

She begged the police to assist her to get justice. “I am legally married and I am blessed with a great husband. That was why I confided in him. He was the one who encouraged me to be bold enough to report the matter to the police so that such a crime would not continue.”

When Saturday Sun called the number on the hospital card as presented by the woman, the person who answered the call admitted that he was the Medical Director and queried if his accuser was not conscious or drugged when the alleged act took place. He thanked the reporter and assured that he would sort out the problem as soon as possible to avoid any scandal.

When the Doctor was called again on his mobile phone number at about 1:27pm on Thursday to react in details to the allegation, he initially feigned ignorance but later said he had no comment to make.

Other women recall similar encounters Just like Funke, some women who heard her story pleaded with the Police to use her case as an example for other doctors who are in the habit of sleeping with their female patients.

One of such is Mrs. Vivian Agu who said that her gynecologist in a popular hospital around HRC Enugu fondled her breast when she was eight months pregnant.

Fertility doctor accused of using his manhood to fertilize someone's wife

The Police in Lagos have begun investigation into an alleged case of rape against the Medical Director of a fertility clinic, Sayemi Nature-science Centre. The suspect (names withheld) was alleged to have had carnal knowledge of one of his patients on Saturday April 9, 2016 at one of his centers in Ikeja area of Lagos State.

His accuser, one Mrs Funke (other names withheld) made the allegation in her statement at the police station few days after the encounter, hoping that she would get justice. She alleged that the Doctor used a medical instrument called transducer which is usually inserted inside the vagina and moved around slightly while ultrasound images are shown on screen.

According to her, she was convinced that the method would allow the doctor have a good view of her womb to ascertain if anything was wrong. The instrument which has the shape of the penis, she alleged , was inserted into her vagina but she never knew when the doctor withdrew the instrument and inserted his own penis inside her until he was about to ejaculate.

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Although this might sound like a fairy tale, the victim insisted she never consented to the act. Battling to control her tears, Mrs. Funke said that it was her quest to conceive that landed her in trouble. In her words, “I have a 24 year old son and ever since, all efforts to get pregnant had failed. I have visited different hospitals and prayed endlessly for God to remember me. Luckily, I have an understanding husband who stood by me all these years.

“I knew that I had to do anything possible to ensure that there are children in the house. This was how I picked interest in any programme that talks about fertility. Early in the month, I watched a health programme organized by the Doctor who is the founder of Sayemi Naturalscience Centre, Ikeja.

“During the programme, he explained that he had a natural way through which he could heal infertility. I was impressed and I decided to visit his clinic when he explained that my problem could be solved through dieting.

“Last Saturday, with the consent of my husband, I decided to pay him a visit. I bought their clinic card for N2000 and waited for my turn. When I finally saw the doctor, I narrated my medical history and all the efforts that I had made to conceive. He assured me that his clinic would be my last bus stop but he would need to access my body through vaginal scan.

“I knew what vaginal scan meant. Immediately, I stretched my body on the table for examination. Normally, you were expected to lie down and spread your legs widely apart. I trusted the doctor, so I never queried his method. He applied cream on my vagina and inserted the instrument used by doctors for normal vaginal scan. The only odd thing he did was to touch my clitoris and I tried to resist and he told me to calm down that this was a perfect process of inducing my hormones so that he could access my body well. At that point, I relaxed very well, closed my eyes and spread my legs because my focus was to get solution.

Get it Thinking about Dinosaurs Tonight

Thinking of dinosaurs doesn't financially suck. It can make you skip breakfast the next day.

By Maren John Mafuyai | April 16, 2016 | Humor

I’ve learned so much about how to be really creative and use the talent to blow people’s mind but the funniest thing I found important is imagining such scary things like dinosaurs.

I know this makes you sort of laughing or thinking you’re reading a shitty, dolling and Bleep up article, but you’ll latter want to know where I live to say, “Thanks, you’re really a man who needs whip on buttocks because you’re foolish.” But no, not really—this is a dream.

As an edu-preneur and a writer who writes about worse things to scare you, I believe everyone’s interested in getting new ideas to entertain millions of fragile hearts surfing the net.

I’ve too much things to say about how to get your ass close to pounds but the most important thing is getting there. So here we go!

Dinosaurs aren’t your friends. Or at least, they probably aren’t. I honestly don’t know and practically it doesn’t matter.

You want to have this sweet dream to hit your forehead on the wall to night? D’you want to be creative and write the first top dinosaur movie from Africa? I bet you’re really lucky 2016 is your year of transformation. Make sure you remember to call me after your economy boom.

Imagine you with your sweety approaching a fly-over in Ikorodu, then a dinosaur that’s been having sex with ladies slaps your ass, snatches your sweety and heads toward Seme Border.

I know you’re angry, right? But don’t do anything to the dinosaur or try tracking it—let it do what it likes with your sweety while thinking of what if—what if your sweety turns out to be its cook? Or what if she turns it to be the killer of any government official who attempts to steal government funds. This indeed is enough to make you desperate to pitch an idea to Nollywood and get $10,000 instantly before another big one. Congratulations!

If after that someone asks you to know why you’re happy, tell him a dinosaur snatches your sweety and you’re glad it does.

I get in dinosaur pounds for following Jurassic park and usually dreaming about it that my daughter is about to be swallowed up and I’m glad she’s.

Learning to dream of dinosaurs is simple. Getting your ass on pounds through so is better.

You can start dreaming of them and running the business requires no capital as all you need is to watch the American version of the movie.

Writing dinosaurs scripts is very easy and you don’t need up to $10,000 to give me for a one week lesson, or else start a snail business. You can get some snails for free in the early morning after a rainfall at the bush and one snail lays about 300-500 eggs. But be careful not to take zombie.

Common mistake dinosaur script writers make is to rush in to creating stories without having a dream about it. This approach often results to peedipy performance; and many viewers saying this is a parody of Jurassic park.

Thinking of dinosaurs is sometimes a serious threat and if you’re not careful, the real ones can appear to you. But you can't tell the world what they want, for 36,000,000 forces are enough to cause amagedon.

emonkey:
http://www.rotimiogunjobi.me.uk/content/olajumoke-lair-monster

Hi emonkey, I realised that you are in a publishing industry through reading your well edited post on this great Forum. I am also passionate in writing and want to know if you know where I can be submitting humor articles.
Thanks!

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy.
Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by " v".
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst place....
- Unknown
Posted by AA in Humor ID#:5149

True story, I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome.
She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."
The moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.
- Unknown
Posted by amanda3000 in Humor

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."
- Unknown
Posted by rememberme in Humor

What Make Poor Nigerians Shout Against Buhari's Change

Political complaints doesn't end till death.

By Maren John Mafuyai

As I walk through hands-to-mouth Nigerians, precisely in Jos City, I couldn't say the truth that I have a good hope in President Buhari, because I knew some of them can strike through my amoeba head with a sharp digger, without giving my parents even $10 to help construct my long coffin.

The conversation always open with, "Huh, are we really going to survive?" To let you know you need to support them or else have yourself be blamed.

Going down a little further in to the story of a wrong change mantra of his excellency, we learn everyone has a freedom of speech. We know exactly that others just say what they heard others saying just to let us know they are also participating in politics, they are not left behind.

"When you have built your stamina to like that of Mikel Obi, you have gotten an infrastructure to nose-dive in to political enjoyment"

Without spoiling my story, let me bring you into the real picture of what this people are saying and what they focus upon. The description of against-the-change-mantra can be put under the subheadings to say nothing but the real truth--which is haram.

Fuel scarcity: Dont say you are still worrying about what has been a cliché like better said than done. The next time you hear someone talking about it in reality.... Buhari's change mantra has not been activated because the minister for petroleum has not yet become a magician. The administration has not been cooked well to the point of going to India to pass through the obvious, final stage of initiation in to manhood.

And we are left with saying, "Uh, okay, we are listening."

Sure, it takes a couple of years to actually become a guru in politics to run from Dubai to Qatar, from Qatar to Istanbul, but so what? When you have built your stamina to like that of Mikel Obi, you have gotten an infrastructure to nose-dive in to political enjoyment that left PDP shivering to the actual point of no return.

But a foolish leader still says, "But I am also once the president of this country (of discount tree?).

"Buhari has been busy incharge of Naira, taking the position of the Central Bank Governor, Emifiele"

The rise of commodity price in the market: Here is a man of initiative if you have been tracking the price of rice since January 2016. Which is bloodily fine. Just dont say you dont know that Naira is no longer valued since you can't get up to 4 measures of local rice with your one thousand Naira.

Tighten your belt and know where you are.

Nope. Today, even the rich track what is really going out of their pocket when it comes to buying grains. "But that is cooler than any past administration", said the economists.

Lack of salary payment on time: I should have named this article "Money Shortage from Buhari" or "Buhari the stingiest President", but I didn't. So it would have not worked, right?

From January to March 2016, frankly speaking, I have heard some people, particularly state workers and police complaining about late salary payment, saying something like, "We love corruption since there was prompt salary payment during Goodluck Ebele administration because people's wellfare should be the first thing to consider before any bulshit." Which is true. Meanwhile, Buhari has been busy incharge of Naira, taking the position of the Central Bank Governor, Emifiele. You see?

Sure, it takes a couple of weeks to systematically and secretly correct the mistake by rescuing the Naira back to its common place, but what is still wrong now? We are still waiting for them to become magicians in order to convince us through real actions that this change is not a negative type, even with Naira being devalued.

But in my own side, I think it is too early for poor Nigerians to start complaining about this administration. It saves your time more to know that from the start, a dog can run pass a car, but what will happen after a few minutes?

You can paste it on your website or weblog as long as it goes with the writer's name and nothing is changed.

Maren John Mafuyai loves Writing and eating raw tomatoes.

A Booker Winning Article: Oshiomhole Denies His Boys

By Maren J. Mafuyai

It is apparently not a crime to fight against injustice.

To those parents who run a family of say 8, 10 or 11 kids or to those coaches like Siasia with his staggering Super Eagle boys who couldn’t make it to AFCON these days, understanding this Booker piece (oh yes booker piece!) is not like trying to unvote a tall, Oscar Pistorius-like presidential candidate who is already ahead of your choice with say 1000,000 votes, even if Lagos have not yet cast their whooping votes. So don’t panic!

If you have not watch a movie (unlike star wars or Jurassic Park type) in which a parent rebuked his kids more than hundred times against spoiling things up, it is likely that such movie never existed because these days movie makers don’t waste money producing something too obvious like baldhead.

So, it is not a weird thing when Governor Adams Oshiomhole of Edo State is fed up with Edo State Transport Management Agency (EDSTMA) officials his boys, making us weeping with gnashing of teeth. And this let us in to the real Booker picture of it, saying thanks to Sunday Vanguard.

Oshiomhole’s Storm

As long as you have interest in watching a new released movie which features a cover photograph of a leading actor with blood running down his cheek, you won’t like to miss this one that features Oshiomhole mourning as well. So, sit down, relax and, if you like, weep like them.

“Tuesday, February 16, 2016 must be an unforgettable day for officials of the…EDSTMA and the State Ministry of Transport under the Commissioner, Isimeme Irogbe, when Governor Adams Oshiomhole stormed their premises,” said the Sunday Vanguard, February 21, 2016.

The officials, it was alleged, behaved like Fulani cows by trying to take the steering from drivers while on motion, a service to humanity that let to serious accidents.

And this they did not only to drivers living across Edo State alone but also to those from other states passing through Benin-City to Lagos or to the East.

What will you say assuming you are the appointer of such unruly officials?

Well, without any waste of time, let’s have a comic relief by hearing what governor Oshiomhole has said:

“And it hurts me more because each time they go out to commit these atrocities, people call them ‘Oshiomhole police’ and I have no police. I never send them to cause pains to our people and that is why I am personally pained. They are not my police, they are not my boys, these are people who still believe they are in the old days, when PDP was in power. And that is why we must stop this wickedness against our people.”

So, PDP should hear this about them in reference to their bad past leadership in order to decide whether it will favour them if they change their name that often make people angry these days. Even His Excellency Oshiomhole too should hear that he was not suppose to be funny in this terrible situation by indirectly calling PDP an outdated party, although anyone that harasses motorists in the state will be sent to prison.

So everyone too hear it.✨

Maren J. Mafuyai (marenx) is writing for Naira Land users since 2015. And like this one most of his articles are sick.

All rights reserved! You are free to paste this humor article on your website if my name and byline would go with it.

She is described as a top level witch; a queen, a goddess. Her husband Jay-Zy called her Queen B in Mr. Cater. They are both Illuminati Members, worshipers of devil and almost everyone in the United States know. She is a witch.