₦airaland Forum

A bar owner locked up his place at 2 AM and went home to sleep. He had been in bed only a few minutes when the phone rang. “What time do you open up in the morning?” he heard an obviously inebriated man inquire. The owner was so furious, he slammed down the receiver and went back to bed. A few minutes later there was another call and he heard the same voice ask the same question. “Listen, the owner shouted, “there’s no sense in asking me what time I open because I wouldn’t let a person in your condition in—“ “I don’t want to get in,” the caller interjected. “I want to get out.”

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal." Recently General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the statement: "Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?" Not only that, but, Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you

This are Microsoft jokes

would you accept this too. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But, then you would have to buy more seats. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads. The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars, which would make their cars run much slower. The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt. The airbag system would say "are you sure?" before going off. If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.

A conversation between a patient and his doctor.

Patient: Doctor, doctor I have only 58 seconds to live!!!!!!

Doctor: I’ll be with you in a minute.

Smart man + Smart Woman = Romance Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Affair Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Marriage

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.

wornout prof

Yeah.

I must confess that you're stubborn

am still here oh!

Fake prof

If i may ask. who is my God? ?

roflmao

@ Colonel Loyika

You missed one

EPL (So much fun )

WELL NEVA HEARD OF IT B4

ANYWAY THANXZ

for your information, two pple can't rule at a time one does the ruling and that is


ARSENAL!!!


ARSENAL RULES

Ice block

As i said earlier it's gonner be a clash of the titans but Arsenal would surely triumph



ARSENAL RULES.

I think man would have been eaters of fruits alone


Imagine Humans could fly

I've heard about the novel but i've never read it before.

Dude, could you tell me the meaning of Breda? ?

Love


Donkey or Horse

Lose Yourself --Eminem

at his reply.

Zinedine Zidane

Who told you that?

You are welcomed

watching wat?

i doubt that.

free was caught eating with bare hands _{"ow why third world"}

Zaria


E

Xavier