₦airaland Forum

EzeUche_:
Learn to spell the word right you illiterate.

Educated i.d.i.o.t, why can't you correct your line.
Zap off

Mr, Cork:
Open a Karate Schoool!

@Mr, Cork, this is not a joke. A brother is in a precarious situation here.
He can't teach Karate cause he didn't learn that.

190:
[color=deeppink]OK, whats his name so i can start a 5 day prayer harvest on him [/color]

His name is John

rokiatu:
I wouldn't marry him either.

But I would wait for him when he's financially ready, then we can get marry.

The process itself is a lot of expensive not to talk of our day to day living.

But unlike the girl, I wouldn't turn him down, I would encourage him to get serious, and keep looking for work.

But age is not on his side. He told me he is 33 but I know he is up to 35.  What happens if he turns 40 and the  good job refuses to come.

190:
[color=deeppink]keep praying and working harder

trying to get other jobs, nigeria is really finished [/color]

I have told him to be praying also. @190  put him in your own prayers too.

My friend is getting frustrated day after day. He is a graduate of Sociology. He has been trying to get a good job before getting married. He keeps getting jobs that pay very little and he has no money to start a good business. His current job pays only =N=17,000 per month.

My friend is getting old and he knows it. He will turn 33 by July. His current girl friend refused to marry him when he proposed to her last month.

What would the poor boy do?

Follow the link below to vote.
[size=14pt]https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-600904.0.html[/size]

Do we need  the egyptian style revolution

Goto this link and cast your vote
[url=https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-600904.0.html[/size]][size=14pt]https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-600904.0.html[/size][/url]

What do you think?

@Op
Quality time? Even if you stop work and make it up to 24hrs with her, she will still complain of quality time. She dosen't want to say it directly. She seems to be saying that 12hrs with you in a day or week is not enough for her. But that is not what she mean. She wants you to make commitment. Like Marry her. Once you do,you will see that 12hrs will be too much a time.  She will be the one to tell you to stay apart sometime.

Take for instance, if she comes to your house for a night, she would not want to leave in the morning because you are going to work. She would prefer you leave her in, go and come back. Whenyou visit her, she wouldn't like you people parting after the 12hrs because you are avoiding one thing or the other.

The bottom line is; She just want to "Own" you

w

I have to register, It is my civic responsibility. It is my right too. I want to make sure that I participate in choosing our leaders.

With the hicups that bedeviled the start of the voters registration, it will be good if we should know how it is proceeding.

Niralander's let us guage the success of the on-going voters registration exercise by voting on this pool.

[size=14pt]Have you registerd or not.  Vote to check the rate of registration[/size]

You may do well to give us the reason for your choice above

I like Igbo girls. Most of them are well educated. They can dress well too. They will not disgrace you in public.
Girls, I know will prefer Igbo men cause most of them are business men with lots of cash. The young ones are very adveturous and hardworking.

ogugua88:
Lol. I just returned from Naija. Still high lol.

All I have to say is that people can be single and successful just as married people can be just that, married, and unsuccessful. I intimidate a lot of guys and reside in the US, where the divorce rate has surpassed 50%. I suppose that is why I've adapted such a philosophy. Being single forever doesn't scare me. I support independent women and free thinkers. At the same time, there are roles to be played. That's life really. If a woman is capable of working, cooking, and raising children with a man, I don't see why he would want to refuse her.

I totally agee with you. But, you know, the world is skewed to the wrong side most of the time. Good news is no news. Many women, especially in Africa, are really working, cooking, and raising their children. Many of those marriages didnt start with the woman already highly placed and career focused. Many also took place years ago when the society was less polorised as it is today ( more than 50% Divorce rate) Few women, I mean very few women these days can really be career focused and be able to take care of their homes without friction with the man's position in the house. Sometimes, they try to play "the man", or force the man to concide more than what he is willing to give-in to.

If you think that you can work, cook, and raise your kids with a man without friction, that is excellent, good. You know you have not started yet. what this thread is saying is that, If you put your career too forward, many men will be unwilling to give you the chance to prove you can.

Like you said, If you are not scared of being single then that is bad. What it means is that you may not be ready to make the sacrifices that keep relationships going. Since you have a job and can take care of yourself, you wouldnt mind opting out of any relationship at the slightest provocation. Therefore, if you let men know that you are not scared of being single, they will be scared of making commitment.

I have a brother in london, when I visted him last xmas, I was taken aback by what I saw. I concluded that my brother has wasted his life these years. There was a lot of food and drinks in the kitchen but no one to prepare them. We ended up eating fast food all the time. It is either my brother or I that cooks. I saw his wife few hours each day. She leaves the house 7am and comes back 8pm because her place of work is a little far from home. Even when she is around she dosen't feel like cooking, but will be searching for what we have prepared so she can eat. If there is none she will take some snack and drink an off to sleep she goes. Her children two girls (17yrs & 20yrs) are worst, they don't even know how to prepare common nodules. My brother was in hospital for 5 days, down with kidney stone, she visited him only once or twice.

She once told she will find me a wife in Uk. I was quick to reject, binding and casting the idea at the same time. she can only find one of her kind. Too long a reply. Anyway just remain focused.

ogugua88:
Keep your sorry ohh. Is it only men wey sabi boil water? I'm not a typical Igbo lady or typical lady for that matter. If a man is intimidated to marry me because I can take care of myself and I'm confident, then I don't want to marry him as he clearly is lacking self-confidence himself. I can actually balance, work, school, and house duties. Since when is a woman taking care of herself a crime? Double-standards at its finest.

I asumed you are Igbo 'cos of ur screen name "ogugua", and Osondi Owendi under it. As for boilling water I mean, If you are not intrested in marrage as you insinuate, there is a limit to how long you can be able to help yourself. If you don't have kids who can take care of you at old age, (boil water) then you will hate youself. ( You can adopt or get some out of wedlock, but you know how the society views such options) No offence- just thinking

ogugua88:
Lol. Is marriage a requirement in life? With the way things are now, I don't see why anyone should run into marriage anyway, unless they fancy divorce and the 50/50 thing.

I am who I am and I change for no one. I'll continue pursuing what I want in life because I come first. If men can't handle strong women, then they clearly are the ones with problem finding wives.

^^^^ Did you mean what you wrote here. If yes, then I am sorry for you. A typical Igbo lady knows what it means to be "Otonaka" Remember: Old age will turn the table against you. No one to help you boil water then.

Shy-One:
I completely agree with you. I am mean - you have to be sometimes. You cannot feed the nation by yourself. I did use to be unemployed - I know just how hard it is - I suffered - I lost my job in 2008 and started my own business because I couldn't find work - this recession killed jobs in the U.S. and worldwide. I cannot afford to hand my hard-earned cash over to friends who are unemployed forever or temporarily unemployed. I have a friend who doesn't want to work either even if the recession didn't exist. I'm sorry but I have to be mean. I don't like it either - but it is what it is.

I sometimes I find it difficult to shear. But it pains me when I couldn't give. Most times I see it that what I have is not enough. But I have been ment to understand that the more you give the more you receive. Anytime I was able to give I usually get it back some how. Sometimes it will take too long that I will be counting my loss. But believe me, it is better to give than to receive. So try as much as you can to be helpful to others, not to dose that have intentionally refused to help themselives. It will be well with you.

MY ADVICE

Have a boyfriend but don't have sex with him.

Shy-One:
I don't know - sometimes I think I am weird - I really do - more and more I think I am prejudice.  I don't want to be, but I think in my heart that I am.

I don't want to be around or befriend a female that isn't working.  I just don't.  I don't want her hand out to me because she can't or didn't get enough from her bf/husband that week, day or month.  I don't do loans.

Yes, I think you are weird too, or rather, you are too mean. You were once unemployed, didn't you have friends then.

What do you think of men who have little or no cash. Can you tolorate them?

Mrs, Chima:
Sorry Boo! My husband is not complaining about me making my own money. He makes his own money and I make my own money. Don't try to put your lack of self confidence on to my husband. He has nothing to do with your lack of. IF you have an issue with a woman being independent maybe you need to check your drawers to see if your balls are missing.

I am sure you are covering up here.  I envisage what that brother is suffering.  Don't bother saying any more, "by their fruits, we shall , "

Mrs, Chima:
I have a question, are you male or female?

Does it matter if I am a man or a woman.  It looks like it struck you. May be your husband use to complain.

misanho:
As soon as a lady startz takin care of her rentz, billz, taxez and can get a car,go shoppin wit her own money nd mayb send a little 4 d upkeep of her siblingz nd parent witout d help of a man or if married her partner, den 2 her itz her nd her only, She bcomes rude n lackz respect n even 4get d normz n virtuez of a lady, We see some NL sist who talk ill bcoz dey receive some thin change nd tag themselve independent ladies, lol, except some very few who wit all dis dey re still humble n full of respect, anyway God will help them nd Us all,

That is what you I am talking about. Let the so called independent women keep their heads low. At least that will reduce the rate of home violence and divorce.

degubi:
People behave the way they do because its who they are. Even if they are not successful they will still act in the same manner. The secret is to avoid the ones who make your life a living hell.

That is a different ball game. If you are poor and have bad mouth "Na your own worst pass"

Mrs, Chima:
The original topic to this thread is THE MORE INDEPENDENT A WOMAN BECOMES, THE MORE DIFFICULT IT IS TO FIND A HUSBAND.

This applies that a woman can't be independent and have a husband. That is why I said what I said. I am independent, have my own career, and married. The statement the poster claimed is invalid because independent has nothing to do with CAREER or MONEY. It is an adjective describing who the person is. The definition of independent is classified as not depending on another for x, y , and z.

Try to read the link I posted with this topic. I said it is difficult to find a husband. What i called "real man". I did't say it is impossible to get married if you are independent. It is the type of women who are ready to rubb their progress on their husbands faces at little opportunity that we are worried about.

If you tell me that with your career, that you still give your husband the amount of respect he needs from you, such that he hardly complains, then you are among the 1% of career women that exist. The other 99% of career women are arrogant.