₦airaland Forum

pro01:
^^

Nwanyi Oma. I hope that is your true orientation in 'real life'. If only more women were like that. But to be very honest, I wish all HUMANS were like that. People worship money too much (especially in Nigeria) - fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, friends, neighbours, even in the churches and elsewhere. God help us.

Concerning the topic, one thing that just came to my mind is that the kind of woman that would happily marry a broke man, and remain truly happy afterwards  is one that doesn't really care about material things. Incredible as it sounds, there are indeed women (less than 1%) who really do not care about riches and comfort. All they want is a quiet life with a man they love whether they live in a hut or in a mansion. I've realized that the women who marry struggling guys they 'love' in the hope that such guys might become millionaires in the near future (because of supposed 'prospects' and whatnot) are the ones likely to become disillusioned when things don't work out as envisaged. It is therefore often best for a woman to lower her future expectations in that regard. _ _ _ _ _


---------- As such, any woman that chooses to marry a broke guy whom she truly loves should do so without banking on his 'prospects' or hopes for future riches. Life has no guarantees. Just marry and hope for the best while also expecting the worst - with the mindset of 'I love him so much that I'd rather suffer happily with him, than enjoy unhappily with someone else'. A woman that ordinarily craves the good things of life (fine cars, lovely houses, expensive jewellery and clothes, vacations, and other vanities) but hooks up a poor man because of supposed 'love' and 'prospects' is sure to sooner or later start frustrating his life, cheating on him, and humiliating him if he doesn't achieve the expected financial breakthrough soon enough. I know that for a fact.

bhusayor:
hmnn,what a wonderful write up,but i doubt if any lady can get married to a poor man without such expectations,everybody wants a good life,  not just for yourself but for your kids and the one you love as well, thats why any lady  who considers marrying a poor man does so because he has prospects and all and she has it at the back of her mind that its definitely gonna get better. Love alone isnt enough to sustain marriage.

roymary:
@Poster

Diary of a confused man. Why would your friend choose humiliation? No money= no marriage! This is not the girls calling, but how is he going to run the house without cash?

Seriously, don't marry if you don't have money.In this context, your age don't count one bit.

The point of it is, everyone has PREFERENCE even you.  If you have a stipulation on what type of woman you will not marry or will marry how come the woman can't have stipulation of what type of man she want or will not marry. 

What make your PREFERENCE any better than hers even if you think it is ridiculous?  Exactly, you can't. 

So again, if you won't marry a barren woman why should a woman marry a broke man?  Preferences are NEVER SIMILAR and everybody has them.  REGARDLESS IF YOU AGREE WITH THE PREFERENCE OR NOT. 


I wonder why the men getting upset with women not wanting broke men when they have SOME OF THE STUPIDIEST poo they will not marry for.  Get off of it people.

Mrs.Chima:
You need to tighten up your game NEGRO.  Not one time I said Broke=Barren.  If you need help with your quoting skills.  Let me help you.

Now, REGARDLESS IF YOU AGREE WITH IT OR NOT----my statement still stand .  So you can either cry over it or move the bleep on.

sashaa:
Ah, hah, i just thought of something here. what do u all have to say about men that marry for physical beauty? Aren't they the same as women that marry for money?

Please, note that i ain't in support of neither.

Mrs.Chima:
The point of it is, everyone has PREFERENCE even you.  If you have a stipulation on what type of woman you will not marry or will marry how come the woman can't have stipulation of what type of man she want or will not marry.  

What make your PREFERENCE any better than hers even if you think it is ridiculous?  Exactly, you can't.  

So again, if you won't marry a barren woman why should a woman marry a broke man?  Preferences are NEVER SIMILAR and everybody has them.  REGARDLESS IF YOU AGREE WITH THE PREFERENCE OR NOT.  


I wonder why the men getting upset with women not wanting broke men when they have SOME OF THE STUPIDIEST poo they will not marry for.  Get off of it people.

Tinax:
yes we all know that no condition is permanent, But how will you feel, Fathers,mothrs,brothers,uncles, etc. if after spending huge resources traing a girl in schl and she comes home one day with a 17k salary earnr as her husband to be.Bet you'll look her twice and ask her to do beter, abeg make all the posters condemin the girl answer me quick, quick. Lets tell ourselves the truth, the guy should think of beterin his life first befor proposin. I even see him as a lazy man 33yrs and yet can't lay his hands on something reasonabl,is it at 40 that he'll sit up. thats why i like my igbo brothr,him for don entr mushin go hustle and be happy to get a girl who is ready to spend the money wt him happily,  i don talk finish!!

Mrs.Chima:
Not everybody are spiritual nor into God.

chaircover:
When my husband and I got married he didn't have a car, Infact our first car was a £550 banger LOL. When we had our baby, we couldn't afford to buy a cot. Baby and I slept on the bed while hubby slept on one of my wrappers on the floor. I rememebr that My mum bought our first freezer 

And although this is very personal, I am sharing this story so that someone somewhere who is probably at crossroads can seek encouragement from it and make a wise decision.

I married my husband because he was a good kind man of integrity and a hardworking man with prospects and of course I loved him. People said all sorts at the time but I didnt listen some even called him a gold digger. Today I am enjoying that decision. He is a husband, brother, father, friend all rolled into one.

Today he earns much much more than I earn, I only work part time (he told me to reduce my hours & to stop stressing myself) and I now run a business that I enjoy.  He is still the dependable solid man that I married back then and he treats me like an equal rather than a gloried slave.

Yesterday afternoon we were our shopping for light fittings for our new house and I was looking at the prices before choosing, (Ijebu to the core that I am) but he noticed it and he just said to me "just pick what you really like . . . don't look at the prices, I am paying"
If I were to be a glorified slave he would go ahead and buy whatever he wants without it even crossing his mind to consult me.

Dont get me wrong, It has been an uphill struggle and there were times that we went without but eventually if you both muck in together and with the grace & favour of God, you will eventually get there.

What I have noticed is that it is here in the romance section that you see " I cant do this for any man" " I cant cook for my boyfriend" "he has to be rich" etc but the reality is that these same people pop up 3 years later in the family section with a new ID saying that their husbands don't treat them well.

If anyone here has a broke but good boyfriend/fiance, please do not throw him away but help him to grow. It will be a tough struggle but you will both reap the reward in the long run.

shooze:
Lol. Oya oh how many of you will marry a woman you know is barren. Afterall love accepts all

Mrs.Chima:
I guess because the men sorry arse want a woman to feel sorry for him enough to marry him.

IF a man won't marry a barren woman, why would a woman marry a broke man? Let be real people.

swintec:
Why is Mrs Chima looking for whom to marry in this thread that was put up to discuss serious problem men face

shooze:
Thank u lex87 as someone pointed out how much does the girl earn. Let's assume she earns 15k so the joint income is 32k. I laugh in swahili .not marrying guy who earns 17k does not make u a gold digger just a realist. I would never marry a man earning 17k and I don't intend to marry an adenuga either I want a man who at least meets me halfway. As I said earlier what happens if the guy never makes it I am sure love will not turn into garri. We often act as if poverty = good man meanwhile na lie. If any man earning 17k comes my way and proposes marriage na cane I go use flog am.
And to those who will come with no wonder you are not married angle whatever . I am engaged to a man who is at least comfortable. Instead of the guy to sort himself out he wants to marry marry ko marry ni

aminalib:
If i loved him i would eventually marry him, i would however tell him that he should go back to school for a better skill, age is a number, it means nothing when u are trying to accomplish goals(IMO) as long as you never stop trying. I make my own money with or without him i will be ok, even with his income it could help also. So if he decides to go back to school and change his career i would. I never understand why people go to school to do sociology, phychology and all these liberal arts, when at the end of the day it pays u NOTHING,(US based point of view) unless u plan to get a masters or beyond and still that is not guaranteed. I have a cousin that went to school for ARTS and now has a student loan of 50,000 USD and he has a job that pays 10.00 an hour, what a waste.

i know a couple of buddies that studied Political science in here in the U.S but went down to Nigeria and are both currently managing branches of commercial banks in Lagos. it's called connection, it's all about who you know, not what you know.

SOPRANO:
lol, this just prove my point that most women marry men for "comfort and Financial Gains", like a friend always say, 90% of women has a price-tag.

@ OP
       
         It's a sad predicament indeed. You indicated that your buddy read sociology, If he's in Lagos, I can make a few calls if he does not mind working for the state govt in Alausa, Ikeja. I'm not promising anything, but some high echelon of the govt owes me a few favor. Things might turn up. All the best.[b][/b]

baba77:
dnt ever make d mistake of getting married because of "age is not on my side" without a stable means of income. marital relationship is very frustrating without money; no matter d amount of love involve. so my advice is to please, sit, think of what u believe u can do as in skills, set up a trade/business, package and believe it is well with prayers instead of staying wt d 17k job dat is not half enof 4 u not to talk of girlfriend/wife.

When it comes to money, woman na woman o my brother there4, settle yr financial life first b4 embarking on marital journey.

All d best

Pweety4me:
[color=#550077]What's the necessity here? getting married or getting a good paying Job?[/color]

Natudu:
Na wa o! What is the place of love in this relationship? Isn't real love supposed to be supportive and ''blind''?

Now for proper naija sense. If na me, i go bone the girl continue dey find work. Wen i get beta work, me go look for beta girl join.

Dis kain chic wey no wan marry your friend sake of say im no hol. Na beta girl be dat? What if your guy coins emaciate tomorrow, dis kain girl no go remove leave am?

Abeg, leave mata for mathaias. How many people get better job for naija now sef. Abi una no dey hear of minimun wage eh? Una think say na for newspaper e dey exist?

ChinenyeN:
I doubt if this revolutionary trend will really hit Nigeria in such a way that 'Biafra' will be actualized.

greateros:
As a young fully titled igbo chief from the homeland, I believe we should not make the mistake of breaking away. the entire Igboland cannot even contain our population. We are actually meant to be Nigerians.

Nigeria as a nation is naturally meant to be one. i guess that is why when you are in a foreign land, no matter the part of Nigeria you are from, we are easily identified as a Nigerian not a Ghanaian , nor a Cameroonian no matter how hard we try to cover our Nigerian background, it always show.

p.wiz:
OP send his CV may be i cn be of help

bhusayor:
In a situation like this,it depends on what you want and the guy in question,i mean the other qualities he has.I can still be in a relationship with him hopin and encouraging him that things will get better but i wont venture into marriage without financial security,@least to an extent,certain things have to be in place before marriage sets in, and to your question,even if age is not on my side,i wouldnt just leave him and then go for go for an already made man who i dont knw much about