₦airaland Forum

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener

Back in the day we had "secret admirers", now a days we call them "stalkers".

Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?

I know your ugly but don't you think your overdoing it?

I'd fake blindness to touch u inappropriately.

I thought you were cute till I actually clicked on your facebook pic. You fooled me ugly.


Your not unattractive, your just pretty in a way I can't appreciate.

Minnie said to Mickey "I want a divorce." He said are you fucking crazy"?. . . She said no "I'm fucking goofy"

Ugly is such a harsh word. I'll just call you "beautifully-challenged."

MENopause, MENstrual cramps, MENtal illness, Ever notice that all our problems begin with MEN?

Every girl has the right to have an ugly day but seriously ur abusing the privilege.

Mirrors don't talk & lucky for u they don't laugh either.if not

Don't let affection give you an infection, put some protection on that erection.

You're so ugly your imaginary friend plays with other kids.

Husband & wife arrive in heaven Wife says "together again" Husband says "F.uck that! The deal was till death do us part. B.itch, I'm single!

share you thoughts on any you've come across

A best friend is someone who is totally aware of how retarded u are but still manages to be seen in public with u.

We all have slow moments yours is just longer than others.

You have one advantage over me: you can kiss my ass and I can't.

Laughter is a Smile with the volume turned up

Congratulations, you are officially proof that murder should be legalized. Support the legalization of exterminating idiots!

People like you are the reason why people like me take medication.

A strong person knws how 2 keep their life in order, even with tears in their eyes, they still manage 2 say "i'm ok" with a smile.



, share those your have seen or come across

Don't think of yourself as an ugly person, think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

I believe in love at first sight, which is exactly why i stopped looking homeless people in the eyes. Just cant risk it.

Rearrange the letters in "woman Hitler" and you get "mother in law". Coincidence? I think not.

If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.

Its not despoil, I call it surprise sex.

I hate when someone has a facebook pic with more than one person in it & their always the ugly one. No wonder you like group pixs.

I had a wet dream about you last night. I dreamt you got hit by a bus and pissed myself laughin.

told a girl she drew her eyebrows on too high,  she looked pretty surprised.

When your single all the couples look happy,  when your in a relationship all the singles look happy.

Kodak and Nikon are creating a camera with a shutter speed so fast that it can actually capture a woman with her mouth shut.

People say nothing is impossible, I disagree, try describing a color to a blind person.

I'm actually not funny, I'm just really mean and people think I'm kidding.

I am the author of my life, unfortunately I'm writing in pen and I'm unable to erase my mistakes

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.

I had a wet dream about you last night. I dreamt you got hit by a bus and pissed myself laughin.

A relationship is like a plant needing the TRUTH to grow, you starve your relationship by lying, it'll eventually die.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Life is a question, nobody can answer it & Death is an answer, nobody can question.

My heart was taken by you, broken by you, and now it is in pieces because of you

Love is like falling down, in the end you're left hurt, scarred, and with a memory of it forever.

can't really tell if you are really flirting with me, or just being extra friendly.

when a girl says "its okay", "I'm fine", or "don't worry about it", you should know its not really okay,

An "EX" is called an "EX" because it's an Example of who you shouldn't date in the future.

Love me or hate me, both are in my favor. If u love me, I'll always be in your heart, if u hate me, I'll always be in your mind.

A real man doesn't love a million girls. He loves one girl in a million ways.

Too bad I can't set my hopes too high, 'cause every hello ends with goodbye.

If practice makes perfect, and there is no such thing as perfect, why practice?

Always FORGIVE your enemies. Nothing annoys them more!

"To lead people, walk beside them, When the best leader's work is done the people say, 'We did it ourselves!'"

‎"If I can't have you, at least i was able to know I HAD you."

The difference between “like”, “love”, and “in love” is the same with “for now”, for a while”, and “forever.”

‎, If I don't have a purpose in my life, I will make YOUR life, a living hell.

when you wake up you are guaranteed death, taxes and problems. But life is 10% what happened to u, and 90% how u respond 2 it.

Ever look at your ex and think: "was i drunk our whole relationship!!!??!"

If I was a teacher, id make every answer on a test "A" just to see a bunch of kids panic.

Girls care about where their man is going in the future Guys care about where their girl has been in the past.

Ever Heard about the device that converts thoughts into speech, It's called Alcohol.

I-L-O-V-E-Y-O-U has eight letters, but baby, so does B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T.

Who puts LOL, ROFL or LMAO knowing damn well you're sittin there with a straight face

A long journey always begins with words: 'I think I know a shortcut'.

I hate when people put 'loool'. what are you? laughing out out out loud?

Your so fake, your birth certificate says 'Made in China'

H.A.T.E.R.S= Having Anger Towards Everyone Reaching Success.

You hold the key to my heart, too bad i changed the lock!

Never steal, the government hates competition.

I may look calm, but in my head ive killed you three times.

You're so broke, you can't even pay attention.

Why don't you go slip into something a little more relaxing, Like a coma.

Everyone has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privelege.

My key -- simple. I NEVER, ever give up. I simply out run failure in time. Fear is only a sprinter w/flash. I am a long distance runner.

If you didn't see it with ur own eyes or hear it with ur own ears, don't think it with ur small mind and spread it with ur big mouth!

I hate weddings cuz everytime an old person see's u they poke u and say "hey your next" so I started doing the same to them at funerals.

Osama Binladen: World Champion of Hide and Seek since 2001.

Men are like commercials: sound good but you know its false advertisement.

Your constant online declarations that you have the 'greatest boyfriend ever' is making me really wish that he cheats on you.

I read my own palm today, it said i was going to slap you.

An elephant is talking to a camel. "why do you have 2 boobs om your back?" the camel replies "says the person with a dick in his face, "

Thought you were hit with the ugly stick, but u were gang raped by the entire forest.

When you catch a fish and release it, does go back and tell it's friends it was abducted by alien?

A friend is one who can see the truth and pain in you when you're fooling everyone else.

Does this dress make me look fat?, No, your fat makes you look fat

A wife says to her husband, " I feel fat and ugly, give me a compliment.", He says, "bitch u have perfect vision"

I have an amazing ability! I find objects just before people lose them. The police, however, call it theft.

Never share your problems with anyone, cause 20% don't care and 80% are glad you have them.

You remind me of my Chinese friend, Ug Lee.

Your teeth are so messed up they look like Chinese letters.

A man traveling with six children, "all these kids are yours?" man replies "no, i work in a condom factory and these are customer complaints"

I was going to give you a nasty look, but I see you already have one.

There's just no pleasing women, you give them an inch and they want eight.

Its funny how everybody who supports abortion has already been born.

I may look calm and I'm smiling but somewhere in my brain I'm holding a chainsaw.

I could eat my watch, but that would be time consuming.

Whoever said money dosen't grow on trees, never grew marijuana.

What mirror do some of these people look in when they call themselves pretty?

Love- a kind of amnesia that makes a woman forget that there's still 1.2 billion men left in the world.

A bank is a place that will loan you money if you can prove you don't need it.

Dude, I watch all the CSI's, Ncis and Criminal Minds. I can make your death look like an accident.

GUY: would u wear gloves if u didnt have hands? GIRL: no?? GUY: then why do u wear a bra?

Why when your wife gets pregnant, everyone rubs her belly & says "congrats!" But nobody rubs your d**k and says "Good Job"?

Ever notice how 99% of the time, your EX gets uglier after you break up?

When life shuts a door, just break in through the window.

When I was a kid, my mom told me I could be anybody I wanted to be. Turns out the cops call it identity theft.

Some people are only alive because its illegal to kill them.

I hate it when clothes look better on the hanger than they do on your body.

Your pretty, At night, Miles away, In a cave, Behind a wall, to a blind person.

Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

People say I have a dirty mind, but then again, if THEY don't, how did they understand what I was saying.

I like to be in the background since everyone wants to stand out.

You are nothing but broken dreams and empty promises.

I wish Facebook had a "slap" button .

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

I see a fly following you so I automatically assume you smell like shit.

Abortion doesn't make u unpregnate. It makes u the mother of a dead baby.

Be very nice to a person that smokes, every cigarette might be their last.

Life would be so much easier if you could just Google someone, and see them naked, to know what you were getting into.


more,

fredoooooo:
dont mind that man jare , hes running on a runnig machine thinking hes moving ,

funny

adebayo479:
God bless you! Am still asking the same question. Where is Alao-Akala?

still in the good books of the president

@poster, I can assure you that i am okay and definately not high, although its an assumption, prove it you aint the coloured guy involved.
@michelin, his address say bankok which i guess is the capital of the country the supposed story happened.

Cheap in the whole of the universe? Nah, those in my hood charge 250box and you get a discount of 100 Naira when its midnight.

THIS ISNT GOODBYE, west life , i think.
SEPARATED, usher.

@ poster, dont tell me you did that to your girlfriend.