₦airaland Forum

This is something I've been thinking about lately, and I'd like to hear different opinions.

These days, many people say love isn't enough. They believe that if someone isn't financially stable, they shouldn't even think about dating. Others argue that everyone starts somewhere and that it's better to build a future together than to wait until life is perfect.

Personally, I think "potential" is different from empty promises.

There's a difference between someone who is genuinely hardworking, focused, and making progress in life, even if they don't have much money yet, and someone who simply keeps saying, "My time will come," without putting in any real effort.

If you met someone who treated you well, respected you, had clear goals, and was actively working towards them, but wasn't financially comfortable yet, would you give the relationship a chance?

Or would you rather wait until the person is already established before getting involved?

Some people have built beautiful marriages from nothing. Others have invested years in someone with "potential" only to end up heartbroken.

So where do you stand?

Would you date someone who has potential but no money yet? More importantly, what makes you believe someone truly has potential and isn't just selling dreams?

Let's discuss.

I've been thinking about something lately.

A lot of Nigerians between the ages of 22 and 25 genuinely feel like they've already failed in life. Some are still in school, some have graduated but can't find jobs, while others are doing jobs that barely cover transportation.

Then you open social media and see people your age buying cars, building houses, travelling abroad, launching businesses, or posting about six-figure monthly income. Whether everything you see is real or not, it's hard not to compare yourself.

Our parents' generation often tells us that they had already settled down or started raising families at this age. But today's reality is different. The cost of living has increased, unemployment is high, and opportunities seem much harder to come by.

I also think many young people are under pressure to "make it" quickly. If you're 23 or 24 and you're still trying to figure things out, society can make you feel like you're running out of time.

But is that really true? Is 22–25 actually late to succeed, or have social media and unrealistic expectations changed how we measure success?

I'd like to hear different opinions.

Why do you think so many young Nigerians feel they're already behind before they even turn 25?
Is the economy the biggest factor, or are we putting too much pressure on ourselves?
If you're older than 25, what advice would you give someone who feels like life isn't moving fast enough?

Barteze:
I strongly recommend you take his advice very serious because I wanted to advice you likewise but when I read his piece I decided to hold on and read comments since it is widely believed that a word is enough for the wise and I was happy when you reacted to it though I am not surprised with your stance because towards the end of your write up it became clear to me that you weren't seeking for advice per se but validation.
Just heed his advice whatever life you want to experience I can assure you you will still experience even much more when leave school even better with good grades (na them go rush you) but if you lose focus by entangling yourself with a jealous woman......... Ghe ghe words come to mind.

thanks ❤️

MIKOLOWISKA:
no corruption in military abi

corruption comes with a consequence but with democracy rule, it doesn't.

Richdee1:
Social work would always beat it, I'm a graduate of social work awaiting service
Please I need guide to get Funded scholarship for msc social work abroad
Make I dey prepare

Good evening. How has life been since then?

I've been thinking about dimensions lately, and I came up with a theory. I'm not claiming this is scientifically proven, it's simply a thought experiment that I'd like to discuss.

Imagine a 1-dimensional world.

A being in this world can only move forward and backward. It has no concept of left, right, up, or down. If you suddenly lifted it into another direction, it wouldn't even have the vocabulary to describe what happened.

Now imagine a 2-dimensional world, like a sheet of paper.

The inhabitants can move left, right, forward, and backward, but they have no concept of "up." If a 3D human placed a finger through their world, they wouldn't see a finger. They would only see a strange circle that appears, grows, shrinks, and disappears. To them, it might look supernatural.

Now consider us in 3D.

We experience length, width, and height. We naturally assume this is the complete picture because this is all our senses evolved to perceive.

But here's where my theory begins.

What if humans are to a 4-dimensional being exactly what a drawing is to us?

A 2D creature cannot imagine "up."

Likewise, perhaps humans cannot imagine the fourth spatial dimension, not because it doesn't exist, but because our brains evolved to survive, not to perceive everything that exists.

If such beings existed, they might:

Enter locked rooms without opening the door.

See the inside of every object at once.

Observe every side of a cube simultaneously.

Appear and disappear instantly from our perspective.

Manipulate our world without violating the laws of physics from their own perspective.


To us, these actions would seem impossible or even miraculous.

Here's another thought.

Imagine someone living inside a video game. The character believes the game world is everything. They cannot imagine the player holding the controller outside their universe.

Could our universe be similar?

Maybe the fourth dimension isn't "time." Maybe it's another direction that our brains simply cannot process.

Here's my personal theory:

Every dimension believes it is complete until evidence of a higher dimension becomes impossible to ignore.



A 1D being cannot imagine 2D.

A 2D being cannot imagine 3D.

So why are we so confident that 3D is the highest level of reality?

Perhaps intelligence isn't limited by dimensions, only perception is.

I'm curious to hear what others think.

Do you believe higher spatial dimensions could exist?

If they do, would we even be capable of detecting them?

Is consciousness itself connected to dimensions we don't yet understand?

helinues:
Imagine, you can't even answer your own questions directly.

Is your question about enjoyment or improved lives?

enjoyment is the same thing as improvised life. the enjoyment I meant in this context are merely basic human amenities. imagine a country where eating chicken is considered luxury meanwhile it is supposed to be a bare minimum.

Sheuns:
Let’s do a simple math.

Military rule had a total of about 29 years since the first Military coup of 1966.

Before then we had 6 years of Democracy. From 1999 till date makes it 27 years.

Democracy or civilian rule has had more years than military rule in Nigeria.

1960 - 1966 6
1979-1983 4
1999-2026 27

Total civilian rule in Nigeria comes to 37 years.

Military rule
1966-1979 13
1993-1999 16

Total 29 years.

A very large percentage of the infrastructure in Nigeria today were built under military rule. I can name a few

1. All four refineries
2. National theater in Lagos
3. Aso Villa
4. The National Assembly complex
5. MMA Airport
6. Third mainland bridge
7. Marina House Lagos
8. Almost all the bridges in Lagos were built by the military
9. FESTAC Lagos.

Under the military regime, we had a stronger currency and more stable economy than we have now. There was also some sort of decorum.

I strongly agree with this. 👍

helinues:
You could have led the way by talking about your personal experience with the past and present president of Nigeria

Has your life improved or things are still stagnant?

I haven't enjoy a bit of this so called democracy, I think it's biggest flaw which is corruption, embezzlement and fund mismanagement are what is drawing us back.

i don't believe heaven, hell, or an afterlife objectively exist. to me, they're human created concepts, stories or myths that help shape moral behavior and social order. Religion, in that sense, has historically served as a way to restrain humanity's and encourage people to act ethically.

meobizy:
Awwnn, puppy love. She wants to see how much she can control you. So young, so naive. Both of you.

Enjoy the relationship while it lasts. One of you will get tired around the three-month mark.

I'm already thinking of flinging her away

On May 29, 1999, Nigeria returned to democratic rule after years of military dictatorship. There was renewed hope that democracy would bring accountability, economic growth, respect for human rights, improved infrastructure, quality education, better healthcare, and a higher standard of living for the average Nigerian.

More than two decades later, it is fair to ask a difficult but necessary question:

Has democracy truly delivered on its promises to ordinary Nigerians?

There is no doubt that democracy has brought significant gains. Today, Nigerians enjoy greater freedom of speech than under military rule. Citizens can openly criticize government policies, political parties compete in elections, civil society organizations have grown stronger, and the media plays a more active role in holding leaders accountable. We have also witnessed peaceful transfers of power between political parties, something that was once considered almost impossible.

However, many Nigerians would argue that these democratic achievements have not translated into meaningful improvements in their daily lives.

Despite abundant natural and human resources, millions continue to struggle with rising inflation, unemployment, poverty, poor electricity supply, insecurity, inadequate healthcare, underfunded education, deteriorating roads, and a high cost of living. For many families, survival has become more difficult despite living under a democratic system.

This raises an important question:

Is Nigeria's biggest problem democracy itself, or the quality of leadership and institutions managing the democratic process?

Some believe democracy has failed because elections often prioritize money, ethnicity, religion, and political loyalty over competence and integrity. Others argue that democracy is not the problem; rather, weak institutions, corruption, lack of accountability, and poor governance have prevented the country from enjoying its full benefits.

It is also worth asking whether the average Nigerian has become more politically conscious since 1999. Are we now voting based on competence and policy, or are identity politics and vote-buying still determining election outcomes?

Perhaps democracy is not a destination but a continuous process that requires active citizens, independent institutions, transparent elections, and leaders who genuinely prioritize national development over personal interests.

As we reflect on Nigeria's democratic journey, we should move beyond party affiliations and ask ourselves one honest question:

If democracy is government of the people, by the people, and for the people, why do so many ordinary Nigerians still feel disconnected from the benefits of governance?

Nairalanders, if you had to score Nigeria's democracy since 1999 on a scale of 1 to 10, what score would you give it? More importantly, what are the reasons behind your score?

Let's keep the discussion respectful, factual, and focused on ideas rather than insults. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, and we can disagree without being disrespectful.

Nairalander248:
Why not concentrate with your books?

The two, (relationship and academics) can co exist

VinnyBaba:
Relationship Drama.

The last time I was involved in such, Tafawa Shagari was Governor of Nigeria.

God

Sonnobax15:

Na so school relationship dey sweet at first

Na the first battalion of carry-over go humble una

Nevertheless,bro, focus on your studies cuz that's the main reason you were sent to school. Funny enough,most of the relationships that are done in school don't usually go beyond the 4 corners of the school, especially after graduation. So what's the essence of wasting away your time on something that'll only be good at destroying your future

Bro, discard that banny and focus on your studies. No be advice be this bro,. Na serious warning.

thanks for the advice, but imagine finishing uni without experiencing any relationship, it doesn't actually make sense. even though the goal is to put academics over everything, building social, platonic and even sexually relationship in school is perfectly fine.

Good day, Nairalanders.

I'm a student in a Nigerian university. I've been dating my girlfriend for a little over a year. We attend the same school but we're in different departments.

The problem started this semester because most of my group assignments and presentations involve female coursemates. We have a WhatsApp group, and sometimes we stay after lectures to work on assignments together.

Recently, my girlfriend said she doesn't like how close I seem to them. She asked me to stop chatting with any female classmate unless it's "absolutely necessary." She even suggested I should only work with male students whenever possible.

I explained that university doesn't work that way. Sometimes you're randomly assigned to groups, and refusing to work with people because they're women would make me look immature and could even affect my grades.

She insists that if I truly love her, I should create boundaries. I agree that boundaries are important, but I also feel she's asking for something unrealistic.

We've argued about it several times now, and it's beginning to affect our relationship.

Nairalanders, am I being insensitive, or is my girlfriend being insecure? How would you handle this situation if you were in my shoes?

Amotolongbo:
Maybe she wanted to borrow a pen from you or notebook.
Stop assuming

I'm not assuming... I heard her friend making jest of her... "can never be me. she later consoled her and I felt bad fr, I wish I can make it up to her but unfortunately it is too late. it just feel weird my course mate hitting on me when we are no longer in 100lv. it feels weird.

funny things is ijgb to nairaland. I don't even know how it works now. this is my post after like two years. I just want to enjoy it here

meobizy:
Go and make yourself busy. You’re in school. Nairaland is for losers.

something happened in class that has stayed with me. i was seated, facing the front, trying to follow the lecture. there were two girls behind me talking and laughing, but i wasn’t paying attention to them.
after a while, one of them tapped me lightly. it wasn’t painful, so i ignored it. she apologized, and i thought that was the end of it. later, she tapped me again and said hi. i turned back, and she asked for my name. i didn’t respond. i just turned back to face the front.
i wasn’t trying to be rude or act proud. i was honestly confused and caught off guard. we’re no longer in 100 level, and in my mind, that phase of random socializing with course mates was already past. i didn’t expect anything romantic from someone in my class, especially someone i had never spoken to before.
after that, i heard her friend joking with her, and that’s when it hit me that she might have been serious. i noticed her mood change, and that part stayed with me. i realized it probably took a lot of courage for her to approach me, and my silence may have made her feel embarrassed.
when i really think about it, it wasn’t pride that made me act that way. it was insecurity. i didn’t want any department wahala or unnecessary attention, and i didn’t want my name being talked about in class. i chose silence because i didn’t know how to handle the moment.
i don’t have romantic feelings for my course mates anymore, but i never wanted to hurt anyone. even if she never forgives me, i know in my heart that i’m truly sorry. it was a moment of fear, misunderstanding, and bad timing not bad intentions.

Lucystarr:
Don't like k*ssing
No experience

so you just allow a man hit the G spot without kissing and romancing you?

Kingjbase:
Na mami water you dey kiss ooo

swears. She even seized my dick. It's a long story

aisha1314:
Nope. And I don't think I ever will. In my opinion, anal is for gay men. And besides it has health risks.

which school do you attend please?

Rahkman:
Real gees get stand by pep cream pie the pussy and watch it flow like a boss

vasline crew spotted.

Zxcvbnmghtr:
I have mouth odour.

tender your evidence

skj1377:
Oga, I don't like using condom and am a guy. In my case i take my time to select a girl then we do some basic lab test on my bill. Usually I get them tight and clean this way. It's expensive though.

i will rather masturbate than spending huge money on lab test. You go clean kpekus finish nah another guy go enjoy am las las. Lab test my foot p

Reminderz:
run oo, she's either trying to give you that HIV or she wants to pin you with pregnancy or fake one... it's a cheap manipulation tactic that...

run oo, and run away from fornication in general if you love your life... but if you don't, continue...

na that pregnancy part i dey fear. I don't0 want her to ruin my career

Zxcvbnmghtr:
Simply because majority of you guys can't afford to buy good quality condoms. It's simple as that.

so kiss condom isn't good enough?
Which product should we use then?

VinnyBaba:
Around 2012,

One KUDIRAT babe that her mother used to sell Agidi, Close to our House!🙁

When I kissed her, Her Spit and Mouth Taste like something Else! 😒🤨

I just removed my Lips, Focussed on the LOWER REGION and Tulele thereafter! 🏃🏃🏃

even the lower region stink. I remember a girl i fingerèd, my finger was smelling like a rotten fish. It was a huge turn of for me. t

Zxcvbnmghtr:
Better and not after all the worst.

narrate yours. Let's learn

I met this girl about a month ago but we started dating since lastweek thursday. So we planned to have fun yesterday. During the pre intemacy i brought out a coñdom she was like "for what"? Do you think i have HIV? Do yov take me for a runz girl? I tried to explain but my explainations fell on deaf ears.

She left after i insisted in using a condom. As for me i can't have sex without protection. I can't just do it.
My question is why do some girls hate using condom?

Zxcvbnmghtr:
So why did you choose to open a thread about your worst kiss? Does it make you feel good too?

just wanna read people's experience. I want to know if mine is better

Zxcvbnmghtr:
So narrate your best kiss experience. Make we hear.

it was with my ex, she attend the white garment church. That girl sabi kiss. I can't just explain the feeling is outta this world