₦airaland Forum

rigarmortis:
Hahahahahahahaha.

My mom was the first runz girl I fourked. Lol, it's possible I had a son with my mother but I don't really know because I am a herdsman. . But failure runs in my blood because I should have used a condom. The sec was bad though. Cos my mom has a bucked puxxy.

Painmemt you had to resort to stalking me >:

Lol.

Bless your simple soul. No offence

I pity clowns and losers like you. How could you write this about your late mother. What kind of disgusting loser are you? May your mum's soul continue to rest. This is sad for your family though.

rigarmortis:
Hahahahahahahaha.

Your mom was the first runz girl I fourked. Lol, it's possible your are my son . But failure doesn't run in our blood and I'm positive I used a condom. The sec was bad though. Cos your mom has a bucked puxxy.

Painmemt you had to resort to stalking me >:

Lol.

Bless your simple soul. No offence

You are telling us about your late mother's profession and that's why you are still looking for your father but now that your mother is dead, look for something better to do with your life. Ok, one kettle and show polish for you, Olodo

dannyrhymes600:
Lmfao
You wicked

Shut Up. You are the same loser with different handle. You are probably a loser yourself.

rigarmortis:
Hahahahahahahaha.

Your mom was the first runz girl I fourked. Lol, it's possible your are my son . But failure doesn't run in our blood and I'm positive I used a condom. The sec was bad though. Cos your mom has a bucked puxxy.

Painmemt you had to resort to stalking me >:

Lol.

Bless your simple soul. No offence

May your mother's soul rest in peace. She tried but couldn't save a born loser like you sha

indadi:
Hell everyone

So I decided to relocate to either the UK or US or any better country. I have my degree certificate and other certificates I think I may need but my problem is that I don't how to begin, where to start and I have nobody close to me that i can ask questions from please you answers are needed...

Just follow your heart and take time to look at and review all your options but immigrating to any Country where there's no close friend or relative is tough and challenging. I saw an opportunity years ago after 3 years of unemployment with no decent job and it has really paid off big time for me. Try contacting embassies of Countries of interest and see if there's some credible leads for you. Goodluck!

N.B: Just be careful so you don't get duped in the process.

rigarmortis:
Today is runzgirls day, wish them all good luck in their various projects.

Remember that if your girl is only available when you are boxed up, or asks you a favour and tries to batter s3x for it all the time.......you are dating one....the dangerous type.....the runzsgirlFRiend type.

Before you condemn, beware.

There are probably many 'runzgirls' in your family, are there? You come across as someone who has no respect for women. You probably have unresolved issues with your late mum. Stop writing rubbish. Damn

rigarmortis:
Even though i read many mystic books from lobsang rampa to new age books to various books on diverse religions, i have always been a little sceptical when it comes to manipulation of the spiritual to achieve some physical effect as shown by babalawos/marabouts/herberlists in nollywood movies. However recent events which i am witness to, leaves me flummoxed as to what to believe.

Lately there has been an upsurge in armed robbery where i stay (&^%$#@!&* estate, 5th avenue area, Abuja), security guards are mince meat for these guys, in fact you will be the one to untie the security guards in the morning and take them to the hospital after they must have had the living daylight beaten out of them and tied in a manner unfit for even sallah rams in dei dei cattle market.

Sometime ago, we sacked our security guards and replaced them with some ethnic militias who i wont want to mention here but who have a strong presence in the south west and known to use native charms like their counterparts in other regions, if is say O, you say P, another man say C see omo na you sabi..............just felt like singing.

After these aforementioned gentlemen were employed, the thieves took their business elsewhere, until some sorry, unfortunate group ventured into our compound, lo and behold it was the same set of unholy hoodlums who terrorised our neighbour a while back, we didn’t even hear much noise, i just peeped out of my window and behold one of these infamous gentlemen was dutifully sweeping the whole compound, even though he must have been sweeping for 1hour, the whole place was clean enough, but no!....he wont be deterred, he kept on sweeping.

Another one was outside the gate, from his gestures it was obvious that he was lost, he was in front of the gate, but kept feeling the air and glancing about like some long lost dog, another one that has succeeded in his endeavours to make his way in was inside the compound alright,........................but how will i describe this fellow, lets just say he is like a building with the lights on and no one home, kept stood like a soldier who has just saluted his superior, but has lost his mind the same instant, i mean, he just stared into space, he would occasionally make some movement, like knocking an imaginary fly off his brow or trying to kill a fire ant nesting deep in his underpants.

The last one of these unfortunate fellows was on all fours, making animal sounds, well not really animal sounds, goats on earth wont forgive me if i compare this guy to them, lets just say that if there are goats, dogs, cows and ram on Jupiter and Saturn, then they will be making a sound identical to this fellow, he will occasionally stand up, dust his clothes and you will think....ahaaa! he is ok!......but no!...as soon as you entertain such thoughts he will get back on all fours and continue the motions.

Now, we have three of these guards described above, only one was seen inside the compound, he was dutifully inspecting the lost, the absent minded, the street sweeper and the animal in human form actor, doing this with a nonchalant attitude, like a white man in southern USA circa 1856 inspecting his working slaves.

Neatly piled in a corner was a cutlass, some cowries, an axe, two dane guns and one saw off local pistols, all dutifully submitted by the lost souls currently busy with various endeavours at variance with what their original plan was. I later learnt that they put a charm by the gate, an anyone with a weapon and evil mind that ventures into the compound will immediately start doing whatever his base mind tells him.
Well, the other two guards were busy pursuing the lookout, immediately he saw the others behaving in an untoward manner at variance with the original script, he took to his heels and forgot about the brotherhood, afterall its not the marines, they do leave a man behind.

However this man was unlucky, he was being chased by runners faster that bolt, thunderbolt and usain combined, they guys were calling him to stop, he would stop, looking round, but as soon as they are about to approach him he will regain consciousness and take to his heels again, however he was eventually caught, he was struggling like a rat caught in a mousetrap, but he was eventually dragged to the to our compound, yes i mean dragged on the floor like some sack of rice, when he saw he was being dragged towards our compound, and as soon as he sighted the guy inspecting the others, he graduated from a mouse in a trap to a chicken with its head cut off, he struggled like mad, the guy didn’t even use force to subdue him, he just wore a ring, spat on the ring and slapped this homo sapiens, immediately he took the guy back in time to the stone ages, cavemen period, i mean....back to homo erectus, this guy started picking pebbles like some curious monkey, and eating them, not done with that he suddenly stood up, saw the gutter in draining our house into the street, and o!.....he suddenly became overjoyed!....he ran towards it, fell into the gutter with a smile, mouth agape and hand ready, before he landed in, he has started to scoop the contents into his mouth, thank goodness for his friend who had earlier cleaned the gutter for him, but alas, every inch hitherto missed by his companion was clean before you say jack robinson.

One of the guards moved closer and slapped him with another ring, saying something that sound like “abooo mu m’ole”.........the guy just went limp, he became so gentle, if not for his stone face and rasta goatee that gave him away as some crook, he was so gentle that you can give him your sister to marry, he started obeying instructions, one of the guards asked him in a not so gentle manner.....”oya bring yoo’ han’
For me maah tai”...the guy promptly presented his hands, neatly assembled to be tied behind him, i was stunned, it was like a kid doing something with much eagerness to please after being promised a parcel of sweets. “bring ya lehh’’....the guy stretched his leg in from of the guards, the two together, with so much joy and cooperation like a man promised good secx by his wife after agreeing to mow the lawn.

They guy became truthful as soon as he was tied, naming their gang, where stolen goods are kept etc.

Now i believe that the phenomenom hitherto known as jazz (no music) exist.

Due to this happening our neighbours decided to employ the set of gentlemen, they were immediately supplied with a fresh batch from lagos, after about two months the landlord refused to pay this guy, well the guy didn’t do much, he just put a small effigy (sigidi in Yoruba) in from of the guys house and travelled, the next day the guy prepared for work, attempted to leave his compound but as soon as he got to the gate, he shouted and stepped back, he said some invisible being was flogging him as he approached the gate, he tried again, same flogging, he didn’t go to work until he called them and gave them their money.

Convincing him to go to work afterwards was a major problem, he later went to work, came back and decided to sack the guys, i tell you, he was begging and explaining and pontificating, just to sack people in his employ.

The supernatural is real folks, for all the doubters on NL......very real.

HOW ELSE CAN YOU EXPLAIN.

What you wrote is sooo boring but fyi, there's nothing like 'even though' ok. Fake engineer and writer.

rigarmortis:
Lol. Serious painment. Ndo o.



Drop some plantain leaf on your moms grave today. Flowers are beyond your reach. Let her manage it

no offence

You do buy market be that. My curse will be added on your neck asap. Now, one bucket of cow urine for you! Oloriburuku oshi.

rigarmortis:
you are right on your second point, but thats another story totally bro. The thing is, if your currency is not backed by your economy and production, then knocking off all the zeros in the world wont stop it from inflating. and in the case of ghana, the cedi has worsened even more than the Naira.

if the cedi has gone from 1 cedi to 1 dollar after redomination to over 100cedi to 1$, that means it is now worse than it was before redomination.

I pity those who are taking junks like you seriously. Keep typing away your sorry life. Don't go and look for something meaningful to do with your useless almajiri life. Loser!

rigarmortis:
Be careful, and beware of character assassination during background check with the HR. Except you dont intend to use them as reference.

for the main time, be resepctful, write them an email or letter indicating that you intend to payment and your mode of repayment and how you intend to stretch it.

very important you document that.

if its an email, send to HR and copy the head of HR, if its letter make it is stamped.

very important bro

good luck

Go to school you declined and kept throwing stones at your teachers only to come here reason like a thug and a fake engineer. In the meantime, not for the main time. And what the f*ck is recepcful? Loser!

rigarmortis:
So you don't know that insecurity can't stay localised for long? Boko haram that was in the Borno area is now rampant in the NE. Gradually it has transformed to banditry and spread all over the North. Same with herdsmen crises that was in plateau state has come to the south. You think bandits will be satisfied to just capture the north only. Keep praising foolery

Be quiet. Your mumu is trekking on third mainland bridge with your useless reasoning. Keep waiting for bandits to recruit you. Don’t go and look for something reasonable to do, Olodo!

rigarmortis:


Plentiful Painment.

Its not my fault that Maggots and vultures ate your mom's rotten corpse for dinner. And you buried the leftover carcass in a dunghill.

You shouldn't have left her dead corpse on the streets now, yeah everyone knows she was mad and died like road kill jackass, but even dead dogs have owners for forkcs sake.

Painment Don dey make you ment. No offence

May your mother’ soul continue to rest in the Lord. Though you’re a Muslim and worthless, it’s not your mum’s fault that you’re a mumu and worthless. Oya, one burukutu and a shining kettle for you. May thunder set fire on your abunna there. Olodo!

What makes sense to you may not make sense for others. At least she’s honest!

In life, good things can still be rejected

Abami Eda wouldn't do that to anyone he didn't bleep. Someone need to do a dna ASAP

YoungRay007:
I remember when I visited Thailand last year, I noticed that Asian ladies were very beautiful and sexy. I slept with Indian, Chinese and Thai ladies. But it was the Japanese ladies that burst my head. Those ladies have a very tight pussy and standing brest, they cry out loud when I am banging them and this intensify the pleasure. Share your experience

We need more reasons why you were deported. Now, tell us the story how you almost carried that stuff for someone

rigarmortis:


painment

First, there is no word like painment and that is one of many reasons why your are a fake engineer. May your mum's soul rest in peace. Amen.
You are a loser and I will soon put a curse on you if you are not remorseful. Loser!

Hang out with women with brains so they don’t tell you there’s barbecue when you’re house is on fire �

rigarmortis:
So you don't know that insecurity can't stay localised for long? Boko haram that was in the Borno area is now rampant in the NE. Gradually it has transformed to banditry and spread all over the North. Same with herdsmen crises that was in plateau state has come to the south. You think bandits will be satisfied to just capture the north only. Keep praising foolery

Be Quiet Loser! You are yapping about bandits openly and privately waiting for them to enlist you the same tire promise of virgins after you die. Almajiri thugs like you will never stop amazing progressive Nigerians. Now, large kiwi polish and a kettle for you. Olodo!

rigarmortis:
[s]I slightly disagree with you bro, revolutionary movements are initiated by the masses, legitimate citizens of the country who are fed up, this one is done by criminals who dont differentiate from poor or rich. Imagine that the olufon of ifon was kidnapped and killed at the same spot and nothing was done till today, now it has happened again.

This is like an incentive for criminals to continue[/s]

Shut up! What do you know about revolution when you have been attacking Nnamdi Kanu and Igbo people from your hut. Just be quiet because you are a loser, Ok?

rigarmortis:
[s]So you don't know that insecurity can't stay localised for long? Boko haram that was in the Borno area is now rampant in the NE. Gradually it has transformed to banditry and spread all over the North. Same with herdsmen crises that was in plateau state has come to the south. You think bandits will be satisfied to just capture the north only. Keep praising foolery[/s]

Be Quiet. Fake engineer. Keep shining shoes as an wait for your enlistment as a bandit. Loser!

rigarmortis:
I see that your mom as finally dashed you #200 to buy cheap data after selling her "meat" to various drunk men? It's been a while, no one wants to buy "meat" from an ugly old hag anymore. Please you thr data wisely, Google 20 ways to make money online, you can also Google 1000 ways to die.

Yes o, we know that you are in the aloof inugo. When that nmkpulu nmiri wears off you will know ablood is not that same as okpoko. Enjoy your high

Like I stated earlier, may the soul of your poor mother continue to rest in peace. It's only a worthless son that will write about other mothers. You are a born and frustrated loser and that is why you yap about other people. Time is running out for you and that your Yahoo business. You will be roasted like corn soon. Oloriburuku oshi!

rigarmortis:
I see that your mom as finally dashed you #200 to buy cheap data after selling her "meat" to various drunk men? It's been a while, no one wants to buy "meat" from an ugly old hag anymore. Please you thr data wisely, Google 20 ways to make money online, you can also Google 1000 ways to die.

Yes o, we know that you are in the aloof inugo. When that nmkpulu nmiri wears off you will know ablood is not that same as okpoko. Enjoy your high

The moment you mentioned me was the same moment you okayed that you will never rest here at Nairaland. After me, you are gonna have to think twice before mentioning Nairalanders again. So, losers like you will always be loser ok.

Another loser looking for relevance and contract. Next, he will say that he was misquoted.

Anambra election was the most difficult ever because they didn't accept the #5000 and let you rig the election.

Shameless EFCC!!!

LoverJoe89:
Dear NLs,

I need help with my predicament. I just discovered a lounge where I normally hang out to watch sports and chill. Apparently the lounge also has a Spa that is managed by this beautiful married lady who is a mother of 3 children that are in University and one in final year of secondary school. I started crushing on this woman for some time now and I cant seem to take my mind of her. She is a tall, dark stallion with nice hips, ass and a very sweet voice.

We got talking the moment I went to her Spa to make some inquiries about her spa services and whether she runs home service as well. Along the line, she gave me her contact details and we have been chatting frequently. The thing is that I am madly in love with her but I don't know how to express my feelings and desires towards her.

I don't intend snatching her from her husband but I just want to have a romantic relationship with her but don't know how I will go about it.

I am a graduate in my mid 20s from Leed City University Ibadan with a degree in Engineering. I don't usually have issues in getting women but this has posed much of a challenge to me because I am deeply in love with a married woman.

Thoughts of her sometimes drives me to masturbation and it's driving me nuts. Please I need help on this matter.

Is that married woman the only woman you see when you open your eyes in Lekki? Don't end up getting killed or roasted like corn one day. There are men out there who don't play with their wives and that woman's husband may be one them. See caution and apply caution kid!

On watchlist because APGA won the election and Obiano built Anambra International Airport .

Useless EFCC

rigarmortis:
why is it so hard for you to believe that i am a fake engineer with masters in thug analysis?

is it because you have no single school cert holder in your clan?



no offense

Which certificate is better than my blue. You think I am there in Nigeria with you suffering and smiling. Go and look for something better to do with your worthless life instead of parading yourself as a fake engineer. Who dash monkey banana? May your mum's soul rest in peace and may thunder scatter your abunna there

rigarmortis:
hehehehee

have you eaten that you want to buy kiwi?

wait until your mother sells a random drunk some piece of that pussy and use the money to buy okpa

i dont need your kiwi

kiwi gbukwe gu dia



no offense

Keep changing kettles and shinning shoes. Olodo, how market. Mya your mothers soul rest in peace. Amen.. You talk about mothers because you feel your mother betrayed you but she gave up because you are a sore loser. Ewu Bakana

Good for nothing President, surrounded by good for nothing African First Ladies.

Wasting tax payers money for nothing but useless Photo ops