₦airaland Forum

Still yet to get this. Pls help! pineed if u can pls...

Mikee19

ifyalways I sent you mail. I don't know if you read them, nor am I sure how NL really works, so I don't know if u see those or this

you know schools usually pay with Remita these days? I even gave the remita RRR... I'm pretty sure even with this ppl could think it's a scam like most things r. And yet I put myself out there risking to send (and potentially lose) the part money I have

Sigh...

They are. But that doesn't stop the school for requesting that fees be paid ahead of resumption. And they have been merciful enough, leaving the portal open for so long cos finances r hard to come by cos of the times (covid-19).

In any case the deadline is 31st now. They have tried enough up to this point

Nerdified:
Tot schools are on lockdown

I have been trying to get a balance of N15k to add to the money needed to pay school fees. Been asking, but it's proving to be elusive. I even asked to forward the money I have to whomever will help pay the money online before the deadline on 31st, so that the money doesn't even have to be transferred to me. Any help? Or is this the end?

ifyalways:
The end result of cultism.

ifyalways I sent u mail. Pls respond

@Ifyalways

Mikee19:
Good evening ma. Pls I need urgent help. a friend needs to pay her school fees. The school has been merciful to extend the deadline for a few weeks now till till the 31st (but would really be nice to pay before then). The total fees is N35,000 but only N20,000 is available. the payment would be through Remitta (that's how many schools pay now into TSA account).

Here is the Remita number 👇🏽



You can access the payment by going to Remita website remita dot net and selecting the option to pay RRR invoice to reveal details.

I can even send u the N20,000 so that u can help pay it from there if need be.

I know I'm a total stranger, but this is a desperate move! They have extended long enough!

Thanks so much ma and God bless.

(I can supply additional info, like school portal, school login info, etc, to u privately if u need)

Thanks a lot!

u can access this payment on Remit

Good evening ma. Pls I need urgent help. a friend needs to pay her school fees. The school has been merciful to extend the deadline for a few weeks now till till the 31st (but would really be nice to pay before then). The total fees is N35,000 but only N20,000 is available. the payment would be through Remitta (that's how many schools pay now into TSA account).

Here is the Remita number 👇🏽



You can access the payment by going to Remita website remita dot net and selecting the option to pay RRR invoice to reveal details.

I can even send u the N20,000 so that u can help pay it from there if need be.

I know I'm a total stranger, but this is a desperate move! They have extended long enough!

Thanks so much ma and God bless.

(I can supply additional info, like school portal, school login info, etc, to u privately if u need)

Thanks a lot!

u can access this payment on Remit

ifyalways:
Thank u dear

...

BluntBoy:
I left the pastoral ministry many years ago.

The problem I have with Biodun and Ashimolowo is the very same problem I have with every other pro-prosperity theology preachers out there.

WHY WOULD YOU STOP BEING A PASTOR??

Naija and fake news... Na wa!

And for those wondering the intention of the original fabricator of this story, didn't you know that he was named a witness in the rape case by Busola Dakolo? This is a malicious article probably written to get "likes" and clicks...

FAKE NEWS!

And this same person said "I have never raped anyone in my life, not even as an unbeliever"

I'm puzzled... As Aiye chief priest gan gan, that he likely had to drop many people to attain such status, he never raped? Tell me another thing...

hush15:
Infact, i believe some people are out to destroy that man....

But for what reason tho? Is he the only pastor, or even the biggest pastor there is? Why?

ericsmith:
Sound mind my ass, there is no point arguing with most of, afterall most of you standing with busola detest rape more than some of maintaining truth before conviction. Going by confessions so far ...the only weapon the pastor use in raping them was recognition.
i believe you as guy go get female neibor or female friends wey you share a cordial relationship with ... go to there house n try the fayotinbo stunts ... strictly without force/muscles, you can even try your gurlfriend when you are certain she is not in the mood. a sound mind will test for the hypothesis. gudluck

Wrong! Not just recognition... There's also power! Your next door neighbor with whom you're cordial does not see you the same way some loyal church member sees and worships their pastor... To them he may well be the most powerful human being on earth! They "worship" him, they revere him... He can do no wrong to them! Now imagine their shock when he tried to rape them... That shock is enough to keep one so confused and unprepared that she's unable to think properly to respond and act the way she should!

Since you wanted to know, here is how you trivialized rape:

1) While discussing rape, you said "to err is human"... You basically implied that "to rape is human" (since rape is the topic discussed), just like every other human error is. In doing so, you portrayed rape just like every other human error, falling to realize that not all errors are of the same gravity... e.g., murder is NOT on the same level as lying, murder is much more serious in its effects on humanity!

2) You said, while discussing a possible rape by a pastor, that "let he who hasn't sinned before throw stones". Again portraying rape as just like any other sin a person may have committed. You didn't realize that rape is much more severe than many other things!

Bros, you may not have intended to trivialize rape. But you did so nonetheless, albeit unconsciously. But it is the things we do unconsciously that reveal the most about us... It shows our mindset of things, tho we may not deliberately admit to them!

You said it was something she should have confronted (an unrepentant person? -according to reports) about and sought an apology, and that should have been enough, because "everyone sins". In doing so you ignored the "gravity of sins", making them seem all the same so that they are to be dealt with equally. Question: Would you advice the same thing to person who's entire family was brutally murdered? Seek out the murderer privately and get an apology from him? Now do you see my point? The gravity of murder is what sets it apart, and that gravity is similar to rape in many people. But the way you insist it be handled shows how much gravity you placed on it... To you it's nothing, it's like every other error! You trivialized it bro!

Again, this shows your mindset. You may have not raped before now, but I'm willing to bet that, with this your mindset of how non-grievous rape is, like every other error, alongside with how rampant it is in our society, You are a potential rapist waiting to happen.

No offense bro... It's just the natural conclusion of things. Of course I may be wrong... I'm just saying what's most likely.

fairfora:
See epistle...you're probably one of those who are swift in castigating people, including myself..shame on you. I shouldn't have responded to your senseless comment but I think i needed to enlighten you about what you're ignorant of. Before I do this, I'd like to ask you please pin-point where exactly I trivialised rape in my post and if you can't do that, then you need to have your brain checked. Again, where exactly in my comment did I assert that I have raped before, ginormous like you, hun? You're probably one of the fake Christians we've seen around with your manner of accusing someone of an offence he never committed. Rape and abortion, which is good? Many of those shouting kill him, nail him...may have commited offences, even worse than abortion in the past. I see most of the protesters as celebrity Christians, among whom such vices, including rape are a commonplace. If you read your bible very well as a true Christian and not a fake one you're portraying or exhibiting here...you'd find out that the approach taken by Mrs dakolo, a supposedly real Christian to channel her feelings wasn't the right one. The accused pastor needs to be suspended and allow for a proper investigation into the matter, if he's not stepped aside already. You don't even know if the lady was lying like the accuser of pastor Suleiman who later confessed and apologised publicly. She's one of those celebs who could cook up stories. You're probably one of those believing stories, hook , like and sinker, judging by your yeye post. The pastor is even yet to address the press on this matter and you're there claiming too know...bunkum! Why cry more than the bereaved in this matter? Did you read about moses in the bible? What of David? It's you who should maintain your stand and that's if you're standing at all, lest you land in hell fire.

Why Rape Victims Don’t Speak Out

By Melissa Mordi

02 July 2019   |   1:55 pm

“Keep quiet; do what I want, you will be fine.”

“Be a happy a man of God has disvirgined (sic) you.”

These are the chilling words Busola Dakolo says she was told while recounting her rape at the hands of the Pastor Commonwealth of Zion (COZA) Biodun Fatoyinbo. Dakolo’s allegations have caused national outcry and #COZA has been trending on Twitter for over six hours. While there are several who are sympathetic, many more are determined that she’s crying wolf. Amongst the hashtags and tweets, the accusations vary from asking what she was wearing to demanding she bring photographic evidence but the most common ask why she has waited so long to speak out. 

Rape victims especially in high profile cases who speak out about their experiences years after the attack are often slandered by the public as opportunists making up these stories for attention or money or to get back at a man who rejected them. The logical questions being why wait for so long to speak out? Why wait till there’s no more evidence to expose your supposed attacker? It can seem premeditated, an attempt to wait till you can’t be disproved but rape isn’t just physical trauma, it’s psychological. 

Emotional trauma, especially one as damaging as sexual assault, often takes years to overcome and sometimes isn’t overcome at all. The reasons why rape victims don’t speak out are individualized and varied but these are the most common reasons:

Shame

Being unable to fend off an attacker or protect yourself from harm always carries an element of humiliation at what you perceive as your own powerlessness. This embarrassment at their own weakness often causes the victim to blame themselves for the actions of their perpetrator. Why didn’t I scream louder? Or run fast enough? Or fight back? Are common thoughts. The indignity and dehumanization of rape matched with a sense of self crippling shame can result in victims being unwilling to speak out, too humiliated with themselves to share the experience with anyone else, terrified they will be looked down upon.

Depression and Low Self Esteem

Sexual violations wound a woman’s self-esteem and sense of self. Some victims are emotionally crippled by rape. The shame they face makes them lose self-esteem. They lose respect for their bodies and integrity. They begin to deny or minimize their rape as no big deal or something they deserved and they lose the will to report the abuse-or to live. Studies suggest that sexual harassment can lead to suicidal behaviour. Up to 15 of 1,000 females studied reported saying they made suicidal attempts after suffering from some sort of sexual harassment. RAINN reports 94% of women who are raped experience PTSD symptoms. Nearly a third of victims still have those symptoms 9 months after the rape, and 13% of women who are raped attempt suicide.

Rapists Can be Family Members
Perpetrators can be people the victims care about. In 8 out of 10 rape cases, the perpetrators are known to the victims. They can be close friends, family members, or even parents. Victims can be reluctant to speak out either to preserve the relationship or out of fear of breaking the status quo. Victims can even feel love for their attackers and question speaking out for fear of hurting them.

They Think They’re the Only One

Most victims are convinced they’re the only victim of a sexual harasser or abuser. They often believe it’s only happened to them and no one else and become determined to move on seeing it as a minor obstacle. It is often only after other victims step forward to say that they were abused by a perpetrator that a victim may realize that they are dealing with a serial abuser or paedophile. 

Reliving Trauma

Imagine being asked about the day someone you loved died, imagine having to recount in graphic detail how they passed, what it felt like, who you were with, what you were wearing. It’s harrowing to think about but this is often what rape victims go through when asked to describe their rape. Rape is emotionally scarring and speaking out can feel like opening old wounds. 

Threats

Rape victims are often threatened by the perpetrators. Threats of violence against themselves or family members, ruining their careers or even repetition of the act can make victims reluctant to speak out. 

They Won’t Be Believed

This is the biggest deterrent to victims of rape. In instances where rape victims speak up, they aren’t believed. Nigeria since its independence,  has 18 cases of convicted rape despite having a sexual assault and rape statistic of 1 in 4, with approximately 70% of people reporting incidents of sexual violence. 24.8% of females’ ages 18 to 24 years experienced sexual abuse prior to age 18 of which 5.0% sought help, with only 3.5% receiving any services. With such dismal numbers, it’s hard for victims to speak out.

The court processes of proving rape can be daunting. Victims are often asked questions blaming them for their own victimization such as what were you wearing, or they can be held to severe religious law such as bringing 4 male witnesses to their rape. In high profile cases, the public can retaliate by harassing and verbally abusing rape victims such as with Cherly Zondi, the accuser of South African Pastor Timothy Omotoso who received death threats. With the consequences of speaking out being so severe most victims stay silent. 

These collective factors partnered with the after-effects of rape, which include, anxiety, PTSD, suicidal impulses and depression, make it almost impossible to speak out. It can take years of therapy and healing to eventually have the confidence and courage to speak out against their perpetrators. Some never do. Wairfing reports 97% of rapists to go free. The brave few like Bukola Dakolo have decided to stand against the numbers and speak out. 

We can’t change the past, we can’t stop sexual attacks from taking place but we have it within our power to make the world a better, safer place for victims. We have it within our power to stop the public lynchings of rape accusers. We have it within our power to encourage friends and family to speak out if we know they’ve been raped. We have it within our power to demand the Nigerian government improve it’s sexual assault policies, to make rape kits accessible and to penalize rapists severely. We have it within our power, to aid victims suffering from guilt, shame and PTSD and change their lives simply by saying:  I believe you. 

(Oluwaseun Ayodeji Osowobi, CEO of Women Deliver asks COZA Victims willing to speak out to DM her on her Twitter handle @ayodejiosowobi)

Source: https://m.guardian.ng/features/why-rape-victims-dont-speak-out/

And in all these things, has anyone dared to ask why Pastor Wole Soetan of Port Harcourt branch, and pastor Flo of Lagos branch, have failed to respond to these allegations? I mean, Biodun Fatoyinbo actually put out an official release to respond to these allegations! This was so serious that he couldn't keep quiet and had to step down. Your boss is being harassed this way, and your names are called in the media as witnesses, yet they've tried reaching you on phone, and you don't pick up ever. Why keep silent? Can you keep silent in the face of such serious allegations? What would be the rational reason, for accusations against you and your boss so severe to make him to step down?

Transparent gown shouldn't make you not keep your prick in check. What is wrong with these people? Are you a robot? You cannot say to yourself "I no go do"? Omo na wa ooo!

Adakintroy2:
Abeg shut up with those term you pick of from watching too many foreign channels. Has he been convicted and igo " maybe the woman seduced him"...maybe the night gown she wore was transparent? ..How then am idefending rape?. Most everyone act like school of sardines before we agree that we and high on morals.

On the flipside, have you thought she may be lieing and you a fool for trusting one side without letting the matter reached court. You ND me are amateur when it comes to this. There are expert in every field. A good detective will hear that story and spot holes in were me and your untrained mind won't even see. same with a lawyer. But this is nigeria were everybody know something about everything.

If you know due process is exhausting then settle out of court. Or better yet forgive and move on with your life.

What are you bringing up a thing of twenty yrs ago for. We are blacks there many miseries we deal with on daily bases if I keep all of them in my heart I will be full. Aside your religion is about forgivness.

If he is into it. When God will expose him that evidence will be overwhelming.

Try forgiving someone who murdered your entire family the way you speak of. After all, it's the "Christian way of things". No-one says it isn't, but in practical life you may never be able to accomplish it despite it being the ideal. Do not ask the same of rape victims

fairfora:
My fellow yorubas are busy online spreading their dirty linen in public, all in the name of being exposed and more educated. Rape is a crime agreed. No tribe commits this crime in Nigeria more than the awon ara oke oya...and you'd never hear wheen from their mouth. They commit this act even in farmlands in the south but who dares confront them? There are sape cases among the igbos but they manage and deal with the menace without the world knowing. To err is human and forgiveness is divine. Even if we split and stand as a sovereign state, na we go get issues pass. Timi's wife was supposed to have confronted the pastor in private, if truly he committed the act and ask him for apologies after which she too would have forgiven him as a Christian. Let that person who has never sinned before theow a stone...what we see these days are celebrity Christians who sing, preach and amd attend church for the sake of notice-me and connections, rather than for heaven's sake.

I shudder to read this. Like, wow! O my God! Like for real! Na rape you belittle like that, saying "to err is human"... and, "let him who hasn't ever sinned"... WOW! Meaning, rape is "just one of those things" anyone can commit anytime, just let it pass... Chai!

First of all, rape IS NOT just one of those things! You've destroyed a life! It is a serious, grievous offense against humanity! Some people NEVER recover from rape all their lives! And here you are speaking of it as "just one of those things, let him who hasn't sinned, to err is human" kind of things... With this your mentality, this is so sad.

I have never raped before. It is NOT one of those things that a person can do "at any time"! You've taken a life; it can sometimes be worse than murder. DO NOT TRIVIALIZE RAPE! So sad to read this.. But then, with this your mindset seeing rape like an "every other day thing", You've probably raped, so it's no big deal. May God forgive your soul and grant healing to the lives you've destroyed!

MChaze25:
But she worked in same church. Why is her story coming just few days to their mega yearly concert?. Probably she was left out in the scheme of things relating towards preparation of this money generating venture. This is Nigeria and I don't expect any more critical thinking from the citizens unlike the whites...
Her timing for the outcry is still suspicious.
If you trust that woman 100% then you don't know women at all.
Woe betide those who praise her courage forgetting that hell knows no fury than a scorned woman.
Fatoyinbo obviously has skeletons in his cupboard but Busola is playing a card.
Wife of which millionaire musician?
Even Dangote still dey find money though not the one that will smear his image shaa

For real? sigh...

And you be woman too o... Sigh...

amber222:
he be like say ds fine pastor don slam all ds female celebrities but no fit voice out because of public figure and now they use ds busola matter as opportunity

makewetalk2:
This is an allegation of which both parties are still alive to either defend or prove their innocence. It is a very rare case that a married woman would go out in public with her husband's consent to make such a defamatory allegation.
As a victim of abuse, there is this sense of confidence that overwhelms a victim when they choose to come forward. A real victim is ready at all times to answer questions and to open up to anyone who seeks verification. The statement of the COZA man proves that he is shaky with his defense. He always put it out that there will be more... that is a lead right there. A guilty person always tries to deflect rather than focus on the real thing at hand. He is saying that he is lawyering up. That is not what an innocent person should utter. There is a natural emotional outburst that cannot be faked when you are accused of something that you did not do. As someone with a few years in crime analysis, I chose to air out my two cents based on your comment. If the man were dead, I would have liked your comment. The woman is actually brave. And, the husband should equally be applauded to accept to go through this moment of healing and to seek closure to this case with his wife. You can imagine the psychological torture the woman must have gone through each time she set her eyes on him on TV. The husband, Timi is not a nobody. He is a famous person and he understands the backlash and negativities that might result from this. Remember, she did not push for any molestation charges, she is just letting it out there for the interest of other vulnerable girls who might have been or will be a victim. Stop sitting in the fence but dig your nose into the facts. She has nothing to lose, do not deify these men. They are ordinary humans.

Very well said! And I'm sorry you also had to be a victim. All these things the manfolk put others thru is disheartening and saddening. Rape babies, one's cousin/niece, etc... Sigh...

makewetalk2:
This is an allegation of which both parties are still alive to either defend or prove their innocence. It is a very rare case that a married woman would go out in public with her husband's consent to make such a defamatory allegation.
As a victim of abuse, there is this sense of confidence that overwhelms a victim when they choose to come forward. A real victim is ready at all times to answer questions and to open up to anyone who seeks verification. The statement of the COZA man proves that he is shaky with his defense. He always put it out that there will be more... that is a lead right there. A guilty person always tries to deflect rather than focus on the real thing at hand. He is saying that he is lawyering up. That is not what an innocent person should utter. There is a natural emotional outburst that cannot be faked when you are accused of something that you did not do. As someone with a few years in crime analysis, I chose to air out my two cents based on your comment. If the man were dead, I would have liked your comment. The woman is actually brave. And, the husband should equally be applauded to accept to go through this moment of healing and to seek closure to this case with his wife. You can imagine the psychological torture the woman must have gone through each time she set her eyes on him on TV. The husband, Timi is not a nobody. He is a famous person and he understands the backlash and negativities that might result from this. Remember, she did not push for any molestation charges, she is just letting it out there for the interest of other vulnerable girls who might have been or will be a victim. Stop sitting in the fence but dig your nose into the facts. She has nothing to lose, do not deify these men. They are ordinary humans.

Very well said!

themanderon:
So what is shocking about what he said?

The "timing" of what he said, just when he decides to avoid all those massive competition to get a shot at running for president!

senatordave1:
No,he can only divide votes in kano.highest he will get in kano is 500k votes.he wont get more 200k votes in any other state in the ne/nw except taraba and adamawa.hes very unpopular down south.
Donald is very popular and well loved in south south.he will surely pull votes from pdp.theres no way somebody from akwa ibom or cross river will leave duke and vote any northerner,no way.i wished he put much effort into campaigning like them sowore and fela,he would have made more national impact.he should be the candidate of the third force.most of his comments are pro apc sl i wont be surprised if he was sponsored to spoil pdp chances

If this is true, that he mostly supports APC, then why is he suddenly just realizing that PDP has derailed, just the moment he is running for president away from massive competition??

thedondada:
I find it interesting the mentality of a man who would believe that human sacrifice would bring wealth.


We should be ashamed of ourselves if in 2018 we still think in such archaic terms.

So sad.

Rip to the poor girl who didn't know she was dating a monster.

Pls read my comment above...

nelsonebby:
Do people actually believe this ritual thing work?

We had a neighbor when I was younger, and he used to beg my dad for money. All of a sudden, literally overnight, he suddenly became rich! He had money! Lots of money suddenly, without any seeming explanation! (This is a true story I promise, I'm not making this up!)

He then started a business of manufacturing and selling local drugs, kind of like what YemKem used to do. My dad kept talking about it, wandering how such "miracle" got to happen. But we didn't need to wait for long; he suddenly died! At his burial some people came, all dressed in black, and caused a commotion. They then made away with his body! (Remember I said that this is a true story, I'm not making this up I assure you! Things like these will usually look like fiction till it happens with someone very close to you before one can believe it)

If you realize that we're not alone in this world, that there are also spirit beings and the spirit world, you'll realize just how this can work. It is certainly not beyond evil forces to steal money and bring them to someone, or to even make counterfeits that look exactly like the original, and make them disappear again after they've been spent, or to influence some other persons to keep bringing you money! It is certainly very possible! But you'll lose at the end of the day if you decide to go down that route. They are also many fake persons who are con artists, who will pretend to be able to do this jaz for someone and are nothing but fakes (Remember that there are fakes everywhere!) Because of this, some conclude things like this aren't real. They are real, I can confirm from reality of what has happened around me! But they're not worth it in the end

True stuff. But it's now harder still...

delishpot:
And the solution is not to ignore or mockpeople who claim they are victims of rape because we all know that it gave boys some power to carry out rape because they know that people would mock the girl and shame her for being a victim. That is why they can scare a victim into silence by threatning to expose her experience. They even record the episode and say we shall disgrace you with the video. Did you ask yourself what gave them that courage? Yes it was because they were also taking advantage of the privilege they had in the street courts. At any point in time there are more men raping women than there are women shouting false rapes by men.. Dont sound as if only women let things get into their heads abeg.
Solution is to punish any woman whom it has been proven without reasonable doubt used the rape word out of spite and anger. If false accusrrs and true rapiat are severly punished then we are on track. Let us not cut off the head to cure headache.

This is the most beautiful thing I've read on nairaland! You have too much sense! May God bless you greatly

Sterope:
She said she was forced to have sex with him. Then she added 'rape trauma' to it. There are no alternative interpretion to tha because when someone forces you to have sex with them, it is rape. You did not want it. He knows that you did not want it. He did not cajole her to have sex with him, he coerced her to have sex with him.

She is disgruntled about how he treated her. She may not have totally wanted the sex but she went with it. That is not force, it is not his fault. It was her fault. She made the decision to have sex with him even though admittedly he was a jerk. Her bitterness led her to use the word 'force'. She was not forced. That babe need to work on her will.


This is not the first time I have seen women blame men for their own lack of strong will and ability to make goof and quick decisions. Some of them need to learn what rape is. Rape is non consensual sex. It doesn't have to be a fight matter, it could be threat or use of tool. It is not when you are doubtful about a guy's intention but you still proceed to have sex with him which you regret later and then blame him for having a sweet mouth or for being deliciously persistent at that moment.

You are unsure whether he is going to be a jerk after sex, don't have sex with him. If he is an jerk before sex, your decision. Either way, learn to move on and better still, abstain till marriage.