twoondei:
Cardiac arrest, nobody to administer CPR. NO defibrillator

CPR and Defibrillator? enlighten us Biko in case of tomorrow

Mbkite:
I want to commence my M.Sc programme very soon and I know it's definitely going to affect my job a little. I'm worried my boss may not grant me the privilege to run it, if I should inform him. My question is - Should I make my intention known to him or should I just ignore him and move on with the programme and face whatever comes out?
Nairalanders, who have been in my shoes I seriously need your input.

.

Inform him. If he's someone who wants efficiency he'll encourage you.

Fine face

Themandator:


I suspect you are a lady, that's how you people always wants to be treated when found out... His life is at stake and he has taken the wrong turn and you call him a mature man.

An Igbo adage say that when a woman is beating the drum for the man, watch it, he is about to jump the fence of life into that of the dead.

Bla bla bla. So, in summary, what's the right turn? mr man

DevGuru:
UPDATE!!!

I must confess that Nairaland is a wonderful online community. In these trying times of mine, the only thing that has kept my head intact is the company I have here reading all comments. I would have revealed much more information about us especially for the sake of those who have expressed their doubts about the veracity of my story, but I can't, because I wouldn't want to provide some pointers for anyone on this forum who might know any of my wife's relatives or mine. Although I got several diverse opinions, all comments still depicted the kindness in the the hearts of the commenters. Even those who called me stupid for not being too hard on my wife did so because they feared I could lose my life - a high level of kindness which I appreciate a lot. Even the opinions I did not follow on this thread still served a purpose of enlarging the pool of options from which I was able to make a choice. I expect much more expressions of disappointment towards my folly (for deciding not to go for a divorce for the sake of my child, the unborn and the fact that my faith forbids me from marrying another woman if I choose not to live with her anymore).

On the morning following my last update, my wife's depression continued but I tried to act like a loving husband towards her. I could read in her face that the more I tried to be kind towards her, the greater the emotional torment she passed through because she found it hard to believe that I could forgive her. Maybe she even thought I was planning a brutal revenge, but this time, not against her alone but against her sisters. She could not imagine the extent of my actions if I was to execute her thoughts. In the evening, as we were having dinner, she started talking softly to me while looking at the food on the table. I had to tell her to speak louder because it was like she was talking to the food. Then she voiced out as tears rolled down her cheeks saying "I've informed all my siblings about our conversations that got leaked to you and they are not talking to me again". I asked her why they were not talking to her and she said they all must have been confused and I understood that to be because they did not know what my next move would be. Married adults of ages between 35 - 45 were running helter-skelter because they had just ruined their sister's marriage. Their ONLY hope was in my forgiveness. The Lord had suddenly delivered my 'enemies' into my hands and if I chose to wield my sword, they might have to relocate away from their home town because the extended family would know the shameful story that threw their last born out of marriage. I told my wife that seeing her crying for the misery of her sisters was annoying to me as it meant she was further betraying our home. Then I picked her phone on the dinning table to check whether the records were still there... lo and behold... everything was gone. Even the app itself had been uninstalled. I smiled and asked her why she cleared the calls and the app, she replied (crying further) "I just can't listen to the evil voices of myself and my sisters". I smiled again and asked "What about the app? You don't want me to ever hear anything again? She replied "No, I just wished to clear everything that could bring bring back the memory". Then I opened my laptop and navigated to a folder where I had copied all the conversations. I played one and she was shocked to hear it even louder than it was on the the phone. Her fears had just been confirmed... "Why was he pretending that he had forgiven me..." - just my own thought anyways. But truly, I had forgiven her, I was just trying to follow some wise counsel from Nairaland. She couldn't wait till the end, she left me with the food and walked to the bedroom. I slept on the living room couch that night.

The following morning, I continued to read comments on this thread and remembered I was sitting on a time bomb by keeping the whole thing to myself. I went to have my bath and told her I was going out. She was surprised because it was a public holiday. I was already on the road when I called my father that I needed to see him urgently. Luckily for me, he was at home, so I went straight to him and explained all that had happened to him while I played some 'music'. He praised me for taking the matter to him first because he knows we are all closer to mum and revealing such an issue to mum would mean an end - or at most, the beginning of the end. My dad respects my wife's parents a lot and would not like me to take them to their knees on this issue. He spoke with me at length. He said my wife was a good lady but the reason she was so vulnerable was because of her position in the family and that the sisters weren't so lucky this time. He advised me to get closer to my wife so that a natural distance could evolve between her and her sisters. He then begged me never tell my wife that I had revealed the matter to any of my family members because that would be a strong way for me to prove my love to her which she would ever live to appreciate. After all talks, he asked me to call one of my wife's sisters' husbands right in his presence because he knew they (the husbands) must have been told a 'padded' story. I first used the FCMB Mobile App on my phone to load N3,000 before making the call. At the start, he was cold with me on the phone as if a rival was trying to ask for his girlfriend's best food. Later, he admitted that he was aware of all that happened and started all those Yoruba elders' talk... how he had never raised his hand to beat his wife, how he would always walk out, how he and his wife prayed together... bla bla bla. Then I told him I was going to terminate the call and forward some files to him on Whatsapp. I simply picked two of his own wife's conversation with my wife and forwarded to him, expecting him to call back. After about 30 minutes, my Dad told me to call back. I called twice before he answered. He became cold again and couldn't say anything but that his wife would call me soon. After about 1 hour and nothing happened, I had to leave, but my dad told me to carry him along. When I got home, I walked to the bedroom and met my wife on the phone but I did not know who she was speaking with. I returned to the living room and continued reading from my myriad of advisers on this thread.

Then the call came in. It was my wife's sister's voice (not the eldest one)... begging me to forgive and try to forget. She sounded like she was outdoors under the influence of some heavy downpour. I can't express the feeling at that moment but the only thing that I remembered was Proverbs 16:7. (apologies to the wonderful Muslims on this thread...). Even though she didn't believe me, I forgave her. Then the husband collected the phone from her and spoke with me at length... apologising on behalf of the entire family. The major point he kept re-iterating was that I should not let my people know...

All the while, several other simultaneous calls were on. My wife's family members were calling one another while some also called my wife to know the extent of what I got hold of. Interestingly, the first born (who advised my wife to keep a separate account) had also been hinted and had run to their parents to open up to them. She could imagine the level of shame that was coming to her - A PhD holder who is the family's Senior Adviser on every issue. Her parents called her husband to join them immediately as he was their only front soldier who could speak to me. Suddenly, the first born's husband's call came in. He pleaded that he would not like us to revisit the ugly situation but that I was the only one that could save the entire family from the mess by forgiving everyone. He stated that he had been told everything that was done to me and he would like me to honour him and reverse my war order - this was when I confirmed that they had been speaking to my wife. He showered prayers on me while I remained aggressive in my AMEN responses (as if to let them know I was neutralising their spells on me). He promised to call my wife and warn her never to discuss her family issues again with any of her sisters. He also begged me severally never to reveal it to my people as it would mean a reversal to the beginning. Although he didn't give me the impression that my wife's parents were with him - my wife told me this later...

At night, my wife came to kneel down by my side to make her own pleading. I was very glad because the whole ambience was like the clear sky devoid of any cloudy covering after a thunderous rain. I spoke softly to her and began to re-iterate my ideals to her - it was a good preaching time for me. Now everyone (including my wife) is praying that I do not decide to spill the whole thing out one day. My wife's eldest sister later called me that night to directly tender her own apology - at a time she had confirmed I wasn't going to be hostile anymore.

For me, I believe there's so much left for me to do on my wife. For anyone who has followed the recent events of my life which could have ended in a tragedy but for God's intervention and would love to give me some helpful ideas as I move forward, kindly drop your comments. I'll be very glad to read them.

Oh my God, you are a real man. So mature.

humbledbyfaith:
hi family landers,

I am so depressed as of right now..

I have a bro who recently got married to his fiancée..

we were happy as a family until my bro's wife started interfering in between my bro and I..
it all started when I had an urgent need in school, I approached my bro with the most humble scenery one can ever imagine, his wife just cut me short, and said they was no money, I was shocked as my bro sided with her and said they was no money.
I took it in good faith and went away.
later that day ,when they were back from work,I overhead my bro talking to someone in his bedroom..
I went closer and behold my bro was talking to his wife sis asking her if she had seen the alert of the money he sent to her..immediately I heard that,I just sat on the floor and sobbed loudly..

I wonder why my bro will be treating me and my junior bro like this ,we are orphans (lost dad and mum the same day in a car accident)my bro is in jss3 in a public school(my bro's wife changed him with the pretext that they couldn't afford the private school fee).me,I'm in my final year in the university, just remaining my project and my final year school fees..
I am really depressed as my mates have already gone to nysc..

I can't go to anywhere because of clearance and my bro has turned a deaf ear to my appeal to set me up with something I can do to at least clear my self in school..
I am not a lazy person, God forbid that I be lazy but I don't have the necessary incentive to startup something..

I am just fed up with the whole scenario, I have thought of suicide, but ithat will be foolishness as my junior bro will be left in this world to suffer alone..

If my parents are seeing all that is happening, they should please intervene on our behalf because I'm almost giving up... ;'(

sorry for bothering you all with my trouble

I have a feeling that you nag or complain too much more than you appreciate what he's done for you, that's why he treats you that way. That alone is a big discouragement to him.

See ehn babe, there are better ways to get anything you want from anyone including a stony heart, you know. Do you show him the respect that he deserves? How do you act towards his wife? Do you help out in house chores? Do you try to be very nice and friendly to him and his wife? Are you jovial when at home with them? Do you always start a friendly conversation with him and his wife? Are you really striving hard to be independent financially, Eg buy stuff like OK things to sell? Do you show you appreciate all he's been doing? Or all you do is Nag! Nag!! Nag!!! And make series of request. These are subtle but very effective ways to get through him. Everybody likes to be appreciated. I can never believe that he will abandon the only ones left in his extended family for no reason. Forget this spell bu.ll.s.h.i..t you guys always talk about. Your attitude has a lot to do with it.

see vexing

Awww She was very beautiful.

I like this

GoldenJAT:
we are mortals... and things get 2 us.. the op would be the problem lata... if he fails 2 act now.. imagine his wife, telling him I love you... and his mind just went back 2 everything she did 2 him... he will turn a beast.. the heart doesn't forgive easily in this type of situation.we can't be God!!

Divorce should never be his first or only option in this case no matter how hurt he's feeling right now. I feel strongly that his wife is misled by her sisters and needs to be straightened.

pharmagba:
I feel very sorry for you, but a man got to be a man
Firstly I don't know the real sickness and precise age of your daughter but one thing you must know is it is not good for a wife to have too much free time as it is a veritable devils workshop you ought to ensure she is working; open a shop for her or impregnate her so she continue baby nursing,

Now to your findings first of all copy it somewhere else like your phone and then confront her with it, play everything to her hearing, pause at intervals to ask her what you've done wrong, please don't be aggressive or angry; control your emotions. Ask her what she has to say.

Let her know it is betrayal, threaten her you will summon a family meeting of both family and see her reaction.
If or not she apologies don't tell anybody either your family or her. NEVER.. It must not come from your mouth.
But make a stand none of her family members should have your respect. They must never come to your house. Don't give reasons, don't pick or answer their calls until you see full repentance in her. which must be after like a year. .it is her family that must bear the brunt and punishment Nothing more

Don't divorce her she is your wife, folly is in the mind of a woman. I know it will definitely leave a scar in your relationship, forgive her still and try to let go, call her from work and be a good father and husband.

The best comment so far.


Haba!!! Too many odd comment. Seun we need dislike button in this forum so pple get to know their comments are awkward.


Op we know the situation is painful but don't take any hasty decision while still hurt cos u might take a wrong step. In addition to what has been said by the poster I quoted, pls I believe you can still redeem your wife. It may be she's just being misled by her sisters n can be redeemed. I'll suggest you tell somebody like a pastor or any elderly person she respects to make her see the dangers that her actions can cause in the marriage, only if you have tried talking to her n no improvement.

I love my husband so much. Hey gents n babes If you love your spouse cos of his or her endearing qualities, hop in here. Tell us those qualities he or she possesses that makes u fall head over heels everyday who knows, the single ones can imbibe those qualities so they can become a wife or husband material. Some married ones too might learn one or two things to spice up their marriage.

Modified: My husband is down-to-earth yet still caring,loving,etc. He's so understanding. Whenever m down in health, he doesnt allow me go to the kitchen cos in his words... I should not stress myself...he cooks for us by force even when I try to make him understand he should allow the maid take charge. Its usually a fun time for us. He adds all ingredients together n cook for five minutes... Phewwww food is ready. Time to eat, see how me and meat dey fight like say Na mortal combat cos it's half-done. We,ll both laugh it out. Lol let me stop here for now... Over to you guys.

Justdulla:

Am not trying to disuade you from your dream,, but am just being reasnable with the current trend in the country.. Invest in where there is less competition and more profit... Have you thought about investing in a saloo, thats another fine venture provided you have a good location and expert workers.

Ok. How much do I need to invest in a standard saloon biz?

naijaboiy:

[s]You should shut the fück up first.

A prank is a prank and she is at fault not because she is a woman but because she started it first. Why should she be able to have fun at his expense and he can't do same?

How does that make sense?


Oh I forgot! I'm arguing with a woman. It's normal for them to put emotions first and make everything double standardized.

Bunch of hypocritical homo-sapiens[/s] .

You are as empty as your opinion.

Justdulla:
lemme tell you a secret, many people involved in the fashion industry are finding it hard due to the economy of the nation. My sister delved into it some years ago, she made so much loss that she hard to pack up even after spending money showcasing models in a national TV. Pls find another interest then we can discuss on that.

Really? Its my passion for fashion that's why I want to invest in it.

Seeeeeeee:
What can you say about her capital?

Seeeeeeee:
my fashion business idea is a money spinner but what you have as capital is too small... No need posting it here

You saw where i wrote something like 'i can add more if profitable' in my previous post, I guess. Ok pass. Its obvious you had nothing to offer.

Eyahh

colossus2:

So a rat or cockroach now threatens life?
I bet you will run if a masquerade comes chasing you, talk more a ghost in a locked room.

Its not my biz if you are not well informed. Go do research on the havoc caused by those two creatures if you wish.

Seeeeeeee:
5 million

Ok. What kind of business pls?

Seeeeeeee:
A million bucks naira or dollar? If naira then it's too small for any fashion business idea i have.

So, how much you looking at? I can add more, if very profitable.

Seeeeeeee:
else what?

Leave my thread if u have nothing to offer as regards the topic.

Seeeeeeee:
Are u the one on ur profile

What's your business if am the one or not?

Don't derail this thread else. .

What's this na? cant they just extend it to Sunday if they wish, only in the north? See how today was wasted for nothing. Why shut down the economy that's already bad, for three full days cos moon was not found?

Anyway am not surprised

The baby is not even her child.

Hey guys, I have one million bucks tied down in the bank for nothing. I want to invest it in a fashion business but m short of ideas. Need ideas pls. Fashion business that's very profitable i mean. Thanks in advance.

Note: Strictly fashion business ideas

naijaboiy:

But she was right in scaring her man to His pants and even making him cry right?

Continue being sentimental.

Oh stfu mehn. How can u compare the prank with this obvious life-threatening silly joke? Ok, she should stay on and when he kills her in the name of joke, hypocrites like you will still call her names, since to you hypocrites, women are always at fault. If she was the one who did what he did, you would have been quick to advice him to dump her for another. @mr non sentimental

op,,you are evil. For this ebola era plus leprosy (caused by fluid of cockroaches) Na em you send rats n cockroaches to her all in the name of prank?

She did the right thing (run for her life) before you kill her someday and later tell the world it was a joke.

Na this kind wedding Wey armed robbers dey attend.

is it just one time meal they need?

CXLVII:
If all of the above does not work, then you have no option than to start using Juju on him

Lol

cindybaby22:

lol
true... crying is even more powerful than force for a woman

Crying? It doesn't work on all men. If it works on a particular man, I can assure you, with time he will become used to it and will no longer yield. Babe save those tears and use them only when it is very necessary. If you always cry, i bet you, he will take if for granted, even when you are crying cos of something very serious like hurt, etc.