₦airaland Forum

Migines:
True transcript from court record:

Q: Just what did you do to prevent the accident?

A: Closed my eyes and screamed as loud as I could.



no point guessing the gender that gave the reply.

~Psst! Dont you mean the colour of her hair?!! ^{B-L-O-N-D-E . . . on second thoughts Am dam sure A-L-P-H-A  B-L-O-N-D-Y said that!}

Sisi Jinx:
Lol! Thank you for reminding why quit in the first place. . . impatience.

~Ah ha! ~

binhozie:
There was this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. After he didn't move for a half-an-hour, this big trouble-making truck driver stepped up right next to him, took the drink from the guy, and just drank it all down. The poor man started crying.
The truck driver turned and said: "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man crying."
"No, it's not that." the man replied, "Today is the worst day of my life. First, I overslept and was late for an important meeting. My boss became outraged and then fired me.
When I left the building to my car, I found out that it was stolen. The police said they could do nothing. I then got a cab to return home, and after I paid the cab driver and the cab had gone, I found that I left my whole wallet in the cab.
I got home only to find my wife was in bed with the gardener."
The man was really sobbing now, "I left home depressed and came to this bar. And now, just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, YOU show up and drink my poison .


********************************************************


" A woman walks into a restaurant and sits down. As she bends down to reach into her purse for her wallet, she Mess (farts) loudly(GboooooooooN!!!!!!!!!!!) with the waiter right behind her. She sits abruptly back up, glares at the waiter and shouts "Stop that!" To which the waiter replies, "Sure, which way did it go?" A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, 'Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me.' She replies, 'If your privates is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221.'

*************************************************************

One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm.
The wife turns over and says 'I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.'
The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.
'Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?' The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't knowanything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put theprisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!

Sisi Jinx:
I used to make them when I was a kid. . . really miss that.

~Aaaw . . cheer up

~I've watched braclets and waist beads been made with keen interest,i thought it was easy till i tried putting the rope into those tiny holes when one of my waist beads came apart . . . dont have the patience for it at all!!

~Making the Chockers will require more time & effort No Doubt!