₦airaland Forum

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.

She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee.

"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and
you were only 17?" he asks solemnly.

The wife is touched thinking her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do," she replies.

The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. "Do you remember when
you father caught us in the back seat of my car?"

"Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues, "Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years".
"I remember that too", she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says, "I would have gotten out today!"

Do you wait till Valentine before you protray your love for her and him?
Do you treat her/him specially during this period or all the time. Do you seperate everyday romance from the romance of this day? Are you valentine freak that no other day matters but valentine? Do you take valentine to the extreme or everyday is valentine to you. Share your opinion here!

Dressing is important and the events too serves as a tool in helping our decisions on how to dress and what to wear. Guys can you suggest how you feel a lady should dress, and what you think she should put on or wear by creating your own examples of the circumstances. And what she may wear that can cause humiliation for you and what she can wear that will make you feel like a man.

I love seeing some people creating their own fashion styles, not following the trends that goes and comes. People spend too much money on looking fashionable clothes,even on some clothes which are not so expensive but clothes seller will increase the rates that at the end they will be the ones smiling to thw bank after the clothes have been abandoned in the clothes box later in the day and when they see another different pattern they neglect the previous clothes and go on and on till they become somehow wasteful , No matter how hard they get their money they will go even into borrowing to measure up and i think this is not a good practice. People should realize and understand that they don't have to follow the crowd but stand out from the crowd by being modest, simple and graceful. I don't like how the media go about it either they are confusing people, and i think people should have self control and be able to wear what they love and not be pressurized at all. The point is People should wear what they are confortable in. Be creative, somebody thought of that idea you can do the same for yourself. Be creative and spend less. More doesn't mean you are fashionable. Such people can decide on how they want to spend their money but how much are they getting back? when after a month or less the clothes will be abandoned. Let save for our children, future and have a better idea on how to better our lives than follow follow, Create your own fashion trends, and you will be glad you did, who are we competing with anyway and what gain-medal are we expecting to get and is it worth it? If yes, then the ball is in your court. I just want people to think and be happy about their decisions.

I think it is unfair for Jayon to post those pictures and asked viewers who he doesn't know how they look like themselves to criticize or make fun of her, when he supposed put his own pictures, i think what he did had a motion behind it, either to get back to the lady in question to diss her or to spoil her image, imagine if the family should get hold of these picture. Anyway maybe the lady wants to be a model and allowed unprofessional and unimaginative photographer to take her snaps. I don't think the picture has standard i think it was taking merely for fun. Maybe she was blindly in love with jayon and he convinced her to take those pictures. I think she is wonderfully and beautifully made. At least all those haters can't create a fly. Put your clothes on lady. Shame on you Jayon.

How do you control or handle anger in Children especially when you have done all you could, and nothing seems to work? You have definately tried talking, praying for them, etc. Now what do you do to stop them from growing into angry adults.

She is matured enough for that. I am happy for her.

I am Monicamony how are you doing today. Hello?

Hello how are you felling today?

In many cases, conflict in the workplace just seems to be a fact of life. We've all seen situations where different people with different goals and needs have come into conflict. And we've all seen the often-intense personal animosity that can result.
 
The fact that conflict exists, however, is not necessarily a bad thing: As long as it is resolved effectively, it can lead to personal and professional growth.
 
In many cases, effective conflict resolution skills can make the difference between positive and negative outcomes.
 
The good news is that by resolving conflict successfully, you can solve many of the problems that it has brought to the surface, as well as getting benefits that you might not at first expect:
• Increased understanding: The discussion needed to resolve conflict expands people's awareness of the situation, giving them an insight into how they can achieve their own goals without undermining those of other people;
• Increased group cohesion: When conflict is resolved effectively, team members can develop stronger mutual respect, and a renewed faith in their ability to work together; and• Improved self-knowledge: Conflict pushes individuals to examine their goals in close detail , helping them understand the things that are most important to them, sharpening their focus, and enhancing their effectiveness.
However, if conflict is not handled effectively, the results can be damaging. Conflicting goals can quickly turn into personal dislike. Teamwork breaks down. Talent is wasted as people disengage from their work. And it's easy to end up in a vicious downward spiral of negativity and recrimination.

If you're to keep your team or organization working effectively, you need to stop this downward spiral as soon as you can. To do this, it helps to understand two of the theories that lie behind effective conflict resolution techniques:Thomas and Kilmann's styles are:Competitive: People who tend towards a competitive style take a firm stand, and know what they want. They usually operate from a position of power, drawn from things like position, rank, expertise, or persuasive ability this stlye can be useful when there is an emergency and a decision needs to be make fast.they cooperate effectively and acknowledge that everyone is important. This style is useful when a you need to bring together a variety of viewpoints to get the best solution; when there have been previous conflicts in the group; or when the situation is too important for a simple trade-off.Everyone is expected to give up something, and the compromiser him- or herself also expects to relinquish something, Compromise is useful when the cost of conflict is higher than the cost of losing ground, when equal strength opponents are at a standstill and when there is a deadline looming.

Accommodating: This style indicates a willingness to meet the needs of others at the expense of the person’s own needs. The accommodator often knows when to give in to others, but can be persuaded to surrender a position even when it is not warranted. This person is not assertive but is highly cooperative. Accommodation is appropriate when the issues matter more to the other party, when peace is more valuable than winning, or when you want to be in a position to collect on this “favor” you gave. However people may not return favors, and overall this approach is unlikely to give the best outcomes.

Avoiding: People tending towards this style seek to evade the conflict entirely. This style is typified by delegating controversial decisions, accepting default decisions, and not wanting to hurt anyone’s feelings. It can be appropriate when victory is impossible, when the controversy is trivial, or when someone else is in a better position to solve the problem. However in many situations this is a weak and ineffective approach to take.

Once you understand the different styles, you can use them to think about the most appropriate approach (or mixture of approaches) for the situation you're in. You can also think about your own instinctive approach, and learn how you need to change this if necessary.
• Make sure that good relationships are the first priority • Keep people and problems separate • Pay attention to the interests that are being presented• Listen first; talk second. Set out the “Facts”: • Explore options together. Negotiate a Solution.Key Points
Conflict in the workplace can be incredibly destructive to good teamwork.

Managed in the wrong way, real and legitimate differences between people can quickly spiral out of control, resulting in situations where co-operation breaks down and the team's mission is threatened. This is particularly the case where the wrong approaches to conflict resolution are used.

To calm these situations down, it helps to take a positive approach to conflict resolution, where discussion is courteous and non-confrontational, and the focus is on issues rather than on individuals. If this is done, then, as long as people listen carefully and explore facts, issues and possible solutions properly, conflict can often be resolved effectively.

Let's keep our work place from of backbitting, gossip and harmful thoughts and words. Let's be positive and build one another.

Self-confidence is extremely important in almost every aspect of our lives, yet so many people struggle to find it. Sadly, this can be a vicious circle: People who lack self-confidence can find it difficult to become successful. After all, would you instinctively want to back a project that was being pitched by someone who was nervous, fumbling and overly apologetic?
On the other hand, you might be persuaded by someone who spoke clearly, who held their head high, who answered questions assuredly, and who readily admitted when he/she did not know something.

Self-confident people inspire confidence in others: Their audience, their peers, their bosses, their customers, and their friends. Gaining the confidence of others is one of the key ways in which a self-confident person finds success.

The good news is that self-confidence really can be learned and built on. And, whether you’re working on your own self-confidence or building the confidence of people around you, it’s well-worth the effort! All other things being equal, self-confidence is often the single ingredient that distinguishes a successful person from someone less successful. As you can see from these examples, low self-confidence can be self-destructive, and it often manifests itself as negativity. Self-confident people are generally more positive – they believe in themselves and their abilities, and they also believe in the wonders of living life to the full.

Tip: Balanced Self-Confidence
Self-confidence is about balance. At one extreme, we have people with low self-confidence. At the other end, we have people who may be over-confident.

Good self-confidence is a matter of having the right amount of confidence, founded in reality and on your true ability. With the right amount of self-confidence, you will take informed risks, stretch yourself (but not beyond your abilities) and try hard.

By contrast, if you are under-confident, you’ll avoid taking risks and stretching yourself; and you might not try at all. This means that you’ll fail to reach your potential. And if you’re over-confident, you’ll probably take too much risk, stretch yourself beyond your capabilities, and crash badly. You may also find that you’re so optimistic, that you don’t try hard enough to truly succeed.

So, self-confidence needs to be founded on reality: realistic expectations, your skills and experience, and the effort and preparation that you are willing to put in to reach your goal.

Building Self-Confidence
So how do you build this sense of balanced self-confidence, founded on a firm appreciation of reality?

The bad news is that there’s no quick fix or 5-minute solution.

The good news is that building self-confidence is readily achievable, just as long as you have the focus and determination to carry things through. And what’s even better is that the things you’ll do will build success – after all, your confidence will come from real, solid achievement. No-one can take this away from you!

So here are our three steps to self-confidence, for which we’ll use the metaphor of a journey: Preparing for your journey; setting out; and accelerating towards success
Develop the self-confidence you deserve! So how confident do you seem to others? Look at what you’ve already achieved: Think about what's important to you, and who you really are: Think about where you want to go: Start managing your mind-believe you can do anything.
And then commit yourself to success! Build the knowledge you need to succeed: Set small goals, and achieve them: Accelerate Towards Success:

I hope this will build you into a more constructive person in your work place.
Doing what you believe to be right, even if others mock or criticize you for it. Being willing to take risks and go the extra mile to achieve better things.Admitting your mistakes and vowing to learn from them. Waiting for others to congratulate you on your accomplishments. Accepting compliments graciously. “Thanks, I really worked hard on that prospectus. I’m pleased you recognize my efforts.”
Governing your behavior based on what other people think.
Staying in your comfort zone, fearing failure and so avoid taking risks.
Working hard to cover up mistakes and praying that you can fix the problem before anyone is the wiser.
Extolling your own virtues as often as possible to as many people as possible.
Dismissing compliments offhandedly. “Oh that prospectus was nothing really, anyone could have done it.”

You can Build yourself into a better person.