₦airaland Forum

  so true about biggerboy.  Keep it up! Biggerboy must be so proud of you,  4-1

it still makes me laugh though.

High five Richo. Low five biggerboy.

RICHO that is so true, 2-1 biggerboy,

;d ;d ;darling?  1-1 right. ;d ;d ;d

;d ;d ;d

I see biggerboy in that position in future,

Fake prophet biggerboy u see nothing

biggerboy that is very sensitive and sensible of you, I am not laughing though. 1-0

Let's find out whether others agree with u.

i pity the guy sha!

1.What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries?

2.You throw away the outside and cook the inside. Then you eat the outside and throw away the inside. What did you eat?


3.What goes up and down the stairs without moving?


4.What can you catch but not throw?

5. I can run but not walk. Wherever I go, thought follows close behind. What am I?
6. What's black and white and red all over?

7.What goes around the world but stays in a corner?
8. I have holes in my top and bottom, my left and right, and in the middle. But I still hold water. What am I? 

9. Give me food, and I will live; give me water, and I will die. What am I?

10. The man who invented it doesn't want it. The man who bought it doesn't need it. The man who needs it doesn't know it. What is it?




Q: What's white and can't climb trees?
A: A fridge.

Q: What's white and blue and can't climb trees?
A: A fridge wearing a denim jacket.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
A: Someone threw a fridge at it.
Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It was sellotaped to the monkey.
Q: How do you put a giraffe into the fridge?
A: Open the fridge door
Put the giraffe in
Close the fridge door.
Q: How do you put an elephant into the fridge?
A: Open the fridge door
Take out the giraffe
Put in the elephant
Close the fridge door.
Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all
the animals are there, except one.
Which one does not attend?
A: The elephant, he's in the fridge.
Q: There is a river you must cross but it is filled
with crocodiles. How do you do it?
A: You swim across, all the crocodiles are at the
animal conference.
Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his
tractor?
A: Where's my tractor?
Q: What do you call Postman Pat when he gets
fired?
A: Pat.
Q: What do you call Fireman Sam when he gets
fired?
A: Sam.

How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator?
You open the refrigerator door, put the elephant in, and close the door
How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator?
You open the refrigerator door, take the elephant out, then put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The Lion King is holding an Animal Meeting, in which all animals must attend. Every kind of animal came except for one. What is the absent animal?
The giraffe. Remember? He's still in the refrigerator.
A team of adventurers came upon a river. They were about to cross it when they saw a sign that says: "Caution! There are alligators in this river!" What should they do to get to the other side? (No bridges!)
Just cross the river. The alligators are at the Animal Meeting.


What mouse has only two legs?
Mickey Mouse.
What duck has only two legs?
Donald Duck? NO! All ducks have only two legs

I just love seeing people laugh and have a good laugh.

That is good to know.

:-x

Remix
For the record Nigerian girls are pretty period

Old is gold. i will not disagrace u.

A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place:

Man: What's the problem officer?

Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone.

Man: No sir, I was going 65.

Wife: Oh Harry. You were going 80.

(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)

Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light.

Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light!

Wife: Oh Harry, you've known about that tail light for weeks.

(Man gives his wife a dirty look.)

Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt.

Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car.

Wife: Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt.

Man: Shut your mouth, woman!

Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way?

Wife: No, only when he's dead drunk and broke.

Bear and two Men
Two men were hunting in the woods, and they came across a bear. The bear starts chasing them and they are running as fast as they can. They looked back and the bear was gaining on them. The two hunters are running neck and neck and one says to the other, "I don't think we are going to be able to outrun this bear". The other hunter says "I am not worried about the bear, I only have to outrun you


Dog
A man tried to sell his neighbour a new dog. "This is a talking dog," he said. "And you can have him for 100 naira."
The neighbour said, "Who do you think you're kidding with this talking-dog stuff? There is no such animal."
Suddenly the dog looked up with tears in his eyes. "Please buy me, Sir," he pleaded. "This man is very wicked to me. He never buys me a meal, never bathes me, never takes me for a walk. And I used to be the richest trick dog in Nigeria. I performed before kings and governors. I was in the army and was decorated twenty times."
"Hey!" said the neighbour. "He can talk. Why do you want to sell him for just 100 naira?"
"Because," said the seller, "I'm getting tired of all his lies.

Lol

;d ;d ;d

lol

Mission Accomplished
Phil took a look at the picture again when he was convinced it was the same man in the picture, he pocketed the picture and headed straight to him.
“Hello Ben?” He was chatting with a friend in front of the hostel.
“How did you know my name?” Ben asked as he faced him.
“Never mind do you care if I take you to the most expensive restaurant for a cup of tea or beer?”
‘Yeah I don’t know you but sure why not.” Ben replied as he followed Phil.
They went to the most expensive restaurant in the city.
The bar man came and Ben told him to bring three bottles of big beer immediately they settled down.
“Or do you mind em…what is your name?” Ben asked he was more interested in the first question than the last.
‘I am Phil I don’t mind Ben enjoy yourself.’
The bar man brought three bottles of chilled beer. He drank the whole bottle hurriedly as if his life depended on it.
Few minutes later he had finished the three bottles and was not able to wait any longer.
“Phil do you mind if I order for something light my head is feeling woozy.”
Phil told him he didn’t mind, he went ahead and called the barman.
He ordered for a whole fried fish, a goat thigh, a whole chicken, pork, suya, pepper soup, and some fried rice with lettuce and a bottle of red wine to wash it down. He ordered for take away for his six room mates and some to take to the hostel as he didn't know how to cook anyway.
The man took nothing but was just watching Ben in excitement. He has been recording Ben secretly he had his hidden camera in his jacket.
The barman brought the bill and Ben pointed to Phil. Phil paid and the got up to go.
“You are a real nice guy thanks for the lovely outing.” Ben said feeling extremely lucky as he had been broke all along.
“Yes, your father sent his love and the last money he has for your school fees. He said he doesn’t want to see you for the next six months.”
‘Where is the money Phil?”
“You just ate the money.” Phil said and entered his car and zoomed off.
While Ben looked on, as a car passed and splashed some water on him bringing him back to reality.

;d ;d ;d

;d :d ;d

;d

One Danny was going to Iran from London by a air-London plane. He was allotted the middle seat of one of the 3-seats array.
But as soon as the Danny got into the plane, he sat on the window side seat which was actually for an old lady.

After some time the old lady came and requested Danny to leave the side seat.
But Danny told, “I want to see the view from the window and shall not leave”.
The old lady then complained to the air hostess .The air hostess requested Danny to leave that seat but Danny did not leave.
Then the air hostess went and told the asst. captain. He also came and requested, but in vain.
Finally the Captain came. He whispered something in the ears of Danny and the Danny immediately left the side seat and returned to the middle seat.
Astonished, the airhostess and the asst. captain asked the captain afterwards what he told to Danny.
Captain told, “Nothing… I just told him that only the middle seats will go to Iran and all others will have bombs under them.”



Kissing Arithmetic
A boy was teaching a girl arithmetic, he said, it was his mission.

He kissed her once; he kissed her twice and said, “Now that’s addition.”

In silent satisfaction, she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, “Now that’s subtraction.”



Then he kissed her, she kissed him, without an explanation.

And both together smiled and said, “That’s multiplication.”

Then her Dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision.

He kicked that boy three blocks away and said, “That’s long division!”

Keep it up,

:-x

Ever Wonder Why,
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?
Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Marriage Means



Watch out more of the series all about marriage below:


Nursing Home.

An old lady in a nursing home is wheeling up and down the halls in her wheelchair making sounds like she's driving a car. As she's going down the hall, an old man jumps out of a room and says, "Excuse me ma'am but you were speeding. Can I see your driver's license?" She digs around in her purse a little, pulls out a candy wrapper, and hands it to him. He looks it over, gives her a warning and sends her on her way. Up and down the halls she goes again. Again, the same old man jumps out of a room and says, "Excuse me ma'am but I saw you cross over the center line back there. Can I see your registration please?" She digs around in her purse a little, pulls out a store receipt and hands it to him. He looks it over, gives her another warning and sends her on her way. She zooms off again up and down the halls weaving all over. As she comes to the old man's room again, he jumps out to face her!"
“Get out of my way.” She yelled like someone who was being pursued by a lion. ‘Failed brakes.’ She continued as others watched on. ‘if you don’t get out of my way I will hit and run, my brake has failed…’ It was too late, she hit the man and her wheel chair wheeled them to the nurse on duty, who stopped them with her leg.
“Get up from her laps and find something important to do.” The nurse ordered.
“This is no express road stop wheeling yourself before I remove your wheel chair batteries.’ The nurse continued.
‘I will remove and put the battery supporting my brain there, so that the wheel chair can move me very fast.’ The old woman replied with a smile on her face.

and u solved everything by yourself Betty that is not fair?