₦airaland Forum

If you really love her u will tell her privately with love, the lesson is simple health is wealth, you are what u eat, and exercise is good for the heart. Help her to regain her shape and her confidence, that is if u r telling us the truth about her. ;DWord!

God knows the hearts of men, u can't deceive him.But i like the joke.

This is crazy i couldn't control my laughter . Good one Efuah

nice one.

;d ;d ;d

Kay laugh with me please

word!

Thanx Carlosein

They are money minded, that is good who doesn't like money? Nice one,

d ;d ;d

Omen means premonition, forecast, warning, prophecy, sign or portent so pick your choice Showbobo. The Omen is nothing compare to this Omen cause it is a good omen not the type in the film.

common

lol, you can try all these on the April fool's day. . And U will regret then that u ever did.

:-x ;d :-x ;d

i love economists they are my best friends

;d ;d ;d

;d ;d

;d :d

1. Phone
A young businessman had just started his own firm. He'd rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques.
Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.
Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?" The man said, "Sure. I've come to install the phone!"

2.After Life
A man took some drugs overdose and died. He was sent to the Afterlife Waiting Room. He was met by St. Peter, who asked him if he wanted to go to Heaven or Hell, and if he'd like to see them before he decided. Bill said yes, and St. Peter snapped his fingers. They appeared on a sunny beach, with people dancing, swimming, and playing volleyball. Just basically having a wonderful time. Good food, good music, good people. Bill turns to St. Peter and says, "Wow, Heaven is great!" St. Peter says, "This isn't Heaven, it's Hell. Want to see Heaven?" Mr. Gates nods yes, and they appear in a shady park, with a few old people sitting on benches feeding birds. A gentle breeze blows by, and all is quiet and serene. St. Peter asks Bill, "Well, which would you like?" Bill thinks for a minute, and says, "Well, if this is Heaven, then I'll take Hell." Instantly, he was plunged up to his neck in red-hot lava, the screams of other tortured souls filling his ears. He looks up, and sees St. Peter in the waiting room. Bill calls out to him, and said, "Hey! What's going on? Where's the beach? The bikini-clad women? The party?" St. Peter turns from his Macintosh to face Bill, and says, "That was just the demo."

Job interview
At the end of a job interview, a young Engineer fresh out of MIT was asked, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The Engineer replied, "In the neighbourhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 fully paid trips abroad, full medical and dental for you and your entire family, company matching retirement fund to 70% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"
The Engineer sat up straight and wet his lips with his tongue and said, "Wow! Are you kidding sir?"
And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it.

Tessy dear no mind am o,

lol ituen

;d :d ;d

Beware of this 419ners they are still on rampage, i know u are familiar to their schemes, like this one below.

FROM THE DESK OF DESTINY AKA.
NIGERIAN NATIONAL PETROLEUM CORPORATION.
LAGOS-NIGERIA.
EMAIL:destiny_aka@sify.com
ATTN
I AM THE DEPUTY DIRECTOR IN THE NIGERIAN NATIONAL PETROLEUM CORPORATION (NNPC) HERE IN LAGOS.MY COLLEAGUES HAVE ASSIGNED ME TO SEEK F0R ASSISTANCE OF RELIABLE FOREIGN COMPANY OR AN INDIVIDUAL THROUGH WHOM WE CAN TRANSFER THE SUM OF US$ 21.5, 000, 000. 00 (TWENTY ONE MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSANDDOLLARS) WHICH AROSE FROM THE DELIBERATE OVER - INVOICE OF SOME CONTRACT AWARDED BY THE CORPORATION IN THE TWILIGHT DAYS OF THE LAST MILIARY REGIME. HOWEVER, THE CURRENT FAVOURABLE POLITICAL/ECONOMIC CLIMATE IN THE COUNTRY SINCE THE HAND OVER FROM MILITARY TO DEMOCRATICALLY ELECTED GOVERNMENT NOW PRESENTED AN OPPORTUNITY FOR THIS MONEY TO BE TRANSFERRED OUT OF THE COUNTRY. A FRIEND WHO WAS FORMERLY RESIDING IN YOUR COUNTRY MADE YOUR ADDRESS AVAILABLE TO ME. HE ASSURED ME OF YOUR COMPANY S VIABILITY AND CAPABILITY IN BUSINESS TRANSACTION THOUGH HE DID NOT KNOW MY REAL NTENTIONS.THIS ASSURANCE GAVE ME COURAGE TO LINK YOU UP FOR THIS PARTICULAR TRANSACTION, AND I HOPE IT WILL BE OF MUTUAL BENEFIT TO ALL OF US.

OUR CONTACTS IN THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA AND FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE HAVE GIVEN US A GO AHEAD ORDER FOR REMITTANCE, SO WE HAVE SET IN MOTION THE MACHINERY FOR THE TAKE OFF OF THIS TRANSACTION AND FURTHER ACTION WILL COMMENCE IMMEDIATELY WE HEAR FROM YOU. WE HAVE AGREED THAT AFTER THE TRANSFER OF THE MONEY INTO YOUR ACCOUNT. YOU SHALL BE ENTITLED TO 30% THE OFFICIALS, MY COLLEAGUES AND I SHALL TAKE 60% WHILE 10% SHALL BE MAPPED OUT TO COVER FOR LOCAL AND INTERNATIONAL EXPENSES THAT MAY BE INCURRED IN THE COURSE OF TRANSACTION.

REQUIERMENT NEEDED IS THIS

1.YOUR BANK NAME AND ADDRESS
2.YOUR COMPANY'S NAME ADDRESS
3YOUR ACCOUNT NUMBER/SWIFT CODE
4.YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER AND FAX NUMBER AND YOUR PRIVATE TELEPHONE

THE NATURE OF YOUR BUSINESS IS NOT PARTICULARLY RELEVANT FOR THE SUCCESS OF THIS TRANSACTION. ALL WE REQUIRED IS YOUR WILLINGNESS TO CO- OPERATE AND ASSURANCE THAT OUR OWN SHARE WILL BE GIVEN TO US WHEN THIS MONEY IS TRANSFERRED INTO YOUR ACCOUNT. ALL NECESSARY PRECAUTIONS HAVE BEEN TAKEN TO ENSURE A NO RISK SITUATION ON THE SIDES OF BOTH PARTIES AND IT IS BELIEVED THAT THIS TRANSACTION WILL LAST FOR 10 WORKING DAYS, BARRING ANY DELAY.

PLEASE IF THIS PROPOSAL IS ACCEPTABLE TO YOU, OR IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTION FEEL FREE TO CONTACT THE ABOVE EMAIL ADDRESS,
I WILL OBLIGE YOU WITH FURTHER INFORMATION.

BEST REGARDS,
MR.DESTINY AKA
NB: DO NOT FAIL TO INCLUDE YOUR PRIVATE TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBER WHILE REPLYING THIS LETTER FOR EASY COMMUNICATIONS

Interview

A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job.
The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What do two plus two equal?"
The mathematician replies "Four."
The interviewer asks "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says
"Yes, four, exactly."
Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says "On average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, four."
Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question "What do two plus two equal?"
The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says "What do you want it to equal?"

A Really Bad Day
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

Note:
Dont try to commit suicide no matter the odd.-Monicamony

If you are given 50 thousand naira to go shopping for the latest designs, styles, clothes in town, for a friend's make over in other to attract a man, what exactly will you buy?

I feel you lucky u. . Easy.

Little Bobby (seven) was in love with Little Susie (same age) who lived next door.
One day, Bobby went to Susie's dad and announced (as seriously as he could), "I'm in love with Susie, and we're getting married".
Amused, Susie's dad started asking questions (in the hopes to discourage the idea).
Susie' dad: "Where will you live?"
Bobby: "Well, Susie has a playhouse in the back yard, so we're going to live there."
Susie's dad: "How are you going to make money to support her?"
Bobby: "Well, Susie gets 75 cents a week, and I get $1.25 a week." "That should be more than enough!"
Seeing that Bobby was still serious, Susie's dad asked, "Well, what about children?"
Bobby perked up and quickly answered, "Oh, we have that figured out already. Whenever Susie lays an egg, I'm going to stomp on it!"



An IT Husband
Starting the day with a conversation between a wife and a husband who happens to be a software engineer.
Husband Returning late from work) "Good Evening Dear, I'm now logged in."
Wife :Have you brought the grocery?
Husband :Bad command or filename.
Wife :But I told you in the morning
Husband :Erroneous syntax. Abort?
Wife :What about my new TV?
Husband :Variable not found , 
Wife :At least, give me your Credit Card, I want to do some shopping.
Husband :Sharing Violation. Access denied, 
Wife :Do you love me or do you only love computers or are you just being funny?
Husband :Too many parameters , 
Wife :It was a great mistake that I married an idiot like you.
Husband :Data type mismatch.
Wife :You are useless.
Husband :It's by Default.
Wife :What about your Salary?
Husband :File in use ,  Try after some time.
Wife :What is my value in the family.
Husband :Unknown Virus.

An elderly couple had been experiencing declining memories, so they decided to take a power memory class where one is taught to remember things by association.

A few days after the class, the old man was outside talking with his neighbour about how much the class helped him.

"What was the name of the Instructor?" asked the neighbor.

"Oh, ummmm, let's see," the old man pondered. "You know that flower, you know, the one that smells really nice but has those prickly thorns, what's that flower's name?"

"A rose?" asked the neighbour.

"Yes, that's it," replied the old man. He then turned toward his house and shouted, "Hey, Rose, what's the name of the Instructor we took the memory class from?"

You are right some girls make you feel less of a woman when they expose all future for the world to see, i think that is being trashy, a shy woman will dress to cover up not to expose because themselves. Dressing confidently don't necessarily mean dressing indecently. Some people dress in short skirts that boys would start harassing them publicly, even calling them names, pulling or stroking their arms. I feel no one respects someone that causes people to send abuses after her. And what of if something drops from her hands, or someone attacks her in a cat fight? What is left for her to use to cover herself. I know some ladies can do better. All ladies aren't the same that is pure generalizing the own thing, which is not 100% the case. We have decent and modest ladies out there and they know themselves. Some ladies will sit all all the G-strings will be higher than their jeans or skirts. I think it is not fashionable to expose your boobs as if you want to bring them out to be given to a baby to suck life out of them. Some people feel when they dress like that they will get people's atttention yes, they do but what are people thinking when they see them? Do they see them like people from decent homes with home training or just one of those fashion confused people. Word!

I will admit that this is a good topic for debate but how many people are taking it seriously?

Anything that will cause us to feel uneasy, i mean any kind of cloth no matter how expensive if it will take away our dignity instead of make us feel positive about ourselves should be put in the dust bin period

Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'