₦airaland Forum

Hey sis! How you be? How was your weekend?

Excuse you, Dsense? Do I need to bust you upside the head AGAIN?

MOBO,

Let me be the first to tell you this. I love you. You shall be okay for the rest of thy sorry life.

Be good Dsense. My husband is home and I am outtie! Be good! Don't shred Mz Dark she bruise easy! @Mz Dark

[quote author=MzD@rkSkin link=topic=588500.msg7560569#msg7560569 date=1295417429][color=#0055bb]SGDMH @ Chima I hope I AM the one with the nasty mind right now!

shatarrizap! @d-sense! go pee and go to bed!  

I notice how you will curse you all day/night and as soon as someone (as Shyone has) throw in a compliment,
You become so gentleman-like lmao! Need attention much?

I see how you do D-Sense ! [/color][/quote]


Shyone,

You so special. Chile I was implying that you will be freaky with your man in the living room! Ooooh lawd girl! I am like I aint said nuffin about you wanting Dsense. You don't want that nut. TRUSS ME!


No problem girl. I will be more than happy to answer any questions you may have. Just shoot and ask and Mrs. Chima gon tell it like it is.

I remembered a while back you said that your first husband was African am I correct?

Shyone,

You can still own your business and be a successful married woman. You said that your fiancee understand you and I pray that he does because there is nothing like a black woman scorned. You will have to find a balance with the two being shyone and a wife to mr. shyone. It will be difficult for you because you are going to merge two lives together. It will definitely change when you have children with him. African men adore their children and expect the mother to be the strong force in the children first years meaning that you will be constantly with the children while he at work. MOST AFRICAN men will not stay at home because it not their nature to do so.

So you will have to decide which would you do work and take care of the home or stay home and take care of the children? It has to be something that you are comfortable with. I am sure your man will help you with the house but that different considering most of his time is OUTSIDE OF THE HOME and he might wash a few dishes or take out the trash. That basically the extent of it. However, each relationship is different and what works for mine may not work for yours.

You have to maintain two identities at all times or you will end up resenting the very man you fell in love with. YOu do not want to do that. The first thing you would have to do is decide if you want to be the working mother or housewife?

You said in the bedroom and living room. What do you do when you have carpet Ms. Shyone? Looking at you with one eye.

Shyone,

My husband wants me to be a housewife when we have children. He is priming me for the rite of motherhood as we speak. However, I am used to making my own money and going to work it will be hard for me to sit at home and let lil Chima suck on my breasts and till the garden. I don't know about all that. We will see when the babies pop out.

Shyone,

You thank you slick. You betta get no carpet burns on them knees girl!


Dsense,

Well, I am sorry that the husbands are going through that well NAWL I ain't because yall are the ones that TRAINED these women to think like that so you reap what you sow.

I was raised to be independent and do not depend on no man FOR SHIT!

;d ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d

Uhmm Shyone? Living room missy? (tapping foot)

Awww! You so sexy! Come here tiga!

If it is not that complicated then WHY DON'T YOU DO IT CHUMP?

[quote author=Shy-One link=topic=587153.msg7560380#msg7560380 date=1295413230]@ Mrs. Chima:

I am in awe of you - I need some of your strength.  I get in relationships and really cater to the man a lot.  I am getting better as far as trying to retain some of my power in the relationship.  The guy that I have now - I love so much because he is really supportive of "what I want."  I know the relationship is still new and will definitely change and especially once we are under the same roof (married).

But this time - It is really important for my equilibrium to be allowed "to hold on to who I am" prior to the relationship.  I usually change soo much of myself for the man that I lose a large piece of who I was before the relationship.  Millions of women do that.[/quote]Yes sis! Billions of women do that. It called "Keeping home happy" syndrome. As women we were trained to please the man and cater to the man. SOME of us think that if we do not please nor cater to the man that we would lose them. It is easier for your man to tell you that he supports you if you guys are not married yet. When you become married the table is turned trust me. The roles are defined and expectation are given.

If your man is a traditional African then you might as well get your bible out because you gon be doing a lot of praying. Now getting back to the strength part, do not get me wrong when I say maintain who you are but compromise with your man is important as well. I am not saying bend back and let him step on you but lower your knees sometimes and let him lean on it. It a give and take in marriage. Sometimes you gon find yourself doing things that you wouldn't normally do for the sake of marriage. When it come to that point, always ask yourself what do I WANT and would you be able to tolerate it not going your way? IF THE ANSWER IS NO then do not do it because you will resent your man and it will cause issues in the future.

How do you flash the youtube link? I did what I supposed to do. Here it is again. Sighs.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0yNdCCubyI

[flash=200,200]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0yNdCCubyI[/flash]

Enjoy!

Yes, Master! (bowing head and fanning the master)

Shyone,

You shouldn't never let a man dictate you period.  There is nothing wrong with compromising with your husband/boyfriend for the betterment of the relationship.  It a stretch when you are CHANGING YOUR WHOLE IDENTITY for someone who supposedly love you for YOU.   So my hat off to you sis and be strong in every decision you make.  

Mz. Dark,

He do not need hooked on phonetic.  He needs hooked on some arsewhooping!

I see the nutriders are lurking.

Yes, Dsense. Michael Jackson was the HOTTEST R N B singer when he was BLACK. He still had some hot records when he turned white, but that neither there or here. One of the best song he wrote IN MY OPINION is I BE THERE!

Mz. Dark,

I done told you girl that SOME of these chatters are suffering what I call BOJANGLE SYNDROME. Please don't go googling that because that something my GRANNY MADE UP YEARS AGO. It refer to people WHO HAVE THE SAME COMPLEXION as you and I feel the need to defend or pacify the ones that don't have the same complexion as you and I REGARDLESS if the commentary is POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE.

The very thought of a brown woman stamping on a pale woman is NO NO to the foot shufflers or BOJANGLERS.


Dsense,

Of course I am the target. I have been the target since I first joined the site SIMPLY because I don't join cliques nor kiss NOBODY'S ARSE. No offense, I don't come on this site to make friends nor expect any friends especially from this site. I have a few people on this site that I would kick it with but that a few of yall.

I say what I gotta say and I move on. Too many thin skins on this site who can dish it but can't take it which I find to be ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. It is also interesting to see SOME chatters continue to break the rules still TYPING in the same account. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT SUGA, I digress. I will still be me regardless and nothing I mean nothing will change MRS. CHIMA.

I used to date him in my dream! That was BEFORE HE TURNED WHITE ooh lawd!

(singing REMEMBER THAT TIME by Michael Jackson)

Dsense.  

You have to realize that these women were raised by YOUR FOREFATHERS who taught them that men are the providers and that men must protect the household.  If the society in Nigeria were to enforce women's empowerment that would ease some of the burden men faced in Nigeria.  

Now I may be wrong but it is harder for a woman to get a job equal to a man in Nigeria right?  Correct me if I am wrong.  So the woman ability to obtain a decent job equal to a man could be the reason why there are pressure in the relationship do you think so?

I was raised not to depend on a man for shit and fend for MYSELF.

Oh sis! Trust me I am done. Come here Dsense. Give me some of that egyptian loving.

Dsense.  I hear you suga.  But, I would like to get this straight just allow me once.  

Faggstranger.

Apparently you assumed because you are waiting on a phone call from the embassy regarding the lottery or waiting on a sucker to allow you to scam him or her does not mean that SOME foreigners will marry or date anyone without A CARD.  No offense to the foreigners that married illegals and waiting on the papers.

Now if you still bitter about your boyfriend cheating on you with a woman just know life is too short to hold all that in.  You do not want to live with a hole in your stomach.  Then again you prolly already do.  

Yeah, Rikers looking for candy boys like you.   It been years since the boys seen some fresh meat.  Don't drop the soap buddy.  

Okay.  I am done Dsense.  Where were we?  Oh!  I had one boyfriend and I married him.  

How old are you? 50? Negro please! Now, tell me what are men going through? I am listening.