₦airaland Forum

@ Just Good and Biola

If I was married to a British man I'd ask exactly the same thing cos I'm not British, he he he he! But then I'd probably ask the question Sterlingland instead of Nairaland, lol

Seriously speaking though, I didn't mean to offend anyone with my question. Actually I was prompted to pose the question in the first place because my other half frequently reminds me during arguments that I'm not Nigerian and that I should make more effort to understand his culture. So you see, I'm not discriminating here! Was just trying to figure if indeed it was a culture thing, a man thing or him just being a bit silly!

I did say that I was ranting so being serious has little to do with it really

Don't really get the point ur trying to make.

I need a rant!

Bought a great MP3 player for hubby's bday. He was delighted with it and uses it almost everyday. However, a few days ago it stopped working, no idea why. My husband asked me to produce the receipt so that he could go and have it repaired. I replied, truthfully, that I had no idea where the receipt was or even if I'd kept it. Seemingly he thought I was joking because tonight he threw the MP3 player next to me and said that it was of no use to him now that it's broken and that I should just throw it in the bin or do whatever I wanted with it. This was accompanied by a mundane monologue about how someone could buy their partner an expensive birthday gift and not keep the receipt for it.
I can't tell you how shocked I was at his behaviour. Sure, maybe I should have kept the receipt but it's hardly a crime that I didn't. And losing the receipt hardly warrants him being so rude. He's behaving like a spoilt child and I think that his attitude sucks.
So ladies and gentleman, I want to know if you think that this rude attitude is a Man thing? A Nigerian Man thing? Or is just specific to my man?

To be honest, I don't think that you really need a lawyer to help you with this one. You should be able to prove that you have the necessary tier points on your own. Any particular reason that ur thinking of using one?

Thanks so much for the info guys. Really appreciate it.

I know quite a few people here in London who have gone down the European Dependant route. All of them have received a letter from Home Office to confirm that their application has been received and that they have the right to work and live in the UK while their application is being decided. However, none of these people have yet had their applications approved i.e. Home Office still have their passports. One guy I know applied over a year ago and still hasn't heard anything from them! Whilst you might think that having a letter from Home Office allowing to work would make things easier, it doesn't really. All that it means is that you are in the UK legally. Most employers still won't consider giving you a job unless they can see your actual passport.

Also, remember that the UKBA aren't stupid. They know that this European Dependant route is being exploited, so I reckon it won't be long before it stops anyway.

Come on guys!! This isn't a difficult question! And truly, any advice will be much appreciated!

@ Atreus

You make me sick. People like you are the type of uneducated, ignorant and dangerous fools who give men a bad name. I wonder how many womens' lives you've already destroyed? What gives you the right to speak like that? I wonder if you would feel that same if someone raped someone close to you like your mother, your sister or your daughter?

F**KING SICKO!!!!

Can't we have this fool removed from the forum Seun?

Hi Beneli,

Just wanted to say that I think that this is a great post! Keep up the good work :-)

Sorry to hear about your problem. Take everyones' advice and go to see your dentist! No one really likes having to go to the dentist but they serve their purpose in life!

Hi Evy,

There are a number of things that could cause you to have your period twice in one month. It might be stress induced or it could be a hormonal inbalance or it could even have been a very very early miscarriage. Whatever the reason, if you are worried I would suggest that you go see your doctor or gynae and have a check up. If you have been experiencing bleeding after sex, pain after sex or pain/bleeding when using the toilet then go to your doctor immediately!

Anybody want to help?

I will be travelling to Lagos over Easter and would appreciate it if you could give me some info on the best hospitals/doctors in Lagos. My 1yr old daughter will be travelling with me and she suffers from asthma, so would really like to have the name and contact number of a decent paediatrician too.

Thanks in advance for your help in this matter.

I think that the dummy/pacifier is the best invention ever!! We would be goners without a dummy in our house. Our daughter doesn't use it a huge amount, but she loves to know that it's there and when she's crying or just grumbling her "dum dum" always restores peace within seconds. I do worry a bit about weaning her off it when she gets a bit older, but I guess she can always put it under the Christmas tree for Santa to take with him, lol.

I think that the best place for babies to be is in their cot from day 1. We tried to do that with our daughter and she hated it at the beginning. She would scream as soon as we put her down so for the first two weeks or so we would bring her into bed with us. But we were really scared that we would suffocate her, not to mention the fact that we just got no sleep. Eventually I decided that she was going to sleep in her cot even if she screamed all night! So I started controlled crying. Basically meaning that I would put her in her cot, she would cry, I would reassure her and then leave. Then she would be allowed to cry for about 3-5 minutes and then I would go back and pick her up, reassure her again and then put her down. My Mum was staying with us when this happened and she was crying herself because she thought I was being cruel to the baby! And sometimes I had to physically restrain my husband! However, 3 nights of baby screaming was worth it. She soon figured out that there was no point and since then she sleeps in her own cot and is able to put herself to sleep (without any crying). And then at 5 weeks old she started sleeping through the night and has done ever since (she's now 13mths), absolute bliss!

@ Babycool.

Fair point! I probably should start by telling you why I'm in the UK. Actually I ended up here by accident. I had been living in Switzerland and then my fiance at the time wanted to move to London. I decided to follow him and then by the time we split up I couldn't imagine living anywhere else.

I was born in a very rural area and the idea of living in the "Big Smoke" had always appealed to me. And you can't really get much bigger than London. When I first arrived here back in 1998 I was amazed. I'd never seen so many people in my life, or so many buses or trains or taxis or shops all in one place. I fell in love straight away!

When I came to live in London I'd had no work experience and not enough money to be a student, so I literally started at the bottom and worked my way up. My very first job was working 4 hours a day in a coffee hut in a train station in the middle of winter! Then I progressed to being a security guard, working 72+ hours per week. And then I had my first massive breakthrough, I got an office job paying me 13K pa, lol. But then gradually I worked my way up the career ladder and now I'm glad to say that I no longer have to do the shitty jobs!

Sometimes when it's raining and dark and grey I wonder what I'm still doing in London 11 years later, but the truth of the matter is that London is Home! Yes the NHS sucks sometimes, but where else in the world do you have 24/7 access to free healthcare? If I'm unemployed or old or disabled or a single parent then I can claim enough money in benefits to make sure that I will always have a roof over my head and not starve. I can go to cinema when I feel like, I have access to 24/7 grocery shopping thanks to the likes of Asda/Tesco/Sainsburys - basically, whatever I need is never more than a 15min car ride away.

So, to sum up, London got under my skin. I'm not originally from this country, I don't hold a British passport, but I am a Londoner through and through!

SO BRING IT ON PEOPLE - I'VE TOLD YOU MY STORY, NOW TELL ME YOURS!!!!

Just curious as to why so many people on this forum are so keen to come to the UK?

I wish that people like you would stop taking up peoples time on this forum. There is nothing that you can do to help people. The only thing that you know is how to make peoples' pockets lighter.

GO AWAY - OLE

If you really want to have your baby in the UK and you can afford to pay for private care then I would suggest that you use the Portland Hospital. It is a very reputable place. Click on this link and it will let you know the prices. Bear in mind that having a baby at the Portland is great if your delivery is straight forward, but if you or your baby suffer complications then things can get very expensive.

Of course, the alternative is to have your baby in an NHS hospital. Technically they aren't supposed to help you, but I've never yet known them to turn away anyone about to give birth!

Also, please do remember that all airlines have restrictions as to how far along you are in your pregnancy before they will prevent you from travelling with them. And if you look very very pregnant then there is always the possibility that you will be refused entry to the UK - unless you can prove that you've already booked a hospital for the birth, in which case you shouldn't be travelling on a visitors visa in the first place.

Please do note though that your baby having a British Birth Certificate won't actually entitle him/her to anything in the long run.

If, as Funkybaby suspects, you are planning on staying in the UK permanently after the birth of your baby, then please do think again. Of course, I don't know your personal circumstances but life without proper papers can be very hard in this country at the best of times. Let alone for a single Mum and her new born baby. You won't be able to claim Child Benefit or Child Tax Credits and you won't be able to work. Childcare is prohibitively expensive. Even if you use an unregistered friend then you'll be looking at paying at least £100 per week. Bear in mind that if you do eventually secure a job you may be looking at earning £5.73 per hour. Sounds like quite a bit if you convert it to Naira, but it's peanuts when you consider that you will pay at least £65 per week to rent a room (not a whole apartment!), then you still have your travel expenses - £13 per week if you travel by bus only and then you will still need to feed and clothe you and your baby.

In anycase, I wish you all the best. Please feel free to contact me with any further questions you may have.

Well, thanks for all of your replies! Nevermind, have made alternative arrangements now anyway!

I second Sweden or Norway.

But I thought that you were determined to go to Dublin or London??

Maybe cos more people speak English than Japanese??, lol

U need to get a Schengen Visa. So I suppose you'll have to travel to France, Italy or Holland first to get a connection. Go to their embassy once you know what route you'll take.

You might not need to do the test again. Check with the Home Office. But hurry on and get your citizenship because they're planning to change the law again before this year runs out. They're thinking of offering introductory citizenship before you can go ahead and become a full citizen. Fee is £655 for single application. £34 for Life in UK test and £40 to get your application checked by Local Authority.

In fact, let me reply to you again. See, easy citizenship doesn't happen anywhere in the world anymore. If you go to either of these cities without proper documentation then you need your head tested!

Nigeria is the better place to make money these days mate. Don't you know that Europe is in the middle of a Recession? Stay where you are and don't bother to join the people who are struggling everyday just to put food on the table and keep a roof over their heads!

Anyway, if you are insistent on making life hard for yourself you'll find that you'll face different issues in both countries. Of course either way, how you enter the country in the first place makes a difference to how easy your life will be when you get there. If you can get a legitimate work permit then go ahead and try your luck. But if you are one of the many that want to go the UK or Ireland because you think that the streets are paved in gold, then think very well again!

In theory, if you can prove that you have the means to support yourself financially and that you intend to return to Nigeria at the end of your holiday then you shouldn't need more than an invitation letter and bio page.

In practice, they'll probably require alot more info from your sponsor because if all he submits is an invitation letter and the bio page of his passport they are likely to claim that anyone could have written the letter and that anyone could have forged the passport bio page. The only way around this is to get your sponsor to have his documents endorsed by the Home Office in the UK. I think that the office that facilitates this is based in Milton Keynes.

In any case, pray!