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Jokes Etc / Re: akpors is realy funny (check) by MRXELA(m): 8:03am On Nov 09, 2012 |
(12)Akpors enters a church n finds the priest."How may I help you son?" asks the priest. "Am looking for my wife, she said she would be here but as I can see she's not around. Now that am here, I would like to confess". They go to the confession area,"forgive me father for I have sinned." "What are your sins my son?" The man replies, "The other day, I went looking for my wife at her home but she was not there. I found her sister alone, I slept with the sister." Oh, that is sin, but at least you came to confess". "Then another day I went looking for her at her aunt's place but she was not there, I found her cousin alone, I slept with the cousin". "You know that is wrong my son". "Then the other day I went looking for her at her working place. She was not there, I found her colleague alone,.." The priest interrupts, "Let me guess, you slept with her colleague?" "Yes father". There was silence after that. Father?" Father?" Still silent. Akpors peeps through and finds out that the priest is no longer there . He looks for him and finds him hiding."Why aree you hiding father?" The priest replies, "I've just realized I'm the only one here and you came looking for your wife" 5 Likes |
Education / Re: A.B.U Zaria 2012/2013 ASPIRANTS by MRXELA(m): 7:51am On Nov 09, 2012 |
mubarak629: ifu want genuine info on a.b.u 2012-2013 admissn den add me on 2go with mubarak629. am student of a.b.u!!!i no knw about any body but as 4 me ehh i no want any fake genuine in4mation, post any tin u get here |
Jokes Etc / Re: akpors is realy funny (check) by MRXELA(m): 7:43am On Nov 09, 2012 |
(11)Akpors and johnny went for an interview for employment. johnny was the first to enter the interviewing office.. (the manager asking johnny questions). Manager: who was the first millitary head of state in Nigeria.. Johnny: General Aguyi Ironsi.. Manager: when was the North and southern protectorate in Nigeria Almagamated. . Johnny: 1914.. Manager. Dat is gud of you.. Question no 3, is it true that the cure for hiv/ aids is discovered.. Johnny: eehm.. yes but not scientifically proven... Manager: good way of answering questions, pls can you wait for us outside and we will attend to you later... (when johnny went outside akpors asked him).. Akpors: johnny, what are the questions and please tell me the answers??.. (as johnny was about to tell akpors the questions and answer, the manager shouted from inside `NEXT'.. Akpors then said to Johnny).. Akpors. Ok tell me only the answers.. Johnny: answer to number 1 is: General Aguyi Ironsi, number 2 is=1914, number 3 is=yes but not scientifically proven (mumu Akpors got to d interview, after exchanging greetings, d manager told him to sit down) manager. Please sir, What is ur name? Akpors : General Aguyi Ironsi (manager became confused) Manager. Please what year where you born? Akpors: 1914 Manager: (angrily, he shouted at Akpors)!! are u mad?!!! Akpors: Yes, but not scientifically proven. 3 Likes |
Education / Re: A.B.U Zaria 2012/2013 ASPIRANTS by MRXELA(m): 7:08am On Nov 09, 2012 |
gud morin guys, hope u pple have a wondeful 9t, d ABU @ 50 programme started on 4th of oct and will end on 24th of nov. Mayb after d Anniversary programme dats wen d list will be out, i didnt, predict i guess, but am sure d list has been prepared and about 2 b release, u know i don't post anything dat comes out of my mind, but d list might be out b4 dat day, (any time 4rm nw). any hw shaaa God dey... |
Education / Re: A.B.U Zaria 2012/2013 ASPIRANTS by MRXELA(m): 11:02pm On Nov 04, 2012 |
Aliyu333: D fact is if i were pakavy i wil never post on dis trnd again,i use to find him guilty not until i received a better explanation.D MOMENTUM AT WIC WE ATTACKED HIM AT D FIRST PHASE WAS JUST TOO HIGH,EVEN WEN WE KNEW TWO WRONGS CANNOT MAKE A RYT.I RECALL ONE OF US SAYING HE SHOULD GO WE CAN DO IT ALONE SO Y IS HE NEEDED NOW-SIMPLY because D ONES WE TAKE AS BETA HOOKS AV ALL FAILED US.HMMMM U CAN START QUOTING BUT IN AS MUCH AS I AM ME,I....DONT.....GIVE......A......DAMNnonsense.... U dont av anytin 2 say, just go 2 bed |
Jokes Etc / Re: akpors is realy funny (check) by MRXELA(m): 8:47pm On Nov 04, 2012 |
(10)Akpos died and went 2 heaven where he met Angel Micheal Akpos::: So finally I mak heaven afta all d rubbish wey I do 4 life Tank God 4 God o Angel Micheal::: Oya cum enta ya room Akpos::: Bros Micheal wetin dey sup 4 downstairs cos d noise na DIE Angel Micheal:: Na hellfire b dat Akpos:: I fit go peep? Angel Micheal:: No wahala but we go lock gate by 5pm so if u nor quick cum back u go jus stay hellfire ""Akpos goes 2 peep and der he sees all d celebrities dat ever lived on earth clubin and avin alot of fun. Akpos comes bac by 4pm and Angel Micheal speaks::: 9ce 2 see u bac early my son you r truly a son of God O Akpos:: I come pack my load before Una Lock Heaven.. Angel Michael : Y ? . . . Akpors: i wan go groove 4 hell 2 Likes |
Education / Re: A.B.U Zaria 2012/2013 ASPIRANTS by MRXELA(m): 2:49pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
playcharles:i didnt say d wont be out on d 17th as u av said but i said wot wil hapen to u if d list doesnt come out on dat day.... |
Education / Re: A.B.U Zaria 2012/2013 ASPIRANTS by MRXELA(m): 2:35pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
playcharles:guy am not sayin d list wount be out on 17th as u av said, but if d list dnt come out wat wil happen 2 u? Just say any tin dat will happen 2 u |
Education / Re: A.B.U Zaria 2012/2013 ASPIRANTS by MRXELA(m): 1:11pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
i no blem una, so dis place has now become a place where any body can come 4rm any where and at any time 2 predict any things dat comes out 4rm his/her useless mind just 2 fustret pple. must of d pple do dis are those pple dat their hope is lost (dey dont av any hope of gainin admin) so instead of them 2 start saerchin 4 anoder hope somwher, day enjoy playin wit oda ppls faith. Wat is "d list is going 2 be out on d 17th?". We all knw dat no body knws wen d list is comin out dat y we nid 2 calm down and wait 4 d day. Guys, u pple should stop all dis nagative post and feed us wit positve ones plsss... I dom talk my own oooo 1 Like |
Jokes Etc / Re: akpors is realy funny (check) by MRXELA(m): 12:50pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
(7) Whoeva answer my nxt questn right can go home.. Akpos throws his bag outside.. Teacher : Who threw d bag? Akpors: Me, can I go home? - ( Teacher: Pig = Piglet, Eagle = Eaglet Akpors please give us another example. Akpors: SING = Singlet" - (9)Father: I heard you fell in love? Akpors: Yes papa!, I dug a big hole , named d hole love, climbed papa emeka's roof, and fell in it 6 Likes |
Jokes Etc / Re: akpors is realy funny (check) by MRXELA(m): 12:46pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
(6)Akpors last week moved with his wife to Victoria Island, Lagos. A thief came to his house one night and threatened to inject him with blood containing the HIV virus if he didn't drop all the money he collected from the bank the day before. Akpors: Are you going to leave me with the money if I allow you to inject me with the HIVvirus? The Thief: I will not collect the money and I will leave you. On hearing this, he told the thief to give him 2 minutes and he went to the toilet. When he came back from the toilet, he asked the thief to inject him with the HIV virus. The frustrated thief injected him with the HIV virus and left immediately. Immediately the thief left, the wife became hysterical The Wife: What the hell did you just do? Akpors: Don't mind the silly thief, he doesn't know that I put on a condom the other time Iwent to the toilet 2 Likes |
Jokes Etc / Re: akpors is realy funny (check) by MRXELA(m): 12:37pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
(5)Akprs was making love to a village girl whe she realized he was not using a condom. She asked him, "U 're not using a condom"? Akpors answered, "Yes". She said, "Hope u don't have HIV / AIDS . Akpors, "NO". Girl: "Thanx God, i don't want to get that thing again" #akpors fainted# |
Jokes Etc / Re: akpors is realy funny (check) by MRXELA(m): 12:35pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
(4)Girl: If we get married, stop smoking. Akpors: Ok! Girl: Drinking too. Akpors: Ok! Girl: N going to the night club too. Akpors:- Yes. Girl:-You stop watchin soccer matches with yo boyz Akpors: Okay! Girl:- What else can u leave?? Akpors:- The idea of marrying You 3 Likes |
Jokes Etc / Re: akpors is realy funny (check) by MRXELA(m): 12:32pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
(3)AKPORS THE PRESENTER PRESENTER AKPORS:Wats ur contribution? CALLER:There is dis lady i wanted in my life shortly after my NYSC,Bt all my efforts proved abortive, She wouldn't pick ma calls, she would laff at me while passin by for reasons best known to her, 5 months later, i was able 2 get an apartment, get a new car courtesy of a contract job i secured with a major oil company. Now most of d missed calls i have are hers, barrage of sms and all dat, i am confused on wot 2 do, Plz advice me. PRESENTER AKPORS: Listen up give her a call letting her knw u'll be at her house in 2hrs, Wen its tym call her up and delay for anoda 2hrs,Take a cool Shower, wear a nice outfit and attention catching perfume, When its tym drive 2 her house, Walk 2 her door and knock,once she opens, with d sexiest smile u've got, look stylishly into her eyes, draw her slowly to urself, take ur mouth close to her ear and whisper ''THUNDER FIRE U' 11 Likes |
Jokes Etc / Re: akpors is realy funny (check) by MRXELA(m): 12:28pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
(2)Akpors was doing his maths homework & saying: 2+5, the son of a bitch is 7 3+6, the son of a bitch is 9. .. His Mom : What are you doing? Akpors : I'm doing maths homework Mom : this is how your teacher taught you ? Akpors : Yes Infuriated, Mom asked the teacher the next day - 'What are you teaching my son in maths ?' Teacher : Right now, we are learning addition. Mom : you teaching them to say 2+2, the Son of a bitch is 4 ? Teacher after laughing : What I taught them was, 2+2, The Sum of Which is 4 ! 1 Like |
Jokes Etc / akpors is realy funny (check) by MRXELA(m): 12:23pm On Nov 02, 2012 |
Follow dis trend and laf at all akpors joke (1)Akpors goes into a chemist, reaches into his pocket and takes out a small bottle and a teaspoon. He pours some liquid onto the teaspoon and offers it to the chemist's assistant."Coul d you taste this please?" says Akpors. Chemist Assistant takes the teaspoon, put it in his mouth swills the liquid and swallow it.. "Does it taste sweet?" says Akpors "No, not at all" says Chemist Assistant. "Good" says Akpors....."the doctor told me to come here and get my urine tested for sugar"The Chemist Assistant fainted. 2 Likes |
Education / Re: A.B.U Zaria 2012/2013 ASPIRANTS by MRXELA(m): 8:44pm On Nov 01, 2012 |
heeey guys, hw una day nw? Av ben following oooo, seriously nuc no get mouth 2 bite na only barck them sabi abeg una 31st of oct neva pass? Mitchewwww if i tell una say i neva tire 2 wait na lie i day talk... Even the 3 carton of indomie i buy don finish hmmmmm God pls help us. Sheeey them say registration go start on 5th of dis month? soo make we expect d list b4 dat day |
Education / Re: A.B.U Zaria 2012/2013 ASPIRANTS by MRXELA(m): 3:00pm On Oct 25, 2012 |
let see if dis wil hapen again[quote author=Sodiq33]I thnk statistician use pass figures to predict what will hapin in d future...i wanna predict d list with past figures from 2008.. As i said earlier since wen prof.abdullahi mustapha resume office as d vice chancellor of a.b.u zaria,in 2009 admission list were been release a day b4 or on sallah day..in 2008,admission list waz release on d 27th dec 2008,whch is on sallah day or a day b4 sallah(stand 2 b corrected),also in 2009 admsn list waz release on d 12th dec 2009,(stil stnd 2 b correctd)..,in 2010,admission list waz release a day b4 or on sallah day whch waz on 16th nov 2010(monday)(stand 2 b corrected),also,in 2011 admisn list waz also release on sallah day whch waz on 6th nov 2011(monday)(stil stand 2 b correctd)..so,guys,dis year sallah is on 25th or 26th whch falls on thursday and friday respectively,22nd is d mdae of dat wik,nd 4rm wat i heard registratn 4 2012/13 session will strt on 27th of october..so,i predict 22nd or 24th of october 2012... NOTE-statistician use past figures 2 predict d future,nd dy re nt always correct..*peace*..[/quote] or what do u pple tink |
Crime / Re: 13yr-Old Girl Narrates Her Ordeal With Ritualist by MRXELA(m): 12:05pm On Oct 20, 2012 |
Callotti: See her 'Dumebi:The Dirty Village Fat Girl' face!lol guy u bad oooo so u no feel any pity or compassion on her instead ur callin her dumebi... Lol |
Education / Re: University In Nigeria With The Most Recognized Alumni? by MRXELA(m): 11:07am On Oct 18, 2012 |
afam4eva:fomer president yaradua, vice president namadi sambo and forma governour of kaduna makarafi thea are all 4rm abu |
TV/Movies / Re: The Best Nollywood Comedy Actor by MRXELA(m): 10:37am On Oct 18, 2012 |
Mortiple: Mine remains late SAM LOCO EFE (RIP)! That man was 1,000 miles ahead of the rest.if dis epko is who am tinkin of wooow then i tink u knw funy guys seriouly... D guy is tall, fair, slim my God dat guy is a bomb very funny and foolish lol dat my guy |
TV/Movies / Re: The Best Nollywood Comedy Actor by MRXELA(m): 6:17am On Oct 18, 2012 |
My list 1 charls inojie 2 francis odega 3 okey bakasi 4 mr ibu 5 ikem owoh 6 victor osuagwu 7 funke akindele 8 paw paw 9 dede one day 10 aki |
TV/Movies / Re: The Best Nollywood Comedy Actor by MRXELA(m): 10:41pm On Oct 17, 2012 |
shol: Odunlade Adekolathem give u options .... C waitin u da list am sure ur a yoruba guy... Nmh u like tribalisim like mad 1 Like |
TV/Movies / Re: The Best Nollywood Comedy Actor by MRXELA(m): 10:36pm On Oct 17, 2012 |
peterowode: Why didn't you add John Osuagwu & Okey Bakassinot john osuagwu it victor osuagwu |
Education / Re: A.B.U Zaria 2012/2013 ASPIRANTS by MRXELA(m): 9:37pm On Oct 16, 2012 |
Aliyu333: Wen u eat #800 food in a restaurant in ALUU,and suddenly realise you've forgot ur wallet at home.wat wil u dona me go 1st use my mouth day shout thief thief b4 any body start |
Education / Re: A.B.U Zaria 2012/2013 ASPIRANTS by MRXELA(m): 2:56pm On Oct 16, 2012 |
Matilda henshaw: allllllllll but not love searching........far,near wherever u are i beleive me,mrxela and others wil make u(abu,zaria)amen.... Maltida wer are u and wer is ur state of origin? And wat did u apply 4? |
Education / Re: A.B.U Zaria 2012/2013 ASPIRANTS by MRXELA(m): 12:26pm On Oct 16, 2012 |
Matilda henshaw: IF I WERE A BOY-I THINK I COULD UNDASTED HOW IT FEEL TO LOVE A GIRL,I SWEAR AW BE A BETA MAN.I WILL LISTEN TO HER COS I KNOW HOW IT HURT WEN U LOSE D ONE U WANTED COS HE IS TAKING U FOR GRANTED AND EVWYTIN U AV I WILL DESTROY...................(BOYS WAT UR REPLY)are u a peom writer, a musician, a playwrite, a comedian, an aspirant, a motivanal speaker, a preacher or a love searching baby |
Education / Re: A.B.U Zaria 2012/2013 ASPIRANTS by MRXELA(m): 6:19am On Oct 15, 2012 |
Slowstep thanks 4 all d information. U said after friday our list may b release... |
Education / Re: A.B.U Zaria 2012/2013 ASPIRANTS by MRXELA(m): 7:55pm On Oct 14, 2012 |
Pls like hw many student stays in a rum and is kongo far 4rm samaru? is kongo a comfortable plc like d main skul? What about security and other aminities like water and electricity |
Education / Re: A.B.U Zaria 2012/2013 ASPIRANTS by MRXELA(m): 7:53pm On Oct 14, 2012 |
Kogistan pls answer dis questions |
Education / Re: A.B.U Zaria 2012/2013 ASPIRANTS by MRXELA(m): 1:39pm On Oct 14, 2012 |
Kogistan pls dis is my question... Their z a mistake in the name of my date of birth certificate, instead of ALEXANDER OGECHI JOHN d foolish man put ALEXZANDER OGECHI JOHN is it gona affect my registration in any way? |
Education / Re: A.B.U Zaria 2012/2013 ASPIRANTS by MRXELA(m): 6:12am On Oct 14, 2012 |
kogistan: Hmmm...am an accountin aspirant pls any news.... My 2go pin (mrxela) |
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