Most people live from paycheque to paycheque.
By Mute Efe

Life gets a lot easier when you have more than one source of income. If your standard of living cannot be sustained if your salary stops coming then you are very much in the rat race.

At this point you are likely thinking if I am asking you to go and start your own business. No. There is a place for that but that is not what I am driving at here. There are many people running their own businesses as it were who are still living from paycheque to paycheque.

Business has become a generic term used by anyone who is not earning a salary by working 9 to 5 in an organization owned by someone else. So every self employed person says "I run my own business. Nobody pays my salary."

If you are self employed, there is a 99% chance that you are still in the rat race. As long as whatever you do will require your physical presence and if you stop doing it you won't get paid and if you don't get paid then you cannot sustain your present lifestyle then you are still in the rat race.

Artisans like plumbers, electricians, brick layers etc., fall into that category. They have to physically get the job done otherwise they won't be paid. But even if you are a motivational speaker, coach, consultant, etc., which is becoming the fad, you are also in the same category as the plumber and electrician.

Being a speaker, coach or consultant may be a fancy title but when the rubber meets the road your physical presence is required for you to do your job. You physically have to go for that speaking engagement or consult for that client for you to be paid.

So, while in form you may be different, the truth is, in substance you are not really different from the plumber or electrician. It does not matter whether you have 1,000 clients. As long as you physically have to be present to get the job done to get paid then you are living from paycheque to paycheque.

Both the plumber and the motivational speaker are both self employed but they still rely on the next paycheque to survive. So finding your path out of the rat race is not about resigning from your current job to becoming self employed.

One person can have a regular 9 to 5 but is not in the rat race. Another person may be self employed and still very much be in the rat race and vice versa. So it is proper we understand that not being in the rat race is not so much about the type of job you have.

Not being in the rat race is about being able to sustain your current lifestyle even when your regular monthly income from your job stops coming. That means you have an income line that does not require your physical presence. It is known as Passive Income.

Passive income is an income line that does not require your physical presence. While the idea of passive income sounds enticing, most of the time it requires that you already have some level of income saved which you can then invest in another venture that will be yielding a second income.

The second income yielded may be daily, weekly, monthly, yearly. But that becomes another source of income that does not require your physical presence. And there are many options available. Let's look at some examples.

Example 1: Assuming you disciplined yourself in terms of your spending and you were able to save a certain sum which you placed in fixed deposit and the interest yielded monthly could take care of your monthly expenses then you are financially free.

You may or may not be working anymore. But even if you were still working with your company you don't really depend on the salary you are being paid to survive. The fear of losing your job will not be there anymore because you have another income line that can take care of your bills.

Example 2: If the motivational speaker we saw earlier decided to write a book that can be downloaded from his website at a certain amount. If the sales of the book every month can take care of his bills then he is free. He no longer depends on his speaking engagements.

Most people who read my works see me as a motivational speaker or coach. I am self employed. I don't earn a salary. In this year 2017 I only honored one speaking engagement. I never had any live coaching session with anyone and the virtual coaching sessions I had all through the year were two.

How then do I make money? From sales of my books and my classes and both of them don't require my physical presence. I have structured my business such that I can run it from anywhere in the world without disrupting anything. That is why I can honour or turn down invitations at will without any fear. I don't depend on clients to survive.

Example 3: A business example. Let's say you are in a neighborhood where there are no drycleaners. Everyone in the estate has to take their dirty laundry to a drycleaner outside of the neighborhood.

You can decide to set up a drycleaning business within the estate. You hire a wash man to do the washing. You hire someone else to do the ironing. Someone else for the book keeping. Someone else to do deliveries to customers, etc.

All of these people in your employ do the day to day job required and they earn salaried in return while you make the profit from the business. Even though you set up the business, it does not require your physical presence but it brings in money to you.

Example 4: Network marketing. You can get involved in a network marketing business also known as multilevel marketing (MLM). Most MLM ventures will require an initial capital to get involved.

At the initial stage it will require you doing a lot of work but as your down lines increase you begin to earn passive income from them till you get to the point where your passive income can take care of all your bills.

All those examples are just a few of many ways by which you can generate passive income. All of those people can have a regular job but they also have an income line that does not require their physical presence or minimal physical presence.

Having two or more jobs do not mean you are generating passive income. It just means you have two or more jobs as long as you physically have to do the job.

A passive income must be an income line that requires minimum or no physical presence.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
What you just read is an excerpt from one of the chapters of my new eBook titled *Are You Like Most People? Finding your path out of the rat race* The eBook will be released on my birthday December 11th but you you can pre-order now to get a 33% discount.

Selling price: N1,500
Pre-order: N1,000

To pre-order, make payment to:
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Written by Mute Efe
Facilitator, School for Personal Leadership
www.facebook.com/personalleadershipwithmuteefe

Many years ago I listened to a preacher share about how his wife would leave the television on at night and sleep off and they lived in a country where you pay based on how long you keep the TV on. Leaving the TV on therefore increases the television bill.

That attitude of his wife would annoy him and he was always angry at his wife for doing that yet it continued. It was obvious it was going to become a strain in the marriage.

Then one day the Holy Spirit asked him, “Is your marriage not worth fifty dollars extra at the end of the month? If this attitude of your wife will mean an extra bill of fifty dollars is it too much to pay for peace to be in your marriage?”

Unlike me my wife is not a morning person. I can wake up by 2:00am, work till 5:00am, go back to bed and still get up by 6:00am and start my day. For my wife, I literally have to drag her out of bed in the morning. Her day begins only after she has had her bath.

In some homes, the wife is the one who goes to the kitchen to heat up water for the family to bathe. I guess it comes naturally with women. In my home, heaven help me if I wait for my wife to do that. I will wait for a long time. So I have resolved to make that my responsibility.

Even when the kids come, I guess I will still have to be the one doing that in the morning because my wife is not a morning person. If that is the price I have to pay for peace to be in my home, it is worth it. We are talking about the price of peace.

The wife of a friend somehow does not monitor the fuel gauge when driving. It is when the car finally stops that she realizes the car has run out of fuel. Guess who she will call? The husband. He will have to be the one to sort out the problem.

After several of such calls he had to find a way around it. He ensures the fuel tank is full at the beginning of the week which will take the wife through the week. That way he does not get any phone call that the car has stopped. It is the price of peace for him.

Let me pause here to say this. What you are seeing here are people who are exercising personal leadership in their lives. The ability to lead oneself is very important in this day and age otherwise you will be tossed by the issues going on. But when you know how to lead yourself you are able to choose your battles. Not every battle is worth fighting.

On the 12th of August, 2017, I will be teaching about personal leadership in a closed Facebook group to as many that are interested in knowing more. The class will help you become a better leader of yourself so you can lead yourself to achieve the kind of result you want in life. The class is an intensive 8 hour session that will completely change your life.

Registration fee for the class is N7,500. If you are interested send an SMS or WhatsApp message to 08038749796 for more details.

Now back to the subject. Yesterday one of my students shared some news with me that just broke my heart. Her son was expelled from a private university here in Nigeria because he defaulted in attending one of the morning devotion programs that is compulsory for all students of the institution to attend.

This program is obviously a religious meeting, so we can say it has nothing to do with academics. But he refused to attend and it has earned him an expulsion. He is a 300 level student in the institution. Just one more year left.

The painful part is that it wasn’t his first time to have defaulted. After the first offence he was made to sign an undertaking that he will never default in it and he did. He probably thought he was smarter than the institution because I don’t see why he refused to attend that meeting knowing what the consequence will be.

I could feel the pain in her voice as she shared the information with me. After all the millions spent in her son’s education just to give him the best a parent can give the child, he could not for the sake of peace attend the morning devotion meetings until he graduated. All he had to do was go there and sit down. Is that too hard to do?

We can begin to cast blame on the institution for making it compulsory for students to attend religious meetings in the school. We can even decide to sue the institution and begin a ten year legal battle. But at the end of the day you signed that you will do this why did you refuse to comply?

Sometimes we need to do things we don’t like for the sake of peace. If it is not too high a price then why not just do it and move on with our lives? Not every battle is worth fighting.

I should also state at this point that you must know that while you may be the one paying the price for peace in certain areas, the other party in the relationship is also paying the price for peace in other areas. Especially in a marriage relationship. No one is perfect. We are all work in progress.

What price have you had to pay for peace? Share with us by posting a comment.

Written by Mute Efe
www.facebook.com/schoolforpersonalleadership

P.S. If you are interested in the personal leadership class I mentioned in the article, remember to send your inquiry to 08038749796. SMS or WhatsApp.

The Value Test

The phrase "value adding" is very frequently used these days, yet it seems a lot of people are still unable to identify stuff that are value adding.

The Value Test will help you determine if something is of value to you or not. And also help you determine if what you are offering is of value to others.

The value test can be applied to anything including what you post here on Nairaland.

There are four areas that anything of value should impact. While it may not impact on the four at the same time. It should at least have an impact on one if them.

Anything of value should be able to meet one or more of the following:

1. Does it make me a better person?
This is the most important question anything of value should answer. Nothing else is as valuable as that which makes you a better person. At the end of the day it is what you become that is the most important thing. Every other thing comes after this. Information on health, relationship, parenting, marriage, personal development, time management, etc, fall under this category.

2. Does it make someone I know a better person?
Similar to the first and equally as important. You may not have health issues but someone you know do. A post you read on someone's wall may not be of benefit to you but of benefit to that other person that you know. So you take the information and pass it on to the other person.

3. Will it make my environment better?
Some information may not be for you directly but the information can impact on your environment which indirectly affects you. Information about going green, keeping your environment clean, life hacks, farming, etc, fall under this category.

4. Will it add money to my bank account?
If any information will not meet any of the first three criteria then it better meet this last one. Information that will help you generate more income and increase your financial status is definitely value adding. Information on business, skill acquisition, financial literacy, network marketing, etc, fall under this category.

That something makes you feel good and you quickly rush to post it here does not mean it will add value to anyone. It may be okay to do that once in a while just for the fun of it but definitely not as an everyday thing.‎

Questions:
1. Do ‎you know any other test that I may not have covered? Feel free to share with us by posting a comment.

2. In what way did this post add value to you?

For more of my articles please visit my Facebook page:‎ www.facebook.com/schoolforpersonalleadership

Read. Comment.

Regards,
Mute Efe
facilitator, School for Personal Leadership

Trinity, Trousers and Resurrection.

It was a few minutes past six in the morning when I got a message. I was thinking the person had something really important he wanted to ask. Like details on how he can register for my class or how he can order for my eBooks. I always like it when alerts start coming in early in the morning.

After the exchange of pleasantries I asked the guy if there was anything I could do for him. That was when I got the shocker of my life.

"Sir, please I have been doing a study on TRINITY and I have not come to my satisfaction with all the answers I have got so far. Can you help me throw some light on it?"

I received that message at 6:51am.

Long and short of my reply was that I referred him to his pastor. I believe he is being paid to explain concepts like that.

What I could not fathom was what value the knowledge of trinity was going to add to his life?

Establishing that The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit are one and the same person or that they are actually separate beings, what value does that really add besides what the bible refers to as "knowledge that puffs up"?

Why do we expend a lot of time and energy on issues that have little or no value? Is it not better to learn how to walk in love than trying to establish if wearing of trousers by a lady is a sin?

Is it not better to learn how to walk in love than debating whether Jesus actually died on Friday and resurrected on Sunday?

By the time you end up winning the argument what else? How has that affected the price of foodstuff in the market? If anything does not add value to you don't waste your time on it.

Pay attention to things that deserve your attention. Focus on things that add value.

For more of my articles you can visit my Facebook page, www.facebook.com/schoolforpersonalleadership

READ. COMMENT

Regards,
Mute Efe
Facilitator, School for Personal Leadership.

Love and Submission – Part 1

There are several texts in the bible where we are commanded to “love one another” and “submit to one another.” These commandments are also applicable in marriage. The man should love his wife and the woman should love her husband. The man should submit to his wife and the woman should submit to her husband, on a general level.

However, in the specific context of marriage, and this is where a lot of people get uncomfortable, another level of command is given:

Wives, submit to your own husbands – Ephes 5:22

Husbands, love your wives – Ephes 5:25

Two questions come to mind in those passages:

1. Why is “submit” used for wives and “love” used for husbands?
2. Is one a condition for fulfilling the other?

For the first question, it is with regard to roles of the parties involved. Like every organization, there cannot be two heads and members of an organization submit to the head of the organization. They don’t have to love him/her but they have to submit.

But while in all other institutions the head can be a man or a woman, in marriage, only a particular gender should be the head – the man. It is a God-given role. Hence, the woman is commanded to submit. Just as you may not like your boss but to remain in the organization, you have to submit.

The boss, on the other hand, in his/her capacity as the boss, does not have to submit to anyone in the organization but he/she can take advice from direct reports and heed their advice but when he/she chooses to disregard the advice given, whatever he/she chooses to do is what gets done, even if that decision will not favour the organization.

In marriage, the man is the head. Not the woman. His decisions are final. He may take counsel from the wife and abide by it but if he chooses to go contrary to her counsel, his decision stands, even if that decision will hurt the marriage. The more reason the decision of whom to marry should not be taken lightly.

For the second question, "Is one a condition for fulfilling the other?" The two commands are not connected as can be seen from the passage. None is a condition to fulfilling the other. Each stands alone. The bible did not say, “Wives submit to your husbands if your husbands love you.” It simply said, “Wives, submit to your own husbands.” Period. No conditions attached.

In the same vein, it did not say, “Husbands, love your wives if your wives submit to you.” It simply said, “Husbands, love your wives.” Period. No conditions attached.

Using one as a condition to fulfilling the other is actually a big mistake many couples make.

“Why should I love her when she does not respect or submit to me?” the man asks.

“Why should I submit to him when he does not love me?” the woman asks.

That is how the cycle continues until they appear in the divorce court.

The reason one is not a condition to fulfilling the other is because marriage is not a place to earn love or submission. The two have become one, remember? Do you earn your own love? Do you earn your own submission? No.

The day you married her, she earned your love. It has nothing to do with whether she submits or not. You are under obligation to love her whether you feel like it or not. You are commanded to love her.

The day you married him, he earned your submission. It has nothing to do with whether he shows you love or not. You are under obligation to submit to him whether you feel like it or not. You are commanded to submit to him.

Why is that so? Because you made the decision to marry him/her. If he was not worthy of your submission you should not have married him in the first place. If she was not worthy of your love you should not have married her in the first place.

But we are humans. We naturally want people to earn what we give to them to show that they are worthy of it. So we take that programming with us into marriage. Unfortunately, that programming creates problems in marriage.

How then do we fix this? Before marriage. Many of us are blinded by emotions during the relationship before marriage. But that is the time to ask the questions. “Can I submit to this man for the rest of my life even in times when I don’t feel like it?” “Can I love this woman for the rest of my life, even in times when I don’t feel like it?”

In marriage, love and submission are not born out of emotions. They are not things you do because of something your spouse has done. They are not rewards for good things done. They are acts of the will. They are like paying your child’s school fees. You don’t pay those fees because you feel like paying them, do you?

If you take a holistic view at all I have been saying you will find personal leadership at play. Instead of reacting to the situation you respond in a manner that will enhance the relationship.

Only a few men will not love their wives when she submits to the husband irrespective of the husband's unloving attitude and only a few women will not submit to their husbands when he continues to love the wife irrespective of the wife's unsubmissiveness. That is personal leadership.

Have I added any value to you today? I will be delighted to read your comments and contributions and also answer your questions If you have any.

For the Part 2 and more of my articles visit my Facebook page www.facebook.com/schoolforpersonalleadership

READ. COMMENT.

Thank you.

The one whom Jesus loves,
Mute Efe
Facilitator, School for Personal Leadership.

#Ladies101 – Part 7

The Conclusion of the Matter.

Sometime ago, I took a trip to Benin. My parents and two of my siblings live there. Then I decided to go see grandmom in Delta State. Meanwhile, there is this Facebook friend who had requested that I let her know whenever I was in Benin. That she would love to see me.

Let's call her Lady D. Somewhere between 26 and 30, a smart, beautiful and intelligent lady, lives in her own well furnished apartment, has a well paying job, running a business by the side, and about commencing her Masters.

She resides in Delta State. Incidentally, she works in the town where my grandmom lives with my aunt, one of the towns between Benin and Warri. But during her off duty days she goes back to the city where the rest of her siblings live, a 90 minute drive from the town where she works.

When I decided I was going to see grandma I sent her a message. Unfortunately it was her off duty day and she was already with the rest of her family and already had plans for the following day.

To my surprise Lady D cancelled all her plans for that day, went to the park and boarded a bus, a 90 minute drive, to the town where she works, where grandma lives, all because she wanted see me.

It was my first time in that town. So I decided I would meet with Lady D before going to see grandma. She gave me the description to her place which was easy to locate as it was not a big town.

Remember, Lady D is just a Facebook friend, but with the kind of reception she gave me at her place you would have thought a King visited her. The mere fact that she cancelled all her schedules for that day blew my mind. Who does that in this day and age?

After the wonderful reception at her place, instead of just giving me the description of how I will get to grandma’s place, she offered to go with me to go see grandma since she knew the town very well and helped me in buying the fruits I took to grandma. I couldn’t believe it.

Grandma is on wheelchair. We met her on the balcony taking some fresh air. So, we all sat outside together; grandma in her wheelchair, my aunt, Lady D and me, on stools provided by my aunt. Looking at us on that day you would have thought Lady D was a part of the family.

Does it really matter to me whether Lady D is a virgin? Sweetheart, I don't care. Virginity is not anywhere near the top of my list. She made me feel at home when I was with her. She made me feel like a king. She appreciated and respected me. She cancelled her plans just to see me. Those, my dear, are the more important qualities. I will run through a wall for a lady like that.

And let me add this as I round off this series. Don't do those things because you need a man. Do them because that is what it means to be a lady. Stop thinking that men are competing with you or that submission means servitude.

Okay, one other smart, beautiful and intelligent lady reads this and says Lady D was desperate for a man that was why she did all that. Sorry, that is where you missed it. You that is a virgin and not desperate; disrespecting all the guys around you; claiming you will only respect the man that pays your bride price. How many men has that attitude brought you?

A wise lady hears the truth and she alters her ways to conform to the truth. A foolish lady hears the truth and alters the truth to conform to her ways.

The End.

Mute Efe
BB PIN: 2BC01D81
WhatsApp: 08038749796
FB: www.fb.com/mutehimself

P.S. To get a complete picture of what the Ladies101 series is about please go and read from the beginning. An Introduction and 7 parts.

Ladies101 – Part 6

Lessons from Part 5

A couple of weeks ago I came across the #ICanWait campaign on Facebook. I may be wrong but to me it was basically about the pride of being a virgin and encouraging people to stay chaste. Which is Ok. Ladies and guys in their mid-twenties to mid-thirties participated in that campaign.

But if you think virginity is the most important quality a lady can have then I think we need to have some serious discussion. Because if all you have to offer is that you are a virgin then you missed it. You missed it by a long pole. Even though it is good to be a virgin, you still missed it.

There are so many things a man wants in a woman but virginity is not at the top of the list. Lady C might have been a virgin but who cares? Definitely not me. Did I mention that on the day they left I just came back home that Saturday afternoon and discovered they had left?

She was not even mature enough to tell me that morning that they will be leaving as the younger sister was through with whatever she was doing on the Island. She was not mature enough to ask her younger sister to thank me for accommodating them. To her, those things don't matter.

I called Lady C to the sitting room that Saturday morning to tell her I will be going out to return later in the afternoon. Only to return and there was nobody in the apartment. (My younger brother had traveled the day before). All I saw was the pair of panties of one of them hung on the bathroom door handle. So much for smart, beautiful and intelligent.

I can't believe it's time for another commercial break but, don't worry, when we return I will be sharing with you some simple things you may not want to hear but, trust me, develop these qualities and men will die for you whether you are a virgin or not.

Have you heard about the Personal Leadership Resources Facebook page? It's a one stop shop for all the resources I have to offer for your personal development. My training classes, books, ebooks, etc. are all uploaded on that page.

Visit the page and Like it to be updated with these resources.

www.facebook.com/personalleadershipresources

Ladies101 - Part 5

"Mute, you will go and pick up my sister."

Let's call her Lady C. She's in the age bracket of 26 to 30. She regards herself as a smart, beautiful and intelligent lady. I've known her for some time. We are from the same part of the country and speak the same language.

So I get a call from her on a Tuesday. "Mute, please, I need your help. My younger sister is around. She is doing something on the Island but she needs a place to put up. I was wondering if we can both stay at your place till she’s done. She will be done by Friday."

"Okay. So what day are we looking at here? When do you intend to come?"

"Today."

Oops! They want to come over today and she is calling me to tell me today. Well, technically, she is my person.

"Okay, no problem."

My younger brother lives with me. He is in the guest room. I will just share the guest room with him and give up my room for the ladies.

Later, that evening Lady C calls again. She says she is at Ogba but cannot find a Keke Napep to take her to my bus stop, that I should come pick her up.

Hello! It’s rush hour. The Keke Napeps have more than enough passengers to pick up so they don’t get to the usual bus stop. Passengers use their initiative to walk down the road and get on any incoming Keke Napep. So it pays them to pick up those passengers who walk to the other end of the road.

Not Lady C. She’s too intelligent for that. But it’s getting dark so I oblige her. Hop in the car and drive down to Ogba. I meet only Lady C.

"Where's your sister?"

"She's still on 3rd Mainland Bridge. I couldn’t wait for her to come meet me at the office. I'll be talking to her on phone."

We get back home and I show her the room they will be staying. Lady C keeps communicating with her younger sister, giving her directions on how to get to my bus stop. After which she is supposed to get a Keke Napep to the estate where I live. That was when it happened.

"Mute, you will go and pick up my sister."

Excuse me! Like you bought the car for me, right?

"Lady C, there are Keke Napeps right outside. Take one to the bus stop and go get your sister."

Lady C gets angry. Walks into the room to get money and walks out. Ten minutes later, she walks back in. Alone. Anger still visibly written all over her. She walks straight into the room.

About 45 seconds later, a younger lady walks in. She can't be more than 20 years old.

"Good evening." She keeps walking towards the only other door she could see. Probably figures that is where her sister must be since she's not in the sitting room.

"Excuse me," I say, bringing her to a halt. "Did your sister not tell you that the person who owns the place she got for you to put up during your stay is from your place?"

"Oh! Does that mean I should greet you in our dialect?"

No. Greet me in German.

Meanwhile, Lady C, who regards herself as smart, beautiful and intelligent, who ought to introduce her younger sister to me, is still in the bedroom, seething with anger because I refused to go pick up her sister.

Time for another commercial break, when we return we shall take a critical look at this story.

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Enypie:


No. Thanks though... I would love to host a Facebook class of N15,000 myself.

It's Ok. As long as you have a value worth N15,000 that people will be willing to pay for. You may want to take a look at my Facebook wall to see why people pay me N15,000 to attend my class.

Also, did I mention that I don't issue certificates? After paying the N15,000 you will still not get any certificate. What you learn is the certificate you will take away.

Enypie:
So, we're to pay N15,000 for a class that holds on Facebook?

Yes, Enypie, if you are interested in the class. It is not compulsory.

Ladies101 – Part 4

Lesson from Part 3

Intelligence could have whispered to Lady B, "You are a smart, beautiful and intelligent lady. You should be able to speak for yourself. If it is pizza you want, say it."

But maturity would have whispered, "Don't steal someone else's moment. This outing is not about you. Pick something from the available menu. Today is about the other lady. She is the only person who can reject what is on the menu."

Now you see the difference between maturity and intelligence. At what age are you supposed to know that? I don’t know. But if you grew up in the right environment you just know.

But Lady B might go around thinking that because she has a good job with a good career path, can pay her bills without any assistance, that qualifies her for marriage. Then when guys date her and dump her she thinks it is because she is too intelligent for them or her standards are just too high for them.

Sweetheart, it's not really that. There were certain things the guy observed. Things that, in your opinion, are not important. But you forget that you don't get to determine what is important for the other person.

I really hope that like Senator Ben Murray Bruce I am making common sense.

I think it's time for another commercial break. When we return we shall be looking at our last story.

When was the last time you read a book that you couldn't drop? A book that made sense from the very beginning up until the end?

The Beautiful Life: Classic Notes on Personal Leadership is one of such books. Thirty Chapters, 150 pages. You won't drop it till you are done. Available in print and ebook.

Print: N2,000 per copy (Available in Benin, Warri, Lagos, Ibadan, and Abuja)
Ebook: N1,000

To order, make payment to
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After payment send SMS with:
For Print: TBL * Name * Amount Paid * No. of Copies * Location * GSM No.
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Send to 08038749796

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For inquiries: 08038749796

Ladies101 – Part 3

"What I Want To Eat Is Not Here"

Sometime ago a friend of mine had a female friend of his pay him a visit. He needed to take her out but his car was not available as at the time she visited. So I agreed to help out.

To have a complete picture I decided to ask a smart, beautiful and intelligent lady I know to accompany us, letting her know we wanted to take our visiting friend out. Let’s call my smart, beautiful and intelligent friend Lady B. We drove to one of the fast food restaurants in Ikeja GRA.

I decided to place the order for all of us so I asked each person what they wanted. My friend and his girlfriend stated their orders. Then I asked Lady B for her order.

"What I want to eat is not here."

Seriously? I mean, this is the fast food restaurant of choice around and that is primarily because of the variety of food available. As long as it is food you will get it here.

"What do you want to eat?"

"Pizza."

(Oops!)

Okay, a gentleman never embarrasses a lady. Instead he finds a way to turn the situation around. So, I did a fast thinking and came up with a solution. My friend and his girlfriend will get their food here then we drive to the nearest pizza place and get pizza for Lady B and me. But let’s just get our drinks here.

Once again, everyone places their order. Everyone except Lady B.

"Lady B, what drink will you be having?"

"What I want to drink is not here."

(Owwkaaay! I think I know what is coming next.)

"What do you want to drink?"

"Ice cream."

Let's take another commercial break. When we return we shall draw some lessons from here.

The reason many of us keep going in cycles is not because what we are currently doing is wrong but because we may have missed the first step. Successful living begins with Personal Leadership. That is the first step. That is where you begin.

Come 23rd of January, 2016, I will be teaching the principles of personal leadership during the 20th session of School for Personal Leadership. A class that holds on Facebook.

Date: January 23rd, 2016
Time: 8:00am – 5:00pm
Venue: Closed Group, Facebook
Fee: N15,000

To register, make payment to:
Personal Leadership Resources
Guaranty Trust Bank
0160822431

After payment send SMS with:
SPL * Surname * First Name * Facebook Name * Email Address * GSM No.
Send to 08038749796

You will get a Facebook confirmation and be invited into class when the session begins.

For inquiries:
Mute Efe
BBM PIN: 2BC01D81
WhatsApp: 08038749796
FB: www.fb.com/mutehimself

Ladies101 – Part 2

Lesson from Part 1.

We all know about the Intelligence Quotient (I.Q) and Emotional Quotient (E.Q). Ladies who claim that most guys are intimidated by smart, beautiful, and intelligent ladies usually rate themselves high on the intelligence quotient. However, there is a third quotient that most of them are ignorant of. It is called the Maturity Quotient (M.Q).

Maturity and Intelligence are mutually exclusive. You can have a score of 100 on the Intelligence Quotient and score nothing on the Maturity Quotient. That you have one does not guarantee the other. But many smart, beautiful, and intelligent ladies don’t know that.

If you are a Nigerian and you are still wondering what was wrong in Lady A saying, "Hi, good evening," it is because you are low on the maturity quotient.

Did she not greet?

Yes she greeted.

So what was wrong?

Thank you for asking.

Intelligence is a product of intellect and a function of education. Maturity on the other hand is a function of environment or culture. It is about understanding the culture of the people you live with.

It is almost impossible to be regarded as intelligent if you have never seen the four walls of a classroom. But you can be mature without ever seeing the four walls of a classroom.

In Lady A's mind she did nothing wrong. I mean, this is the 21st century, isn't it? What is the difference between "Ekaro" and "Good morning"? Intellectually, you are actually saying the same thing in two different languages. Yet, every Yoruba man knows that "Ekaro" and "Good morning" are not the same.

So, the well educated and intelligent person comes before an older Yoruba person and says, "Hi, good morning," but the mature person says, "Ekaro" and that makes all the difference.

Now, this category of ladies will read this and say, "This has nothing to do with maturity. You are just a typical Nigerian man." That is exactly the problem.

When a man is in search of a wife he is not looking for a pair of breasts. But many smart, beautiful and intelligent ladies don't know that.

Question: How do you teach that to a 30 year old lady who parades herself as smart, beautiful and intelligent?

It's time for another commercial break. When we return we shall look at our second story.

If you are wondering how to set a direction for your life and stay on course, then Personal Leadership is what you need. Until you learn how to lead yourself you really cannot achieve much in life.

On the 23rd of January, 2016, I will be teaching the principles of personal leadership to registered participants of the School for Personal Leadership. Register and be a part of this class.

Date: January 23rd, 2016
Time: 8:00am – 5:00pm
Venue: Closed Group, Facebook
Fee: N15,000

To register, make payment to:
Personal Leadership Resources
Guaranty Trust Bank
0160822431

After payment send SMS with:
SPL * Surname * First Name * Facebook Name * Email Address * GSM No.
Send to 08038749796

You will get a Facebook confirmation and be invited into class when the session begins.

For inquiries:
Mute Efe
BBM PIN: 2BC01D81
WhatsApp: 08038749796
FB: www.fb.com/mutehimself

Ladies101 - Part 1

"Hi, good evening."

Having introduced the series and what it is about (you can go and read the introduction part if you missed it), let us go straight into our first example.

Let's call her Lady A. Lady A regards herself as a smart, beautiful and intelligent lady. She works and pays her bills. She does not really need any man to take care of her. We happen to be from the same part of the country but not exactly the same ethnicity.

On a certain day, Lady A accompanied me to a friend's place whose wife just gave birth to their second child. My friend happens to be of the same ethnicity as Lady A. So they speak the same language and both bear native names. When I introduce them to themselves they will know immediately that they are from the same place.

To avoid any embarrassment, having known Lady A for a while, I decided to do the needful. As I pulled over at my friend’s place I took a few seconds to let Lady A know whom we were visiting.

"Lady A, this man whom we are visiting is from your place and more than 10 years older than you. Please when I introduce you to him at least greet him in your dialect. You can switch to English after that but at least show him that respect by greeting him in your dialect."

"Ok."

Then we went in and I did the introduction. "Lady A meet Mr. X. Mr. X meet Lady A."

You could see the excitement in Mr. X's eyes as he heard the name of Lady A. Then Lady A went, "Hi, good evening."

Oops!

Did I just hear, "Hi, good evening," or did my ears deceive me?

Let’s take a commercial break. When we return we shall look at the implication of what Lady A just did and how men interpret it.

Have you heard of LadiesRoom? It is a subscription based Facebook group for ladies where the application of personal leadership in relationships is discussed. Instead of asking for what to do after a crisis in your relationship, in LadiesRoom you learn what to do so there will be no crisis.

Subscription is just N2,000 per quarter and it covers the very quarter in which you joined the room.So you pay N2,000 now and it covers the months of January to March, 2016. But you have three days free access to decide if you will want to become a member.

Click here to join. www.fb.com/groups/lroom

Strictly for ladies. Terms and Conditions apply.

Ladies101 – Introduction.

Smart. Beautiful. Intelligent.

This is to all the ladies out there who think that guys are afraid of Smart, Beautiful and Intelligent ladies. My objective is to help you realize how wrong you are and also help you see exactly where you miss it. Peradventure some will have a rethink and amend their ways.

One of my quotes goes thus, “When a wise man encounters the truth, he adjusts his ways to conform to the truth. When a foolish person encounters the truth, he adjusts the truth to conform to his ways.”

In the course of this 7 Part series (excluding this introduction part) I will be sharing a few of some personal experiences I have had with several smart, beautiful and intelligent ladies that I will never introduce to mama. Not in this life. Not in the life to come.

Sharing these experiences is not in any way an attempt to spite them hence I will not be mentioning their names. I am only using these stories as illustrations that a lot of you reading this will be able to relate with. If any lady can do what these ladies have done then there are millions of ladies out there doing the same things right now.

I believe there are three sides to every story – My side, Your side, and what really happened. Therefore, I would have loved to mention their names so they can also share their side of the story but we both know that the fallout of that approach will be much more detrimental to them than beneficial. So no names will be mentioned.

Also, I am not in any way saying all Smart, Beautiful, and Intelligent ladies out there who really want to get married but are still single are victims of this but, if I am to go by these experiences and of others shared by other guys who have also had similar experiences then a very large percentage of ladies who parade themselves as smart, beautiful and intelligent are actually ignorant of what men want.

Without much ado, let me bring this introduction to a close so we can delve into the main issue. I know some of you cannot wait to read the full series, already. Unfortunately we have to go on a commercial break.

On the 23rd of January, 2016, I will be holding the 20th session of School for Personal Leadership on Facebook. It is a class where you will learn the principles of personal leadership so you can better lead yourself in a world that is filled with so many distractions.

Date: January 23rd, 2016
Time: 8:00am – 5:00pm
Venue: Closed Group, Facebook
Fee: N15,000

To register, make payment to:
Personal Leadership Resources
Guaranty Trust Bank
0160822431

After payment send SMS with:
SPL * Surname * First Name * Facebook Name * Email Address * GSM No.
Send to 08038749796

You will get a Facebook confirmation and be invited into class when the session begins.

For Inquiries:
Mute Efe
BBM PIN: 2BC01D81
WhatsApp: 08038749796
FB: www.fb.com/mutehimself

A small step in the right direction can result in a big change in your life. That was the case of Aderonke Akinola Akinlotan (see picture), who was fed up with life because nothing was happening according to plan. Until she took a small step that changed her life.

Ronke completed her secondary school in 2002 but could not get into the university until 2011, nine years later. Most of her peers had already graduated and started working. 'Living the life' like we will say.

That feeling of being behind her peers got into her. A two or three year delay may have been regarded as normal, but nine years? Ronke lost hope of ever becoming something meaningful in life.

Her self-esteem was low and she was depressed. She could not find any reason to continue living. In 2012, a few months after gaining admission into University of Agriculture, Abeokuta, she heard about School for Personal Leadership (SPL), a class that holds on Facebook, where participants are taught the principles of personal leadership. She enrolled for the class.

While in SPL she learnt that she had the power to change things and can still make a meaning out of her life and she was given practical steps that would help her.

Today, 3 years after she attended SPL, Ronke just completed her final exams, she is married and already has a fashion outfit of her own. Ronke is nothing like the lady that attended SPL depressed. Life is Beautiful now.

If you ask her what was the turning point in her life she will tell you it was School for Personal Leadership.

There will be another session of School for Personal Leadership taking place in a closed group on Facebook on the 21st of November. Registration fee is N15,000 but if you register in this month of October you get a N5,000 discount.

Register in October : Pay N10,000
Register in November : Pay N15,000

To register, make payment to:
Personal Leadership Resources
Guaranty Trust Bank Plc
0160822431

After payment send SMS with:
SPL * Surname * First Name * Facebook Name * Email Address * GSM No.
Send to 08038749796

You will receive a Facebook confirmation and be invited into class on the 21st of November.

For inquiries: contact Mute Efe
BBM PIN: 2BC01D81
WhatsApp: 08038749796
FB: www.fb.com/mutehimself
FB: www.fb.com/personalleadershipresources

I just came back to see how this post did. I am amazed at the number of views it got. Thank you nairalanders.

courage89:


While i agree with you that the greatest inspiration a man can have is his will to achieve something. I therefore disagree with you that e-books, seminars are waste of time and money.

When you attend seminars; you don't just gain knowledge based on the preaching, you also network with like minds. When you read, you gain valuable knowledge that can/will help you succeed in this information era. The knowledge, network and other benefits you gained from sacrificing your time, money and other resources can only work for you depending on your belief and vision. They are part of your acquired asset waiting for judicial dispensation and utilization, and as long as you have those assets at your disposal, they will always work for you...hence justifying the resources spent.

There is a saying "Not all readers are leaders, but all leaders are readers. Also, "Not all the books you read and /or all the network created will lead to success...but to be successful, you need to read all the books you can get and network with every necessary being possible. You don’t know where your success will come from and in what form... but, you need to be prepared to spot them whenever they rear their head and to capitalize on them. Whenever preparation meets opportunity, success is always inevitable.

Read more, attend the seminars, and create plans for meeting the right people and you’ll be happy you did because success will always be inevitable.

Well said, courage89. I couldn't have said it better, myself.

Hidentity:
I don't see the concept as a problem in itself, however, when anything comes to Nigeria, it is like giving a stethoscope to a carpenter, he will attempt using it as a nailing tool. Abuse is inefficient. I support feminism, I can be one for the great ladies whose prospects and chances are troubled by primitive mentalities of African convention, but quote me, I can't for a Nigerian lady for now.

I've not met any who has the right mental understanding of feminism. It is not relegating men to the back seat or revolting against anything that has to do with men as many wrongly hold, it is less aggressive and more effective.

You've spoken well. We like misconstruing things.

Kitme:

I guess you are the op, right?
Yes, I said mtcheew because you are biased, you're speaking from the warped mentality of an average nigerian men
Anyways, if you don't see feminism as a threat, why the long, boring epistle?
To each his own, and may God grant you the wisdom to accept things you can't change..(Feminism)

Is it that you have problems answering simple questions? What is biased in that article? State one sentence in the article that is biased? Just one sentence, not two.

Kitme:

Why not?
My achievements doesn't stop that and I won't let any maid do my duties for me
But don't ask me to limit my ambition, I can fight for that

Kitme, was there anywhere in the article where you were asked to limit your ambition? Your very first comment was a "Mtchew." Now, explain why you hissed at the article, you are beating about the bush. Where was it written in the article that you should limit your ambition?

etiosa97:
In erigga's voice. Omo na copy and paste o

Please I don't get you. What do you mean by it's copy and paste.

We all know the Serenity Prayer:

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."

I am not sure if my feminist sisters have ever come across that prayer. Because with the kind of articles they write and the causes they claim they are fighting for, they seem to have gotten it wrong.

But, first, what has that prayer got to do with feminism?

Somehow, the subject of feminism is becoming very popular by the minute. More and more people, especially ladies, are beginning to go around with that label clearly written on their forehead and my Nigerian sisters are not even helping the matter at all. Not with this herd mentality. Chimamanda is a feminist therefore I must be one. Mtchew!

I wish one of them will come and share with us how feminism has helped the society generally, especially our own. How have marriages become better since wives suddenly discovered that cooking for their husbands make them slaves?

Anyway, I will come back to that. Please place your bookmark there.

Don't get me wrong. Feminism is a good cause that has turned into a hydra-headed monster because of people who have not even checked out the meaning of the word.

If what feminists should be fighting for is what my Nigerian sisters who go by the label 'feminists' are actually fighting for, I would have applauded them.

Let's look at some of the statistics on women as at 2014:

1. A baby girl born in the UK is likely to live to 81, but if she is born in Swaziland she is likely to die at 39.
2. In Chad only 1% of the girls go to school.
3. Worldwide, only 1% of titled land is owned by women.
4. Every one minute one woman dies during childbirth.
5. 44% of all women in the UK have experienced either physical or sexual violence since they were 15 years old.
6. 99.3% of women and girls in Egypt have been subjected to sexual harassment.
7. 80% of 1.2M children trafficked into slavery each year are girls.

Now, those are just a tiny bit of what women are going through all over the world including the so called Land of the free - United States of America.

Now, here is a question for you. How many of our Nigerian feminists have you heard talk about those statistics and that they were going to dedicate their entire lives to correct the anomaly? Very, very, very, ……….., very, very, very few.

Instead, what do we hear them talk about?

1. Why can't a lady be free to dress the way she wants without being labeled?
2. Why must a lady be the one to cook for her husband, why can't the man cook for himself?
3. Why must the woman submit to her husband?

Issues like the ones listed above are what bother them.

Why can't the man do his own cooking?

Seriously? Is cooking for the man you said you love your biggest problem on earth now? But it does not bother you that when the generator needs to be started; when the light bulb needs to be changed; when the lawn needs mowing; when the car has a flat tire; when a cockroach needs to be killed; the man does all of these and more without questioning why you can’t do them.

It does not bother you that in some cultures in this very country the woman is compelled to sleep with the corpse of her husband for several days and to drink the water with which the corpse was bathed. And guess who executes the order on the bereaved woman? Fellow women.

Yes, women compel a fellow woman to drink the water with which her husband's corpse was cleansed. All in the name of asking her to prove her innocence in the death of her husband. They forget that the cane with which the first wife was flogged is also waiting for the second wife.

Of course, most women's problems begin with "men"; menopause, menstruation, mental breakdown, etc, so my feminist sisters have decided to dump all their problems at the feet of men. The angels are watching you.

Recently, I read an article where a woman took her 9 year old daughter to a women's seminar where most of the speakers were either separated or divorced and they spoke on issues bothering on relationships between men and women.

At the end of the event, in an attempt to know if her 9 year old daughter was able to learn anything from the conference she asked her what was her major take-away from the event. The innocent girl said she learnt that divorce can be good or bad depending on the situation. This woman was proud of her daughter.

Are you kidding me? That divorce can be good or bad depending on the situation? Is that what kids are being taught now? That I recommend divorce instead of losing your life, does that make divorce in itself a good thing? Is that a systematic way of fixing issues? You only chose the lesser of two evils. Keep enduring the abuse and possibly lose your life or divorce the man. That does not make divorce a good thing.

Then there was this lady who placed a comment on an article written by another feminist where she narrated how her dad came visiting in her matrimonial home. She served him and when he was done eating he motioned for her to come clear the table. She said she was 'taken aback'. Those were her exact words.

She was surprised that her father, from whose loins she came; the man who invested his love, money, time, efforts, and gave her a good education; she was surprised that he asked her to come clear the table after he was done eating.

What even made it worse for me was that she had the guts to post this as a comment for the world to read. These are the kind of people that call themselves feminists in Nigeria.

Anyway, back to the serenity prayer as I tie this up. To all my feminists sisters all over the world, you may want to disagree but hopefully, with time, you will get to see that there are some things you can change and there are some things that you cannot change. However, you decide how you will respond to the things you cannot change.

Now, listen very carefully to the following words. From now till the end of the world, men will mostly be judged by their abilities, and women will mostly be judged by their character. I promise you, you will never be able to change that.

Hate me all you want. Call me a misogynist. Give me labels that are not even in the dictionary, yet. At the end of the day, men will mostly be judged by their abilities and women will mostly be judged by their character. At least from a societal standpoint.

I did not make it so. I wish I could change it. But after deep introspection I have come to identify with the serenity prayer.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."

As always,
The one whom Jesus loves,
Mute Efe.
2BC01D81
08038749796
www.facebook.com/mutehimself

P.S. Before we get carried away by this Feminism drama. Please if you are a lady you may want to join my "ladies only" group, #LadiesRoom. The objective is to help ladies have better relationships through personal leadership.

It is a subscription based group but very affordable. You can join the group by clicking on the link below:

www./lroom

I am one of those men that will be marrying late, at least, by societal standards. That, of course, means I am in my mid-thirties. But I do not have any regrets. I have become well cooked. Would I have been happy if I had gotten married when most of my friends did between the ages of 26 and 30? Yes I would have been happy. I always said this joke of how I don’t want to be taking my kids to school and their friends will be asking them if I was their grandpa. Hehehe! Well, that’s life.

However, waiting this long has been more than worth it. I could have been married at 30. But then I realized I had not truly discovered myself. Why find a wife when I was yet to find myself? So I decided to find myself, first.

I wanted to find myself, first, so my wife will know what she will be getting into when we get married. I want her to meet me doing what I will be doing for the rest of my life. It was what my mom met my dad doing that he did till he retired. I think I like that. I once heard of a lady who married a musician and everything was very good until the musician woke up one morning and said he wanted to be a pastor. She screamed, "Chisus!" That was the beginning of their problems. I hear they have been long divorced. Please don't quote me. I don't know how true the story is.

Anyway, now that I have found myself I think I can tell you what you will be getting into when we get married if we get married.

1. I am a very selfish person. I am not interested in saving the world. I am not one of those people with a grand vision to save the world. Like if they die the world will stop rotating. I am only interested in saving myself. Well, since we will become one after marriage, I guess that includes you. Then we can talk about the rest of the world.

2. Three things drive me: Freedom, Meaning, and Money. These three elements must be present in everything I do - It must not rob me of my freedom; it must be adding value to someone else; and I must make profit out of it. But if I have to prioritize then it must also be in that order. I will sacrifice money for meaning, and sacrifice meaning for freedom. Did I remember to tell you that I am a selfish person?

3. Don't ever expect that I will become one famous person that will make the ladies gasp for breath and say, "Dear God" when they see me, and start asking for my autograph. Yes, my name will be famous because of what I do. But physically, I will not. I will be that guy that will walk into a room, filled with people talking about me and they will not know that I am right there in their midst. With me, fame is fickle and awards mean nothing. But, of course, I would love to see you, my darling, become a Doro Mega Super Star.

4. Okay, you may or may not like this but I think you deserve to know up front. Don't worry; nothing is wrong with that department, so calm down. Hehehe! Having been driving for quite a while, something happened and I had to resort to public transport for a few weeks. Aside from those one or two days when the car will be with the mechanic, that was the longest time I had to go without a car. So, once again, I started jumping buses.

Initially, the experience was not pleasant until I found a way to make something good out of it. Throughout the few weeks I did this I paid the fares of students and senior citizens that happened to be in the bus with me (working class can take care of themselves). Believe me, it felt heavenly to see people who don't know me and may never see me again for the rest of their lives become happy over a N100 fare that I paid for them.

So I have decided that I will continue with this. Even after we get married, two months out of every year, I will do that. I will leave my car at home (of course, you can keep using yours) and go with public transport for 30 days at a stretch so I can pay the fares of students and senior citizens. I also want to feel the pulse of the people. I hope you can cope with the smell that implies I will be coming back home with at the end of the day.

5. Finally, you do know that even roses have thorns; I want you to see this as the thorn. Even though I don't like it and I really, really, pray it never comes to this, I want to let you know that for me divorce is an option. Yes! I said it. But in case you missed it the first time let me say it in caps, DIVORCE IS AN OPTION. There are many things we don't like yet we do them if it becomes necessary. So is divorce to me. I don't like it but I'm ready to go through it if it becomes necessary.

If you push me to the point where I become certain that staying married to you will drive me insane and make me end up in hell, sorry love, I’ll rather I divorced you and made heaven with a sane mind. But like I said, I don't like it and I pray it never gets to that. But I believe it is only fair that I be open with you from the start so you know what you are getting into and make an informed decision.

So, now that you know what you will be getting into I hope you can still find it in your heart to love me and that we will make a wonderful couple, God helping us. Amen! But please before I take my leave can you answer the following questions for me?

1. Have you found yourself?
2. That guy or lady you are currently dating or married to. Can you really say he/she has found him-/herself?

Please let me know when you place your comment. Believe me, these are questions you don't want to leave unanswered.

Thank you.

As always,
The one whom Jesus loves,
Mute Efe.

Talk2Mute:
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Twitter: @Mute_Efe
Mobile: 08038749796
Email: mute.efe@gmail.com
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Please Read This:
If you want to become deliberate in your personal development then you should subscribe to Mute’s Notes. It is exclusively for people that are seriously interested in their personal development. We will be together in a closed group and two articles will be published monthly. There will be group discussions on the articles and group live chat sessions with me. Subscription is for 6 months.

To subscribe:
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Thank you.

It is the end of the year and in a matter of days we will be celebrating the New Year. Then what?

The only thing that is guaranteed for everybody next year is that if we are all alive we will get older. If you are 25 now, you will be 26 next year. That I can guarantee you. Besides that, nada! Nothing else is guaranteed.

But we all want something else besides getting old, right? The question, however, is how do you plan on going about that? You cannot remain the way you are now and expect things to be different next year.

With all the debates going on between President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan and General Muhammed Buhari, a lot of people are beginning to lose sight of the most important factor for a successful year. You. Yes, you. How your life will turn out next year is 90 percent dependent on you. Not GEJ or GMB. There are beggars even in the most developed nations of the world. You cannot have something for nothing.

Everything you will accomplish next year will be hinged on just one factor – information. Your life evolves in direct proportion to the information you have and what you do with the information. If your income is going to increase it will be based on the information you have. If your marriage will get better it will be based on information. If your business will do better it will be based on information. Information is critical.

Every one of us was born empty. We all get better based on the kind of information we take in and act upon. That is why your personal development is your responsibility. Ignore this and you will regret it in a few years’ time.

I know that not too many of us really have the time to attend workshops, seminars, trainings, etc. to develop ourselves. For some of us our jobs are really demanding and we really need the money. There are bills to pay. I will not deny that. However, you need to accept that if your life must get better you must bear the responsibility. That is the first step.

Now, even if you belong to that class where there is so much pressure on your time, you still have to make a way. You are not going to use a lack of time as the excuse why couldn’t maintain your relationship, whether courting or married. You are not going to use a lack of time as the reason why you couldn’t raise your children right.

The truth is, whatever is truly important to us, we always find a way to make out time for them. After all, in the midst of your busy schedule you still find the time to sneak in to Facebook to catch up with what is happening on your timeline. That is why you can actually read this right now.

How about converting those 5, 10 minutes into your personal development? Won’t it be nice to be on Facebook and actually read meaningful stuff that will help make you better? Stuff that will help you become a better employee at your place of work, a better partner to your spouse, a better parent, a better businessperson. And you get all of that and more right here on Facebook. What a lot of us don't know is that we can be a whole lot more with the same time we have right now. We just need to make it count.

From January, 2015, a group called Mute’s Notes (www./mutesnotes) that has been designed to help people who really want to take responsibility for their personal development will commence. It’s a group dedicated to life and living. Making you a better person in an ever busy world.

Every month, two or three articles will be published in the group. The articles will be discussed by the members of the group to share lessons learnt. Then there will be group live chat sessions fortnightly at a predetermined time where everyone will be online at the same time to help build one another. It’s going to be a community of people helping one another. Members will also receive SMS notification every time an article is published in the group.

Ok, what’s the catch? The catch is that to make sure only people with a desire to improve are in the group, there will be a one-time subscription fee of N5,000 for 6 months, January to June, 2015. Subscription can be renewed if you feel you got value for your money after the first six months. Otherwise, you can choose not to renew.

But for those that will be daring enough to subscribe before December 31, they will get a 40 percent discount. So they get to pay N3,000 instead of N5,000. But from January there will be no more discounts.

Those who wait for others to share their experience usually lag behind in life. Those who dare, more often than not, make the most of their lives. Money spent in your personal development is not wasted. It is an investment.

If you will like to subscribe to Mute’s Notes please see payment details below:

1. Pay subscription fee to:
Personal Leadership Resources
Guarantee Trust Bank Plc.
0160822431

2. Send an SMS in the format below to 08038749796
MN * Surname * First Name * Facebook Name * Email Address * GSM No

After your payment is confirmed, you will be invited into the group via your Facebook name as stated in the SMS you sent.

Thank you.

The one whom Jesus loves,
Mute Efe

Inquiries:
BB PIN: 2625EA25
Twitter: @Mute_Efe
Mobile: 08038749796
Email: mute.efe at gmail dot com
Facebook: www dot facebook dot com slash mutehimself

stonecoldcafe:
Lol; I like this. Food for thought.

Thank you stonecoldcafe. You can visit my page on Facebook for more articles.

"I take you to be my lawfully wedded wife, my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live."

My darling wife, those were the words I said to you in the presence of many witnesses on that beautiful Saturday. It was the most beautiful day of my life. No other day before or after can compare with that day. Standing before the love of my life and saying those words was magical.

It's been several years after and I am so sorry to tell you the truth, I lied. I promised to love you unconditionally but I've realized that I lied to you. Sweetheart, I tried, I really, really, tried, but it just isn't working.

Sweetheart, you've got to help me here. I am human and I have my limits. The first few years of our marriage was blissful. It was heaven on earth until you started playing those mind games with me. Rather than telling me what you wanted you expected me to just know. You expected me to just read your mind and know what you wanted. You have no idea how draining it was for me.

Then the kids came and I could no longer tell my place in the family. Do I come before the kids or the kids before me? I could not tell if you were married to me or the kids. The kids became your excuse for everything. Even your dress sense changed and it was because of the kids. Honey, I know it was challenging, I know that naturally, they needed more of your attention and I am really grateful for being the wonderful mother you are to them. But you are also my wife just as I am a father to them and a husband to you.

The sex. Where do I even begin? It used to be a wow moment. You were never ashamed to initiate it. Your hands were all over me just as I couldn't get my hands off of you. I was sure you enjoyed it because you always told me. But those days seem to have gone. Now you are just like a log of wood waiting for me to be done so you can move on with your life. You just consent to it so it does not seem like you are not fulfilling your matrimonial duty. But it is more than just lying in bed.

Your ambition. I have always known that you were going somewhere to happen and I loved you for it. There was a fire in you. You were purpose-driven then. Today, all I see in you is ambition. All you talk about is how to get to the top of the ladder. You've become so consumed with ambition I doubt if you even know the difference between purpose and ambition. You are so consumed with your ambition you can’t even see that we are falling apart. My input no longer counts. You ask for it but you go ahead to do whatever you want, anyway. I thought we were each other’s highest priority. I guess I was wrong.

All these years, as I watched you become another woman,those words I said to you that Saturday morning kept coming to me. Can I really continue to do this "Unconditionally" thing? Maybe for someone I have no feelings for. But for you, my darling, you are my everything and I want to be your everything, too. You've got to help me here because I finally realized that on that Saturday morning when I said those words to you, I lied to you. I am sorry I lied. THE END

Won't you like to be part of a special group where the members are interested in personal development? Personal development is an investment not a waste of time and money. Mute's Notes (www./mutesnotes) is a subscription based group on Facebook where the members get to read two very mind-challenging and life-transforming notes every month, and they also get to discuss the notes in an interactive session to find out how they can apply the lessons in their lives.

Members also have group live chat sessions where almost everyone is online at the same time to discuss and bond. Indeed it is a community of people with focus and you get to be part of this with only N5,000. You get 40 percent discount if you subscribe on or before December 31st.

To subscribe:
1. Make a payment of N3,000 before December 31, in favour of
Personal Leadership Resources,
Guaranty Trust Bank Plc.
Acct No: 0160822431.
From January the subscription fee will be N5,000.

2. Send an SMS in the format MN * Surname * First Name * Facebook Name * Email Address * Mobile No. to 08038749796.

You will get an SMS confirmation in return acknowledging your payment. After subscription you will be invited into the group via the Facebook name you stated in the SMS.

Subscription fee is for 6 months - January to June, 2015.

Now, tell me, did you learn anything from I Am Sorry I Lied - Part 1, that you just read? I'll like to know if I added any value to you or if you have any part you object to, kindly let me know by leaving a comment.

Thank you

The one whom Jesus loves,
Mute Efe

Talk2Mute:
2625EA25
@Mute_Efe
0803-874-9796
mute.efe at gmail dot com
www.facebook.com/mutehimself

LordRazor1:
Wow, it's high time we woke up from this slumber of silly pleasure at the expense of things that truly matter more and veer into this sphere of personal development (most especially as men cos the women are fast taking over since most of us abdicated our responsibility far too long) as on it hinges a whole lot which our lives depend on. Thanks for the awareness. Hope a positive change ensue.

You are welcome, LordRazor. Thank you, also, for taking the time to read through that long article.