The audacity of the woman to change their children's last name to her new husband is the height of hypocrisy and very appalling. She consented to living with him and bore him children even though he didn't pay her bride-price. Yet, when she meets a new man decades later, she decides to change the children's last name under the excuse their father did not pay her bride-price. What a hypocrite.

Here is the video,


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwbAfdqrAdY

Not true. A man was stunned to discover that the child he was raising was not actually his after his wife died and two men sent him a nasty letter informing him that the child wasnt his. A DNA test was done and it was discovered the child wasnt his biologically. He still loved the child but the court sided with the biological father and he lost custody of him. The child doesnt have his last name anymore. It was on Oprah Winfrey's show.

https://www.nairaland.com/13738/dna-testing-kids

Quality20:
No its not a way to go. Children born in ur home ate urs, nobody can lawfully claim them other than you. Don't embarrass those innocent kids or their mothers

If you read my comment very well, you would have noticed that I mentioned that "Most" (not all) people relocate abroad for economic reasons.

ednut1:
why does Atiku live in Dubai Why did Aisha Buhari relocate to Dubai while still a first lady Is it for economic reasons 🙄

People move abroad mostly for economic reasons. If you are wealthy, why abandon your comfort zone to live abroad?

I don't doubt you. Won't be surprised if he is "rewarded" with a plum political position overseeing youth affairs.

Omihanifa:
Scripted

There is no place like home sometimes rings true.

Probably for security reasons.

Male here.

Theblessed:
Hi my sister Ndipe

I have read your commentary but it does not surprise me on bit.  I brought a 3 year old child with me on my way out of Africa to the West and, into a multi-racial relatioship.  Now, a well developed and beautiful woman in her own right - highly educated with a good job in the City.  At the time of her upbringing, my inlaws were even worse than yours but I stood my grounds for what I believe in.  I ruled the roast in my house and there was nothing my husband could have done to stop me so, he left me with it.  I would not spare the rod and spoil my own child (at the end of the day, whose the looser ) By that I mean, there was discipline in the house and there was some spanking too but I stopped doing so when she was 10 years old.  From my own experience, by the time a child is 10yrs old they had already gone through their formative years, have learnt most things they need to know - most basic behaviours they can muster in preparation for teenage and adulthood.  Any other thing is just an icing on the cake.  How could children learn if not by teaching and how could parents correct errors/mistakes if not by discipline, I wonder?  My daughter turned out well. It still surprises some members of my black community here how I did it - how I managed to raise a child that listens to her parents, never answered back, ran errands, had respect for elders and even called and still does call any black person she considers her seniors (whatever race or tribe) Auntie or Uncle.  Such was her upbringing.  Yes, I was strict with her and that's what made her who she is today.  My inlaws called me all sorts of names - I was even the worst mother that ever existed because I would not bow to their pressures.  Now, that she's turned out well, the tongues that said negative things about me are now congratulating me for a job well done, how fickle people are? Then think of, if it had all gone wrong who would have been blamed? 

You did the right thing in banning the sleep overs as I believe children can learn bad behaviours or even get abused from such interactions.  It is true the sleep over were with their cousins but think of when friends invites them to sleep overs, you are not there and do not know everything about the family? Their beliefs, values and moral stance. There could be child molester/abuser in it you don't even know about and there you are exposing your children to risk in the name of socialising with friends - the world would not forgive you for allowing such interactions.  Mine never left my house to sleep over/out (I never even allowed visiting her cousins without me being their) even for once except when she went on a camp with her Brownies group and also when she left home for University, that was it.  Having said that, I want you to understand that raising Children is not easy, especially here in the West as you can see.
You see, a child that would listen would listen and learn but one that would not listen would not irrespective of how discipline or how you bring them up.  That's why some parents here, have accessed every avenue and concludes that sending their children home until they are due for University education would be better than loosing them to the Social Services system here - To me that, seems too harsh but I don't blame them and also, it depends if one has relatives you can trust to look after them back home e.g your mother/father etc. It's not only black community that is affected - Asians are suffering too. It hasn't been long since a Philipine family with 3 children fell victim of the state's intervention over their 13 year old first daughter who was taken into care beacuse, they were instilling discipline based on their own values and the state did not approve of that style of disciline. Both neighbours (mainly whites)and school reported them to the authorities and that was it. Social services got in and the child was taken into care.

To that I say, keep doing what you're doing (but balance it) because you're doing the right thing. Don't give a care about what the world is saying about you, a confident woman don't give a toss.  It's even good your husband is on your side and it goes to say that the children are in line as a result otherwise, it would have been difficult in your situation with the inlaws and please, do take them home regularly to their root.   Good luck with raising them, you are now alone !

My friend, who is Yoruba, told me that the name Yinka doesnt exist, instead the real name is Yimika.

Yinkusgold:


Yinka has many prefixes such as Ade-yinka , Ola-yinka , Omo-yinka , Owo - yinka , Olu - yinka , Ayo - yinka e.t.c which even makes the name more common and spread , Yinka is a very common and lovely name for both sexes.

People believe that a pregnant woman is at a vulnerable stage in her life, that may explain why they tend to be indoors. I visited a friend years ago and was quite surprised at the non appearance of his wife who was in another part of the house. Infact, I wanted to ask of her since I had never net her (we live in different continents) but declined. Months later, he informed me she had put to bed. It was then I did wonder, if that was the reason why she never showed face when I visited?

Look up the word, Theophany.

Sosongo for the correction.

tomju2:

Ubong in ibibio does not mean honour! It means rulership of God. Or God's rulership. Ubong-abasi is the full name. Enobong- or Eno-abasi means Gift from God of God's gift. Most Ibibio names are attached with the suffix obong or abasi meaning God. Enobong, Enoabasi,Uduakobong Uduakabasi,Imeobong,Imeabasi,Udemeobong, Udemeabasi, Mfonobong,Mfonabasi,Iboro-obong,Iboro-abasi Eno-gift, Uduak-will, Ime-patience,Udeme-share , Mfon-grace,Iboro-answers to prayers. It is generally believed that Children are gifts from God. Hence many families especially in the 60's, 70's and 80's give their kids native names with obong or abasi in tow.

For the ibos, I think Emeka and Ngozi are the two most popular names for the male and female gender. However, Uche might overshadow both names since it is a unisex name. I probably know more people bearing Uche than either Emeka or Ngozi.

Yes, it is a unisex name. Bassey is for males while for females it can also be Bassey or Basseyanwan.

illicit:


Is Bassey a unisex name

Rivers State.

poshestmina:
Boma
Tonye
Priye
Ib (abbreviation for Ibim,Ibiso,Ibimina,Ibifuro etc ) ,there is always one Ib in every family.

Not safe, not hygienic

Abraham was a Jew.

Uyomiya:
Islam is not a religion of peace.

These people are hate filled offsprings of Ishmael and Thier great grandma called haggi.

Haggi was the olosho house help of Abraham a Christian who haggi open leg for

lakeside30:
Four grown up guyz were coping what i am wrtting in an Exam word for words,they cant think,invigilator noticed this and removed me from their midst, one of them begged the invigilator and he tokd me to returned back there,all the 5 of us eventually failed the course, i later went back to resit and i got a B,,some student are dump, even if you are to copy change some words, don't write word for words

Dump

A 7 year old child is too young to be sent on errand unless it is within the neighborhood especially in this era of kidnapping. Wait till they are older. Better safe than sorry.

Whoever came up with this figure of low unemployment in Nigeria is a LIAR!

Better than nothing.

Camara Laye died in 1980.

husbandsnatcha:
during my young age around 1987 I found out great James ngugi of Kenya hated wole Soyinka . I saw him many times with Achehe and Camara laye but Soyinka is an odd man out.... Was it why they hated him ? After 35yrs I am finding this out .

This is how we planned to chase out bad government but yorubas betrayed us with tribalism .
An age long history stated no tribe mingle in war solidarity with them , for fear of betrayal which is wisdom to them from ancestors pass down to children ...so mysterious hmmmmmm

At what point will the problem end, when you give him another out of wedlock child? Make a clean break from him and start life afresh.

Fake story.

Did you get all "A's" in in your WAEC? please stop raining on people's parade. Success is worth celebrating.

Entprys:
1996, during my NYSC in Anambra State(Achina in aguata), then, 'A level' was as common as reciting national pledge.
I remember one Toochi then. . . but let 's forget cos Igbos here will soon start boasting.

But why are we celebrating 9As these days as if it is a big deal while in the past it was nothing ?

Ask him not us.

mamagee3:
Hi all, my male cousin who recently left Nigeria for the UK and then to Canada is always taking pictures of himself around white people and tags himself as a “public figure” on instagram…

Why is he doing this?

US is a leveler.

Yet, he is hailed as a selfless politician who transformed Akwa Ibom for the better. We have now seen his true character.

You are welcome. I first read about it in this novel, The blood of flowers, by Anita Amirrezvani. Most view it as legalized prostitution.

Chironks:


True and thanks for bringing this to light.