₦airaland Forum

Jenifa_:
lol. yup I was looking for criticism actually.

Lol I can't criticize until I really understand it. I agree with you that the wife is usually the one that has to adapt to the husband's culture. But there's an exception when the Nigerian husband married to a foreign lady also lives in his wife's country.

Consequently, the man now has 2 reasons to adapt to his wife's culture:
1. Adapting to his spouse's culture helps the relationship (less important)
2. By adapting to his wife's culture he is also adapting to his new environment (more important)

The foreign wife only has 1 reason to adapt to the Nigerian man's culture and a less important one at that.

That's my own theory for the exception.

I have a feeling we're saying the same thing but I would love to understand your theory better especially the part about matriarchal and patriarchal dominated cultures.

Jenifa_:
true. they are merely adapting to the foreign culture. and even still, not all do. I've seen posts here where foreign wives complain that their nigerian husbands are not romantic enough.

this is where the problem probably lies. To most Nigerians, when a man marries outside of the tribe, it is the wife's duty to assimilate into the husband culture. rather than the husband assimilating into the wife's culture.
but what do you do when you are in a society where your wife's culture is dominant?

that's why I came up with a theory that most intercultural/interracial marriages happen between males of the dominant culture and females of the minority culture. this is considering that both cultures are patriarchal.
within a matriarchial dominant culture, the wife marries someone of a minority culture
within a matriarchical minority culture, the male marries someone in the dominant culture.

the aim of this is for both dominant and minorities to preserve their cultures within the society.

This is a very interesting theory

Another explanation for why Nigerian men are more"romantic" when they're with their non Nigerian wives is that many people try to be culturally sensitive and people try to adapt culturally.
If I'm in a house where I see people feeding each other, I will feed the person next to me. It is also normal that men who marry western wives try to copy western men in typical western relationships.

What's happening is that we are getting to a point where the African woman's notion of romance is from western pop culture.

Ask him and keep your eyes open too, but most importantly guard yourself against paranoia. Paranoia is probably as much of a threat to love as an unfaithful spouse.

The documentary's online already but the volume is really low
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1XnEr1V9gc Part 1 of 5, find the rest for yourself.

maree7:
MR. KENNY G what don't you understand about [size=14pt]LIMIT TO 8 LETTERS[/size] . . . don't let me bounce you from this thread ooo 

@Topic

oainntrcofi  = fornication



UCONRBES

Bouncers

conorteia

It doesn't.

Congratulations brother. May peace, joy and love reign in your family.

FL Gators:
Nah am in school. Was going to travel to Chicago this August tho

I'm in school too and I just can't stand summer class. About 20 more days anyway and I'll have time to play around and rest.

So what are your plans for the summer Morenike? Travelling anywhere?

Spoken to Toyosi in recent times?

LOL. Just a suggestion o. I'm definitely not interested in creating an organization or becoming the president of anything.

I, personally, am not in support of such organizations but I know why and how they may be useful. Something like that can be started on this forum since a few members seem interested in it.

Egbe Omo Yoruba. Warning: Many of them are grown men in the 40s, 50s and there's a fair bit of politicking involved. Maybe someone mentioned this already though.

There's a chapter in every city and sometimes 3 in a city because of politics. http://www.yorubanation.org/Chapters/Miami.htm

I'll answer this question right after you answer "what do men want?"

Game in 1 hour. Starting lineup - GK: Enyeama Def: Odiah, Yobo, Shittu and Taiwo. Midfielders: Kaita, Haruna, Etuhu and Obinna. Attackers: Odemwingie and Yakubu.

Your values are good but a more important value that you should have is not to dictate other people's values. If you want a discussion, you should start by telling your audience why you have chosen to be a virgin. When you're done, you should listen to their own points too with an open mind. The ability to reason, alone and with other human beings, is more important than the ability to restrain sexual urges.

The fact that nobody has presented an alternative doesn't make you right. It probably means everyone has realized that the solution to a problem of this magnitude deserves to be well-thought out and logical.

Secession isn't the only way to avoid a civil war. History has actually shown that a secession is more likely to cause a civil war. If you want to save human lives, separation isn't the way.

Not just men, human beings can be weird, especially in matters relating to the opposite sex. Maybe declaring your feelings for him made him more relaxed and now he's sure he has you in the bag already. Call him before stop asking us.

How do you reconcile love and your separatist views?

Man, don't worry yourself about whether it's a good or bad idea. Just do what you want to do.

how? That people play boardgames is an epitome of Nigeria's problems?

tpia.:
what's the secret to collecting money from guys as is being described here because e be like say my face too hard or something since i never met any naija santa claus like some of my friends did.

Such knowledge could have come in handy and i could have afforded to actually have stew back in the day. Also would have reduced my gari intake.

Maybe I have a hard face too, because nobody dey try scam me. But this thing is serious if veteran like 9ja4eva dey fall for am.

Well, I'd like to know what you think about money, riches and wealth?

And music too, and I love Jesus' teachings more than I love anything, even my life. Now tell me about you.

Yeah, I love music. But I don't know if I love it as much as you do or if we love the same kind of music either.

No, really. This will make me give away too much about myself. Let's talk about football

I like Indian History, there's nothing to elaborate on except you want me to nerd out on you. Apart from tea, what else do you like? I like kids too BTW.

Jesus and his teachings, Indian history, football . . . your turn?

I like spicy food.