"what goes around ,comes around"
well no one can get away with evil, and anyone can fall into temptation . thats why we pray
"Lead us not into temptation , but deliver us from evil, "
even David a man of God fell into sexual sin but he faced the consequences. if you as a woman cheat always remember that "you are the other woman",. People should not dishonor the marriage be. marriage should have meaning. the Bible says
"keep the marriage bed pure". once people get married, singles everywhere must realize that the woman or man is out of bounds. each person is responsible for their actions especially in this day of AIDS and all that stuff .do not risk few minutes of pleasure for a career, family, guilt ,hell fireetc. The Bible says that an adulterer lacks sense . It would destroy his vital organs. proverbs 7. my 2 cents. if a single woman/man contribute to the destruction of other people's marriages , don't be suprised when urs would be destroyed. if a married man treats women as trash don't be suprised if other men treat your sister/daughter as trash.
"what u do today, would come back to u someday, as you lay your bed is how u would sleep on it, search yourself"

it all depends on the individual.But it is not morally good,so why do it?

it is very wrong because it degrades us women. how would u women feel if someone later on was sleeping with ur husband. so my advice is that dont ever do and women who that just remember karma, wat goes around comes around.

NOBODY, HAS A GOOD ENOUGH EXCUSE TO DATE A MAN WHO IS ALREADY TAKEN AND SPOKEN FOR.
i will be honest and share my own experience(please dont judge me,just learn)

PART ONE,

11 years ago,i was single,young,around 18.i met this married multi-millionaire in london.he is ITALIAN, we met at a fund raiser,i was working in the fashion industry then. he liked me straight away, he said i reminded him of kimora lee simmons,(that was his chat up line, or part of it)and even though at first i knew he was married and i shouldnt venture near him, i just thought WHAT THE HELL?as long as im not DIRECTLY hurting his wife.and as long as my intention isnt to UNSEAT her no problem.this guy was the type of guy that if the papers got wind of our affair it would spell DISASTER. so began an out of this world affair.AND NO IT WASNT NECESSARILY THE MONEY, I COME FROM A VERY VERY GOOD HOME, (I GUESS I DIDNT TAKE HEED TO MY PARENTS DISCIPLINE ENOUGH)AT THAT AGE MY DAD BOUGHT ME A FLAT IN A NICE PART OF LONDON I HAD A BRAND NEW BMW, AND A SUFFICIENT ALLOWANCE , BUT WHY I FOLLOWED WITH THIS AFFAIR STILL BEATS ME. anyway, i became his THING ON THE SIDE, (let truth be told, to all the girls out there, as long as you date a married man, YOU ARE HIS THING ON THE SIDE,,AND AS LONG AS HE DOESNT LEAVE HIS WIFE, ITS BECAUSE YOU JUST ARENT GOOD ENOUGH, AND NEVER WILL BE).

we went on ALL the trips together, in a year and a half i had visited over SIXTY COUNTRIES.he TRIPLED MY ALLOWANCE.BOUGHT ME ANOTHER CAR.but slowly and surely, feelings started to creep in, ON HIS PART AT FIRST, HE WAS ALWAYS SAYING, IF I LEAVE MY WIFE WOULD YOU MARRY ME?THEN OTHER TIMES.HE WOULD SAY, I CANT LEAVE MY WIFE BECAUSE IF I DO SHE WOULD RUIN ME.
i started getting caught up and believing IT JUST MIGHT HAPPEN, then i started getting feelings for him, when i saw that he wouldnt leave his wife(HOW STUPID COULD I HAVE BEEN?), THE FIGHTS STARTED, we wouldnt speak for weeks, but some force kept on pulling us back together, AND FOOLISHLY WE THOUGHT IT WAS BECAUSE "WE WERE MEANT TO BE" THATS WHY WE KEPT ON GETTING BACK TOGETHER.

at this stage his wife had gotten wind of US, lets just say he spent ovver £20,000, BUYING the silence of all the major gossip mags in london(it helps also when he comes from one of the top families in italy).

i will continue this in another post.

*

PART TWO,

anyhoo, wifey got wind of our affair, and once she trailed me to my salon here in london, and well she knew her husband bought me my car, because the way she found out was a thank you card i sent to him, that he foolishly took home.and in the card i mentioned the thousand and one ways i would say and show THANK YOU to him.

it didnt help that because i was moving in bigger circles, definitely some things had to be upgraded, i was already using the same salon as his wife, and in all honesty even though my dad might have been loaded,,the allowance i was getting couldnt afford the lifestyle i was living, it was a SICK DECADENT lifestyle,
everyone was asking questions, i was still doing the same job, so HOW WAS I BUYING £3000 POUND BAGS?ETC, but i just said i got a raise at work and was also freelancing around europe(it added up cus i was travelling a lot with my lover)

one day his wife who apparently knew what i looked like, bumped into me at the salon, DISASTER, can you all believe i had the car her husband bought in the carpark, and she did what EVERY HURT wife would do, she smashed the car in every WAY POSSIBLE, and I in all my GLORIOUS FOOLISHNESS DID WHAT EVERY SWOLLEN HEADED MISTRESS WOULD DO, i CAUSED A SCENE, I WALKED UP TO HER AND I SAID TO HER IN ITALIAN."YOUR HUSBAND BOUGHT IT BITCH, AND HE SURE AS HELL WOULD BUY ANOTHER ONE."

of course the foolish man sided with me, he stirred shit, telling his wife she should have BEHAVED HERSELF LIKE THE RESPECATBLE MARRIED WOMAN SHE IS.

she moved out of their house two days later,

at that point i thought, YES, my opportunity, shebi if the madam isnt there i can move in rightNA LIE,

the guy apparently was telling me that we should see HOW THINGS GO AND SLOW THINGS DOWN, etc, ALL THE WHILE, flying to roma at the drop of a dime to try and work things out with his wife,

when i saw things werent heading anywhere, i mean i sat down and realised,
1)AFTER ALMOST TWO YEARS I WAS STILL ROTATING ON THE SAME SPOT WITH NO VISIBLE SIGNS OF PROGRESSION
2)I ONLY SAW HIM WHEN IT SUITED HIS SCHEDULE
3)WHEN I COMPLAINED HE BOUGHT ME MORE STUFF OR MORE MONEY
4)ALL THE DEPRAVED THINGS HE COULDNT TRY WITH HIS WIFE HE SUGGESTED TO ME,THREESOMES,SWINGERS,ETC
5)AND I WILL ALWAYS BE LESS THAN A WIFE,EVEN THOUGH I WAS A LITTLE BIT MORE THAN A GIRLFRIEND, BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY WHO IS A MISTRESS?
SHE IS JUST A SILLY WOMAN WHO GRATIFIES A MARRIED MANS SELFISH NEEDS IN EXCHANGE FOR WHATEVER HE CAN PROOVIDE HER, SHOW ME A MISTRESS WHO DOESNT GAIN MATERIAL THINGS AND I WILL SHOW YOU THE FACE OF A BLOODY LIAR,

PART THREE IN THE NEXT POST,

AS I WAS SAYING, at this stage it finally dawned on me that this guy was just not meant to be(YES FINALLY MY EYES OPENED CLEARLY), AND PLEASE THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS I DIDNT KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING, I KNEW AND I BLINDLY FOLLOWED IT AND ENJOYED IT, BUT LISTEN TO ME PEOPLE IT CAUGHT UP WITH ME IN A BIG BIG WAY,

PART 3

well, i went to him, AND I SAID, LOOK I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE ETC, he cried,begged,etc, AND I TOOK HIM BACK, BUT THIS TIME IT LASTED 5 DAYS, the fifth day afterwards, I GOT THE WORST INSULT, 2 DAYS BEFORE,I QUIT MY JOB(cus id gotten too big for my boots), and i thought well since i might be a little madam soon, i dont need to work?abi?the guy begged me now??it was ALL FILM TRICK,
so i told my lover, i quit my job, HE LOOKED AT ME LIKE, (A VERY BLANK WHAT THE F$*K DID YOU DO THAT FOR?), AND I SAID, WELL SINCE WE'LL BE LIVING TOGETHER SOON, I DONT NEED TO WORK, YOUR WIFE NEVER WORKED, SO WHY SHOULD I??

HE LOOKED AT ME AND SAID,
"DONT YOU EVER,EVER COMPARE YOURSELF TO MY WIFE.EVER, YOU ARE TWO DIFFERENT ENDS OF THE POLE, YOU MIGHT BE CLASSY ETC, BUT NO WAY WOULD MY WIFE BE SINGLE AND DATE A MARRIED MAN, EVERYTHING IN MATERIAL TERMS MY WIFE HAS SHE DESERVED BECAUSE SHE HAS STUK BY ME THROUGH IT ALL, " HE DIDNT STOP THERE, HE WENT FURTHER, "AND I HAVE BEEN THINKING, THIS CANT WORK, SO I WILL PAY YOU OFF BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY YOU ARE ALL ABOUT THE MONEY ,SO YOU CAN HAVE A CHEQUE OR CASH OF (A VERY LARGE SUM) AND PLEASE WALK OUT OF MY LIFE, I HAVE A MARRIAGE TO WORK ON"

YES PEOPLE, MY OWN ILLEGAL PARTNER OF ALMOST TWO YEARS, OFFERED TO PAY ME, LIKE THE CHEAP TART I HAD MADE MYSELF TO BE,

i almost died, i didnt know wether to cry of a broken heart(i mean it was all wrong wasnt it?and there was no love, or was there??)or to cry because i felt insulted, (but didnt i put myself in that position??,

anyway, TAIL BETWEEN LEGS, I WALKED OFF WITH THE TINIEST BIT OF DIGNITY LEFT IN ME, (I HAVE A BIG MOUTH AND CAN INSULT ANYTHING THAT CROSSES ME, BUT THAT DAY I GOT A REALITY CHECK)

it was then i felt just a bit of what he might have felt all the while he rejected her for me,


but my problems hadnt started,

PART FOUR,

news from the grapevine was that his wife was divorcing him etc, and she did divorce him, i guess it doesnt help that some silly teenager tries to steal your childhood sweetheart, (they had been together since there teens)and she just couldnt comprehend how he could go that far with me,

well, i guess my karma was kinda waiting for me, about 6 months later, i had gotten over it, and just moved on.
during the fashion week in italy, i met this totally gorgeous italian guy called massimo,

massimo and i started dating, and well he told me about his family, etc, about his SISTER WHO WAS IN THERAPY ETC who shared the same LAST name with my ex lover, but i didnt add two and two together, i mean WHAT WERE THE ODDS RIGHT??IT WASNT UNTIL HE SAID something about a divorce that she was going thru that alarm bells RANG RRRAANNG IN MY HEAD,

I PRODDED FURTHER and thats when i realised that MASSIMO AND MY EX LOVER WERE IN LAWS.MASSIMOS SISTER IS THE EX WIFE WHO LEFT HER MARRIAGE BECAUSE OF THE AFFAIR I HAD WITH HER HUSBAND,

lets just say by the time he told me everything it was like listening to someone giving you a bad commentary about your life, he was INSULTING THE OTHER WOMAN, BUT HE DIDNT KNOW I WAS THE ONE, AND HE SAID SOMETHING THAT STUCK IN MY MIND, HE SAID"HOW CAN SHE FIND LOVE TO STAY WHEN SHE DESTROYED SOMETHING SO GOOD?"

I COULDNT TELL HIM, I ALWAYS AVOIDED MEETING THE SISTER(AND BESIDES SHE WAS IN THERAPY MOST TIMES)

I KEPT OFF TELLING HIM/CONFESSING, at this stage we were SOOOO IN LOVE, BUT I HAD THAT AT THE BACK OF MY MIND, AND I HAD CRAPLOADS OF GUILTY CONSCIENCE, his sisters health worried him, and he didnt know he was SLEEPING WITH AND LOVING THE ENEMY,

WELL I FELL PREGNANT SHORTLY AFTER, HE WAS OVERJOYED, THEN WE STARTED TALKING MARRIAGE, because i knew what i had done, i was at a crossroad, BECAUSE INEVITABLY, THE ISSUE OF MEET THE WHOLE FAMILY HAD ARISEN(INCLUDING HIS SISTER), SO I COULDNT ESCAPE IT, I SUGGESTED A SHOTGUN WEDDING,,,YOU KNOW TAKE OFF TO AN ISLAND AND JUST GET MARRIED, SO THAT BY THE TIME WE GET BACK, NO ONE WOULD COME BETWEEN US,

BUT CONSCIENCE IS SUCH A STRONG THING(THATS IF ONE POSSESES IT)
SO ONE DAY, I WAS TWO MONTHS PREGNANT, AFTER GOING THROUGH SOME WEDDING PLANS, I TOLD HIM THAT WE NEED TO TALK,

FINAL PART TO BE CONTINUED,

*

FINAL PART,

well, i sat as FAAAR AWAY FROM HIM AS POSSIBLE, and then i CONFESSED, at first he thought i was playing a cruel joke on him, he even went as far as asking if i was suffering from some sort of PRE-WEDDING PERSONALITY DISORDER,

when he saw that i wasnt joking, he literally CRUMBLED BEFORE ME, then came the SHOUTING,TEARS ETC, i couldnt face it, cus he had NEVER RAISED HIS VOICE AT ME, i walked out, and booked the next flight to greece(i just wanted to get away from it all), THAT WAS THE LAST TIME I SAW HIM ALIVE,

HE WAS INTO SKIING BIG TIME, HE TOOK OFF TO SWITZERLAND TO COOL OFF, HAD A HORRIBLE SKIING ACCIDENT, I GOT A PHONECALL, I RUSHED DOWN ON THE NEXT FLIGHT, ALL I SAW WAS TUBES,AND MORE NEEDLES STICKING IN AND OUT OF HIM,

I WAS 2 MONTHS PREGNANT, AND THAT SECOND I CURSED THE DAY I MET MY LOVER,

THREE HOURS AFTER I GOT TO THE HOSPITAL, HE DIED, HE WASNT CONSCIOUS,,BUT STRANGELY HE MOVED HIS HAND WHEN I PUT IT TO MY BELLY, I JUST WANTED HIM TO SAY BYE TO THE BABY,

BEFORE HE WENT SKIING HE HAD TOLD HIS SISTER THAT I WAS THE GIRL HE WAS ALWAYS WAXING LYRICAL ABOUT ETC, SO HIS FAMILY KNEW I WAS THE SHE DEVIL, NOW I WAS CARRYING THE BABY OF THEIR SON,

THEY BLAMED ME FOR EVERYTHING THAT WENT WRONG,

THEY SAID FATE HAD THE GUN AND I PULLED THE TRIGGER AND SET EVERYTHING IN MOTION,

OH WELL, A SUICIDE ATTEMPT LATER, AND 7 MONTHS AFTER,
I GAVE BIRTH TO TWINS, BALTHAZAR AND JARED,

AND WEIRDLY, THEY ARE NEPHEWS TO THE WOMAN WHOSE HOME I BROKE UP, MEANING COUSINS TO MY EX LOVERS KIDS,

MASSIMOS PEOPLE DONT EVEN WANNA KNOW ME, AND ITS BEEN ALMOST 9 YEARS, MY KIDS GO TO ITALY ONCE EVERY YEAR BECAUSE THEY ACCEPT THEM AND LOVE THEM,

I HEARD HIS MUM STILL CALLS ME TRANSLATED FROM ITALIAN "THAT SLIT EYED JEZEBEL",

DO I BLAME HER?
IN SOME TWISTED WORK OF FATE, I DATED HER EX-SON IN LOVER,WHICH MADE HER DAUGHTER PACK UP HER MARRIAGE HAVE A BREAKDOWN,THEN I FELL IN LIVE WITH HER SON,WHO WENT OFF SKIING TO COOL HIS NERVES WHEN HE FOUND OUT WHO I WAS, AND HE HAD AN ACCIDENT AND DIED,

ONE DAY I WILL TELL MY TWINS WHAT HAPPENED, BECAUSE THEY ALWAYS ASK, "MUMMY WHAT HAPPENED TO DADDY" ETC,

AND THERE WILL COME A TIME WHEN TELLING THEM DADDY HAS GONE TO BE AN ANGEL WONT WORK ANYMORE.BECAUSE I KNOW IF I DONT TELL THEM, THERE LOUD MOUTH GRANNY WOULD.

I HOPE SOMEONE LEARNS FROM THIS, AFFAIRS MIGHT LOOK ALL OKAY AND, "AS LONG A SNOBODY WILL GET HURT",

BELIEVE ME PEOPLE, KARMA WILL COME BACK AT SOME POINT AND BITE YOU IN THE ARSE, A 100 TIMES WORSE,
IF NOT NOW AT SOME POINT,
I GOT MY KARMA REAL FAST,
NOW WHEN I SEE MARRIED MEN, I DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT,

IVE PAID ENOUGH FOR MY ACTIONS, AND FUNNY ENUFF I WONDER WAS MASSIMO RIGHT?
HOW COULD I EXPECT TO HAVE LOVE WHEN I DESTROYED KNOWINGLY SOMETHING SO BEAUTIFUL, ?

TOO BAD HE HAD TO GO FOR THOSE WORDS TO REALLY HIT HOME,

I DONT WALLOW IN SELF PITY, BUT IT HARD TO DEAL WITH ATIMES, BECAUSE I HAVE TO LIVE WITH MY TWINS EVERYDAY, AND I KNOW ATIMES WAT THAT FEELS LIKE,

SO ANYONE THINKING OF IT, MAN, WOMAN, ITS NOT WORTH IT, IT JUST AINT,
I HOPE SOMEONE LEARNS, FROM THIS,

*

@VIROZURU, yeah, story of my life

wow what goes arround comes arround @papermoon i say if u where not a nairaland member and therefore a friend i would have said something else but on the other hand really brave of you sharing that and whoever posted this topic should have the answere by now i really feel for u ooooooo take heart and well life is full of lessons maybe you should right a book your story will be a very good novel

marriage wrecker

*

excuse me?
when i said ''marriage wrecker'' i wasnt referring 2 what papermoon said aba herself i hadnt even seen her post i was replying 2 da topic da was posted in general !!!!!!!!!
my name is Rhodalyn

*

come on gal, whatz nairaland all about?

@VIROZURU, WOW, GIRL.I JUST SAW THE REPLY YOU POSTED, THANKS ON MY BEHALF, ,
@RHODALYN READING YOUR POST AT FIRST I THOUGHT YOU WERE REFERRING TO ME AS A HOME WRECKER?, AND I WAS ACTUALLY ITCHING TO GIVE YOU A WELL DESERVED REPLY, BUT READING FURTHER I NOTICED IT WAS JUST A GENERAL OPINION,
@LURIDGUY, AND IF I WAS A FRIEND AND NOT A NAIRALANDER WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE TO SAY?I AM OPEN TO ALL FORMS OF OPINION ALTHOUGH WHATS DONE IS DONE.SO IF YOU WOULD OBLIGE SENDING A MESSAGE TO MY PM, AND YEAH THE IDEA OF A BOOK HAS CROSSED MY MIND,

AND YEAH, I OPENLY AND BRAVELY POSTED MY EXPERIENCE BECAUSE I BELIEVE SOME GIRL OR GUY OUT THERE WOULD LEARN.AND NOT FOR ANYONE TO JUDGE AT THE DROP OF A DIME.
SOMEONE ELSES EXPERIENCE MIGHT BE DRUGS OR PROSTITUTION OR THEFT, THATS WHY I LOVE NAIRALAND, I LEARN EVERYDAY,AND DRAW FROM OTHER PEOPLES EXPERIENCES IN LIFE,BE IT HOW TO BRING UP MY KIDS,OR JUST LEARNING A WHOLE NEW WORLD OF THINGS.IRRESPECTIVE OF MY EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND, SOME THINGS I HAVE LEARNT ON HERE ARE PRICELESS.

SO ANYBODY ELSE READING MY LIFE STORY, DO SO WITH AN OPEN MIND AND NOT WITH THE WILLINGNESS TO BE THE JUDGE AND JURY,
THAT ASIDE, HOW WAS YOUR DAY PEOPLE

i wldnt have said dat about u gal

@rhodalyn, its all one love girl,

yeh 1 luv

its all wrong/ as ye sow so shall ye reap.

@ papermoon

thanks for posting your story. and YES, you should get on a book (then a film) idea. and fast. what i loved about your story, was the HUMANITY of it all. that's what i hate about affairs/adultery and other rubbish ----> it robs or ignores the humanity of a person (whether wife or mistress)

i have a story of my own --- it's not what you think. but i guess i'll leave that for another day.

i do have some questions:

are a native NAIJA? (i dont want to make assumptions just bc you're on this forum.) and, yes, though it shouldnt matter, i think knowing would color the story ----> there are so many elements in there already: age, history, status, time, economics, love, we cant ignore race or racial differences.

but i think that just goes back to me wanting to read it as a story/memoir(?). i'm an aspiring writer so i'm sincere in my encouragement!

@chinani,
thanks girl, yes i am nigerian(father),with a lot of mixed race going on(mum is a mix of everything you can think of, lol).but its all good cus i still represent for naija anytime.
and YES.i am getting on a book, will let you know how that goes, and you are an aspiring writer??, good on you girl, i love writing too, we could swap ideas and read one anothers material.i love reading stuff thats genuinely written by someone who has their heart in it.
thanks for the mail, now im even more determined to get on things and make the memoirs happen, and you just gave me an idea, a memoir would be spot on.
thanks

i don't know what to say, This is just above me, I must revenge on the girl.

why did you have to revenging on the girl. is she because she have talk true about her relayschinshirp with a married men?

if i put myself in similar situation, no way

thanks girl

ur story will help many people when making desicions

Hi papermoon

Thanks for story i think many girls and guys will learn a lesson from your story

I had alot of interest in your story I defenitely thing it will help me. I only wish when it helps my brain it could help my heart too. Tahnk you for sharing such a personal subject.

@papermoon:

I admire your honesty, regardless of the risks. That was a very bold and personal confession, one which I am sure will cause many here in NL to think twice. Your ability to "tell it like it is" was very refreshing, and brutally honest.