₦airaland Forum

jennykadry: Late marriage? What age range are we talking about here?

Late marriage is relative. It is not completely about a particular age range. Someone whose elder sisters all got married before clocking 20 will feel she's late in getting married if she's single at 22 while another person that has sisters aged 30 and above and are yet to get married will think that she is too young for marriage at 25.

jennykadry: No, you started this thread and you also said you are willing to cope with any questions thrown at you.

I am simply asking...what age range were you talking about when you mentioned late marriage? what YOU consider late might be the starting point for ANOTHER.

Noted. I still think you don't belong there. You can prove me wrong by sharing your experience that is what this thread is for.

BananaBender: This killed me!

By that I meant: they are people of like mind and birds of the same feather .......

jennykadry: Late marriage? What age range are we talking about here?

If you belong there (late marriage) you will just know without any interpretation.

[quote author=SPEEDEPITOME]Higher class? On the contrary, i have a lot to learn from you. Why i talked about levels was because i'm single-not married and not dating but i'm not in the about-to-marry class.[/quote Ok. You can contribute too. We are all here to learn.

jennykadry: Get the married and let us hear word. Ogi ni?

I'm sorry if you are in anyway getting me wrong. I'm only implying dt it might be part of d reasons why pple are not sharing their experiences. By the way the thread is for single ladies and married people who had walked this path (late marriage). He that wears the shoe knows where it is pinching. Thank you.

jennykadry: What is with you and this serious complex issues.

Shebi you are engaged? marry na. Who hold you?

Na fight?

Chomzy19: Babe na wa ooo! All these stories only u! Na u b d only single wey waka come? Hian! 'coping with', 'managing' being single na affliction?

You won't understand!

@ rofemiguwa thank you. I thought I was alone in all these. Imagine your cousins that used to greet you and call you aunty get married and the table turns. They see you and pass leaving you to wonder if it's now your own turn to greet them and call them madam. Any way I think it's easier to talk about it when you are on your way out of spinsterhood than when you are still in the middle of it. It is well.

coogar: it's a good thing in nigeria so i am surprised it's taken her this long to get hitched. women like her are hotcakes to naija men. so where did the delay come from?

Sometimes it is not ordinary. So as we are addressing the physical reasons for being single let's not forget to handle it spiritually too with prayers.

coogar: nah!
i don't like church girls.

That is one of the reasons why some people like me are still single but its okay I don't think we care.

Chomzy19: I think so too, she's reading meaning into things that ordinarily mean nuffin. E.g. D crying kids, any mother wld naturally take her child from u once d kid begins to cry so as to hush the child bt d op thinks its because she is single.
@op I think u hv to work on ur issues so u dont hv to 'cope' with married life cos dts when d real wa begins.

Guess I started off on the negatives (cos I wanted others to share) may be I should let you in on the positive sides too. Those things happen when you are new in a place, if you know what you doing with time people will give you the respect you deserve. As for the children thing one woman once came to ask me how I manage to handle that number of children so calmly every Sunday when the one child she has at home is giving her double wahala. I've headed children Dept in so many churches (work n studies make me relocate often), in some places mothers come to leave their children with me in my own church while they themselves attend another church (guess the other children must have have been talking good about me at home and in the neighborhood). I love children and they always love me too anywhere I go. Most times when I look at them I wish my own child/children were part of them too.

Ishilove: Personally I feel it is how you present yourself before the world that will determine how you're treated. I might be wrong but I feel the op has complex issues. Apologies to the op but that's vibes I'm getting from her post.

On the contrary, I have married men and women working under me at my place of work at the moment and they give me the respect I deserve because they've seen that I have what it takes to head them at that level. Some even use the word 'Mrs' when addressing me (which I correct immediately). But then if you are single, you are single your status in the society notwithstanding. So sometimes when you retire (from your busy lifestyle) you feel it as in sometimes you feel lonely even in the midst of friends. However single get level shaa as someone pointed out earlier, that is why in church I prefer singles fellowship to youth fellowship. 'Cos in youth fellowship you'll find girls' in SS 1 but when it's called singles fellowship that's a higher level and I fit in there more. Sorry I talk about church a lot I'm sure my username explains it small.

Why is it that when a man likes/loves a woman/lady he often finds a way of communicating it but when he falls out of love he tends to just walk away without any explanation leaving the lady to keep wondering what went wrong? Sometimes the next thing the lady will hear is that he is getting married to someone else leaving the lady speechless (to say the least).

Lizabeth: Bros i am not assuming. I have tried it

I helped him built his CV and sent to different organisations but he thought I because I was earning more and more comfortasble , he wouldnt be able to handle me and left after he got a jb

He didn't even tell me he was attending interviews. When he knew a particular job would click was when he left. He called me later to thank me

Some of them have complex issue.

Imagine that. Don't mind them jare the day it will happen you'll be so surprised 'cos it might not be by any efforts of yours. I've been in relationships where I did almost everything within my means to make them work yet they didn't. But here I am, not really doing any thing special yet it is working.

coogar: he just came from nowhere, proposed & you accepted just like that? i hope you have not dropped your panties for him. this could be a hoax to get to your promised land.

you better be careful......naija [b]boys [/b]are desperate like that for sex.

It might interest you to know that I've not dropped my panties for any man and by God's grace I have no plan of doing that till I say I do. I'm not desperate to get married even if he leaves (God forbid) no problem I'll continue living my life and serving my God till it pleases him to settle me maritally.

As for 'boys' I've passed that level. I move with 'men'.

charles316: I hope it is not what i m thinking. Naija boys are too sharp for u girls

What exactly are you thinking? I need to know.

SPEEDEPITOME: *checks thread again* I wanted to sign in here but with the comments,i'm not sure i fit in. I think single has levels sha.

I understand you perfectly. I know you belong to a higher class/level but you are also welcome. Just let us into your world and that might trigger further comments from people of your type. We want to learn from you too. Welcome on board in advance.

One thing that surprised me about how I got engaged is that I had always thought that one must change somethings about oneself to be able to attract a spouse (which might still be true), but I didn't change a thing he just came and proposed and I was so surprised and taken aback. That is not to say that we should not upgrade our character, dressing, career e.t.c if need be but sometimes in the bit to upgrade we change so much that he might not recognize us when he meets us. So my friends sometimes it's better to just be yourself 'cos one man's poison is another man's meat. Did I mention that some people heard about the engagement and went to meet him giving him reasons why he should call it off but he told them that he has made his choice and I know that the God that started it will bring it to pass.

charles316: Most people have got no pity for single naija ladies cos most of them spent their prime chasing shadows... Shawarma, Brazilian hair, bold 5. The focused one always get married. If u cant get one man (there are over 3billion men ) to marry u then u ve got a problem.

Thank you. Then I guess by what you said we all have got the problem 'cos at one time or the other we were all single.

@ Shizzlestar you are completely right It's all about perspective. What I said was as seen from a single lady's perspective.


@ moca I like your spirit jare. It's not all about the negatives. A girl friend of mine once asked me what it feels like being engaged and what came to my mind was the word 'freedom' 'cos it was like I lost that. There are so many things singles enjoy which we do take for granted. So lets enjoy them while they last.

As for the parry it is on already welcome on board.

aisha2: Having been a long term single lady myself lol, my advice to anyone would be;
1 life is not a 100 meters dash but a marathon sometimes you ate ahead and sometimes you are behind as my friend would say run tour own race, if you are running your race and looking at how far others are running theirs you will loose track.

2. Being single is not a crime, an epidemic or a state of patheticness. It is a time to find yourself, know yourself and focus on you. When you are married except you get. An understanding husband who helps out you will hardly have time to do things for yourself. With work, kids and career. You may find yourself being everyone elses cheerleader but you.

3. Don't be desperate
Desperation reduces your self esteem be confident in yourself and never be pressured to settle to escape the " singleton " disease as some have turned it into

I love kids so I spent a lot of time around them, they have this raw undiluted energy, I also loved visiting and spending time with sick kids in the hospital a teddy bear a doll or a toy car can give the biggest smile ever, for a moment their own pain is forgotten and they are happy with their toys some joys money can't buy

I love kids too but that one is a story of it's own. I'm in the children church but some people said that I'm not qualified because I don't have children and so can not handle them. Some mothers come around when their child cries and just take the child away as if you are the cause of the child's cry.
What of the "greeting wahala" sometimes in the company of married friends and family people come in and greet them (even the ones much younger than you) and just pass you as if you are not there.
What of working in a place where you are the only 'miss' and you see others getting more preferential treatment and respect just because of the 'M' word (married/mother).
Most of the time people relate to you based on your marital status than your age. Once you are not married automatically you must be younger than the married ones so people treat you in like manner. If you have a younger one that is married he/she is referred to as your elder one. So many things, it's easier for me to talk about them now because I've managed to cross over a little. I'll still tell the story of how that one happened.
Stay tuned

coogar: a picture says a thousand words. i have about 50 bachelor friends waiting to get hitched too. if you upload your pics here, you never know - your prayers might be answered right this moment.

i hope you are not a witch though.

For some of us, it's not that we are not getting proposals but it's just that they are not coming from the right guys (as per our standard). As for me I'm engaged to be married but I really stayed long on the other side and know how it feels. At a time I closed my face book account 'cos it seemed all I see there are friends and family uploading photos of themselves with their spouses and children. Believe me I may be happy for them but it leaves me depressed. More to come.

squaddy: You just shot yourself in the leg

Nairalanders are very brutal.

Brace yourself.

No problem. We are equal to the task.

Some of us are really single (as in nobody), some are waiting (as in engaged to be married or always about to wed), some have a lot of friends but no marriage proposal while some are confused on which of the numerous proposals to accept. It's not a crime to be single. I only wanted us to offload n share experiences.

It is not easy being single when most of our mates are already PTA members in primary and secondary schools. The society too do not help matters they always think it is our fault. My question is: how do you handle this single hood and the challenges that come with it? Perhaps you have been here but you are now married, how did you handle it then and what did you do differently that led to your meeting your spouse? Please share and encourage a sister. Maybe you feel like talking to someone but there seems to be no one to talk to, can we meet here and offload? We might really be of help to one another. I'll share my own story too but the floor is open anybody can start. I'm eagerly waiting to hear from you my friend and sister-to-be. Please no insults.

I like this

Hi everyone this is the first time I'm commenting on this thread I only read. Hope to tell my story/testimony here soon. I'm really missing everyone hope to hear from you people soon especially @Alwaystrue how's everything Dear? I noticed you from 'the word for today' thread when I saw you on the ttc thread I was touched, you are in my prayers and I know that God has answered. Please how are you doing? Congratulations to all the mamas in the house.

Farewell Prof my Dora

Good to hear KUDOS

RIP My Dora Akunyili. Hope to walk in your exemplary steps. ADIEU

Space booked.





Will add my own story one day by God's grace. Till then happy married life to all.