₦airaland Forum

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh - Genesis 2:50


This is the biblical basis of marriage. A man shall leave his father and his mother to become joined with his wife in marriage and so does the woman. But are they supposed to 'leave' their fathers and mothers completely? That brings us to the main discourse of this article.

Marriage is a very tricky situation especially in Nigeria with its diverse in-law relationships. Let's start with at the relationship stage when the whole relationship thingy is all fun and rosy. Then comes the proposal and the 'meeting the family' informally that precede it. This meeting the family can either make and mar the proposed marriage as the lady and guy must get some reasonable level of acceptance from the guy's family and the lady's family respectively.

Getting this acceptance might become difficult as the family tends to judge you with their own criteria. usually in line with their way of living which might be quite different from yours. Maybe You are coming from a home have where the siblings are very mouthy and playful and your spouse is from the house where everybody is “Brother”/”Sister”. Exhibiting the playful and mouthy attitude which is completely normal in your house might be seen as "rudeness".

Let's assume we get past this introduction stage and you are finally married to this guy/lady, What happens to her family? i've heard people say things like “My husband and I have agreed that we don’t want family members living in our house, because they’re trouble makers.” Can this really work in the Nigerian Society? like in Igboland where i am from where every member of the immediate and extended family regards a woman married to any member of the family as a wife. And disrespecting them can constitute a serious offence.

Disrespect them? Maybe you will never do that intentionally but it is bound to happen. Let's assume your mother in-law visits. And she attends one of these churches with some kind of fetish and weird practices like water sprinkled at table, burning one candle before you go to bed and stuffs like that. Maybe you were not so pleased but there is nothing you could do about it as you are really trying to get along and not cause any problem. But then, you refused to eat on the same table with her as you know she will sprinkle her water and that might be against your own beliefs. She might interpret that as disrespect.

The list goes on and on. Or maybe when the lady's mum comes for the traditional "omugwuo" after the birth of a child. And starts complaining how your husband isn't finishing his food or how he comes back late from work. Things that were not strange to you. Isn’t that a trouble maker?

Given, we can never "leave" or fathers and mothers completely as stated in the bible but then, a level of tolerance is need ed in our dealings with them.

so what are your in-laws tolerance level?

http://www.inspirenaija.com/2013/12/Nigerian-in-law-relationships-and-How-it-affects-Marriage.html

GentleMimi: Akwa ibom adi oke....Uyo ayaya...Eket ifonno

Abadie?

na only that one i still remember o

obayaya: when arsenal scores, you'll tear that undershirt Too

tear that undershirt now!!!! guidetti

Guidette: Lol, I am an Arsenal fan 11 years and counting. Dude.... I am wearing undershirt o. Dont try me today.

when arsenal scores, you'll tear that undershirt Too

GentleMimi: Nope,served there.

ok.. spent 7 months in eket In 2011

Guidette: UUPPPPP AAARRRRSSSSSEEEEENNNNNNAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!!!!!!! WWWWWWOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! *tears shirt*

see this one o... are you a fellow arsenal fan?

abi you just wanna tear that shirt to tempt niggas them?

Dahomey Amazon: Anambra the light of biafra. Empty roads without markings, Is everyone always on holiday or they moved to more habitable regions

today's Sunday bro.. roads are usually scanty on Sunday mornings and picks up around 2pm but can never get to weekdays' level

GentleMimi: Loooooooooooooool! And u dare to call me cray? Guy u crazeeee! Hahaha! Na guys dey use their hand threaten their manhood oooo! Iyanmi!

the remote source of the threat are babes like you.. with their plenty enticement and subsequent hoarding of the P..

this one you keep shouting iyanmi, are you from aks?

3 points today and we have a cool 7 points cushion for the hectic December fixtures...

COYG

kingoflag: Why do you keep writing this rubbish?

When you say "won" or "lost" what do you mean? Let me break it down for you: theres a big difference between a Lion Heart and a Coward and thats what defines men when battles, war and causes are involved. If Mandela had led his people into battle and fled to Nigeria (which he couldve easily done) what do you think the whole world would think of him today?

did you know Mandela ran from South Africa to Nigeria in 1965 or so.. he spent 6-7 months here hiding from the South Africa government.. he stayed with mbazulike when he was in Nigeria

GentleMimi: Then close ya eyes,lazy lazy!

close my eyes when you're threatening the usefulness of my manhood

that essay is damn Too long with bad paragraphing.. difficult to read

Imanuelle: She wants God fearing and not the Lucifer

BTW I'm in the supposedly cursed land

Should leave tomorrow but if you'll buy me chips I may reconsider

Haba, I be God fearing na.. abi you don forget say I go seminary school.. + I be mass server?

you can count on the chips bro.. the jungle is always more fun when there are more than 2 lions..

Imanuelle: Oya halele dey go church

Ashawo

my main man.. ashawo is in the past now.. I wanna turn a new leaf with this beautiful Op

Ode.. where you dey jare? I dey enter the jungle tomorrow

Guidette: I didnt even get that part of your post.Appreciable intelligence Dude... I am fckn smart. For a woman who is going through 5 yrs of medical training at the age of 21, I am more than a catch. And I see that. Is it so wrong to be looking out for my mental, physical and spiritual health by looking for a man that doesnt sleep around?

your head is so up your as.s.. you need to take a deep breath

GentleMimi:
nothing that will make me...



















Go and die.

lmao.. you cray.. aswear

Guidette: What does that mean

keep trying

Guidette: Haha! Its way past that. Even if I look like a whore_ and attract whores_, that doesnt mean I would date one. NEVER! I will soon find someone even if he is oyinbo. I dont care!!!!!!

lmao!!! jisie ike

Guidette: Yeah thats how I feel too. I am not perfect and I do not expect the man I get with to be perfect either. But I think what I am asking for is not too much. I just feel like all the men on this thread are overreacting over nothing.
If a guy sleeps around, they can carry on doing what they are doing. I am sure there will be a woman out there that will take them as they are. But certainly not me!

well.. you aren't asking for too much.. but all I care say is Goodluck..

Guidette: Dude... relax! Its just a picture. I attract who I attract but I think it is all up to me to weed out the bad eggs from the good ones. I just voiced my opinions on guys sleeping around and I have gotten personal attacks. Haba! Is it a crime to want a good guy?

the guy has a valid point.. maybe your looks aren't so God fearing.

Maybe the guys are judging the book by the cover..

Guidette: LMAO! See answer. Anyway kudos to you for doubling down and not being a hypocrite. But deep down you know that type of ish wont go down well with you. If you want to be a hero, go ahead. Me...... nahh!!!

well maybe you are right.. real life is a lot more different.. maybe I'd freak out...

but the truth remains that nobody is perfect... and a lil compromise won't be so bad

GentleMimi: Eeeerrrrrm sweerie,trust me,the answer from most guys will be yes oooo.They no send on this matter,so far sey the babe show green light and she ''set'' wella.

lmao.. you have one warped belief about guys.. wetin they do you?

GentleMimi: I believe some are capable of being faithful....but they are sooooo rare! Its like,if a guy is a player,he gets more respect and recognition from his friends.But a gentle and faithful guy is often made mockery of by his friends...na those ones them dey call ''mugu''...abi na lie? I have seen it happen!

lol.. that's the erroneous assumption.. the pessimism


all guys are capable of being faithful.. I repeat all guys.. and women hold the key