₦airaland Forum

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I FORMED THIS DOCUMENTARY if u wan hate go lick GOAT NYANSH.

she go suck my diick

me too

Am i dat popular?

am i not funny??

If animals had Facebook account,
these are most likely their status:
BULLDOG: Waiting for my owner
to pick me up. Time for saloon
Cockroach: managed to skip from
some one’s foot step.
,
Cow: Huh! Again they are
touching my breast, what do they
think I am? B**ch?
Cat: my 7th child is asking who is
her dad, what shall I tell her??, I
don’t even remember. And should
I tell her I'm going to eat her?
Mosquito: I am HIV positive this all
due wrong sucking !!!
Chicken: If tomorrow I am not
updating my status, means I am
being served at KFC. Love you all
Octopus: I have just refilled my
ink, hurray!!
Pig: oh gosh they throw the
gossips that I am spreading flu…
WTF!!
Lice: oh shit!! I entered wrong
hair, smells like urinal bowls!
Goat : Friends, don’t go out, Eid
holiday is coming
Pig writes a comment on Goat’s
status: “ luckily I am haram”
Goat replies: “ don’t you
remember that after Eid its
Christmas then New year, ?

A doctor told a guy that
mast*rb*ting before sx would
help him last longer in the
game.He said
"What tha hell i'll try it out before i
reach home."
,
The next day when he was about
to leave the office he thought of
the safe place to do it but couldn't
find it.So on his way home he
pulled over his truck and entered
down the car.
Feeling secured he unzeeped his
pants and started doing it. When
he was close to climax he closed
his eyes and kept doing it,he
heard someone saying "sir, " not
wanting to loose the climax he
ignored it still having his eyes
closed.
But heard it even louder and a tap
on the shoulder
"Sir,sir, " he replied
"What?"still having his eyes closed.
"sir this is the police officer,what
are you doing?"
he said "I'm checking the axle"
the officer replied "well you better
check your brakes too cause your
truck rolled a
mile down,about 6minutes ago."
"whaaat."

ADD SWAG TO YOUR JOB
> Garden Boy
> Landscape Executive and Animal
Nutritionist
> House Maid
> Domestic Operations Specialist
> Typist
> Printed Document Handler
> Messenger
> Regional Business
Communications Conveyer
> Thief
> Wealth Redistribution Officer
> Driver
> Automobile Propulsion Specialist
> Receptionist
> Office Access Control Specialist
> Cook
> Food Technician and
Preparation Officer
> News paper distributor
> Print media distribution
specialist
> Window Cleaner
> Transparent Wall Technician
> Tea Boy
> Refreshments Overseer
> Garbage Collector
> Public Sanitation Technician
> House cleaner
> Domestic sanitation technician
> Hotel/club cleaner
> Business place hygiene and
sanitation specialist
> Watchman
> Area Theft Prevention and
Surveillance Officer

Q: Why are condoms transparent?
A: So that sperms can at least
enjoy the scene even if their entry
is
Restricted!
Signboard outside a prostitute's
house:
Married MEN not allowed. We
serve the needy, not the greedy,
New AIDS awareness slogan:
Try different positions with the
same woman instead of same
position with
different women.
Why is $ex like shaving?
Well, because no matter how well
you do it today, tomorrow you'll
have
to do it again,
Q: What will happen if earth
rotates 30 times faster?
A: Men will get their salary
everyday and women will bleed to
death.
Q: Why do 90% gals have left
boob bigger than right?
A: Bcoz 90% boys are right
handed.
Q: What is the difference between
a PANTY & a STAGE CURTAIN?
A: When you pull down the STAGE
CURTAIN, the show is over, but
when you
pull down the PANTY, it is
SHOWTIME!
Q: What is the similarity between
a wife and a chewin.g gum?
A: Both are sweet in the
beginning but become tasteless
and shapeless later

5 Things Indian Movies Taught Us
1.Atleast one of the identical twins
is born evil, !
2.While defusing a bomb don't
worry which wire to cut,You will
always choose the
, right one, !
3.A hero will show no pain while
getting beaten up, but will show
pain when a women is trying to
clean his wound, !
4.A detective can solve a case only
when He's suspended from duty!
5.If you decide to start dancing on
the street,
everyone you meet will know the
steps, !

A guy phones up his Boss, but
gets the bosses' wife instead.
>"I'm afraid he died last week."
she explains.
,
>The next day the man calls again
and asks for the boss.
>"I told you" the wife replies,"he
died last week."
>The next day he calls again and
once more asks to Speak to his
boss.
>By this time the wife is getting
upset and shouts, "I'VE ALREADY
>TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND,
YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY
DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"
>He replied laughing,
>"I just love hearing it, "

1. A guitar has a volume knob
2. If you break a guitar's G-string,
it only costs 20bob for a new one
3. You can make a guitar scream
as loud as you want it to
4. You can unplug a guitar
5. You can finger a guitar for
hours without it complaining it
wants more
6. Other people can play your
guitar without it getting upset
7. You can finger a guitar in public
and get applause, not arrested
8. You can have a guitar any color
you want and no one will care
9. You can make your guitar as
tight as you want it just by
turning a peg.
10. If your guitar doesn't make
sounds you like, you can return it
11. You can use four fingers at a
time on a guitar
12. If your guitar strings are too
heavy, you can just get a lighter
set
13. You can have a guitar
professionally adjusted to *your*
liking
14. If you scratch a guitar's back,
it's unintentional, not required
15. You can go to a guitar shop
and play all the guitars you want
for free
16. It's good to have a guitar
that's stretched out.
17. You can take lessons on how
to play a guitar without feeling
embarrassed.
18. You can rent a guitar without
worrying about who rented it
before you.
19. You can play the guitar with
your bare fingers and no
protective covering.
20. You can get rich playing a
guitar, not broke.
21. A guitar doesn't take half of
everything you own when you sell
it.

1. Expensive Pussy
Most pussy falls into this
definition. Expensive Pussy can be
recognized by the following - fur
coats, $500 dresses, spandex,
bright colored shorts, and shirts
with greek letters on them. 98%
of good pussy falls into this
category.
Advantages: If you can afford it, it
will be great.
Disadvantages: Many, mostly in
the form of checking account
depletion. Often not worth it.
2. Cheap Pussy
Very rare. Usually comes in the
form of a girlfriend of yours who
will not go away no matter what
you do. Cheap Pussy can be
recognized by the following - she
will often pay for dinner,
understands when you are broke,
calls every day, wants it constantly,
easily hurt, but shake it off.
Advantages: Inexpensive,
guaranteed, loving, will try
anything once and sometimes
twice. You're lucky if you find this.
Disadvantages: Won't go away,
possessive, bugs you all the time,
can keep you from the tasks of
finding other pussy, will eventually
want to get married and/or have
children soon thus ruining it.
Often not worth it.
3. Hired Pussy
Found in the Hollywood area of
Southern California and in every
other large city in the US and
abroad. Recognized by scanty
clothes and come-hither looks.
Expense varies greatly with the
quality. The difference between
Hired Pussy and Expensive Pussy
is that the money is up-front.
Advantages: You don't have to
stick around, won't tell your
girlfriend, doesn't care who you
are or what you look like, often
very experienced, usually cheaper
than Expensive Pussy.
Disadvantages: More expensive
than Cheap Pussy in the long run,
risk of disease is high, is illegal in
most areas and the risk of jail
time is high. Often not worth it.
4. Virgin Pussy
This type is getting rarer each day.
Recognized by conservative
clothes, good manners, and a
marked distaste for dirty jokes
and Indecency movies. Can be very
loving if you promise marriage,
but will cause you more problems
as you go along. Frustration level
is high as Virgin Pussy tends to
want to stay that way for some
unknown reason.
Advantages: Risk of disease is
very low, will offer a very tight "fit"
if it gives in, sometimes open to
new experience, will often offer
"other" services if Virginity is to
be maintained.
Disadvantages: Usually will not
give in until marriage, will cause
discomfort upon use, not very
imaginative, not usually into using
birth control which can cause
"accidents", can only be used
once. Usually not worth it unless
you're into that sort of thing.
5. Nympho Pussy
Very rare. Recognized by the
tendency to drag you by your balls
into bed and going at it to the
point of exhaustion Very
experienced, will teach you things
you never knew. Expense varies
depending on level of
Nymphomania.
Advantages: Will send you into la-
la land, will try anything once.
Disadvantages: You are probably
not the only one, thus disease risk
can be high, will tire you out and
ask for more, can be unstable, will
not give a steady relationship.
Often not worth it.
6. Frigid Pussy
Less rare. See (4) for recognition.
Difference is that this Pussy will
not yield no matter what. Any
expense involved is simply wasted
(unless you are into real
frustration).
Advantages: There are no
advantages.
Disadvantages: Too many to list
here. Best to stay away once
recognized. Never worth it.
7. Innocent Nympho Pussy
Rare. Recognized by being in a
small, sweet, innocent package
which you would never in a
million years think would give in,
but when it does, you are in for a
hell of a surprise. Often mistaken
for (4). Expense varies, but usually
falls into the cheaper category.
Advantages: The surprise is
blissful. Always worth it. Keep it if
you can.
Disadvantages: If (4) is mistaken
for (7), serious consequences may
result. May or may not be faithful.
8. Party Pussy
Found at bars and at parties.
Recognized by glass of wine in
hand and bloodshot eyes. Will
engage in group festivities while
completely ripped. Expense usually
covers drinks. Make sure you are
not ripped as to better enjoy the
experience.
Advantages: Easy to obtain unless
you are real unlucky. Be sure to
say the right things.
Disadvantages: Disease risk is
high, will not usually remain
faithful, the Support System may
tend to puke all over you. Often
not worth it.
9. Nutsy Pussy
Support System has psychological
problems. Recognized by the fact
that she will go out with you, then
spill her problems on you. May
tend to kill you while you sleep.
Gives in for no apparent reason,
Usually found as a quiet co-
worker.

You're makin out with a girl
then u start pullin her pants
den she asks; what are u tryin
to do??Ans: i want to wash
them 4 u
This was me and SIJO

:p

wake up bedmate

goatish girl

DYT mama TOO ugly SOTEY when she
joined an ugly contest, they said
"Sorry, no professionals."
AND WHEN SHE MESS NA DUST DEY COME OUT

Abeg dont comment

told u its dry

lwkmd 4 here