₦airaland Forum

8. Is it painful?

No, its not painful. Bring your laps, let me cut it open.
Then, imagine someone grabbing your little johnny ,
twisting it for one week; every month for over 40
years of your life. While this happens, you’ll also be
bleeding profusely from your most intimate area,
experiencing head and back aches, nausea, bloating,
sore boobs and mood swings, and you’ll either need
the bathroom twice as often to check if you are
leaking or not. Guy, don’t ask me that question again,
biko.

7. Why are you wearing Beyonce pants? What
happened to your G-string?

Boda, it is for better for worse. If you like me in g
string, you should like me in granny panties as well.
Who g-string abi g-rope epp?

6. Why are you acting like a mad woman na?

Me? Mad woman…Have you experienced cramps
before? Do you know how many liters of blood I
release during menstruation? Egbon, it is over!

5. Do you want to do?

Well, we are divided about this, really. While some
ladies are like: “Oh please! Do you know how messy
menstruation is? Plus the sore vagina we carry
about? Do you know how heavy, sluggish and sore we
feel? Other women are like : “Give it to me baby! Take
me baby!” Na una sabi that one!

4. When will it finish so that I can enter again?

Dear bae, we do not know either. As much as we
enjoy chucking too, some periods may last for five
days on an average. It could be longer. Check back in
two weeks. No show for now.

3. Is it real blood?

No sir, it is ketchup mixed with Mile 12 tomatoes.

2. Why didn’t you tell me before hand?

Kai! I know we have a monthly calendar but most
times, our calculation is either two days ahead or two
day prior to the calculated date. Sorry, the chucking
will have to be suspended till next week.

1. Can I still enter ‘small’ if you are ‘seeing blood’?

Oga, you seriously need to fear God o! Enter where?
‘ seeing blood’ bawo? Doesn’t it have a name? It is
called menstruation, dude. And no, you cannot enter
small…

You’ll always find fruits in the church

Candles are not just for light

The hymns will move you

No jerry curls here, Dada is allowed


Every colour has a meaning

Pretty girls galore !!!!!

Yoruba reigns supreme
Yoruba reigns supreme Every other language comes second to Yoruba in
most white garment churches

Almost every form of dance is allowed

No shoes or slippers allowed

No shoes or slippers allowed

It wasn't easy compiling these mods do the needful

12- When you finally leave church by 4pm…

11- And finally church ends but you are told to wait behind for a ‘brief’ meeting… that extends to 1hr 30mins

10- But she changes the song and you can’t dab to it

9- Worship Leader sings ‘who has the final say?’

8- Finally…Offering time, blessing time!

7- But the message gets too long…

6- When the pastor mentions the topic and you are excited about the word

5- And then…’tell them welcome to church’…but your neighbor has mouth odour

4- After worship…Slap 5 people a hi 5

3- Eventually, the worship leader sings a song you know

2- And then…“Sing this song like you mean it ”

1- The worship leader starts with…somebody
shout halleluyah

jennyff:
Una still dey wait for HARDON abi, . haven't y'all seen what he wrote above.

Rumors had it that due to recent tomato scarcity all over the country, hs unable to have enough tomatoes for hs meals leading to low blood in hs system, and as such enough blood no dey reach hs most beloved cliche BALLS to provide the courage for attacking the mysterious creatures.

In other news, women matter no dey pay again and as such , him don move to other ventures.

I implore y'all to seek greener pasture Red balls elsewhere

nailed it!!!