₦airaland Forum

What did you do to fill the hours between shoots?
Well, it got weird before we even started filming. The night we arrived, I found out I was sharing a bed with the producer and one of the lead actors, who were both absolutely massive, so that was kind of awkward. It then turned out that they were all uber-Christian, so they started listening to all this insane preaching, then began talking in tongues for a bit. Then, right after that, they whack on this ridiculous porn, so it goes from Christian love-in to Indecency session.

What about your groupie experience?
Oh God, yeah. That night, they left me in there by myself, then I get a knock on the door and it's three of the actresses holding a big boombox, playing all this hypersexual R&B. They all started stripping all around me and trying to get me up to dance with them. I was already so uncomfortable after that weird porn experience, and I think they were a bit disappointed I didn't join in, but I was scared.

Very nice. What is the movie about, exactly?
It's set in a village called Insawa, which is famous for practicing old African magic, some of which involves killing babies and stuff. The prince of Insawa had gone to study at Oxford, where he met Pastor Williams—my character—who converted him to Christianity, so the prince goes back and tries to convert his village. But there's an evil goddess of dark magic there who makes it very hard for him. So, he asks me to fly over to Insawa to spread the word of God, but this goddess tries to kill me and—spoiler alert—we end up falling in love, she stops being so evil and the whole village gets converted to Christianity. The final scene is me and her with a mixed-race baby, living happily ever after.

Ah, you ruined the ending.
Well, the film's five hours long, so I was just saving you a bit of time. It's weird; I never, at any point in my life, thought that I might contribute to the Christianization of Africa. It kind of became a real moral dilemma for me, because I think it's the most horrendous thing that's been done there.

Did you have to audition?
Yeah, I got taken to some back alley in Accra, the capital city, and walked into a room where there were these five huge Nigerian guys in suits who were all smoking Cuban cigars. There was only one other guy there to audition—this overweight Ukrainian guy covered in gold chains—so he went first and had to say the line, "You are the most beautiful black creature I've ever seen in my life." But he had a really thick accent. I got up, said the line, and they were all over me. They asked if I was Christian, and I lied and said yes because I figured I was there and might as well go for it. I saw Dundo later that day and he told me I got the part.

I bet you were psyched. How soon did you start shooting?
I think it was about two weeks between the audition and the first day, so that gave me a bit of time to look at the script, which was full of the most horrendously cringeworthy lines I've ever seen in my life. Anyway, two weeks later, they picked me up in this van with the other 30 members of cast and crew and drove us three hours to this hotel in the Ghanaian rainforest, which also acted as the palace in the movie.

VICE: Hey, Louis. First off, tell me how the hell all of this happened.
Louis Mole: Well, I was volunteering at a football organization in Ghana, and I'd go drinking at this bar every evening with Dundo Nsawam, a Nigerian politician I'd met out there. It turned out one of his best friends is a top Nigerian casting agent, and he desperately needed a white guy for his new film.

Just any white guy?
Yeah, basically. Any English-speaking white guy. He said he really liked the chemistry between me and Dundo, so he wanted me to be in the film, but I was like, "This is absurd. I've never acted before in my life''.

[size=15pt]I WAS AN ACCIDENTAL NIGERIAN FILM STAR[/size]
By Jamie Clifton

My cousin Louis is one of those people who always ends up in preposterous situations. A couple of years ago he went backpacking in India, where he got kidnapped on arrival and held for ransom on a houseboat in Kashmir for a week. He spent his entire time there locked in awkward silence with an old man who smoked fist-sized rocks of hash out of a weird pipe contraption, and was finally set free after giving his captors his entire traveling budget. Why they didn't just mug him, I don't know. It seems like a lot more effort to keep someone hostage than to just leave them helpless in the street. But that's Louis.

A little later in the year, he was staying in Ghana and ended up becoming the star of Festival of Love, a Nigerian film about witchcraft and Christianity. You can see Louis make his entrance at 1:50 here if you don't believe me/want to be blown away by some of the highest production values around. I dug out his phone number and spoke to Louis about his experience.

what is with all the abortion threads today?

why are all the chics refraining from posting

^^^right on

sexkillz: [color=#000030]I understand your point, and you are right as well, but then the pic is just so gruesome mehn. . . I almost puked. [/color]

guy, this world is a horrible place. Imagine that in every dingy rundown clinic in Nigeria, this is what happens.

See how casual she is even debating it?
The father is willing to stand by you and the baby, what else do you want? If you can juggle s@x alongside your books then you should be able to manage a baby.

Selfish rubbish good for nothing whores!

[size=20pt]Killz that pic was meant to let OP understand that she isn't getting a filling but killing a human being and her own baby as well.

If nobody appreciates it, then they should not ever get pregnant in the first place. If that can't be managed then they should consider sterilization. Or better yet, do the right thing AND OWN UP TO YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES[/size]

My daughter will be 13 by september 27, I had her when I was 17. Her mom was 21. I never knew she was pregnant, cos I had to travel out, 2yrs later I came back to Nigeria and behold I had a baby girl.

She made me mature and more focused and since then she is the only woman after my heart.

Will I ever dream of hurting her. NEVER!

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I nominate all the aborted fetuses that have at one time browsed from the womb of a female NLer

f00lish niggaz

@OP: For your viewing pleasure

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