₦airaland Forum

,

190: Most Nigerian girls bed wet on their boyfriends bed

Its a common thing with Nigerian girls

OLODO. OP did not mean pissin but WETTING.

Small pr1ck

swtchicgurl: wow! Nice thread, great topic!

Ok, it hasn't been an easy [/b]task, but, living [b]one day at a time is probably the best prescription for anyone who wants to continue a virgin till d great and memorable wedding night! Can't wait!

I LAFF

The house saw it appropriate to hold public hearings during the Fuel Subsidy probe. The same house saw it convenient to hold closed sessions when it came down to Farouk and Bankole.



Shameless, f00lish opportunists.

[size=15pt]And just like that a baby was saved by a majority vote on an internet forum.[/size]

wtf? pretty boy contest?

hormones

Perfect! Ready made slave.

On the lighter side...

Billy-Bob was driving his Buick Pickup truck back to his trailer park after closing from the mill as he approached the bridge leading into his Red-Neck recluse he noticed a lady standing on the rail and about to jump. He stopped the car and ran towards her only to notice that it was Sue-Allen. He goes; "what in hell are you up to Sue-Allen".
She replies; "let me be Billy, It's all your fault, am pregnant"

Billy Bob: what you mean you pregnant?
Sue-Allen: Like am gonna have your baby.
Billy -Bob: That's great!. Honey you wanna get down from the rail, now.
Sue-Allen: No, I just want to end it. I feel so ashamed. What mah ma and pa gonna say? I will never get to go see the world, I will be stuck here with you and you know how I really want to leave this here dump. I wanna go to California and become an actress. But No. That will never happen. Am just gonna jump and end it right now.

After a brief silence, Billy Bob says: Sue-Allen, you were the best lay ever and a great sport. I will never forget this.

and then he drives off.

Britiah, you don't say?

And what part of the inter-galactic wild web of spammers is that?

https://www.nairaland.com/980226/accidental-nigerian-film-star#11309397

Funniest read ever

http://www.vice.com/read/i-was-an-accidental-nollywood-film-star-festival-of-love

[size=40pt]I lol'd hard![/size]

Oh, I forgot about my absolute favorite moment from what I've seen of the film. The love scene with the goddess in the waterfall.
Oh yeah, that was hilarious. It was a silent monologue where we had to pretend to be in love, and I hated the actress playing the goddess by this point. She was such a prima donna. You know, clicking her fingers for people to bring her stuff—I couldn't stand it. Anyway, we were supposed to be in love, so we'd be looking lovingly at each other, then she'd point at something in a tree and be like, "Oh my God, do you have any pets? What's your favorite food?" And I'd be like, "Oh yes, a cat, and I love shepherd's pie and pizza." Then, after that scene, I take her hand and lead her to this rock, look at her very sincerely, and say "You are the most beautiful black creature I've ever set my eyes on," which is just the most ridiculous thing I've ever said. It's very painful to watch.

I'm actually very jealous in a lot of ways. What happened after the movie wrapped?
Promotional interviews where I had to say stuff like, "I've been blessed by these people, and I think the script was so beautiful and eloquent, and it's so important to spread the word of Christianity," and a load of other ridiculous stuff. I also started seeing my picture everywhere, because the film got released in, I think, 13 African countries, and the method of advertising a film out there is to stick a load of posters on the side of a van, and drive around with a loudspeaker shouting about the film. So I started getting people shouting "Pastor Williams" at me in the street.

So you suddenly had an army of fans?
Not quite, but even as I'm talking to you now, I'm getting messages and friend requests from Nigerian women, either complimenting me on my chemistry with the goddess, or suggesting that we get married so they can get a visa. Wait, one just popped up on Facebook chat—someone called Promise Love—she's asking if I know how she can get an audition for a film.

Hook her up.
Oh, also, about a year after all this, I was out at a club in Manchester. It was about five in the morning, and I was taking a piss. This guy taps on my shoulder and goes, "Are you that boy from that movie Festival of Love?" I told him I was, so he got five of his friends into the bathroom and they made me reenact the "You're the most beautiful black creature..." scene in this nightclub toilet at five in the morning. It was bizarre.

Yep, seems it. Thanks Louis, see you at the next family barbecue.

Wow. Then what?
I think next up was a scene where I had to perform an exorcism on a woman who'd been possessed, and this was during the local school's lunch break, so I had about 200 children watching me in hysterics as I was screaming stuff like, "Deliver the devil from the depths of your soul!"

[b]That sounds like a lot fun.
[/b]It was horrendous. In the next scene, I was supposed to recite a prayer in front of about 50 locals, but, of course, I don't know any prayers, except for what I could remember of the Lord's prayer from school. They said, "OK, just talk in tongues for a bit." Obviously I'd never talked in tongues before, but they said if I just got in touch with the God inside me, or whatever, then it would be easy. I took a deep breath and just tried to copy what I'd heard the guys do in the hotel room the night before, and it obviously worked, because all these locals started going completely mental.

Ha, fair enough. And this was all on the first night?
Yeah, I still couldn't believe it was happening. The next day we had the costume fitting. I was 18 at the time and I had just lost weight, because I wasn't really eating. I'd also shaved my head pretty recently. They put me in this ridiculously oversized suit and whacked a load of thick hair gel on my head, so I looked like I was 12.

What was your first scene?
It was right in the heart of the rainforest, and I was surrounded by about 20 people. They gave me a loudspeaker and told me to improvise a monologue about the beginning of time and why I was there as a Christian missionary. The most ridiculous thing, though, is that everyone was about a meter away from me, so I'm screaming in their faces about how time began at the beginning of the Old Testament and all this stuff about my purpose as a messenger of God.