₦airaland Forum

naijababe: I honestly can't tell you what i'm feeling right now! My feeling go from anger to dejection to regret to every negative feeling you can imagine. I just looked at crude oil and my fingers are this close to trading it.

newloaded: Ever since i got married to my wife things have taken a down-turn in all aspects of my life .I now sleep to have funny dreams,nightmares ;waking up to see different scratches all over my body as opposed to how i was before the wedding .I discovered things have just been falling apart and business arent just picking up.I lost my banking job and my business is at its lowest ebb.So many prophets have pin pointed my woes to my wife ,saying she belongs to the marine kingdom and shes in my life to render me to nothing and thereafter destroy me and signs to confirm this i have witnessed on several occasions.
I would like to know if this actually happens or is it just some fairy tales that should be jettisoned?If it is,what options do i have ?Do i seek for her deliverance or simply separate from her ?What if she doesnt want to be delivered ?what should i do?
Opinions and please no insults .

bright87: Well she has categorically asked me what will happen if she wait for me and I get back, but I have told her that I can't promise her marriage, but i know i truly love her enough to settle down with her if she is true with me... She was even the one suggesting about the future with me, but have told her categorically not to wait for me because i am not sure she could. I truly dont know why most ppl seems to think of me as being bad, if I never liked her truly I won't even bring this topic to be debated here. She has assured me several time on how much she does love and when I tell her that I doubt her she gets so crazily angry... I won't dump her if am sure about her. she seem responsible and has a great career, but as you know u can't stick your neck by trusting others. U get me ? Mixed feelings gets me confused !

bright87: Well she has categorically asked me what will happen if she wait for me and I get back, but I have told her that I can't promise her marriage, but i know i truly love her enough to settle down with her if she is true with me... She was even the one suggesting about the future with me, but have told her categorically not to wait for me because i am not sure she could. I truly dont know why most ppl seems to think of me as being bad, if I never liked her truly I won't even bring this topic to be debated here. She has assured me several time on how much she does love and when I tell her that I doubt her she gets so crazily angry... I won't dump her if am sure about her. she seem responsible and has a great career, but as you know u can't stick your neck by trusting others. U get me ? Mixed feelings gets me confused !

manmustwac: It’s an incredible con job when you think about it, to spend your whole life believing in something now in exchange for something after your death. Even big corporations with their reward systems don’t try to make it posthumous

Gloria Steinem

dekung: Christian: So do you believe in heaven or hell?
Atheist: No



Christian: So what happens to you when you die, or where do you go to when you die
Atheist: The same I was before I was born

Mogidi: Corruption didn't start with this administration. Why not just agree we all need to do our bit to stop corruption?

Mogidi: Corruption didn't start with this administration. Why not just agree we all need to do our bit to stop corruption?

Mogidi: What do you expect Mr president to do? Corruption can't be a one man crusade and we the citizens don't help matters by engaging in this corruption that we hate so much. Next time a policeman stops you refuse to bribe him and you would be doing your bit to move the country away from corruption. We all have a stake in this country and not just the govt alone.

Sincere 9gerian: What can you say about corruption in Nigeria today? Is it reducing or increasing?

The truth about assessing corruption is that it is very SUBJECTIVE, unlike roads, stable power, railways,etc that can be SEEN and TOUCHED. Going by accounts in the media, one would think corruption is increasing. Unfortunately, the media is still reinforcing the age-long PERCEPTION of high level of corruption in the country.

But what are the sources/avenues of corruption in Nigeria?

In my opinion, the MAJOR sources/avenue of corruption in Nigeria, based on the structure of the budget, include:

* from the capital side
1 over-inflated contracts
2 poorly executed or abandoned projects

* from the recurrent expenditure side
1 ghost workers/pensioners
2 security votes
3 ambiguous budget sub-heads

There are other avenues(eg subsidies like fuel subsidy, fertilizer subsidy) but these are the ones that readily comes to mind.

Since we know the MAJOR avenues/sources for corruption we can attempt a slightly more OBJECTIVE assessment of whether corruption is increasing or decreasing in Nigeria by working from the KNOWN to the UNKNOWN

First lets assess if the level of over-inflated contracts is increasing or decreasing. If its increasing, it implies corruption is increasing and if its decreasing, it implies corruption is decreasing. In the last 2yrs, it is difficult not to have noticed the practice at the federal level of publishing the contract sums, name of contractor, location of project, project specification,etc of every project awarded for ALL to see and take notice, and complain of over-inflated contract where such is suspected. In the absence of such complaints from any quarter, it is safe to assume most of the projects awarded in the last 2yrs or so were REASONABLY costed. If that is the case, it is an INDICATOR of reducing corruption. Now the challenge is for such practice to trickle down to the states and local govt level.
http://peoplesdailyng.com/fec-approves-n47-8bn-for-13-road-contracts/
http://thenationonlineng.net/new/news/fed-govt-awards-n28b-contracts/

Next, lets assess the level of project execution in terms of quality and completion in the last few years. If the FG and states are churning out COMPLETED physical projects, of expected quality, it means the funds are indeed WORKING and not entrying private pockets. If the level is increasing, it implies corruption is reducing but if its decreasing (ie more projects are being abandoned or more projects are being poorly executed) it implies corruption is increasing.

For instance, if N20billion was budgeted to complete the Lagos-kano rail line, and when we SEE the Lagos-kano rail line has been completed, it means the N20billion did its WORK, and did not enter private pocket. Again, If N500million was meant to rehabilitate Enugu-Ph road, and we can SEE the work being done and later completed, it means the N500million did its WORK, and did not go into private pocket.

The massive, good QUALITY, projects being completed by federal and state govts nationwide is the MOST IMPORTANT testimony to REDUCTION in corruption in Nigeria.

On the recurrent side of the state and federal budgets, the menace of ghost workers is being tackled frontally. The federal govt for instance, through reforms in the civil service, have so far flushed out a total of 45,000 ghost workers who earned over N100billion had been uncovered from about 251 ministries, directorates and agencies. This singular reform has saved this country about N100billion (more than the annual budget of some states)
http://bbs.chinadaily.com.cn/thread-830385-1-1.html

Several states have also flushed out thousands of ghost workers in their payroll.

Sadly, on the issue of security votes, not much progress has been made besides isolated media reports(unconfirmed) that governor Rochas Okorocha reduced his security vote by about 70%. The challenge is to pressurise more public officers to give up their bogus security votes.

From all of the above, it is safe and FAIR to conclude that corruption is reducing in Nigeria.

However, this does not mean corruption has been eradicated. There are still several loopholes at particularly the state and local govt level, not exempting the federal govt. Bogus allowances, albeit lawful, should also be drastically reduced.

Therefore, the claim that corruption is increasing in Nigeria is dubious, baseless and fallacious. Corruption can only be increasing in the imagination of some opposition elements and compromised media organisations.

L brasi: Bros leave STD make e rest abeg.opportunity once lost is also applicable to punny!

Shakslayer: Hello Nairalanders, what am about to relate here just happened over the weekend and it got me so confused, i told a friend of mine, who then asked me to join this forum and narrate my ordeal, i might get useful answers. So here i go.

A few months back, i met a lady on a social networking site, she is a Pharmaceutical student in one of the Universities in the South-South. We got talking, trying to psych up each other's intellectual prowess. i discovered she is a very good communicator, well read and highly versatile in almost every topic (politics, sports, social events, religion etc). She knew a bit about almost everything, and i too, am also an all rounder. So we took a liking to each other.

With each passing day, as expected, the issue of s*ex came up, i told her that i can never put pressure on a woman for s*ex on a first date, no matter how much pressed i am. I'd rather suffer in silence than do that. She said it's a lie, all men are the same, they appear nice and cute on the outside, but the moment a woman come into their life, the demon in them come out. I told her, am different, that the moment am focused on something, am focused, and unless the lady makes me believe she wants s*ex, i'll never ask her for it (on a first date). We both laughed and forgot the issue.

Just last week, i was sent on a strategic training session in her State, and i called her on Friday evening, after classes. She came to my hotel, we hugged, laughed, and said all sorts of nice things to each other (being the first time we're meeting), and we decided to spend the cool evening in a romantic resort. At about 8pm, when it was time to go, i called a cab to take her to her hostel and then take me back to my hotel. She told the cab driver to take us to my hotel first, that she'll pick a cab from there back to her hostel. I agreed. We got to the hotel and she changed her mind, said she would spend the night and go back early Saturday. I was curious, but didnt argue, we both watched SkyNews till about 10pm and decided it was time to sleep, she went to take her bath while i went downstairs to get a recharge card. When i came back, i saw her wearing one of the sexiest, silky pacific-blue lingerie, she was arranging her hair in the bed mirror, immediately, i knew i was in for a huge test, so i complimented her outfit, got my blanket out and made to sleep on the couch. She looked at me with the side of her eyes, mumbled some incoherent words and got into the bed. My mind was heavy and i couldn't sleep. After a while, i heard her faint snoring and immediately knew she has slept, so i forced myself to sleep too.

Early the next morning, she woke up with a chip on her shoulders, i greeted her, she brushed it aside, she made to the bathroom, brushed, took her bath, and in less than 15mins, she was on the elevator going back to her hostel. I was shocked, dumbfounded and too scared to even follow her, i tried to BB her, she has deleted me, i called, she wouldnt take my calls. I came back to Lagos yesterday, still tried calling with the office line, as soon as she hears my voice, she'll drop the call.

So guys, thats my story. Where did i go wrong? I think am attracted to her as much as she is to me. Matured responses would be highly appreciated.

Many thanks

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