₦airaland Forum

ajalawole:
nothing do am. Gray hair is normal. I know some who start growing gray hair at 25. Am in my 30s and have a lot of gray hair on my head and beards, but my hair cream is helping a lot on that. You can only notice the gray hair on my beards

When you were quite younger, were you one of those guys who dye thier hair after every haircut? If you were, then You have your answer. Or perhaps yours is genetic.

Everytime I go to the salon, and I see young boys dying thier hair for no reason , I shake my head. That act is just an invitation for gray hair, I mean, if you do it once in a blue moon, it’s cool. But after every haircut? It’s just a matter of time . the thing about dye is that , once you make it a routine thing ,then you better be consistent because if you stop , white hair willl take over your hair wether you’re in your 30’s or 50’s

ollyboy900:
Honestly, i look for red flags in our courting years but i couldn't find any on her part. She was my coursemate in the university and we got together from the 100L so i had all the time to study her.
She was sweeter then, understanding and caring. She was even the churchy type, she would occasionally call me Omo Eshu (Devils child 😀), because, you know now, boys no get time for church stuff. How the care disappeared after marriage is what i couldn't fathom.

However, you were right about your second paragraph. Because the woman runs the house, she is obviously richer that her husband. But i was never opportuned to study them. I lived in oyo state at the time and they are based in Lagos. So even during holidays, i really never visited this babe in their home until we were ready for introduction.

It is well bro, this too shall pass

ollyboy900:
Bro i tried. My estranged woman family is the type that do not want their daughters (children in short including their only son) to live even a mile away from them. The story long

When we were preparing for wedding, they wanted to force me to rent a N1m flat on the Lagos Island (Omo, after all the wedding expenses and their unreasonable traditional wedding list) , my capacity was a N450k 2 bedroom flat at the time (2018), on the Mainland.

This caused friction for more than 2year as her mother said she would never come to our house because it's far. I sensed her hanger was because she couldn't control me perhaps like she's doing two her other two son inlaws

Her mother built on the island so she was obviously trying to make us stay close to her. Her other two daughters; one lives on the same street with her hubby, the other lives in her mother's building with her hubby (Chaii that cannot be me). They are obviously well to do than my family but i no send them, i get good job, i have ambition and i know my strength.

I got the shocker after the wedding, we conceived my first son just 2 weeks after the wedding (Yes, na my son no worries. DNA is done) and sorry i forgot to mention that my estranged madam works on the island, so her office is closer to her mother's home. That how she told me that she would be staying in her mother's house from Monday till Friday, she will come home on friday then leave again on Monday just to avoid traffic stress to and fro daily,

We have agreed before wedding that she would seek job at ikeja, closer to home after wedding but she seems not interested in that anymore.
When i explained my disapproval of her decision to her family, they obviously backed their daughter and that showed me that it was orchestrated by them.

Bro, that's how i lived for 7.5yrs in that marriage ooo, partly married, weekend wife. We were blessed with two handsome boys. But just like a poster said up there, mostly men must act the fool for the marriage to work (what a big fool i was 😀).

When it comes to the home, i pay 99.99% of the expenses, from children schools fees, house rent, kids upkip, food stuff, all kitchen gadgets that mostly reasonable women would get themselves (except all plates, spoons and cups we use in the house despite that madam is working). Compound cleaner was the least monthly expense i paid, just N1500. Madam didn't pay a single one for all the period of marriage, even when i sat her down to reason, she wouldn't change.
Even if expenses is choking me (You know those time when house rent expires children resumes a new section, family car broke down all at once?), when i get them sorted out, she will never bother to ask me how i did.

But what broke the camels's back happened last year 2025. September 2024, i paid for her professional exam, i encouraged her to start so that when she becomes chattered, she would be able to get good job closer to home (ikeja been the target), she did her her first diet in November, result should be out in max a month time, but she never tell me her results, i kept asking but she said she hasn't check. I noticed she may be having cold feet about the result, but i told her not to worry. It is unlikely you pass all your papers at once, i am the one paying, just read.

I later heard from an outsider that she passed one out of four papers, she never told me. Towards the end of December 2024, i bought a lithium battery to ensure we have steady light at home so she can read in the midnight. Unfortunately, that battery exploded on Wednesday 8th January while charging it, alot of properties were destroyed, it was around 8pm, thank God she was away with my kids and thank God it wasn't when i was sleeping. Neighbors rose to my help and we quench the fire but the damage was much.

I informed madam the second morning and told her not to worry that I'm safe, know fully that she will be home on friday. When she return she never said anything, never bothered how i survived, never greeted me. I had electrician working (because all the 6 prepaid meter in our compound were burnt) painters working, aluminum man changing all the broken windows etc. But nothing like "How is it going" from madam or her family members (i overheard her telling telling her that about the situation over the phone later that day)

That day i knew i married my enemy and i was the only one in that marriage, she doesn't care.
I felt pained, rejected and lonely but i left it behind for my kids' sake. I tried to find out from her if i offended her in anyway or why she couldn't be stone hearted towards me like that, but she said "nothing". For the first time in 7yrs, i reported her to her father but i see no changes or even feedback from her father.

But the decision to leave happened in june last year to October, i was sick to the point of no return. Millions of Naira gone finding my health, but madam was never there, she didn't even take a one day leave to stay by me. Her parent was informed on my condition but never bother to call or even pay a visit.
Then my siblings started coming to my house to take care of me, each of them stays a month before next one comes (i always inform her of their coming so she doesn't feel off). Even when she comes home in the weekend and i insist that she should be the one to make my food, she won't, she will say my family members is around and should make my food afterall they do it when she's not around.
I had to leave home early in September because my siblings also left their lives to take care of my out of love (thank God i am good to all of the; so the love was massive), one of them, kid sister lives in ibadan and not married yet, so i moved to stay with her and continue my search for healing. I decided not inform her to see if she would be worried of my wereabout. For 3 months sept-Nov, she didn't bother to call any of my family member to find out about me or where i could be, her parent? the same. She still comes home every weekend without the kids, (perhaps because of her studies), i do see her from the CCTV.

Then, i knew i had to leave. Then i packed my load outa the house towards November ending (still had 5 months rent when i packed), got an apartment in another state and living my life. Thank God for the investments here and there cause i couldn't work (I run my own business) throughout the period and medical bills was much, i still took care of all the home and kids financial needs. Madam's contribution was on N10k throughout the ordeal, and that's on the day i was run rushed to General hospital cos i hadn't been sleeping for 14days straight. My car was out of fuel and i was out of cash.

Now she is fully back to her parents' house, are other 2 sisters are back too (their husbands don carry the children and left). Her only brother is 34, unmarried, still staying with the mother. Father and mother are no divorced but haven't been living together for like 15yrs. Now their family pastors are the one calling me and my siblings up and down preaching "what God has join together" bulls**hit.

She was a good girl before marriage, but trust me, this gender sabi hide their true color. I never cheated on her (infact I've never had intimacy with 2 woman in my life), not that i can't but it doesn't just align with my moral value, i provide, i made her my best friend but it wasn't enough. No one should tell me about "marry right" because no relationship feels wrong before you say i do. There is a reason why apostles paul admonished men in the bible not to marry if not to fall into adultry, marriage is trouble. If yours hasn't come, congrats. Enjoy it while it last, early or later, you must regret something about it. And if your marriage is below 5yrs, abeg don't think you have a good home yet, time will test your marriage

So now my brother, i must thank you for allowing me to vent this off, can't believe i wrote this epistle. My focus now is to build my empire so my boys can be proud of me cos i plan to give them the world. I will go see them in school tomorrow to celebrate their birthday ( Cake, biscuit, sweet parcel, everything is ready 🤫🤫).

I still thank God all these challenges surfaced while I'm still young. At 37, i still have greater things ahead of me, women may not be one of them though.

Big bros, this your experience ehn, really choke.
The red flag has always been there , maybe you didn’t notice it, or maybe you did and thought you could handle it in the long run. Perhaps your first mistake. I’ve always told my guys, even if you just met a lady today, and you spot a red flag, no matter how beautiful she is, cut her off immediately. The mistake that we men mostly make is wanting to prove that we are men and can handle women’s bs and form maturity , Then it spirals beyond something that we can contain as time progresses, then we lose our frame and become emasculated.

Second mistake is over looking the power dynamics at play at the home your wife grew up, seems to me like the mother was in control and ran it like a military camp. women like that always want to raise thier daughters to be like them in marriage. And the foolish daughters always think all her ill advices comes from a place of motherly love , not knowing that the agenda here is to make sure that thier own marriage too is not as successful because misery love company. How can three daughters , previously married , end up living with thier mother ? Coincidence? or a crazy pattern?. Just glad to see that you’re optimistic and looking foward to a great future

FreeStuffsNG:
You saw the red flags right from the beginning but decided to play dumb.

Now that you are jobless, trust me, you have bigger problems that made me wonder how you can still pour your lamentations on social media instead of moving on with your real problems.

Go and find job again, build up yourself again. When you are ready for love again, you will know.



Btw, not all single moms or Dads are evil. Quit the stereotype.

Are you sure my bro?, that not all single moms are evil? Because they are never beating the allegations 9 out of ten times. I don’t know , I just feel that there’s this animosity single moms have for men in general, maybe it’s not pronounced in most cases but it’s there somewhere. Taking out the anger they feel for the one who they chose and who left them on other men. Funny thing is, you don’t even have to be dating a single mom to incur thier wrath. A single mom bleeped up my visa application and I was denied. What happened? She complained that I only call and text to ask about my application and that I don’t care to ask how she’s doing and whatnot. Couldn’t believe my ears.

joinnow:
The condition is commonly called penis captivus.
It is a rare, involuntary medical phenomenon where the penis becomes temporarily trapped inside the vagina during sexual intercourse. This happens because the vaginal muscles contract strongly (often during orgasm) while the penis is still erect, making withdrawal difficult for a short period.
Key points for clarity:
It is not dangerous in most cases
It usually resolves on its own within minutes
Panic and force should be avoided, as they can worsen muscle spasm
Relaxation and calm breathing typically help the muscles release
If it ever lasts unusually long or causes pain, medical attention is recommended.

You people keep saying this penis captivus nonsense, but this thing only happens when people frolic with people’s wife and husband , medical phenomenon my a**