₦airaland Forum

agadez007:
It’s surprising to me that the female voice on Ollie gee’s “daddy moh” wasn’t Igbo,it was perfect like an igbo woman sang it
They did another one I forgot the name now

For real? That lady with that sonorous voice isn’t Igbo? Remember she also sang that “ remember you promised me a car part. How could she have gotten the intonation correctly? I hope Ollie gee is still alive. Good times Mehn.

Runninghare:
https://www.bbc.com/news/live/c0ry0yzxeyxt

Great woman , Aside music, she was active too in movies. She did a wonderful job on “ joyful noise” starring queen latifah and keke Palmer. Rest easy legend.

Tenrack:
Omo very terrible beings. Sorry about your ordeal. You'll get another shot.

Amen brother , thanks

Tenrack:
ah no be JuJu be that? Did you report her to the organization she worked for? Omo which kind mumu thing be that? Na you she open leg for give am belle abandon her silly ass? No wonder she's messed up. A lot of them are walking around with baggages looking for men to use.

My bro , these people are indeed something else. If at all any man want to have anything to do with them, Let it just be on a transactional basis, or thanks for coming ish. Don’t keep them around long term.

No One to report to , she owns the agency herself
But it’s all good sha, lessons learnt , Before any of my documents will go across a table of any female again, I’ll do some digging first.

Kemical23:
Many of this kids committing suicide have not experience half of what boys and girls face delay in the street everyday, many of them are just too emotional...
You have the opportunity to attend higher institution an opportunity many of your mates and class mates who are a way brilliant than you never dream off...

The poor people in the street and village you guys always body shame hardly commit suicide it always those doing better....

The thief you make to dance in the street have every reason to commit suicide but they move on...

I know what I'm saying....

Poverty is not the only way for people to struggle bro:

Dpsychologist:
There is something I have observed over the years, and I would like to hear other people's opinions on it.

Many men seem to end up in one of two extremes.

If you are the confident, unpredictable and "bad boy" type, many women appear to enjoy the excitement you bring. They overlook your flaws, forgive your mistakes more easily and sometimes even compete for your attention. You become someone they want to chase, even when your actions do not always deserve it.

On the other hand, if you are the dependable, respectful and genuinely kind man, life can take a completely different turn. Instead of being appreciated, your kindness is sometimes mistaken for weakness. Your generosity becomes an expectation insteadTitle: As a Man, You Are Either the Exciting Guy or the Useful Guy. Why Is There Rarely a Balance?

There is something I have observed over the years, and I would like to hear other people's opinions on it.

Many men seem to end up in one of two extremes.

If you are the confident, unpredictable and "bad boy" type, many women appear to enjoy the excitement you bring. They overlook your flaws, forgive your mistakes more easily and sometimes even compete for your attention. You become someone they want to chase, even when your actions do not always deserve it.

On the other hand, if you are the dependable, respectful and genuinely kind man, life can take a completely different turn. Instead of being appreciated, your kindness is sometimes mistaken for weakness. Your generosity becomes an expectation instead of something valued. Your time, your emotional support and your money slowly become things people feel entitled to rather than grateful for.

Many good men have discovered that the more they give without setting boundaries, the more they are expected to give. The relationship gradually becomes less about mutual love and more about what they can provide. Once they stop providing, the treatment often changes almost immediately.

This raises an uncomfortable question.

Why does it sometimes seem easier to be desired as the exciting man than appreciated as the dependable man?

Personally, I do not think the solution is becoming toxic or pretending to be a bad boy. Neither do I believe men should become bitter or stop being kind.

The real solution is balance.

A man should be kind but never naive. He should be generous but not allow himself to be exploited. He should love deeply while still maintaining self respect. He should help willingly without becoming anyone's personal ATM.

Kindness without boundaries attracts exploitation. Confidence without character creates chaos. Healthy relationships require both love and mutual respect.

Perhaps the biggest lesson for men is this: never build your entire value around what you can provide financially. Build yourself into a man whose presence, character and principles are just as valuable as his wallet.

What do you think?

Do you agree that many men are either explored for excitement or exploited for provision, or do you see it differently? of something valued. Your time, your emotional support and your money slowly become things people feel entitled to rather than grateful for.

Many good men have discovered that the more they give without setting boundaries, the more they are expected to give. The relationship gradually becomes less about mutual love and more about what they can provide. Once they stop providing, the treatment often changes almost immediately.

This raises an uncomfortable question.

Why does it sometimes seem easier to be desired as the exciting man than appreciated as the dependable man?

Personally, I do not think the solution is becoming toxic or pretending to be a bad boy. Neither do I believe men should become bitter or stop being kind.

The real solution is balance.

A man should be kind but not naive. He should be generous but not allow himself to be exploited. He should love deeply while still maintaining self respect. He should help willingly without becoming everyone's personal ATM.

Kindness without boundaries attracts exploitation. Confidence without character creates chaos. Healthy relationships require both love and mutual respect.

Perhaps the biggest lesson for men is this: never build your entire value around what you can provide financially. Build yourself into a man whose presence, character and principles are just as valuable as his wallet.

What do you think?

Do you agree that many men are either explored for excitement or exploited for provision, or do you see it differently?

This is a thought provoking post. And I like that your stance is as neutral as possible. I know you alluded your post mainly to the confines of man-woman relationship, so permit me to stretch the argument a bit further from that purview.

Society have succeeded in finding a way to demand people with a brain to change and not the arrogant , disrespectful and abuser who I think still have a brain too. If not, why would being respectful and kind become detestable traits? That people are deeming it fit to take advantage of? And when something jeopardizing happens, we give the victim advice.” Don’t be too kind, it’s not just good” And then turn around to lament how the world is not a better place when the few good ones that could make that possible are being met with backlashes that turns them evil making sure that there’s no hope for the human race.

In international relations, this is referred to as the “ tragedy of the commons” collectively we want a better world, but individually, we keep taking selfish steps that furthermore leads to it’s destruction

And as for a man finding himself between these two extremes in relation with his dealing with women? What does it matter if you’re the nice or bad boy ? Both parties are still slaves fuffulling every feminine needs. Nothing but exhaustion at the end. A lose lose situation. Only semblance of a victory resides with the man who has decided to go his own way(mgtow). And even that , society will make sure you die in isolation and live your days as a social pariah
That is after word might have got around that you’re either gay or impotent. And then, treated accordingly.

Stephen0mozzy:
Phew....I understand. You'll overcome my Chief. First son here too 😅

Stay well and safe 🙏🏾

Thanks man, I appreciate, stay safe too

Hhh4444:
no need to explain to anyone about your struggles,just do you...no send wetin anybody want tell you. Always prioritise your sanity and peace of mind.

Thank man. I appreciate.

Stephen0mozzy:
My Brother, na how you take arrange chair for parlor naim your visitors go take siddan put.

Extended family will always say what they want to say. Me, them don say I wicked, get strong head, etc.... but themselves know that when it comes to being responsible and dependable na me too, so they just accept my "boundaries".

Also, move out as early as possible if you're still living together.

Brother , I actually Dey on my own , doing my thing and don’t ask for nothing. I don’t disrespect them in anyway , but they just don’t like that the fact that I don’t do crowds and attending functions and party cus it’s not my thing. I get panic attacks easily. Funny thing is, they’ ve actually witness some episodes. My anxiety always kicks in when I stay longer, when a function just starts , I’m good and all calm and even vibing sometimes, but after 2hours max. The anxiety kicks in and I make a move to leave. then I go greet my uncles and aunts to say my goodbyes, the next thing i will hear is” everyone is still here, why is it only you that always leaves first, you are too proud blah blah. How do one start to explain to a Nigerian that about mental illness called anxiety disorder and that people actually suffer from it? Especially illiterates like them? If only they know the amount of mental courage I have to summon to be there alone. I will exercise , meditate do all sorts just to prepare myself mentally, but still yet my anxiety gets the better of me. And my family is a very large one , I’m not even lying when I say no month goes by without someone celebrating something. I’m happy about the milestone been celebrated, but those occasions are always hell for me. And I can’t even boycott them. I must attend because I’m the first son of my mother, the first grandson from my mother’s side too. Sorry for the long post man, I just needed to vent. Thanks.

Stephen0mozzy:
Hehe... You're getting worked up for nothing my brother. It's something my mum can do also 😅 ... But she knows that I don't do crowds or event things.

You need to talk to her jare. Mama is right about na who you do for, go do for you. She understands the law of reciprocity, and she wants you to also invest in time for other people so that they can also turn up for you when you need people around you too.

Personally, I'd tell her that I don't like parties, but I can send her money to spray on my behalf, atleast that way if people nor come my own because of me, dem go come because of my mama.

But... Pick up the phone and call her, at 26 you're nearing a man now, let her know that you understand why she says it, but that you can't be present for all events. Mothers understand, and from what you say, I think you have a lovely mother too.

You are lucky to actually have family members that knows this about you and are okay with it . Mine that are always looking for faults already , has said that it is pride that is doing me. I’m really tired of extended family honestly.

kelechi50:
Take this bitter truth in human relationships, a married woman opened up to me about her marriage and what she is passing through with her husband.

She said if not for her kids, she is done with her husband.

But yet, when men say they don’t want to get married, women drop that “ don’t you want to have kids” line as a rebuttal.