₦airaland Forum

TonyeBarcanista:
OP I'm sure you are aware that Buhari is a 74years old man while Jonathan was in his late 50s when he wore that uniform.


I hope you get the point...

captleonerd:
you see a father hug his daughter and that is what comes to your mind? your mind is really sick. this is the lowest of lows for an unrepentant tribalistic wailer like you. I spit on your flat head

shift15:
It is obvious you don't know the difference between usage of Ms and Mrs.

You use Ms. when you suspect the person you are addressing is married but you are not sure about it.

shukuokukobambi:
Warris dis?

I beg this guys not to fall my hand. I have high hopes for this their agitations abeg

ugohemma:
Omenka the Tribal Bigot, dancing on treads against Biafra and igbos like a loose Cow whereas You can use your position and intellect to write articles reflecting what is happening in your home town, Benue.

Chosen1984:
Solidarity visit against Melaye

TonyeBarcanista:
I can relate to this. It is disheartening my brother.


I miss those days of arguing intellectually alongside you, Caseless, Donphilopus, Gbawe, Passingshot, NgeneUkwenu, Obiagelli etc against the Jonathanians... LOL

Funny that I'm now on the other side of the divide(NOT A JONATHANIAN THOUGH)

dearpreye:
Sure. The space is messed up actually.

The hate and tension brought about by the last elections are still palpable sha.

DropShot:
As if that was the only tyrannical act committed by Jona.

dearpreye:
Hmmm. This is what's called digging deep.

The President could as well use soldiers and police to prevent parliamentarians from sitting to even consider it.

REMEMBER JONATHAN DID IT TO REPS IN 2014, Heaven did not fall

Tolexander:
The fact is that many of our legislators know nothing about our Constitution.

Milonis:
Lol, brother...forgive me Lolzzz I will continue o

Beremx:
that part you quoted has got me laughing out loud

“abegi, Firefire, if you no want d package me dey go form epilepsy collect aleast one
mudu of garri”

“epilepsy ko electricity ni, guy no try dat
one, Mazi HungerBAD try dat one fail”

“d thing na luck na”

Milonis:
[b][/b] first of all, i'm sorry if this is the wrong section to post this. Apologies to the moderators

..........



[b]1.

On a particularly very sunny Friday, Firefire was sitting at home lamenting the economic situation of the country. It has been days since he had eaten a good meal. The enzymes in his stomach had no choice but to embark upon a compulsory dry fasting. Chai, it wasn’t easy.

He heard a knock on his door

“Who dey dia?”

“Its me” came the reply

“Your papa no gif u name wen dem born u abi?” Firefire hissed his question

“I have a name, i'm brother DDeliverer”

“Ehen wetin u want”

“I’m a jehovah’s witness……..”

“Nobody dey house” Mr. Firefire countered

“But…..but we’ve been talking” the voice outside protested

“I say nobody dey house, u no get ear ni, oya come dey go!”

The Jehovah witness guy had no choice but to walk away since the owner of the house wasn’t interested. Minutes later, another knock, heavy knock came again

“The kind thunder wey go fire you ehn….” Firefire screamed from inside

“Fire who? Abeg come open door jare na me Omenka”

Firefire reluctantly got up for it was his friend who has been around the neighbourhood for a while

“Guy why u dey sweat like dis?” he asked Omenka

“Sweat? You dey call dis one sweat? You neva see sweat”

Omenka removed his shirt and laid on the single six sprint bed. Firefire could literally see his ribs bare as if they were going to break out

“chai, Omenks, you escape Holocost ni?”

“na hunger o”

“chai, you sef?”
“Ehen me sef----abeg food dey dis house?”

“My brother even water sef no dey”

“And you are still here your mates are out there hustling buying Camries, mtchewww”

“Wetin you dey cheewww, better go back ur country sef before I report mek dem come deport you”

Both of them were hungry and fed up with the propaganda the national media houses keep chunking out now and then. Like everyone else, they haven’t seen the statistics on paper real since the ordinary man in the slumbs cannot be assured of “our daily bread”. Even the churches were affected by the dwindling economy as evidenced in offerings and tithes. It had become very rare to see people “sowing seeds” now and then during worship services and weddings too had become rare.

“How your girlfriend LadyF asked Omenka

“dat one don run away tey tey she talk say no be to suffer her mama born am” he informed

“shebi I warn you before”

“Warn ko warm ni, she don waka go back minna”

They talked about their misfortunes for a while

“my aunty, Beremx tell me say TonyeBarcanista the CNPP presidential candidate for Edo election dey give people free food o” Omenka informed

“na for disable and old people na, me sef hear dat one”

“abegi, Firefire, if you no want d package me dey go form epilepsy collect aleast one mudu of garri”

“epilepsy ko electricity ni, guy no try dat one, Mazi HungerBAD try dat one fail”

“d thing na luck na”

“shey na me dey tell u. you never hear say dat woman weh get sharp eyes dey dia abi?”

“which woman, guy?”

“Modath”

“chai. No wonder HungerBAD failed. Dat woman fit see fake sickness wallai. She go just disgrace person”

“before nko?”

“mek I just continue my black market fuel business”

“good, if not na pikin weh you fit born go wan bath you for market”

“abi o. mek I go watch Chelsea match”

“Chelsea still dey exist ni?”

“no, na slow motion I dey go watch, idiot”

“for London?

“No, na for Warri”

“dey go, ” Firefire dismissed him

“Blues for life, true Chelsea fan”

“Fan ko AC ni, oya dey go”[/b]

It wasn’t just these guys in the neighbourhood that were experiencing this hard time, the average youth in the country all round was not finding it reggae and blues.


[i][/i]to be continued

**** Note: this satire is a pure work of fiction and is not in any way intended to insult or disrespect any of the mentioned persons. If anyone finds it offensive, kindly notify me.

attacker321:
I think you should be very careful omenka.

I will not say more than this.

A word is enough for the wise.

vedaxcool:
beggar Senate president. .. chio shior na so to dey do fraud dey sweet unah to face the consequence unah dey beg.

modath:
& also cackle like coven creatures in their blasted whatsapp group (alleged) to congratulate themselves on one-upping "their enemies" ... Incredible..