kaboninc:


Maybe you should define what your drama means.

Let's even start with your home including your extended family or even with you.

How many males will want to marry?

Do you want to have children?

Then again, how do you view legacy even as a woman?

Are you interviewing me for Punch or SaharaReports?

coogar:


it depends on the circumstance.....
she can be forgiven....

I am shocked. you are actually the first man in this thread that say they will forgive

coogar:


any woman that tries such with me would be dead even before her pregnancy test becomes positive. cheating can be forgiven but paternity fraud? hell no!!!!

So you will forgive a cheating wife?

kaboninc:


Lol.
My dear, most divorced women or widows choose to remain single not because of any sillyy drama but conflict of interest.

Let me even ask you, what's the primary purpose for a man to marry sef?

what does conflict of interest cause? Drama, so what is the difference?

reason of being married is subjective to each person. Cos everyone will give different answers as everyone reason is not the same

babyosisi:


I have written a zillion times,I will not marry more than once
This is it for me
This is the only man I will be vulnerable with
It takes sweat to get to where we are today and God knows I don't have the energy to learn and adjust and adapt to a new man
Never
Only one time.
So I work at doing it constantly and so does he
God willing we are at a good place and I pray it stays that way

If you think you picked the right choice,God helping you and did all you can do,if the marriage fails,what else is there to do?
I will have nothing else to offer the next man
Why bother

I don't know why people have that mentality that if a divorced woman or widow has not remarried, it automatically means, no man is checking for her. Which is so not true at all

coogar:


please spare us....
stop playing the victim card. women in nigeria have suffered and yet the rate of paternity fraud concerning firstborns stand at 50%. who are nigerian women sleeping with in order to raise bastärds?

i don't understand why you are crying more than the bereaved. hubby is desperate, he needs a child. in his shoes, the OP would also the same. plenty of nigerian women have also slept with in-laws, gatemen, houseboys, etc to get the elusive first born.

it's what it is.....

Coogar, eiyah pele, which woman gives you another man's pregnancy to raise so i can console you?

kaboninc:


Sugar mummies? Yes they can.

But can you?

Can a woman who's say 70 years be so certain she'll get married to a man easily? How about a man who's 75 finding a woman (any woman) to marry?

yes she can quite frankly. finding a husband is not hard. finding the right husband is what is hard. Most divorced women or widowed choose to remain single not cos they can't find a husband but cos they don't want to deal with the drama(cos most men ARE drama queens). Men are not as scarce for any women of any age as you like to promote. it is that type of fear and scare tactic that have so many suffering women in Nigeria

samtol4:
Your advice is barbaric and not helpful ,will divorce solve this problem?if she remarry and the new hubby misbehave she will divorce again?

No there is nothing barbaric about my advice. you just mad cos it deflated your ego. If she remarries that is her own choice, but she deserves more than that so called husband. Marriage is not the beginning of her identity as a woman.

samtol4:
"divorce him kia kia "Do you have another husband for her?Be careful with this fire brigade advice .It is always easy to advise people to divorce.

I don't need to have a husband for her. A woman's happiness, identity, peace and joy is not solely about her having a husband. Especially one who has no respect for her by sleeping with very young sister to see if he can get her pregnant. He has done a lot of damages that I don't even know how you can repair it. She deserves way way way more than so called husband. it is not must to be Mrs.

smsshola:


My dear pls am not here to trade blame and am not blaming the lady in questions,if did not forgive and forget ar u advising her to leave her home?In my own opinion dt what I think it wl b better fo her...and dt is why I said let her set a trap fo them so she can av a physical incidence wh wl put both of them in misery. If u think leaving her home cos of ds is better toh dt is ur opinion but to me its better she face it and den make any necessary amendment.

Would you have same opinion if the OP was a guy?

kaboninc:


For both paragraphs with respect to the bold part...



I said this....


Hope you can read properly read and understand.

so are you stating if a woman divorces her husband she can't get another husband? young or old? cos she should just stay cos she has been used up and expired.

But it is ok for a man to leave cos he has so much option out there no matter his age? ok o Oga, I have heard you

smsshola:
I doubt d originality of this story...Well while I will not support d man and her sis act..cos ds act is a punishable offence but d op shu learn hw to forgive and forget.

My first advice wl b to the op herself,hw ar wl sure u ar playing ur role as d wife?While ds may not b enof rson fo ur hubby to sleep wt ur sis but I felt there is also the need fo u to examine ursef and c whr u av short coming nd correct it.

secondly I wl advice u to go home behave as if u av not seen anything,act well to ur hubby and start d trap journey its not going to b easy but I think u need more evidence I mean d physical one not jus d fone and whatsapp stuff. Set a trap fo them and c if they wl fall fo it...u may decide to announce a trip from ur office fo two days to a near by state; as u ar telling dem ds watch d rxn on their faces.

Or u can decide to come home any of d afternoon if ur hubby is d type dt eat at home.

if u making a journey make sure u av d spare keys to all d doors in ur home.

My dear we all av our individual cross to bear ds is urs carry it wt all ur might even wen u kno d crucifixion is closer dn u think but d truth is after d death u wl rise soon wt tears of gain so stay and watch ur home rebuilt tru ur own sweat.

Ori mi o!!! what did I just read? typical guy always shifting the blame on the woman(who is the victim). if the case was reverse, would you advice your fellow man to "forgive and forget"? would you question if he was playing his role as the husband for his wife to go and sleep with his younger brother to see if she could get pregnant? Women in Nigeria have sufferred. I ache for all the women in Nigeria if this is truly how men in Nigeria reason

kaboninc:


It appears you don't even know what your question is. It is a pity indeed.

I believe it is you who do not comprehend my simple question. it is stated there crystal clear

kaboninc:


You have issues with comprehension I must say. It is obvious you are a woman and certainly, you should think like a woman! (No apologies!) So bring in your emotional laden voice. It is allowed, only to an extent when by then the scales in your eyes would be off.

If the woman should sleep with her husband's brother, she better be wise. 'Good' if the brother can guaranty her security and financial satisfaction. Else, she is on a long thin. And if the man leaves her, I tell you, he has options because potential/possible and prospective ladies are just too many. Forgive me for bringing this...Oshiomole just got wedded to a young beautiful lady who is younger than most of his kids! How certain can you say about the opposite?

You make or seem to claim that there are men who would not stay with a lady who is having sex with the younger brother. Well, your claim is limited to what you know.

In all, our society brought in 'morals' to act as checks and balances and also guide us in our affairs. That why you say it is 'not good' for such things to happen. Also, it also depends on what we want in life. If the lady who opened this thread feels she can find happiness in divorce, so good for her. If she can also live with the husband and acknowledge her sister, good for her. Like someone rightly said, someone who is good today can be so terrible tomorrow and vice versa.

I am not a hypocrite. I tell you how it is because, it is just simply the truth.

Thanks for novel. I feel honored, but you still did not answer my question

Kaboninc, you are making this thread irritating. I bet if OP is a man stating his wife was sleeping with his younger brother cos she wanted to see if she could get pregnant. You will be telling the husband to run as far from that devilish woman ASAP. but when it is a wife dealing with cheating husband and you are saying "it is man's world" "men are above women" etc

She should not divorce if her husband is truly remorseful. Would you tell a fellow man to stay with a woman, who has had several sexual encounter with his younger brother that he is raising, if she is very remorseful of her behavior because she was looking for pregnancy?? I hate hypocrite with passion. The hypocrisy is this thread is killing me softly. Just like one idiiot was telling me "the success of a marriage falls on the woman ONLY and if it fails, it is all her fault"

Abeg I need panadol

OMG, I am speechless. This is like the worst way to betray someone ever. Two people whom you hold dearly to your heart, I don't even know how to advice you.

Since your emotions are all over the place now, the sights of both of them might make you do something stupid. Can you stay in a hotel for a wk? or find someone who will allow you to let you stay with them for at least a wk, so you can gather your thoughts. Just make up some type of lie to your husband as to why you are going away for a week. Don't say anything until you have gathered your thoughts.

I am with babyosis, I believe your husband has been sleeping with her since she was 14, it did not just happened. Which might explain why your sister is very promiscuous. God has a funny way of blessing and protecting us. Maybe this is the reason why you have not gotten pregnant. You should be on your knee and thanking God for not having any children with that disgusting pig. God sees this and that is why he has not given pregnancy.

I will advice you to talk to your sister. Don't do it in a confrontation manner, do not judge her nor be aggressive. Talk to her in a motherly way, trust me, she will spill all the beans to you. Just be prepared for what you will hear from her cos it might break you into pieces.

But divorce him kia kia. Do not let anyone try to guilt you to stay. You deserve better than that.

God Forbid bad thing. I don't want a husband I will cheat on

what the hell are still you doing there? and you are also so calm about it? are you waiting for him to fully penetrate her, damage her womb and send her to hospital before your eyes open?? You need to call the police on that pedophile or call your neighbors for jungle justice. if you want to save face cos it is more important than your child's well being, then you move out of that house ASAP.

I am more shocked at how calm you are about it and still living in that house. I will not curse you out cos I will assume you are still in shock from the discovery

when he gets too comfortable and starting farting around you. or does a bad stinker in the toilet and not use air freshner. disgusting lol. get comfortable but not that comfortable

Naija men in naija are the worst kisser ever. they want to choke you with their tongue. Or suck your lips so hard, it will go numb.

But Westernised naija men, can kiss well

no it is a myth. Funny thing is, I have very hyper children and they eat no sugar

you need to get yourself a self esteem and think highly of yourself. That man has no respect for you at all. And you have a son for God sake, what kind of example are you setting for him when his father is treating you like a piece of shiit. Do you want your son to be like mini daddy to other women? He also had sex with you 3 wks after CS . what if your incision had ripped and you started bleeding internally?

Forget about that guy, and work on your self worth and self esteem and start falling in love with yourself. How can you say you love him when you don't even love yourself? When you learn to love yourself and have high regard and standard for yourself, then the correct man will come your way. If you stay in self pity and have no love for you and not in love with yourself, even if you leave him, men like him will still manage to find you.

As a woman to a woman, please learn from your mistake, get away from him and start working on your self esteem and self worth, please love and fall in love with yourself.

PS., if you must have sex with him, please please use condom, you do not need anymore pregnancy in your life at this moment.

I hate stories that are sensationalized. I don't know why people are having heart attack over this story

How can she be an actress when she has not acted in any movie in several yrs? She formerly not currently.

Just make sure you send him with box of condom so he doesn't bring unwanted home for you.

lol dead

I blame the woman, not the man

soulglo:



I don't need to learn anything. I don't knock what anybody does as long as it is not criminal. Urinating on each other during sex is not common. In fact I don't even think it should be put on more than 2 on a freak scale of 1-10. There are a million other things more freaky. I am not saying that people don't do weird things but it is not common. Common means something is prevalent. MouthAction is common and most people will attempt anal sex but urinating on each other during sex is not prevalent. Stop watching porn if you're the kind of person who watches it and then think that's how real life works. Porn is a fantasy and of you cannot watch it for what it is then don't watch it. Next thing people will start saying that fisting and men with 11 inch cocks are common

ok madam researcher, if it makes you feel better

soulglo:



You are a liar. That's just the truth. It is not a new thing but it is certainly not common. How many men have you taken a piss on and how many have taken a piss on you. Like seriously people just talk crap simply because they can. You are either not married or are with a man who has no respect for your relationship if you truly feel that a woman who does not let her husband take a piss on her freaking body has the right to step out. Grow up little girl.


OP the next time he asks to urinate on you tell him that the house comes with a toilet and he should go use it. Next he might ask to do the #2 on you because he dreamed about it last night. Nonsense.

Honey, you have a lot to learn, you will be surprised what people do behind closed door. Especially innocent looking people

all you hypocrite need to stop condemning people. if you don't like it, fine, but don't condemn those who do. people who live in glass house shouldn't throw stone

PS, I never said for a woman to do something she is not comfortable with to keep her husband, i just said she should be open minded as his request is not outrageous.