₦airaland Forum

Funny but true

Originakalokalo:
If you actually had that dream,

The devil is trying to deceive you.


1. Stephen was able to pray for those stoning him as a result of his message.

Op is probably joking, but Stevin didn't pray for anybody. Stevin left Kristianity but Petra made up the story of the death of Stevin. Stevin was not stoned to death. The Doctufos has a proof.

Doctufos: Niklas 6:1-24

1. Now after Niklas had departed, Stevin also began to consider leaving the congregation of the deceivers, saying, shall it not befit me to be true to myself for once? 2. For I know that the things which we do are not right, deceiving the people. 3. Now when Stevin considered leaving the fellowship of the believers of Yeshua, he was sent by Petra to Antiok, saying, go and teach of Krista there. And Stevin departed, but was attacked by the disciples of Gumid, one who resisted the formation of more religions. 4. For Gumid had said that religion was the cause of all the confusion in the colony of Roma. 5. Now the disciples of Gumid came and attacked Stevin and the other krishtens who followed him. And they all fled, but Stevin alone was caught. And when Stevin saw a familiar face among the people, he said, save me O lawyer. 6. And he whom he spoke to said, I do not know you. And Stevin was beaten so much that he was wounded. And they left him on the ground. 7. Now the other Krishtens came and carried Stevin away to Jerusalem on a donkey. And Stevin had lost his consciousness. And Stevin opened his eyes after a whole day. 8. And Petra was glad, saying, I shall go and declare to the people that by their prayers you have awoken from the dead. And Stevin said, have you declared to the people that I died? 9. And Petra said, yes. For I have even told them that they should pray, maybe you shall come back to life. 10. And Stevin said, not every losing of consciousness is death O Petra. For if indeed I had died, I would have been conscious somewhere else, which is in the paradise of our god. 11. But I shall tell you the truth and the truth is that I was not conscious, therefore it was not death but fainting. 12. And Petra said, whichever it is, I will praise Zeusus Krista for restoring your soul. And Stevin said, O Petra, did you set me up to kill me? 13. For you indeed sent Sol and his men after me. For I saw him among the homos who beat me to unconsciousness. And I wondered, saying, why is this lawyer helping the people who beat me up? 14. For I have seen him here with you before, being your friend. 15. And Petra swore that he did not have a hand in it. And Petra welcomed Sol to his place, saying, why did you join the followers of Gumid to humiliate us? Are you not for us anymore? 16. And Sol said, let it be so for now. For by this shall your religion be made known in all places. For when one pretends to be what he is not and then comes back to what he is, many people shall be convinced, saying, indeed there was a divine touch. 17. So shall I do O Petra. For I, accepting to be a Krishten, go about to present myself as one who is against Krishtanite, shall suddenly turn around to Krishtanite and say, I was struck down by Yeshua. 18. And this shall bring many to believe me and our religion. For such were done in the books of history which you gave me. And in the language called Seriot which I have begun to learn, this is called karmish. 19. Now Petra was very glad when he heard it. And he said, as long as you shall soon turn around suddenly, I have granted you that you do whatever pleases you to us. 20. And this shall be a secret between you and I. 21. Now when Stevin heard their conversations, he was disappointed, saying, for the sake of bringing souls to Yeshua has Petra and Sol endangered my life. 22. And Stevin departed from Jerusalem by night and did not return anymore. 23. And Petra told the people to cease praying for the resurrection of Stevin. And he said, Stevin has died and has been buried outside the city, where Yeshua himself was killed, which is Gol-govatha. 24. And the people mourned Stevin for seven days, saying, we have lost a very great homo.

DoctorAlien:
Did you know that some people willingly gave themselves to other people to be their slaves? While slavery was not God's plan, it happened that it came into existence. The same is true of polygamy. The fact that God is not in support of maltreatment is attested to by His laying down rules guiding how slaves should be treated with love and kindness.

So if you are not in support of something bad and you have power to stop it, you wouldn't. Maybe that's the reason why our country is like this. Rich people here and there having the capacity to help the poor but they wouldn't.

DoctorAlien: Jephthah never did a human sacrifice with his daughter. She simply was devoted to the service of God all her life, and never married.

She was killed as a virgin to Yahweh.

[quote author=.]You liar, God killed Onan because he "masturbated" i.e. he slept with his brother's wife but spilled the seed on the ground. He refused to give his dead brother a child. Where did the Bible say that Onan was killed because of incest?[/quote]God didn't kill Onan, Yahweh and his people killed him. God wouldn't kill anybody for anything. If Onan had slept with his brother's wife, passing his spe-rm into her, then that would have been ince-st, but Onan avoided ince-st and Yahweh and his people killed him for not committing ince-st. Imagine that.

[quote author=.]Yes, God commanded the annihilation of wicked people. People who sacrifice their children to idols surely deserve judgment.[/quote]God never commanded people to kill others. Yahweh was the one who was commanding people to kill people and it's not because they killed their children but because they don't worship him. Yahweh was very intolerant. He was also a terrorist.

mmsen: If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die.
Deuteronomy 21:18-21

Please guy you have to pardon Yahweh for this one. He probably was high on weed when he made this particular law. Pls pardon him

DoctorAlien:
[s][/s]

Crap!

According to which objective moral standard are you moral?

According to God's moral standard.

DoctorAlien:
Prove that according to the Bible, all the things you listed above are fine.

When I present my arguments, I do so as a Christian, and not a religionist who maybe is trying to defend all of what is called religion. I argue for Christianity, and so you may do well not to mention Islam to me. For one, the whole of religion provides no single moral code. The religion I practise has as its absolute moral code the 10 Commandments, as they are found in Exodus 20:1-17 KJV. So, your claim that "religion provides the most useless moral framework" is meaningless.

Edited.

Yahweh the god of Christians gave laws to guide how slaves should be treated rather than abolishing slavery. If slavery isn't considered okay by Yahweh, why did he give laws about how it should be done.

Yahweh accepted that Jephthah should sacrifice his daughter to him. If murder isn't considered okay by Yahweh, why did he permit someone to sacrifice his daughter to him?

Onan didn't want to commit ince-st, but according to the bible, Yahweh had to kill him because he didn't want to commit ince-st. So to Yahweh, ince-st was moral.

Yahweh commanded genocides, killing for religious purposes, etc. All these things are morality to Yahweh. Imagine.

Thief Oledepo is a clown
Some sheeple will fall for this

If he can take the money to the orphanage, then I will take him serious. Paying it as tithe and offering in your church will only tantamount to giving it to yourself.

DoctorAlien:
You don't get it do you?

The issue is not whether I can do good acts without God; it is that without God:

1. There is nobody or group of persons to reveal what is objectively good. Whenever a person or group of persons says that a thing is good, they would be merely expressing their own opinion, which is by no means superior to any contrary opinion another person or group of persons might have.

2. There would be no objective reason to do good acts, or to avoid bad acts(that is if such things as "good" acts and "bad" acts can exist without God.)

Thus, if I throw God out of the picture, it would make no sense for me to say that I am doing good acts, or that I am a good person, because then I would have become "righteous in my own sight."

Not practising religion doesn't mean denial of God. For example, I practised Christianity earlier, but when I saw the true light of God, which is actually in science, I abandoned the religion and see God in science. That didn't make me a bad person. It actually made me more moral and thirsty to see the betterment of humanity.

MrOnPoint:
So many people suffer in this world because of the deeds of their former life?

I didn't specifically say so, but sometimes that could be possible.

luminouzzzzzz:
Lies!!!
I have seen them physically!!!!!

You have to surrender yourself for medical checkup because you're actually not able to distinguish your dreams from the physical states and that's a problem.

budaatum:
Hymn to Atum

To Atum, O god who is complete, I offer my praise.
O self-engendered one, you brought into being
cool-headed Shu and Tefnut of the water-flow,
wise and glorious two, born of your seed alone.
First of gods, first of the Ennead, well honored
in Heliopolis in times long gone, I call to you,
Atum, maker of the world, with all reverence.
‎
So long ago, O Atum, in the time before time,
you sat alone within the Nun, arisen ‎from the waters; all that now is, is of you, O god.
Atum, ancient before existence, great of name, great of might,whose will transcends the primordial calm,
lord you are of all you have created, lord of all
the distant lands, lord of all that lies beneath;
yours is a might unsurpassed, a being undiminished.‎

lol

correctguy101:
Otem come and see... budaATUM...

or is this you?

Na you make me hear ATUM first o.
Whois search enabled....

Lol, Budaatum even knew Atum before I did. I actually came across Atum just early 2016. I was surprised too when I first saw his moniker.

GoodMuyis:
You are too funny, Otem using another moniker to send me PM

I am not Budaatum and I hardly send people PMs.

All those occurrences you mention are natural occurrences. They are not happening because human beings do wrong things.

The poor enrich the rich. The lesser the number of sheeple in the world, the lesser the amount of money these pastors will have.

Op are you a christian? If you are a Christian then who put you in bondage such that you need to be delivered? Stop feeling that you are in bondage because you are actually not in bondage. If things aren't working well for you now, just continue, it will become better. Don't fall victim of scam.

Dantedasz:
Listen carefully I am not an atheist. Why do Christians on this forum have the erroneous notion that any one who shared a contrary view to you is an atheist or an enemy?

Back to your miracle story,I repeat 90% of pastors in Nigeria are business men. They are more interested in accumulation of wealth and performing fake miracles is part of the spellbinding circus effects to accumulate more wealth.
If spellbinder Oyakhilome actually could perform miracles,there are a lot of cripples by the road side. Why wait until the revival nights.
I repeat that Hausa man was planted by Oyakhilome!

you are 100% correct.

PrecisionFx:
This is why the black man have appeared as the poorest race in the world. Have u met the Hausa man before to know weda he's is a cripple U must be kidding me.

Same goes to fraudulent Miracles where someone will come out of the crowd and start shouting that they can see, how can a full grown man believe such an idiotic event.

Same goes with the people claiming deaf n dumb from birth will come our and start screaming that he can now speak....... And the supposed healed man who have never spoken or or heard any word before starts speaking English immediately, abeg who teach am English.



Wise up man there's no time.

Did I make this comment It sounds more like me talking cos I wouldn't have said more or less.

segunojo866:
I dreamt just now. I saw Allah and Jehovah trying to kill me because am an atheist

How can the two prisoners be trying to kill you, a freeman?

Hmm

DanseMacabre:
Lol. You really are a good writer, but I gotta ask: were all the dramatis personae in the Doctofus true-life, historical characters?

yes

Op, it's a normal thing to have such dream. You know why? The brain is garbage in garbage out. When I was a Christian, I also dream of rapture, great tribulation, witches coming after me, etc because those are the things occupying my brain. But when I discovered myself as Otem, I start to dream of sweet things and the good things that will happen in the future. It's all in the mind.

fememp:
please i dont know how to add my comment without using ur page sir. I am a pastor in a very small village and on and on i wish this people know about God and they are trying to but they dont seems to understand because they dont see. please i need help if anyone out there can offer to assist. i need a projector as far as possible. please ! How i wish i do it without asking about this but i cant seems to. recently i needed bike to take to remote area of which bike is a little beat costly now and i have just 30,000 to do but i have not been able to get with that amount. Saying this so that you wont think it scamming. my nomber 07038932579, or 07069390919. my mail fememp45@gmail.com. thank yo

Pray to god about it.

MrPresident1:
Hellfire is separation from God. It is a very hot place to be, hotter than fire. Describing it as hellfire is mercy

lol. It's not possible to be separated from God, because God is everything and everything is connected with God, no matter what. We are only manifesting God Almighty here on earth, we ain't separate from God, no matter our differences. We can't be judged eternally for temporal mistakes committed on earth.

MrPresident1:
Yeah

Do you agree there's no hell fire?

DanseMacabre:
You know, you could publish 'Doctofus' as a work of fiction - which I think it is - and make cool cash, as well as cult-followership?

Do you know that Anoni and Otem Erectus have discussed similar thing in the past? But since Otem Erectus did not fall into the temptation of calling true histories fictions to make earthly and material riches, I will also not fall into such temptation. I can't sell the history of the world for riches, for how shall our descendants be free from mind slavery if I do that?

Check the discussion of Anoni and Otem Erectus below:

Doctufos: Anoni 2: 17-23

17. And all the things of the past world remain intact in my brain. And with this shall I beat Sakspar of Anghloz to the art of story telling. And Nansi of Gana shall I beat to it also. For I have in me the happenings of more than seven hundred thousand years. And if I make them to fictions and sell them, I shall be the richest in the world.
18. But all these things do not interest me.
19. And Otem said, as for me, I see within my own brain the happenings of billions of years. From the time of the first great bang to the time of this present world. But I shall not make fictions of them, saying, mixing realities of the past up with exaggerations to make a fantastic fiction is not my desire.
20. For such shall fetch only earthly riches and gains.
21. And mixing up realities of the past with exaggerations and calling them the exact realities of the present world is not my desire. For so shall Eusebius of the homo sapiens life do. And his made-up stories shall look real for two thousand years. But when Otem Sapien shall come, he shall cast shadow of it.
22. But I Otem Erectus have come to write the history of the world exactly as it is from the first great bang till the present time. And I shall write also of the future time.
23. Now Anoni said, you are highly blessed with a high consciousness, being the consciousness of God. Now let us share ideas and I shall be happy.

Because prayers are just mere wishes and it's not all wishes that come to pass.

Doctufos
Proverbs of Otem
Chapter Fourteen
1. If a homo is patient, he shall see a snail revolve around the world.
2. Patience is a tool in the hand of the wise.
3. Patience is the preserver of life, for many who lack this tool have committed suicide.
4. The axe of patience can destroy any rock of problem.
5. The sword of patience can pierce through any drum of barrier.
6. Lack of patience has made many homos commit atrocity.
7. They steal, they kill and kidnap because they cannot be patient enough to get what they want.
8. An impatient soul will do anything bad to make money, but he who is patient will not be moved.
9. Patience is the companion of love. If you love a homo, you will be patient for him or her to get better.
10. Pressure makes things smaller, but they become weightier. Heat makes things scatter about, but they become dynamic. Therefore see some gains in your life when you are faced with intense pressure and heat.
11. A patient homo does not worry about what he does not have yet. He is content with what he has at the moment and he does not go about stealing what he does not have.
12. Those who commit suicide, if they had been patient, the things which they crave would come their way.
13. A tortoise is slow, but it is not lazy. It patiently continues its journey until it is where it should be.
14. Choose patience and other good things will follow

MrPresident1:
Hell right? Yeah

But His Father will not abandon him there

The Op is probably joking because there's no hell fire. The light of God Almighty who created Yahweh, Allah, Moloch, Mazda, Olorun etc have quenched the illusion of hell fire millions of years back.

DOCTUFOS
Proverbs of Otem 16: 1-17


Chapter Sixteen
1. Love is a key, it opens all closed doors.
2. All the good things in the world and the world itself should be loved, that is the only way to take care of the world and make it better.
3. Show love to people who don't show love to you.
4. Love is infectious and contagious.
5. Love can conquer hatred.
6. Love your land and do to it all that can make it better.
7. Those who love their nation shall study it and make it better, but those who hate it shall seek to take the resources in it to other lands in holy pilgrimage.
8. Those who love their own lands sought to make it a tourist attraction while they make your own land a terrorist attraction. They keep monuments in their lands and make you come there to see them.
9. Until you begin to love your land, your people and your race, your nation cannot develop.
10. The sign of the development of a nation is when the number of emmigrations for holy pilgrimage, medical treatments and vacations begin to reduce.
11. Many seek to go to Makka to become Al-haj, but no Rabite have considered coming to Negre to become Al-Negre. This is a sign of lack of love for your own land.
12. For those who love their lands shall attract tourists to it. For self-love attracts global love.
13. Look at yourself in the mirror daily and smile. Show love to yourself first, many will love you for so doing.
14. A wounded portion of the leg is wrapped in love and treated with care, so let all the affected parts of your immediate surroundings be taken care of.
15. Love the orphans and adopt one if you have the capacity to do so. Share your resources with the widow and her children.
16. All scribes who write the histories of their land are in love with their lands such that they took all the pains to write about it.
17. There is no selfishness in love

salvation101:
God dealt with men of different ages according to the level of revelation of himself He gave to them.

Will our ancestors who worship Ifa, Esu, Orunmila, Amadioha, Sango, Ogun etc also make the christian heaven? Remember the gospel actually started getting to Nigeria like say 300 years ago. Does it mean that all our ancestors from year whenever the world started to year 1700 are in the Christian's hell? Remember, they worshipped Esu, etc.