₦airaland Forum

Government should do this.....

Government should do that....

Who is "Government"?

amicable09

Sharp Bebe...

Amen.

obiaguna ... Thanks Sir

jashar

The money is worth it o... After brushing with Oral B...

Next thing is to start whistling

Moyarh:
Ive walked into an interview with full confidence before and one thing led to another and the interviewer asked me "what is your pastors name?" I couldnt remember at tht moment.

E gba mi o
E gba mi o
My people o...
This man o...

He has killed me o

He has killed me o...

He has killed me o ....

Am i laughing or crying ....

amicable09:
Thanks for the advice but truth is you can't predict the flow of an interview no matter how conversant you are with interview process. I have attended one too many and I can say no two interview situation are the same.

I have also heard of people who forgot their names right in front of their interviewer, it can be that bad. I've learnt one thing though that whether you are right or wrong don't lose your composure, nobody knows it all.

Somehow ... I was curious you have only just on thread since joining Nairaland for donkey years and... i come wonder wetin you write there... No vex biko.

You're very right with the bold part.

You finished not long ago... i'm 12B ....

Time seems to be forming Concorde jet these days... Infact, i didn't even know when two years flew past me... everything was like yesterday... The times have really changed but many people have not realized it.

I will be very happy when i peep into your book again to read you have decided to... take up some temporary jobs with job hunting on the side... That way, you won't have to worry about experience again... and you'll make some dough too...

Please... Don't do job hunting alone... Browse for other things to keep you busy... My next post will clarify why.

Cheers.

To Sponsor or Not To Sponsor

[quote author=amicable09=]Now tell me, " what is facism" lol ... Jesus! What! He said it again. .... I tire jare![/quote]If na me den ask these kind questions... I will reply without bathing an eyelid and when i'm through... the interviewer will feel like a small boy.

Shebi fascism is Italy's Benito Mussolini? Absolute rule by the state? Pre WW2 ... Current Affairs? Me that read newspapers everyday from cover to cover... No interviewer can try me...

But then... All these knowledge... All these things i know... How has it made me a millionaire?

People who don't even know the name of Buhari's wife are smiling to the bank everyday .... While i used to sit inside goat shed with cigar reeking guards waiting to be called for interview... What have i gained?

Forck Job Hunting!

All the folks wh are getting jobs... the artisans making millions.. Do they have two heads?

All those bank tests... multinationals tests... the people who passed the tests... do they have two heads?

What do they have that you don't have?

Next time (If there will be), don't cramp your head for what to say... talk confidently... and never be intimidated by those folks because... They are no better than you.

Dahveydson:
oweniwe, couldn't you have gotten hearing aid or something?

I used hearing aid in briefly in SS 2 (2006).

It was expensive then... different grades... the one my dad brought cost N150,000...

Now... the thing is like a mini microphone outside with speaker inside.... just like earpiece... but the sound goes directly into the ear drum.

In a quiet environment, it works fine.

But it has many cons...

It has an external microphone abi.... and it picks up every sound... If a Generator is running nearby, Okada are running up and down the street... children are screaming outside.... The microphone would pack all those sounds together and jam it into my ears

So i can't use it outdoor or in a noisy environment... only in very quiet place.

Secondly, after taking it off... it feels like i poured water into my ear... takes about two hours for the feeling to go away.... and to suppress that, the company that sold the hearing aid gave me a pack of drugs to be taking constantly... And i hardly take drugs... i mean, i only take drugs when necessary... not taking drugs everyday...

And finally, it comes with a kind of battery that is imported and can only be purchased from the company... When the last pack of battery got used up... the hearing aid somehow disappeared...

I don't wish to go back to wearing hearing aid again sha... The attention it generate to me is much... even okada men will be turning head to look at me.. other people will be looking as if i be person wey Dangote trailer Jam

If money comes in again... I'll look around for a good doctor who will fix everything once for all...

For now... Life goes on.

jashar:
Because I dey use close up

Your writing is quite good;more like a satire.

I've stopped using close up since when the excessive scharrine in it attempted to corrode my teeth..

#oralB

Others reasons i stopped job hunting....

Firstly... It wasn't working for me. I saw many people who couldn't even do things i can do being employed... The employers are very much aware i can get any job done... But they fear they won't b able to interact with me or... Put me in a position that will expose me to their visitors and customers... So... What's the use of apply for what you wont get at the end of the day... After expending so much time and resources?

Secondly.... Time factor... Recruitment process are often very long... I spent about 2 years job hunting.... If i had used those 2 years to hustle and save up cash, i would be far better off than i am right now... Howvere, hustling and saving hasn't been easy but i no longer face any humiliation or stigmatization from anybody.

Thirdly... All these so called "officials" who behave like demi-gods, i find their attitude very annoying... In an oil company i applied to, the h.r manager was British... He's very open and i could go see him anytime...

Later the British guy was promoted and a naija guy became HR... The guy behaves like a mixture of area boy and sango... Many other ones are like that...

The most annoying are the gate men and petit receptionists.... You can imagine a semi-literate security guard adressing me and other applicants around as if we are village children... They receptionist will be looking you with scorn as if you came to take her job.

At time came when i went for an interview invite and the small boy guard who is obviously just fresh out of secondary school nonchalantly shouted at me to "go away" because the oga had travelled..... I felt insulted...

Where is my dignity as a human being? How much more humiliation am a going to "eat" as i continue job hunting? when your dignity is continally trampled upon by low lifers... I had enough.

jashar:

Biko.... Why you shine teeth like this?

Moyarh:
You decided to just re strategise and map out something different to invest yourself in...

Thats it...

Writing.... To make moni from it in naija no easy

.... Will explain later

Sir Moyarh:

Na naija we dey o...

Things no easy at all

Check the front page and see news of ppl whose lives got cut short in horrible ways...

Even if one is unemployed, as far as person dey alive and healthy .... Ah , make e thank God.

The motivational speaker aspect.... I only talk when im very prepared... Otherwise, it'll be like I'm speaking hindi

So... Why do you think i decided to stop applying for corporate jobs?

To Be Certified or Not Be Certified

karleone:
I really love doing stuffs dat deals with data entry. Wish I could get a volunteer/part time/full time job in that aspect.


Anticipating your update.

Not yet home...

You cant make moni from data entry o... Cos d pay is mostly poor.

The highest I've seen is 40k in 2weeks by a very good guy...

And d gigs hardly last for long too.... At most a month and den u go bak home...

To keep body busy, its not bad sha... But if u want to earn top naira, look elsewhere

karleone:
Hilarious indeed, but inspiring.

OP, You've got good writing skills. Beautiful I must say.
The GNLD guy story got my ribs cracking. That guy really hypnotized you. I'm trying to imagine the confusion in your head when you saw GNLD HQ instead of ...........Test Centre Lekki or whatever the name is. Lol...




#Following thread

Not confused per se... D guy was insisting my test center was across d expressway... Even though i knew he was wrong, i just decided to check out d place to see for myself.

Maybe curiosity got me

amicable09:
Lol... In that case, get ready! And oh! at this point let me acknowledge your entries so far...

This is a beautifully scripted masterpiece!

It's not fiction o.

It's real me.

Rushing to hustle ...

Just got a call some ad hoc data entry work don land

See ya all in the evening

Don't forget to drop your comments.

Useless Tests & Interviews

Useless Tests & Interviews

About Me

amicable09:
Am I permitted to drop a comment here?

OP! This is funny... I love your memoir, trust I'll be following up on your updates.

Why not? Comments make my head swell...

jaybee3:
Choi see as you take catch me snooping

You a good writer bro...I was actually captivated by your story

Wetin man go do? ... As i dey now, nothing to do except... write...

So... All those guys who come online begging for job... den no dey try at all

At least, you can market yourself... make the world see what you can do... but to beg... its bad... to me though ... cos there are people who don't see anything wrong with begging

Oga Jaybee3 ... i salute you sir

God Punish GNLD

These words you're reading here are not fiction.... It's my real experiences


All Rights Reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, and recording otherwise without prior permission from the copyright owner.





Table of Contents
1. God Punish GNLD
2. About Me
3. Useless Interviews
4. To be Certified or Not be Certified
5. To Sponsor or Not To Sponsor
6. Never beg, Don’t Sell, Hustle for Your Money
7. Is There Really Money On The Net?
8. Come and Do ritual Money
9. Unreasonable Relations
10. Complicated, Simple stuffs
11. It’s not Christ Embassy, It’s Christ Scambassy
12. A Better Tomorrow


I may add more chapters if i get inspired to

Please Read Me

Sometimes when I go online, I see people create posts about how they have been unable to get a job for a year or two and they have become so tired of life to the point that they want to commit suicide. Then they start begging people to help them with even menial jobs or money to set up a kiosk so that they can ‘survive’. These are able bodied people who are graduates and have got skills.

What about me? Four years after school, I’ve got nothing concrete doing due to disadvantages that aren’t my fault. So why haven’t I gone online to beg strangers to give me job? How have I been surviving all the years? Why haven’t I committed suicide? I hope you’re getting my point now. I have gone four years without a stable means of income, yet some folks have barely gone a year and they get so freaked up to the point of running online to beg. That’s very sad and pathetic.

My purpose of writing this memoir is to encourage and give hope to the hopeless and jobless job hunting guys out there and other folks who have similar challenges I’m having too. This is not fiction. Everything here is 100% real. Somewhere along the line, I might sound somehow ‘hopeless’ but you should overlook that as it’s fairly normal when talking about tough situations one have gone through. The crux is… if I have endured all these without going bunkers, you too can pull through without breaking into pieces.

With due regards to Chapter 11… When James O. put the Facebook status about Scambassy's membership card, as someone who is always straightforward, I put up a short comment about my experience with the church. Becky later sent a P.M expressing shock that "such arangee miracles really exist". Then I felt an overwhelming desire to write something again. I promised her I'll write a memoir about it.

Initially, I didn't know where to start until I saw the two years old Keystone Bank thread on nairaland and began to recall my job hunting experiences. I thought about the GNLD guy and somehow compared him to Scambassy people. So I started typing. I felt very uneasy at first about typing out all these personal stuffs for the world to see but then I remembered Adam's being ashamed of himself before his creator... I mean, nothing hidden will remain hidden forever. We are all going to give account of how we lived our lives, everything we did and every thought we thought anyway. So I typed on and over time, the feeling of shame went away.

Many people think I'm weird. They don't understand why I came up with something, why I did this or didn't do that. Every time, I have to go an extra mile to make myself clear before people will understand. Sometimes I feel good to go the extra mile but some other time, I wonder if I'm from Jupiter, that's why folks can't understand simple things about me. So... I decided to put some of the facts here.
Cheers.

facheux:
No I don't believe Allah is a ruthless killer. But I do believe the lying pen of the scribes have altered the Bible.

I noticed in Bible God has sons by the tons. Even satan and his companions were sons of God.

Job 1:6

Now there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan came also among them.

Job 2:1

Again there was a day when the sons of God came to present themselves before the LORD, and Satan came also among them to present himself before the LORD.

Everything created by God belongs to God... Except there is disagreement and one party disown the other.

In your family for example, your father has many sons and they all bear your father's name. The first son has more privileges than the other sons but nonetheless, whether the eldest or the youngest.... You are all sons of your father

That is why some Christians may say Jesus is God. According to the Bible in the first passages of John, Jesus is the first creation of God (first born) and through him, all other things were created.

It's like bearing a common family name. If your grandfather's name is Abdullah.... And you also bear Abdullah... It doesn't mean you are your grandfather, you are a descendant of your grandfather ... That is why you are called Abdullah

So you too... Since you are also a creation of God... we were created in God's image... Just as Jesus is the son of God... You to... You are a son of God..... Except you deny God or refuse to accept the authority of the first son of God.

Is it clear to you now?

facheux:
Many a xtian have told me Jesus peace be upon him is God

Why are you being hypocritic as if it was only the Western world that engaged in slave trade?

The folks who ran the Trans-Slave trade... Aren't they moslems?

Weren't slaves traded by Moslem Arabs during the same period?

So what is your problem?