₦airaland Forum

Mondisweets:
Pics or you are lying

if i post the pixs, i will be banned.....!!...

But must u sing at the top of your voice...??... Dont you pity your lungs....??..

Well, morning don reach.... I don sleep.... I don wake..... Is there still any need for lullaby.....

[quote author=Mondisweets post=29426134][/quote]my ears are made of brass

Mondisweets:
You want to damage your ear drums? Okay challenge accepted

is your voice so loud....??....

Louder than a 1,200 watts woofer...??..

If its not above that, then my ears will gladly welcome your mondisweet voice

Mondisweets:
please just go to sleep abeg

come and sing lullaby for me

Mondisweets:
If feminism doesn't take into account family tell me why many feminists are married?

"feminism" is not written on women's head so you cant really say who is or who is not a feminist...

Even dos u are referring to... Though they may practice it at work or at social gatherings.... When at home, they're very traditional....

SAMBARRY:
Nollywood script writer I hail o

na true nau.... I swaarrr.... The rice one really pissed me off this morning


But if you need my writing services, just holla me... Ok ...

Mondisweets:
Feminist theory aims to understand gender inequality and focuses on gender politics, power relations, and sexuality. While providing a critique of these social and political relations, much of feminist theory also focuses on the promotion of women's rights and interests. Themes explored in feminist theory include discrimination, stereotyping, objectification (especially sexual objectification), oppression, and patriarchy.

thats where the problem is.... something... The most important thing was excluded... The family...!!...

....."politics, power relations, and sexuality. While providing a critique of these social and political relations, much of feminist theory also focuses on the promotion of women's rights and interests"...... There's nowhere the family is taken into consideration here, which could mean feminism is not meant to be even 'tried" at home...!!...


I now see why most women who try to apply feminism to the home front end up broken into pieces

Mondisweets:
Only on nairaland is the definition of feminism:- male bloodsucking vampires

so... How would you define feminism?

AnodaIT:
You better find a way to stop that before she begins to snatch another girl's bf or husband

E gbami oooo...... I don die....!!...

na the hypocrisy part i hate most... Say one thing, do another

a sister cousin had been complaining to me that one of dad's friends is "disturbing" her... I got fed up with her constant complaints and called dad to advise his friend to leave her alone... My dad did that... The man called cousin.... Come see how she dey beg the man make he no vex... She now open mouth tell me say, she dont care if he's married or not as far as he's giving her small changes.... The same gal who was complaining earlier ooo...

i go family side for new year say make i chop rice... An aunt say rice don finish say d one wey remain is reserved for "some people"... I say ok and waka o... Next morning, she come block my way dey halla say why i nor chop yesterday...

naija ladies i dey hail ooo

aisha2:
A woman who has been emotionally and totally mentally abused cannot be in the right state of mind to teach any lessons. She would have been told to stay fast and pray, everyone telling her that cannot be wrong she reasons. I would only blame her for not loving herself enough to remove herself from a bad situation, I wont totally blame her for a son turning out like his dad, it takes two. Child raising is not all on the woman

one thing i have observed about you... Is that you give up on challenges easily.... Na to pack and waka.... Every woman facing problem in marriage should pack abi? If she leave and d kids take after their father, whose fault is it? Women dont have their own palava too?

Abeg make we clap for you....!!..

KanwuliaJara:
Please, pity us o!
We are really suffering!
Nigerian marriages NA HELL!

Nigerian marriages are not hell ooo
just that the couple refuse to reach compromise over little issues...and those things later turn to big quarrels..

The key is nipping those little things when they crop up and not waving them off cos they tend to build up over time when ignored....

Is it American or British marriage that is sweet..??... Why then do they divorce anyhow...??.... Kate henshaw wey seperate from onyibo husband... Na naija marriage..??... What about Tai & Sheila sholarin...??... That woman (sheila) try... !!...

cococandy:
Your fear of marriage (from your posts )
so far can be summarized thus:
1) you're afraid of getting married to a
woman who won't tolerate your
cheating because it is in the blood and
you can't help it
2) you're afraid of actually doing your own house work. Your own family
home! Smh
3)you may not live a good life if you
marry a wife who doesn't kneek down
to greet you. What a funny feargrin In summary you don't have any
genuine fear. Just the regular spoiled nigerian dude who has been raised to think a dyck gives him extra priviledges and is growing up to realize that life is not really like that hence the fear to go into a kind of life he wasn't aware of until now. Times have changed. Get with the program or get left behind.

where did i say i will cheat on my wife..??... I said the basic reason why people cheat is cos they've been involved in multiple relationships in the past so find it hard to stay faithful after marriage... Does that mean i jump jump into every skirt i see...??... Maybe you didnt do psychology... There is something called "observation method" in psychology...Ok....!!...

I dont want to do house chore..??.. You make me laugh... I dont have any problem with that.... I do cook for myself and clean my house, ok...??... What am not cool with is a woman using that as excuse not to do her job... "darling, am having headache, pls do the cooking".... I say ok...go to the kitchen only to come out and see her watching kardeshians while tapping Z10.... I know you're just teasing me jor so i'll let it pass.....!!...

Little things like kneeling down does matter o.... Naija women and double dealings.... Do as i say but not as i do... Na una same women forming here go open mouth condemn a divorced lady say, "see your marriage have crash now, what is inside kneeling down that you cannot do for your husband/inlaws" ... .... If a guy refuse to open car door for you on a date... Or forgot ur birthday.... You will be screaming blue murder.....

i nor fit touch any lady who reason like that... Even with a very loooongg stick

cococandy:
I read that thread too. More men cussed the guy out than ladies. Are they feminists too?
What's with the obsession?

there's nothing wrong with a woman sticking to her faith. Everyone should be responsible for their own salvation. You won't be the one to stand for her on the great judgement day. So the choice of where and how to worship should be the exclusive right of every grown adult.

Problem is they should have been in agreement before marriage. Big mistake

All I can say is that you still have a lot of growing to do if you're the one that typed this.

Just get married first. Let's see how your family will make it without you helping out around the house. Except you have a wife who's willing to be a fulltime house wife. No extra job.
If not, you can't get away from house work except you're prepared for a crashed marriage:
Or you literally marry a mule or work horse. Literally.
you must have met a lot of disturbed ladies. Get them help:

you're the one who needs to loosen your rigid mentality.... There's nothing wrong with sticking with one's church....ok.... They should have agreed before marriage abi...??... I know your kind of ladies... Before marriage, they will acting soft and sweet... Which lady will jeopardize the prospect of getting married by refusing to go her fiance's church?..... It is only after the wedding that they will start those strong head-uncompromising rules.... There's nothing wrong with going to your spouse's church once in a blue moon.... But refusing to go to husband church at all even when he do visit your church sometimes if invited.... Maybe you don't know simple issues like that do crash marriages....

you're the one who need to grow up.... Every group have their own culture... Even the Americans you look up to have their culture.... When you get married to somebody, you have to jell and move alone with the person's cultural orientation too... Otherwise... Am sorry to say... The marriage wont last long.

On my side here, women dont knee down to greet men and neither do men postrate to greet elders, just bow a little.... Though i grew up in the west... After uni and nysc in the east, i went to abeokuta for a visit and was shocked to see ladies bending knees to greet and guys semi-postrating for elders.... Now my point is... Assuming you marry a yoruba guy and after wedding, you lock head and say "since kneeling down is not a part of my culture, i will not kneel down to greet my husband or inlaws again".... No matter how gentle/easy going the husband may be, he will not be happy if his mom comes to visit and you dont knee down to greet her... If you are an Idemili woman... You told your husband that they dont kill python in your village...and yet he killed a small python in the compound, will you be happy..??... Its not about kneeling down... Its about the culture... If you say u no wan kneel to greet ur husband, go marry onyibo..!!..

If i say ladies are hypocrites now, you will call me a chauvinist... You do know most ladies prefer men who can control them and yet you're forming "they are crazy ladies"... Naija women will say something and do the opposite... Am sure you're one of those strong willed ladies who will say they need a man who can control their wild part

armyofone:
Owen,

Good thing you said it yourself that you're planning to have three money spinning machines before you marry
May they never run dry.
We all pray for men with strong head on their shoulders
All hands must be on deck for marriage to be successful. If she is serving you BF/dinner all the time, make efforts to serve her too. And be understanding when she is tired.

Happy new year.

you made me all smiles...!!....

helping out with house chores is not a problem oo.... Its jus that... Some women, when they have seen that you can do those things well, they will start feinging tired, sick then stroll majestically around the house while u're washing.... Lemme searc out this thing....

Letter To My Uncaring Father-In- Law:

I thought you’d taken care of all the cultural know-how every lady should possess, that you’d instilled discipline in her. I believed you made hard work a priority and that all your daughters knew the drill, from sweeping the house and doing the laundry. I’ve been doing that myself all this years; I wash my clothes because Madam cannot use the washing machine.

I sweep my room, lay my bed and even
cook sometimes. Your daughter is always too busy with her phones to notice anything. You should come around unannounced one of these days; you’d think she’s the maid.
She’s always looking unappealing, like
one who needs sometime with the
Shrink.

My people are scared for me; especially my Mother until death took her.
Right in front of my younger sister I
scrubbed the floors of the house in our
second year and none of your daughters cared to help. Your ounger daughter was with us on
holidays then

www.nairaland.com/2066994/letter-uncaring-father-in-law

thats what i mean.... Once she know you can do those things, she will start misbehaving

LordReed:
But the fact remains that we must make our own way in the world whether others are successful or not. Which do you choose success or failure?

its not a matter of choice or choosing o.... Its a matter of always having what your husband/wife want in you to make him/her stay with you...

If one, for whatever reason, run out of what is keeping one's marriage going, you never know how the husband/wife will react.... What they say is often times different from what they will do if the unfortunate happens.

LordReed:
You just showed yourself, it's not marriage you dislike it's actually women. Now all you've been writing begins to tie together.

maybe.... Not that i hate women.... There's some women that're my role models, but they're only elderly women above 50.... The younger ladies, i dont trust. I kinda see most women as being same.... After seeing a seeming loyal, loving and caring wife of over 15yrs sell off an uncle's house behind his back after he was laid of.... If you tell me there're women who stay with a man without money... I will just scoof....

That why i pity guys getting married on monthly salary.... If i dont have 3 business generating steady income for me, i nor dey marry be dat.... The thought that a wife will pack, sleep around or become rude/look down on you if you cant meet her "requirements" alone is enough to make any man miserable...

Arsenate:
no
actually, she couldn't handle reality; she just couldn't handle the truth.

Thank you sir....

No be today dem dey prefer lies to the truth

dinachi:
cc: oluwaseunla; LordReed; bukatyne; aisha2,

leave them feminists... Their mata don tire me... Anytime a man-woman case comes up, even if its the woman that's at fault, they will defend the woman and blame the man.... A girl dupes a guy of N6,000... The girl is smart while the guy is a broke azz maga.... "what is N6,000"??.... But if you look into those heavy bags they carry about, they dont even have N200 inside.... They dont know what they're doing.

A newly married lady insist she will not go to her husband's church at all even for harvest or special programs.... Whereas, the husband married her in her church.... If we got married in your church, then why cant you come to my church even for harvest? If the husband get angry over that... He's a kid.... He's not ready for marriage... He has no patience with his wife..... Bla bla bla...

No really committed husband will see his wife as a slave... Even the seemingly heavy handed ones.... The reason why men put up stony, strong faces at home is because if they start helping out with chores, the wife will start looking down on them and start their shabbish mentality.... The moment a man begin to treat his wife as equal, that wife will start giving all manners of excuse why she cannot cook, sweep or wash again.... If the husband start complaining, it the same women that will open mouth and say he cannot control his wife...!!...

That reminds me... If you ask ladies what qualities she want in a man,... You know what they will say.... "i want a man who can control and dominate me, i cant date a man who cannot control me.... I want a man who is proactive and can protect me.... I want a big, tall guy...."

so... Why are women complaining about master-servant relationship....??... Is that not what they wanted...??... You want a man who can dominate and control you.... If he dominate and control you, he's being wicked and heavy handed.... If he treat you as his equal, he is not "man enough"

its ok for a wife to hit and slap her husband if she's angry... But if the man retalitate, he's a monster... "no real man beats a woman"... what do you call that kind of reasoning/mentality..

For a wife to kneel down and greet her husband/inlaw is master-slave marriage... What are her duties as a wife? Ok... Maybe it is the husband that should be kneeling down to greet his wife

aisha2:
Please don't get married, you will be doing the world a favor.

i never said i wont get married. I said i am not really keen about it unlike most pple that eargerly look forward to saying "i do" ....!!...

bukatyne:
What sweet my belle for This post na say two people work tomake it work and one person drops the ball, all will not be well

The truth is that if both parties work at it, there is about 90% chance of success

such statement coming from a lady.....
na una dey optimistic pass

Am not suprised

aisha2:
I don't blame the poster, there are so many bad stories sadly those with good experiences hardly speak out because speaking about great marriages doesnt seem popular.

you're right.... People talk more about marriage issues.... All over the family section, its same thing.... Bad news sells.

If you ever decide to get married, Let it be for the right reasons, not because she can cook or kneels down to greet your mother and does eye service any body can do that, marry someone who mentally challenges you, who is real and whose crap you can put up with

Be the right man. Dont go into the marriage with a lord and slave mentality, it will surely cause friction.

I disagree with this one 100 %.....
People marry because of what the other person has to offer.... Even you... Can you marry a man who has nothing to offer you? If i marry a lady because i want her to be cooking my breakfast before i go to work and set supper before me when i come back, what is wrong with that....??...

If she wake up one day and say she can't be preparing my breakfast/supper again cos she's "too busy", should i start eating in mama put when i have a wife at home.....??.. she's looking for trouble....!!...

Why should i put up with my spouse's bad habits or craps when it has potential to be "chasing" me away from the house...??... Habits that your spouse dont like are meant to be done away with, not tolerated.... A time will come when you cannot tolerate again and will just explode......!!...

Its not about lord-servant marriage... Its about the roles/duties you have to perform to keep the marriage going.... If a wife's kneeling down every morning to greet her husband will make him happy, kini big deal....??..

Dont marry when you have it in mind to cheat.

like i said earlier, na inside blood cheating dey.... Its not intentional.... How do you expect a man or lady who have had over 20 girlfriends/boyfriends before getting married to stay faithful in marriage....??... It will be very hard to stop... Just like drug addiction....

Marry a wife who believes in sharing. Who values you more than she values money.

eh eh.... For find that kind woman.... Man go waka waka tire. Money is as important as love in marriage.... "I Love You" doesnt pay bills.... What do you expect me to have that will make my wife value me more than money...??... Big Prieck....??...

I have seen many scenarios where a man who "have money" and "lovely, caring wife" loses his job and after a year or two, the wife packs away

thats why i said i don't envy guys who marry on monthly salary.... If sack letter enter.... Even if the wife is earning 150k monthly, she will never be happy to be the the one paying the bills.... You know naija women nau.... Small time she will start grumbling....!!....

LordReed:
That kind of thinking is just the gateway to problem down the road because the focus becomes money. Money is like grease while the two people involved are like gears in a machine..... but are the two people involved "set"?

Bros Lordreed, abegi which kain question be dis nau?

A couple spent millions on their wedding and you're asking if they're set....

Which couple would spend so much to marry when they're not "set"? Na play den organize?

They're set jor.... Just that after the wedding.... Euphoria wears off.... Boring routines sets in.... They start noticing "flaws" in each other (of course, those flaws are usually hidden during courtship).... Gradually, the screws holding the marriage together start loosening....

LordReed:
LoL! So spending millions is now equal to good preparation for marriage?

you don't know?

there are people who buy shares and properties for their unborn children... What do you call that?

Some People think the amount of money you spend on your wedding.... You will be setting standard that others will follow...

For example, those who go to Dubai, france, london to wed... thats it... they're setting "standards"....!!..

goofyone; Caveatemptor;

fortunately or unfortunately..... Just like going to school, getting a job, having childre..... Marriage is seen as one of life's "exams" we all have to sit for.... And like a typically hard exam, not everybody will pass it.

If one don't attempt it, one will be seen as a failure....

Why i said "unfortunately" is that what one score in marriage "exam" is hardly determined by one's level of preparedness. Some who are not prepared for marriage do score reasonable marks..... While some would spend hundred millions on wedding only for the marriage to fail after a year.... Even six months sef...

Thats life for you o darrrliiinngg.......!!...

SAMBARRY:
It's also a common knowledge that

what do u really mean by dat?

cococandy:
1) keep your pants zipped. You can have self control if you want to. You own the dyck. it doesn't own you!

its not really about me, but what i have seen about marriage...

With regards to the above, i am sure you know some guys who change girlfriends every four months.... In the uni, there are folks who change boyfriend/girlfriend every semester....

Now if someone like that gets married, what probability is it that he will stay faithful to his wife? E don enter blood o..... For someone who have had over 20 girlfriends to stay faithful to one wife after marriage.... That will be a miracle......!!...

And ....bia.... Why did u excuse the ladies?... Na only men get wondering dyke? Married Women nor dey carry den kpekus waka waka too? After one company conference, i went to visit a friend lodge in the hotel.... What i saw baffled me... The pple randomely match make demselves... Married women plenty.... All a man had to do is just to hold any woman's hand and lead her to his room..... Infact, to me, married women are as unfaithful as men jor... Just that they keep it secret... She will dress up in blouse.... "i am going to the market".... Disappear to one alinco's crib.... go do small shopping... Come back home forming holy mary

marriage is the union of opposites.... Hot temper man nor dey marry hot temper woman..... Fat nor dey marry fat..... Same way, cheater nor dey marry cheater.... Bad nor dey marry bad

You cant marry someone that is every way like you.... If you are a good good, you will marry bad bad

though there may be some exceptions but most are like that.....!!...

[quote author=oluwaseunla post=29351474][/quote]

baby124:
Go and marry and stop rationalizing and convincing yourself not to get married.

Na by force?

If i go and marry and my wife start nagging, na you go bear my headache?

You wan push me inside wahala ?

abasi mbok ....!!...

oluwaseunla:
You said you don't envy them, but I think each person can determine which of the three groups you listed, he/she wants his/her marriage to belong.

ehn?? If i hear.....

So going by your logic, those whose marriages failed choosed to go the failed road ??

Who knows tomorrow? If you get married today, do you know if your sexually active wife will turn frigid after childbirth? Do you know how your wife will treat her inlaws?

I know a wife who sold off her husband's house after he lost his job.... Now your wife is all smiles, gentle and submissive cos you're giving her money regularly.... If you're out of work for over 6months, do you know what she will turn into?

What if you discover some unsavoury secrets about your spouse's past after getting married and regrets ever marrying him/her? How will the house be like? Always tensed..... The spouse will not even know wetin jam am....

Abeg... You can't say how long a marriage will last, its not by choice, but by neccessity..... One must always having "cards to "play" cos them moment you run out of what is making your spouse stay with you. If have nothing to offer again, even if your marriage is 30yrs old, OYO will be your second name

no oofeinse meant

oluwaseunla:
Op, just curious. Did every marriage you've seen follow the pattern you laid out up there?

65% of them follow that pattern.... 20% are are just tolerating thenselves cos they're "too old" to seperate.... its only 15% i can say are truely successful