₦airaland Forum

Crazy human being! Lol

timpaker: My boss hands.... he scratches his balls every second and shake hands with me for a job well done. At times i don't wanna shake him but if i don't i get the dreaded hug

Lol no mind them. So u did 'shot put'?

E<R>F:

Sorry ooh, that was a one chance mission...

Girls can form. . Lol.

We only did shut put in school then. . . Ti was fun y'knw

Why u smilling na

abiki:

Here is my experience. Today I left my house so early and in a hurry so as not to miss the first bus to lagos that I forgot to visit the toilet. About 4hours into the journey the thing came down on my like a pregnant woman in labour. Sitting right next to me was this Damsel whom I have been chatting with from the time the bus left the park. Hey without minding the girl I had to beg the driver to stop! I announced it so that the passangers will know how serious it was. I was sweating! I tried to hold even my fart because who never can tell, it might come out with a lump of shit. Hey I ran into the bush like a wild goose. As soon as I was done, my eyes cleared. Believe me, the girl did not talk to me again till we got to lag. But hey, who cares? I was gonna die!

Drop your experience

3. MATURITY
Imagine a year1 student in the university in love with another year1 student in the same department and they decide to get married. Here is where age comes in. Age and mental maturity. O yes! Age is not just a number! Age has a lot to do with experience and maturity. Marriage is not a bed of roses. You will hear your wife fart! Ugly, smelly fart and you will still love her! A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished!

4. SECURITY
Can he take care of my bills? Does he live with his parents? Is he a mummy's pet? Does he have any source of income? Can he send my kids to school? Can he protect me? And most of all is he a man or a guy or a boy or a baby? Financial security!!! The ultimate!

5. FLAWS
We all have our flaws. Our partner must live with those of our flaws that we cannot change. Most people get angry easily. I dnt want to spend time here

6. TEMPERAMENT
If by now you don't know you temperament then you're a learner. You must know your temperament and its blend. Every human on earth must have an indept study of any book on temperament.

7. MISSING RIB
There is no such thing as 'missing rib'. In this world, there are about 500men that have the qualities you want in a man. Anyone of these 500men can be your husband (talking to the ladies). Same with the guys. Don't limit your search to one man. Look out, don't be promiscuous.

Have a lot to say. But in a nut shell. Thanks. Love Doctor.

Ignorance of these 7 things have often resulted to heartbreak. If you have more, you can share so that I will also learn (and add to my collections).

1. DO NOT FALL IN LOVE
'Fall' is a negative word. You hear people often say 'I fell in love'. Months later they are in agony of heartbreak. Its a simple explanation. They fell and broke their heart. Love at first sight will varnish if you take a second look. So you don't fall in love; you grow in love.

2. COMPATIBILITY
Two people that must be in love must be compatible in at least these five places
(A) spiritual compatibility
Ever wonder why some churches maintain that members MUST co-marry? Imagine Jehovah Witness man marrying Lord's chosen. Imagine Deeper life man marrying Christ Embassy (trowser freak) lady. They will always clash in religious matters.

(B) mental compatibility
Imagine a trader in Onitsha main market getting married to a barrister lady. He can't speak good english and will always embarrass her among her colleagues. They are in two different realms mentally. U know what I mean.

(C) physical compatibility
Have you seen Aki's wife? Ever wondered why he had to go for a tall girl? If not, they will give birth to the world's shorttest kids. If you are ugly, please marry a fine partner (to make the world a better place)

(D) sexual compatibility
The recent caption I saw on the news paper a week ago 'man sues wife over sex starvation'. This is the secret of infidelity in marriage. When the man cannot satisfy his wife and vise versam

(E)emotional compatibility
Some people are just emotionally dead. They care about you but they may never tell their wife how much they love them. They may never even praise their wives in public. Watch out for the signs

84 views and its already on front page! Gush! Mod carry that tin go back page.


On a second tot, wetim him do im mama wey she wan kil am? *money rituals*

My friend sir, there's no sentimental attachment to this my letter.

I am certainly not encouraginging adultery or anything. All am saying is that Ese Walter was not kidnapped to the hotel. For the love of Mike, she was there for a whole week! Guilt you say huh? Well there could have bee other ways to let of her guilt. If you know what I mean.....

You know, all her actions seem like 'payback' or set up to me

(Flips my pen)
Dear Miss Ese,
Praises fill my heart as I write to you today. I don't know what you're passing through right now or how you feel but I sure know that Gods grace is all you need.
I just hope you're sitted write now with a cup of cold water in your hand,waiting for the next thing to do.

Ofcourse by now, you have realised the gravity of your actions and somehow you've been imagining what your life would have been if you had considered the meaning of the word 'as silent as the grave' at the onset.

Atleast I know for sure that your life wouldn't have been any better if you had kept silent.
You did the right thing (at least that is what the media and lots of people have said to you in these past few days.

The big pastor must have dared the lion when he thought he could treat you like any of those 'slots' by hitting

On you and running away. I know you warned him. I can imagine you telling him on phone one day
"I will deal with you. You think you can use and dump me like one of those girs? Well, guess what? You missed"

Wait a minute Ese, how did it all start huh? Lemme guess, he met you oneday at the bank and said "hey my name is Biodun and am a business man"

Oh I thought not. Ofcourse you knew he was a pastor.......am man off God...oh sorry a man of God.

One week in a hotel? Whew!!! He tired you hands and feet for one whole long week and 'abused' you sexually.

We all understand. Or maybe you actually opened your legs to him volutarily all along. If so then, why did you use the word 'abuse'?

What's your point here? You know what I think? All your rantings and actings are only but the fury of a woman who is scorned of which hell hath no.

What did you ask him to do for you and he refused? Money, property? Position in 'his' church?

You're a devil. So carlous and wicked in the extreme!

You shouldn't have been too drastic in an offence of that nature.

Or do you think you would have been failing in you duty to the public if you hadn't exposed him?

You had no duty to the public because no one knew you. But you have now.
How do you feel? You want to ruin him? You see, you are going down too!

Now what do you expect of him? To come out this sunday in front of his congrgation to say

"Hey Church! I hereby confirm everything (well almost, thankfully) that's been making the rounds.

Yes, I did have an affair with Easey.

I am accountable first to God and we have settled that.

Now if any of you feels like they can't stand to watch me preach again, please leave quietly. I quite understand"

Well he's never gonna do that.

You want to be the hero huh? Well congrats you are now.

No one is perfect. It takes only a man who has passed through boundage to feel what this pastor feels.

That man is me. I have been there once.

We all had our 'first time' but some people never come out, some do.

Guess what Ese, you still have a chance to stop this madness.

Walk away now that you can. Just walk.

Already you're feeling guilty. Blaming yourself and you friends who gave you that idea.

You God is hailing you? Well, guess what? God is not interested! He sees us all. He's waiting for us on 'that Day'.

I emphatically tell you that God will judge us all. You should have left this man with his God.

Maybe you're the scape goat.

I know what you think, pastor biodun paid me to write to you? Lol he didn't.

I'm just not happy with the way you handled things that's all. God bless you

Yours Faithfully
A Nairalander.