greatopec: Good day Nairalanders I will be 40 on Oct 19 this year and I am scared the kind of life I have always desired may not be achievable. Let me list these things that worries me so that you can probably advise me or assist me in achieving any of them. 1) By 40 I had wished I will be living in my house with cars in my garage Current situation- I am a salary earner who eagerly waits for the salary to drop before my family can eat conveniently every month. 2)I love cars and driving. Was thinking of getting a good car for Uber business. Current situation- I have not been able to gather enough money to buy a car for Uber or personal use. 3)Seeking greener pasture abroad. Current situation- I have not been able to have enough disposable income to even get a passport to start with in the first place. 4)Self development. I had interest in programming so I decided to learn coding and all that. I started with free code camp and also this thread by iyenimofe on nairaland has been so helpful https://www.nairaland.com/1383359/learn-web-design-live-nairaland/6#17571611 The issue I have progressing is that of enough data subscription to watch more tutorials. 5)Acquisition of at least Masters. I have a passion for learning and self development but I struggled to have my HND with distinction. Gathering enough funds to start my masters program has been an uphill task.
Little about my background I am an HND graduate I have a sister who am responsible for also. I have a wife and two kids. I work 8-5weekdays
Moral of the story, always make sure you have created multiple sources of income before thinking of getting married
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Kamdil: stop spewing gibberish. Everyone in Africa came from an idolatry background. To some it maybe amadioha,others can be snake,and all that. Every danm African man came from a background where their great grand parents were idol worshippers this is a known truth. The fact that we the present new generation offsprings embraced Christianity do to civilization, does not in anyway erase that fact.
If you are lucky, before you were born maybe your father,or great grand father embraced Christianity and broke that worship doesn't mean it never existed,but you were only born after it had been broken before your birth.
So stop your ignorance and accept that fact.
What matters now is this, does the person you want to marry still towing the part of his/her ancestors,if no, then judging him/her on account of his/her background is wrong because you have yours too
Wow!!! I am so amazed to see all these kind of comments..Africans still have a long way to go!.. I need to pray harder man..only GOD knows the kind of ancestral spirit I am battling with..
How can people be so comfortable to admit that worshipping idols is cool!!
SageMK: Your parents are perfectly okay with you staying with them. I don't see the need to rush out. Man invest that money. Resist the temptation to “be a man” in the guise of spending & living lavishly.
This life is a solo race. Move out when you're comfortable financially.
Alexgman1: NAIRALANDERS, There is this very pretty fair lady who lives nearby and always comes to my house to jist, watch DSTV, sometimes play scrabble & chess. As we attend thesame church.
But she doesnt reject drink or food each time i ask or offer to entertain her. Infact she now enters my kitchen freely.
How do I politely stop or reduce her almost everyday visitation? (because of food).
This pandemic is hitting me hard & its not getting funny.
covid2019: As noted elsewhere in my previous thread: https://www.nairaland.com/5829221/build-small-house-now-keep, I have been seriously considering building a house, but after a few inquiries and inspections, I discovered that I could only afford a land and build in remote area in my state.
The effect is that my neighbours and everyone in my vicinity will be of low income or lower middle class. This effect is seen in churches, schools etc around there too.
Personally, I don't care about this but my elder brother will not allow me to rest. According to him, "Nigga, you like village too much, leave that place," he is of the opinion that I should even leave the state entirely-- he is New York based anyway.
NOW, these thoughts have been in my subconscious mind, having subliminal effects on me.
Considering, that this great forum has people from all walks of life, I have decided to bring this issue here: TO WHAT EXTENT DOES ONE'S RESIDENT ENVIRONMENT AFFECT HIM especially with regard to finance.
Should I forget about building now-- since I can only afford to build in a remote area now-- and rent in a highbrow, upscale area?
What are the advantages or disadvantages of living among the rich.
Thanks.
My brother, environment matters a lot..consider your children
star4ever: I have a 42 year old brother who for over 18 years has been on hard drugs. He started this habit while in secondary school and couldn't finish tertiary education for same reason. Efforts made by the family to stop him from substance abuse and rehabilitate him at several occasions failed. Each time such effort is made, he recovers after a while but returns to the habit. Currently, he has become mentally deranged and there seems to be no solution at sight.
He has been admitted to different psychiatric hospitals on two occasions. At both times, he was treated and confirmed fit and sound to return to the society. The moment he was discharged, he quickly went back to his old ways and all the resources spent went into the drain. In one of the occasions, we were strongly advised to engage him as joblessness was one of the greatest problem causing the abuse. We got him engaged by securing a fantastic job which he also left after a week of working there. Other meaningful efforts geared towards engaging him to enable him to become occupied and start earning a living as a man also didn’t work out.
We have organised prayer sessions by powerful men of God, nothing has happened yet. I do want to sound like someone without faith. I strongly believe that our able God will make things beautiful at His time. However, the situation has gone out of control and we need to act fast.
These, amongst many, are some of the interventions already done by the family and we cannot fold our arms and watch people mock us in shame every day due to his abnormal activities in the community.
Now what he does is forcefully, take money from our aged mum, sell any family property at sight in exchange for money to buy his drugs. Beat my mum up at any slightest refusal to give him money. He has been jailed many times for committing several offences related to this habit, yet the problem persists. Maybe we have not applied the best approach?
I am calling on fellow Nairalanders to assist with solutions. I believe there are some of us here who may have experienced this problem in one way or the other, or have an advise to give to solve this lingering painful situation. Your personal or professional experience (s) may go a long way in salvaging this situation for us.
I believe a problem shared is a problem solved.
Just change your mom's environment..he has it at the back of his mind that your mom will always be there..
dulux07: God, why do africans reason like this. Why do we always believe every nonsense and act as the victim? Even the so-called literate spew nonsense .
Other countries are busy on research and development, You guys are ranting about one irrelevant 5g tech. No wonder the continent is backward
jayfolarin: The comments came during a debate on the French TV channel LCI, the BBC reported. Camille Locht, head of research at the Inserm health research group, had mentioned conducting a trial of the BCG vaccine in Europe and Australia.
“If I can be provocative,” responded Jean-Paul Mira, head of intensive care at Cochin Hospital in Paris, “shouldn’t we be doing this study in Africa, where there are no masks, no treatments, no resuscitation?”
“A bit like as it is done elsewhere for some studies on AIDS,” the doctor added, according to the report.
“In prostitutes, we try things because we know that they are highly exposed and that they do not protect themselves.”
Mira had earlier suggested that the study might not work as planned on health care workers in Europe and Australia, because they have access to personal protective equipment, guarding them from the contagion.
“You are right,” Locht responded.
Two former soccer players in Africa blasted the doctors for their comments.
“It is totally inconceivable we keep on cautioning this,” Didier Drogba tweeted. “Africa isn’t a testing lab. I would like to vividly denounce those demeaning, false and most of all deeply racist words.”
“Africa is not your playing ground,” Samuel Eto’o wrote on Instagram.
Most people falsely misconstrue Alpha males to be irresponsible men filled with arrogance and are disrespectful towards women. They misconstrue Alpha males with with cocky males.
Many also misconstrue guys that are body builders with nice physique to be alpha males. Some misconstrue wealthy and fierce looking men as alpha males. Some even misconstrue womanizers, famous or people of high status to be alpha males. While some alpha males may belong to the aforementioned groups, not all those groups are alpha males.
Who Is An Alpha Male? An Alpha male is the real man. He is a man's man and a warrior. He is very confident and a stand-up guy. Irrespective of what you call him, he is a leader. He is the guy others look up to for motivation, inspiration, and often with a hint of jealousy. He is a man that knows what he wants, confident of himself and can't be tossed around. The alpha male knows his power as a man and doesn't use it as tool for oppression. He can't be manipulated by women, and this makes him attracted to women. He's the kind of man every woman want. The Alpha male is mentally and emotionally strong but kind. He is very Confident, yet humble, he assertive, yet gentle at times. He is very powerful, yet calm and tempered. He has self worth yet doesn't proud! He is the kind of man every man should be. He is the kind of man that every woman crave for and hold in high esteem.
Who Is A Beta Male? Beta males are men that always seek to fit in. They are the typical human pleasers with little or no opinion. Beta males in relationship and marriages are the typical Mr Nice Guys that always bury their thought, desire and want so as not to offend their partners. They are typical followers that always seek to blend with the society. They are not stand alone guys as they are easily manipulated. Because of these traits, Beta males are often disrespected and controlled by their partners, the society, their church, families etcetera.
ALPHA MALES VS BETA MALES
1. In Relationship Alpha males go for who and what they want, and are men with standards. When their partners err, they are not afraid to speak their mind, address the problem and speak up when the boundaries they set are crossed. They inform their partners on the effect of their ill informed, they tell their partners the consequences on the relationship and take action to ensure that the partner falls in line. Alpha males don't seek conflicts but are not afraid to tackle conflict head on. They are active and not passive
But Beta males don't have any standard nor boundaries that they hold sacred. They would rather endure and die in silence when their partners err because they are afraid of causing conflict in their relationship. The ones that speak up do so in form of a plea or nag. They are passive men that live with burden in their heart in their bid to maintain peace that they never get.
2. Gentlemen Vs Mr Nice Guys Alpha males are polite, nice to others, respectful but respects themselves and aren't doormat; Alpha male will never allow anyone treat him like second fiddle no matter what. An Alpha male priories his own well-being, irrespective, he genuinely care about the needs of the people in his life and want the best for others. He does this not do this for validation, to gain attention or to be praised by people around him, he simply does it because it is the right thing to do. When an Alpha male doesn't agree with you, he tells you.
Beta males on the other hand may be nice, courteous etc, but they don't prioritise themselves. They are doormat, Yes-man. They are nice because they need the validation and they agree to a fault because they want to maintain the "Mr Nice Guy" tag.
3. Beta Males Are Bitchy, Alpha males Accepts or Change A Situation: Alpha males takes responsibility for their lives. Once anything happens in their lives, an Alpha male seeks to do something about it. If an Alpha male finds his partner with another man, he takes action- whether to breakup with her or any other action. An Alpha male makes decision for himself; whether relationship, career or whatever.
But Beta males always look at someone to pass blame on. They don't take responsibility, they bitch over it. A Beta male will find his partner in an unpleasant situation with another man, he runs to his pastor, family or social media to bitch about it... Seeking their help to take action because "he doesn't want to act irrationally". He's a weak man! Simple!!!
4. Genuine Connection Vs validation An Alpha male always seek genuine connection and friendship with their partners and people around them. They have no time for fake relationship. Alpha males don't seek anybody's validation to feel good. They are true to themselves.
Beta males are pretenders. They desire validation of their partners, friends and society to feel good about themselves. They are fake towards themselves and others around them because they suppress their true feelings for external validation.
5. Alpha males trust themselves to make decisions for their lives, Beta males follow popular opinion.
An alpha male may consult others before making decision, he evaluates the response he gets, and compare with what he had always wanted to do. If he still believe that his desires is the best for him ahead of popular opinion, he follows his mind, makes his decision and swim or sink with it without blaming others.
Beta males consults with people, he may or may not evaluate responses, but he follows popular opinion even if it doesn't tally what he really wants because of his conformist character. He is always ready to blame others should his decision not turn out the way he wishes.
I will stop here!
I remain TonyeBarcanista
Last last..if u get money, ur alpha Male traits go sharp
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This is front page worthy, but you people will never take my matter serious.
Anyways, what trait did you inherit from your parents?
My humble self,
My dad was a serial womanizer no doubt I got it from him. So badddd!!
Secondly he’s very neat and clean, always want everything to be where it should be. If he arranges his books and you litter them, be ready for serious scolding.
Third, he’s a music lover he was always launching latest and baddest sony speakers and amplifiers in the 90s and early 2000. Yours faithfully is a die hard music fan. I always go for the best and baddest speakers just to feel good songs.
Fourth. I get angry easily (I’m working on this)
Fifth, my dad so love dogs. I cried the day I lost my beautiful dog. My dog was very clean and used to sleep on my bed.
Sixth, I too resemble this man o!!! Carbon copy.
The surprising part is I never grew up with him nor lived with him.
So what trait did you get from your parents?
I believe I got the trait of being faithful to a woman from him
Career / Re: I Am Approaching 40 And Am Scared My Dreams Are Not Realistic by persinpapa: 5:58am On Apr 29, 2023 
. 
he was always launching latest and baddest sony speakers and amplifiers in the 90s and early 2000. Yours faithfully is a die hard music fan. I always go for the best and baddest speakers just to feel good songs.