₦airaland Forum

olab059:
Real life watermelon or boobs?

D fruit

Halfricanadiian:
Mayb

Haaalfry!!!

We miss u

Halfricanadiian:
Lol so funny

Is dat u

olab059:
Using your watermelon? I don't understand. I thought watermelon was a fruit that people eat. Do people use water melon for something else I don't know about? Please enlighten me. Thank you.

am goin to av sex wit d watermelon

Is true sha

Op I start wit u from Tuesday after av finish using ma watermelon dis weekend

Next tin u no, olympus av fall

CplusJason:
Another biological mistake.

At list am only consider it, but am sure u av fvck watermelon b4, even cabbage sef, mtcheew

If ur grandma is princess den u r a princesser

Since ma sex life is so borin an I can't afford intimacy gadget

So am thinking, I will go to d market to buy fresh watermelon for N200, den I will cut a small hole on d side an make sweet love to it

D only tin is dat fruit don't last an spoil easy, so is like I need a new watermelon each time I wanna av sex

https://theorganicrabbit.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/IMG_2172watermelon.jpg

like, there'd be a big screen outside every polling unit, counting the votes and showing the public.

as soon as a person goes in to cast a vote, the result appears on the big screen, so there would be no need to start counting votes with everybody disturbing inec officials.

like how those big tvs at soccer stadiums show the live action to people seated far up in the bleachers. same concept, but on a smaller scale.

So the status would be clear for everybody to see. something like:

APC: 1000
PDP: 1000
KOWA: 1000

now if someone enters and casts a vote for KOWA for instance, the updated screen would change to

APC: 1000
PDP: 1000
KOWA: 1001

no cheating, all open, just no privacy, but that is a price that we can pay

so it's okay that once GEJ started ruling, that's when the terrorists started bombing?

All my life, growing up in nigeria, i never once heard of bombs. when we thought of war, we used to picture Iraq, Afghanistan and so forth.

All of a sudden, bombs everywhere and every day. boko haram listed as on of the top terrorist organizations in the world, hosted in my dear country Nigeria.

Abeg free GEJ joor. Why didn't they let him and the rest of us have peace?

Horlufemi:
Southerners threatened fire if Buhari comes south.

only niger delta threatened him.

what about Lagos though I mean Lagos for the most part is a convergence point for all Nigerians and even multinationals.

Most presidents visit Lagos, even when they are in opposition, OBJ, GEJ, don't know about Yaradua.


There really is no excuse for not visiting any part of the south.

freeze001:
Na wa o! Yet he hustled to be at the focal point of money and uses same to treat his terminal sickness? He embraced that money to the point of supposedly borrowing for PC expression of intent form as Presidential candidate now he runs from it? These sycophants are the devil!

lol, i still remember when he said he has to borrow 27 million naira for apc form for pres. candidacy

then they said he will sell off all presidential jets to form Nigerian Airways

then they said he has "at least 1 million naira" in the akant - notice the "at least", lol.

then they said he was drinking N20 sachet milo, instead of gold tea

then they said he rejected the luxury ride that came to pic him up at the airport in London

then they said he has only one house in his hometown

...

after all that, na still billion naira budget feeding, billion naira furniture, million naira kitchen utensils, billion naira aso rock clinic which he doesn't even use.

with the way, PMB was going, i thought there wouldn't even be aso rock feeding budget. That he would be like, "you know what guys, if you are hungry, go and buy food with your salary", or "why do we need new kitchen utensils? what happened to the ones from last year?"...

for wheeeereeee

the day you find a president that says, every body should feed himself, or buy their own furniture, removing all those bogus amounts from the budget, then you guys will know you have found a president with common sense and good will for the people.

Afterall, they always say Nigeria is a poor country right

I've never seen a poor house hold change cutlery and plates every year. Heck, some well off families may even kill you if you break one tumbler/drinking glass.

wash wash wash

Jerryojozy:
Buhari is sick. Simple


Genius J

even when he wasn't sick yet, he made little addresses to the nation. He didn't even visit the Southern part of a whole country.

Hate or Love GEJ, he actually presented himself to the public on numerous occasions.

There were even question and answer sessions on channels tv, where Nigerians could call in to ask questions.

Do you remember the famous "America will know!"

We all laughed at that then, but took for granted the democratic principle that was being set by him, in allowing the populace to reach or be connected to him in some way.

That is what democracy is all about, the people.

Senators and house of rep members also need to appear before their constituencies regularly, so that people can table their grouse with their reps and find solutions to problems affecting the people.


I find it strange that Buhari doesn't have question and answer sessions with Nigerians, or even addresses them, at least to calm nerves.

We only see Friday pictures at the mosque, as if that is why we elected him. You can't keep throwing pictures at those that elected you and the entire country. Address the people.

I didn't see anywhere that they caught the theif

I remember when the story of Fasholas 78 million nairaland website first came out. It was everywhere, hot like fire.

Now it's gone ice cold, with Fasholas only defense being and I quote:

I don't sign cheques

Which Lagosian on nairaland has made use of that 78 million naira website Please, raise your hand!!!!!!

... but I'm sure you guys visit nairaland and Facebook daily, which both cost ZERO naira to make. I lie you say Well ask Seun.

----------

Anyway, fight what you can fight, later others will fight you guys AND we the masses win

MediumStout:
[s][/s]


Trash! Trasher!! Trashest!!!

If you have a point, let it be known.

BTW, Fashola is a 100 square inch peg trying desperately hard to fit into a 20 square inch hole.

Doesn't work.

I don't care what you Nigerians say, talking about how you don't need technocrats as ministers. This isn't America, I hope you guys understand that. This is Nigeria, a developing country.

In America, technocrats have slaved over the years, such that, management of sectors can be achieved with little technical background knowledge.

There, systems work.

You can't extrapolate a working system to encompass that of a developing system, as the latter precedes the former.

What we need now are technocrats everywhere. I would even suggest technocrats with MBAs as ministers, rather than what we currently have.

We need to get our sectors working first. We need Power at 20-30GW in the next 5 years. After that, you can hire a butcher as the power minister for all I care.

Can't we just do things right for once in this country?

We are struggling with an abysmal 3GW of power and you hire a lawyer to remedy that? Sigh!

Meanwhile, humans like us, with one head, mostly 2 arms and 2 feet are out there in other countries doing wonders, while we play politics with our sectors, awarding them as spoils of electoral victory, akin to war.

Google already had self driving cars, Tesla has electric vehicles you simply charge up like your phone.

What are we doing

So they have not even repainted the helli's since?

Still has NEPA

Justuceleague2:
OK


I knew the spinners would spin web of lies and they have

First of all SR happens to be a source I trust however many people on their page wrote almost the same question, how do we know these are boko haram terrorists? The video did not indicate an audible conversation, no charge sheet, I could go on an on but I'm sure these spinners will come here to tell me how I'm defending buhari and his brothers. even so, it's suspected terrorism, it's not like Shekau is the one smiling


On the contrary kunu committed treason, attempted to destabilize the country, asked followers to murder armed forces and steal their weapons, that's not even the issue, the issue is kunu did not conduct himself as a sober suspect, he's changed lawyers 4 times, insulted judges, disrupted court activities twice, even threatened Buhari on live TV behaving like he will be busted out of prison in a few days after his arrest





. This is a case of na you do you


Gaskiya ne

What did your own president commit

Did he not plan a coup What treason can be worse than that

He killed people dude, murdered them.

In Nigeria, hypocrisy doesn't hide at all. It's not nocturnal, it doesn't hide in the shadows, but brazenly struts it's stuff for all to see.

You Nigerians elected a coup plotter and murderer, yet you see nothing wrong with that, sigh

Speechless

BiafranBushBoy:
Use.....

I AM The Owner...

Huh?

sweerychick:
You think this is a joke? Till Efcc Carry you.

Who is joking here

I need my money

KungLaoooo:
https://i.imgur.com/OwWUrAC.gif

Na like so e easy to get independence nah Ogede

Una no dey enter SW with YSG buses every day and still dey talk say dem no want make una get una country

Jokes!

So igbos shouldn't travel within and out of the country?

Just how sedentary is your lifestyle

Is your dream for your future Yoruba Nation to be like North Korea? Where their citizens can't travel out

kropotkin2:
The assertion based on facts. The last 9 out 10 Nigerians who got caught for drug related offences are of south eastern origin. If I'm inaccurate, then the number is more like 8/10

Based on fact, yet, you leave room for inaccuracies

Isn't that quite daft? Just asking.

see me see trouble oo, as I wake up in my vi mansion, check news and dey say dey av cease my money

money dat av been saving since I was a younger boy

I started selling pure water at d age 17, by 19 av already sell close to 1million bag.

every body was laugh at me den, when I say I want to sell pure water, but dey dint see my hustle. How I sell d pure water to everyone, sometime even to goat and cow, if malam pay

now dey wanna cease my sweat, my body own water, my pure water

KFC, abi wetin una call yasef, u better release my money else, I sue u for 100 million dollar damages and 2 bag of pure water

kropotkin2:
No seriously this is getting out of hand. Its become almost a weekly affair that a Nigerian gets caught for a drug related offence overseas, and why is it that 9 out of 10 times its a Nigerian of south eastern origin?

9 out of 10?

Guess nairalands anti igbo push is already yielding it's rotten fruits

Nairaland is so anti igbo, they don't even hide it.

Every day, all tribes get caught for drug related offenses, but one would think it's just igbos going by nairaland.

Just yesterday, a yoruba lady was caught at the airport for cocaine, but that would never make nairaland front page:

http://www.premiumtimesng.com/news/top-news/225872-grandmother-arrested-lagos-airport-alleged-cocaine-smuggling.html

Just like snake threads, the mods usually filter drug news looking for igbo names. If it has an igbo name, then it goes to front page.

Sigh.

Meanwhile, how come you don't see NCAN on ritual threads. Just yesterday, I saw a thread where ritualists murdered a boy and his parents, but no single NCAN on the first page.

Lastly, since igbos are a disgrace to you guys, why not work hard to rid yourselves of them?

Confused lot

If I buy all these things in my car, walahi when they stop me, I will just be insulting them from the start of their search till the end.

Officer: pull over

Me: you are a bastard.

OFficer: let me see your documents

Me: shey na document u go chop, oya take na, bastard

Officer: I don't like the way you're insulting me, come down and open your boot.

Me: see this one oooo

Officer : where is ur fire extinguisher, your spare tyre, ur jack, ur first aid kit...

Me: here, here, here, here, here... Baboon dey work, ordinary monkey one chop

Officer: shey I told u not to insult me, I will show u today, I haven't seen ur fan belt, where is it?

Me: it's right here you bastard

Officer: put on ur full light, brake light, signal light

ME : you think say, pesin dey struggle with una, dey drive pangolo, oya see, all lights working, u bastard

Officer: check his tyre

Me: they are all 2016, but I don't expect a bastard like you to know a good tyre from a bad one.

Offucer: just get out of here, ediot

Me, while driving off: bastard!!

Guess this is sophistication