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Pharoh's Posts

Nairaland Forum › Pharoh's Profile › Pharoh's Posts

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Politics › Re: President Jonathan Scared Of Declaring To Contest? by Pharoh: 5:32pm On Sep 15, 2010
Kobojunkie:
In many other democracies, late candidates are usually ignored and most parties have deadlines that stop people from throwing their name in the hat at the last minute.
So you honestly think we have democracy in Nigeria? grin
Crime › Re: Gunmen Kill Efcc’s Forensic Team Leader In Kaduna by Pharoh: 5:04pm On Sep 15, 2010
In places like nigeria i think they should be careful with thier pictures and names or maybe even use fake names.
Politics › Re: What's The Benefit Of Education To Nigeria by Pharoh: 9:42pm On Sep 14, 2010
Interesting thread.
European Football (EPL, UEFA, La Liga) › Re: UCL: Barcelona Vs Panathinaikos [5 - 1] On Tues, September 14th by Pharoh: 9:28pm On Sep 14, 2010
scantee:
you can even laugh in bundesligaaaaaaaaaaa
I dey support una na. cool
European Football (EPL, UEFA, La Liga) › Re: FC Barcelona Fan Thread: "Més Que Un Club" by Pharoh: 8:37pm On Sep 14, 2010
www.atdhe.net first half now and barca is leading 3-1
European Football (EPL, UEFA, La Liga) › Re: UCL: Barcelona Vs Panathinaikos [5 - 1] On Tues, September 14th by Pharoh: 8:09pm On Sep 14, 2010
Lol i laugh in catalonia grin
European Football (EPL, UEFA, La Liga) › Re: FC Barcelona Fan Thread: "Més Que Un Club" by Pharoh: 8:08pm On Sep 14, 2010
Visca la Panathinaikos grin
Dating And Meet-up Zone › Re: Tatafos (4rm Jokes Section) Meet-up Thread by Pharoh: 8:05pm On Sep 14, 2010
^^

Application period is over  . . so na where you dey do ya own signing in?   grin
Jokes Etc › Re: Random Kicks From Egypt by Pharoh(op): 8:04pm On Sep 14, 2010
I t6ry sha . . na so dem dey pay homage to a royal king like me? angry

Shey your leg dey pain you lol? . . . abi na case of once beaten twice shy. cool
Jokes Etc › Re: Random Kicks From Egypt by Pharoh(op): 6:20pm On Sep 14, 2010
Attention for waiting na . . check my jokes statistics ooo. grin

You never hear of Resident Moderator before kwa? cheesy
Jokes Etc › Re: Random Kicks From Egypt by Pharoh(op): 6:02pm On Sep 14, 2010
Labour Pains

A married couple went to he hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labour pain to the father.

He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favour of it. The doctor set the pain transfer dial to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.

But as the labour progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.

The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%.

The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.

The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain.

She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they got home, the mailman was lying dead on their porch.



Money Talks!


During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer:

"Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out."

He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.

On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said: "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"

The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes," then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: "I thought we had a deal."

The pastor put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered: "She made me a better offer."



Revelation 3:20


A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners.

All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked several times.

Finally, he took out his card and wrote on the back: Revelation 3:20 and stuck it in the door.

The next day, as he was counting the offering he found his card in the collection plate. Below his message was the notation Genesis 3:10.

Revelation 3:20 reads: "Behold I stand at the door and knock. If any man hear my voice, and opens the door, I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he with me."

Genesis 3:10 reads: "And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was unclothed."
Jokes Etc › Re: Random Kicks From Egypt by Pharoh(op): 6:00pm On Sep 14, 2010
Studio CFR:
Stop posting abeg - yo fear don dey catch me already.

Stale jokes
Oya go pack well for corner because more dey come so. grin
Dating And Meet-up Zone › Re: Tatafos (4rm Jokes Section) Meet-up Thread by Pharoh: 5:43pm On Sep 14, 2010
I am ready to be the stubborn fly wey follow dead bodi enter grave oo . grin

It is Chi Heart Foundation or nothing . . i no fit settle for less na. cheesy cool

Chi abeg come give me update to my application status jare. tongue
European Football (EPL, UEFA, La Liga) › Re: Nairaland Fantasy Champions League 2010/2011 by Pharoh: 5:05pm On Sep 14, 2010
MrPrsdent:
anyone wanna create codes for the UEFA Europa Fantasy league too?
You are right because that starts on Thursday as well . . . cool well u can do it or anyone else.

I am in for that as well.
Dating And Meet-up Zone › Re: Tatafos (4rm Jokes Section) Meet-up Thread by Pharoh: 6:40pm On Sep 13, 2010
See enemies of progress oooo . . i don find paid job tire i no see.  cheesy

Common voluntary work wey i apply for charity organization come dey bring this kind victimization.  grin

The united nations must see this discrimination ooo . . abeg leave my application for chi to decide ooo.   angry  grin

I cast and bound every spirit of dustbin . . infact i dey go see my mountain of fire pastor . . . it is my time to be employed.  grin

Sum bodi say amen for me and let the tatafo house shoout haleluyah.  grin
Jokes Etc › Re: Random Kicks From Egypt by Pharoh(op): 12:14pm On Sep 13, 2010
U dey mind the yeye spam bot tongue
European Football (EPL, UEFA, La Liga) › Re: The Galacticos (Real Madrid Fans Only) by Pharoh: 12:14pm On Sep 13, 2010
Very very promising . . he deserves to be in the first team along with kaka, canales and di maria and that big fool ronaldo should always start from the bench. angry
Jokes Etc › Re: ~ Jokers Offtopic Amusement Park by Pharoh: 11:30pm On Sep 12, 2010
Thread Locked

Reason - 100 Pages

Resident Moderator
Jokes Etc › Re: ~ Jokers Offtopic Amusement Park by Pharoh: 11:23pm On Sep 12, 2010
Abeg when this page reach 100 make una no create new one.

Ben please for the mean time put a ban on all off topic thread.  cool


Thread Locked

Reason - 100 Pages

Resident Moderator
Dating And Meet-up Zone › Re: Tatafos (4rm Jokes Section) Meet-up Thread by Pharoh: 11:20pm On Sep 12, 2010
Swit Hat . . . i done go sleep abeg . . .we go yarn later. smiley gud nite. kiss smiley

You fit join me if you want that thing tonight sha . . i still get strength for that one. wink
Jokes Etc › Re: ~ Jokers Offtopic Amusement Park by Pharoh: 11:16pm On Sep 12, 2010
googles:
no. . . i no like to plan this kain thing i just do it  wink
Oya waka come for corner make we leave these people for here. grin

abi you dey also just do it for outside . . as in anywhere the thing meet you? grin
Jokes Etc › Re: ~ Jokers Offtopic Amusement Park by Pharoh: 11:15pm On Sep 12, 2010
Vic2k3:
U mean i hve no idea that your booty is massive. I don't care as u don't care explainig so ciao.
No dey talk go that kind side with her . . . she no be that kind gal ooo.
Dating And Meet-up Zone › Re: Tatafos (4rm Jokes Section) Meet-up Thread by Pharoh: 11:14pm On Sep 12, 2010
^^ Wetin you dey find for my bedroom.   tongue

Na where u want make my bodi dey before?  grin
Jokes Etc › Re: ~ Jokers Offtopic Amusement Park by Pharoh: 11:03pm On Sep 12, 2010
googles:
@fayrouz
oya enter the place. . .make i see if u no go carry belle too  tongue
Shuo abeg you neva hear of family planning before. cheesy
Jokes Etc › Re: Random Kicks From Egypt by Pharoh(op): 10:58pm On Sep 12, 2010
Make i go relax for the night  grin

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and has a drink. Suddenly, a man hollers at him, ''I screwed your mom last night!'' Disturbed, the man tries to ignore him.

Again, he hears, ''Your mom was good in bed last night!'' Again, he tries to ignore it.

The man is just about to speak again but the guy stops him and says, ''Dad, go home, you're drunk!''
Jokes Etc › Re: Random Kicks From Egypt by Pharoh(op): 10:56pm On Sep 12, 2010
  One night, three guys are at a bar talking and they all think their wives are cheating on them.

The first guy says he thinks his wife is screwing a plumber because he found a tool belt under his bed.

They all agree, and the second guy tells his story. He says he thinks his wife is screwing a judge because he found a robe and gavel under his bed.

They all agree, and then the third guy says, "That's nothing! My wife is the worst! I came home and found a cowboy under my bed. I can't believe she's screwing a horse."
Jokes Etc › Re: ~ Jokers Offtopic Amusement Park by Pharoh: 10:54pm On Sep 12, 2010
Vic2k3:
Pharoah watch ya tongue or u might lose it
Help me find mirror na abi na how i go take see road watch my tongue.  grin
Jokes Etc › Re: ~ Jokers Offtopic Amusement Park by Pharoh: 10:48pm On Sep 12, 2010
googles:
***sighs***
Wetin happen na . . . . make we meet for our corner. cool
Jokes Etc › Re: ~ Jokers Offtopic Amusement Park by Pharoh: 10:47pm On Sep 12, 2010
lysaa:
my dear, i nor dey search. if i want a man all i'd do is to whistle n the dawg comes wagging it's tail. Men could be dawgs u know
i guess efe has a clue.
Thank God say i no be men . . after all man different from men abi.  grin

We are talking about lover/husband here and not erm men wey dey useful for the cold nights.  lipsrsealed  cheesy

Men like them v[b]eeks lemon plus[/b]  tongue . . . I no mention name oooo.  cool
Jokes Etc › Re: ~ Jokers Offtopic Amusement Park by Pharoh: 10:25pm On Sep 12, 2010
You better open up the area  grin

I am talking to my sister/cousin u hear  cheesy

We no be ashewo like some peeps . . .  tongue

We are for Christ and that says it all.   cool
Jokes Etc › Re: ~ Jokers Offtopic Amusement Park by Pharoh: 10:18pm On Sep 12, 2010
lysaa:
lol. my eyes dey pain me jor.  cheesy
The cure for that pain na to go grab ya own o o o . . .   grin

I hear say huzzie scarce for amusement park ooo.   tongue

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