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Phate07's Posts

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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 (of 167 pages)

RomanceRe: Am I Ready To Date? by Phate07(m): 9:17pm On Feb 25, 2011
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And am getting no answers! undecided
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RomanceRe: Am I Ready To Date? by Phate07(m): 8:34pm On Feb 25, 2011
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Source? undecided
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RomanceRe: Sex And Women. Indecent Dressing. by Phate07(m): 7:43pm On Feb 25, 2011
kingsline:
its no longer news that most ladies now go about wearing little or no under wear. most of them say they re comfy wearing strings others say they re more comfy wearing nothing
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So? undecided
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RomanceRe: Men Get This In Your Skulls ~~~~~~~ All Women Are not Gold Diggers. by Phate07(m): 7:21pm On Feb 25, 2011
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True! All are golddiggers. angry
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TV/MoviesRe: The Movie Club by Phate07(m): 11:23am On Feb 25, 2011
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Chuck - season 1?
undecided
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Forum GamesRe: What Movie Are You Currently Watching? by Phate07(op): 9:58am On Feb 25, 2011
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Chuck- Season 1
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RomanceRe: She's Hurting Me by Phate07(m): 9:50am On Feb 25, 2011
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Ok. undecided
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Nairaland GeneralRe: Can I Change My Email Address? by Phate07(m): 9:29am On Feb 25, 2011
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Great. cool
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Jokes EtcRe: Jokes Factory by Phate07(op): 7:55am On Feb 25, 2011
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Family Definitions **

Grandfather -- a man whose daughter once married someone who was vastly her inferior mentally but consequently gave birth to unbelievably brilliant grandchildren.

Grandmother -- a baby-sitter who doesn't hang around the refrigerator.

Father -- someone who has redeemed the money in his wallet for snapshots.

Mother -- the person who feeds the mouth that bites her.

Child -- a lump bred up in darkness.

Aunt -- the only person who would have made a better mother than your mother.

Uncle -- a relative who only seems to like you when he needs something done for him.

Son -- the result of getting what you thought you wanted.

Daughter -- a person who dad likes because she reminds him why he married his wife, and who mother is afraid of because she reminds her of why her husband married her.

Cousin -- the relative most likely to be responsible for your trouble.

Mother-in-law -- a ready source of all knowledge, especially advice, history, and judgments.

Father-in-law -- the fellow who is now happy to have paid for the wedding because now his wife has another man to harass.

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Lol grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin ;
Jokes EtcRe: Family Definitions by Phate07(op): 7:07am On Feb 25, 2011
Lol grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Jokes EtcFamily Definitions by Phate07(op): 6:59am On Feb 25, 2011
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Family Definitions **

Grandfather -- a man whose daughter once married someone who was vastly her inferior mentally but consequently gave birth to unbelievably brilliant grandchildren.

Grandmother -- a baby-sitter who doesn't hang around the refrigerator.

Father -- someone who has redeemed the money in his wallet for snapshots.

Mother -- the person who feeds the mouth that bites her.

Child -- a lump bred up in darkness.

Aunt -- the only person who would have made a better mother than your mother.

Uncle -- a relative who only seems to like you when he needs something done for him.

Son -- the result of getting what you thought you wanted.

Daughter -- a person who dad likes because she reminds him why he married his wife, and who mother is afraid of because she reminds her of why her husband married her.

Cousin -- the relative most likely to be responsible for your trouble.

Mother-in-law -- a ready source of all knowledge, especially advice, history, and judgments.

Father-in-law -- the fellow who is now happy to have paid for the wedding because now his wife has another man to harass.
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Dating And Meet-up ZoneRe: Guapo, Come In ~ by Phate07(m): 5:58am On Feb 25, 2011
Omolola1:
grin grin grin

Phate, where have you been?
its been a while
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I been a lil bit busy off Nl. Hows ya end?
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El Guapo:
Phate You're What You want to be grin cheesy cheesy
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Bro, that question is quite important. Cos you need to clarify your intentions for Lola.

And yes, am always who i want to be. cool
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Dating And Meet-up ZoneRe: Guapo, Come In ~ by Phate07(m): 4:43pm On Feb 24, 2011
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Answer it! Cos Omolola is my kid sister! angry
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Jokes EtcRe: Jokes Factory by Phate07(op): 2:44pm On Feb 24, 2011
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Thanks! More to come.
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RomanceRe: What's The Key To Successful Relationships? by Phate07(m): 2:38pm On Feb 24, 2011
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Does relationship have a lock? undecided
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Dating And Meet-up ZoneRe: Guapo, Come In ~ by Phate07(m): 2:36pm On Feb 24, 2011
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Love? Or lust? undecided
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RomanceRe: How Do I Stop Cheating? by Phate07(m): 2:29pm On Feb 24, 2011
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Stop? Really? undecided
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Jokes EtcRe: Jokes Factory by Phate07(op): 2:25pm On Feb 24, 2011
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A city slicker moves to the country and decides he's going to take up farming.

He heads to the local co-op and tells the man, "Give me 100 baby chickens."
The co-op man complies.

A week later the man returns and says, "Give me 200 baby chickens." The co-op man complies.

Again, a week later the man returns. This time he says, "Give me 500 baby chickens."

"Wow!" the co-op man replies. "You must really be doing well!"

"Naw," said the man with a sigh. "I'm either planting them too deep or too far apart!"

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RomanceRe: The Value Of A Woman, By Advocator. by Phate07(m): 2:18pm On Feb 24, 2011
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Hold on!. Gaaadeemit! angry angry
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Jokes EtcRe: Jokes Factory by Phate07(op): 1:46pm On Feb 24, 2011
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During the French revolution, hundreds of people were guillotined. One day, three men were led up to die. One was a lawyer, one was a doctor, and the third was an engineer.

The lawyer was to die first. He was led to the guillotine, the attending priest blessed him, and he knelt with his head on the guillotine. The blade was released, but stopped halfway down its path. The priest, seeing an opportunity, quickly said, "Gentlemen, God has spoken and said this man is to be spared; we cannot kill him." The executioner agreed, and the lawyer was set free.

The doctor was next. He was blessed by the priest, then knelt and placed his head down. The blade was released, and again stopped halfway down. Again the priest intervened: "Gentlemen, God has again spoken; we cannot kill this man." The executioner agreed and the doctor was set free.

At last it was the engineer's turn. He was blessed by the priest, and knelt, but before he placed his head on the guillotine he looked up. Suddenly, he leapt to his feet and cried, "Oh, I see the problem!"
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Jokes EtcRe: Jokes Factory by Phate07(op): 4:38am On Feb 22, 2011
grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Jokes EtcRe: Jokes Factory by Phate07(op): 4:37am On Feb 22, 2011
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A Blonde's New Job ***

A blonde who had been unemployed for several months got a job with Public Works. She was to paint lines down the center of a rural road. The supervisor told her that she was on probation and that she must stay at or above the set average of two miles per day to remain employed. The blonde agreed to the conditions and started right away.

The supervisor checking up at the end of the day, found that the blonde had completed four miles on her first day, double the average! "Great," he told her, "I think you're really going to work out."

The next day, however, he was disappointed to find that the blonde only accomplished two miles. The supervisor thought, "Well she's still at the average and I don't want to discourage her, so I'll just keep quiet."

The third day however the blonde only did one mile and the boss thought, "I need to talk to her before this gets any worse." The boss pulled the new employee in and said, "You were doing so great. The first day you did four miles, the second day two miles, but yesterday you only did one mile. Why? Is there a problem? An injury, equipment failure? What's keeping you from meeting the two-mile minimum?"

The blonde replied "Well, each day I keep getting farther and farther away from the bucket."
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Jokes EtcRe: Jokes Factory by Phate07(op): 4:35am On Feb 22, 2011
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Who's Job is it? ****

This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done, and Everybody was asked to do it.

Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.

Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.
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Jokes EtcRe: Jokes Factory by Phate07(op): 4:34am On Feb 22, 2011
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Bible Salesman ***

A sales company has particular trouble selling bibles. One day, a man comes in with a job application and says "l-l-l-l'd l-l-l-l-l- like t-t-t-t-t-to b-b-b-b- b-be a b-b-b-bible salesman, s-s-s-sir." initially, he doesn't want to give the job to this man, but decided to try him out.

After three weeks, the manager is looking at the charts and realizes that the newest guy is selling the most copies. Amazed, he calls him in to his office.

"You've only worked here for three weeks and you've already sold more copies than anyone else here! How do you do it?"

"W-w-w-w-w-well, l g-g-g-go up t-t-t-t-to th-the d-d-d-door and-d-d l-l--l s-s-s-say, w-w-w-w-would y-y-y-y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-b-buy a c-c-copy o-o-of th-th-th-the b-b-b-bible, or w-w-w- w-w-would y-y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-like m-m-me t-t-t-to r-r-r-r-read it t-t-t-t-t-to y-y-y-you?"
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Jokes EtcRe: Jokes Factory by Phate07(op): 4:07am On Feb 22, 2011
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An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.

"I have good news and bad news," the owner replied.

"The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."

"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"

"The guy was your doctor."
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Nairaland GeneralRe: Can I Change My Email Address? by Phate07(m): 11:29am On Feb 20, 2011
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Yes, you can. Goto your Nl profile settings, click on 'Account Related Settings'( link: www.nairaland.com/nigeria?action=profile;u=366830;sa=account ) and then put the new email.

You will get an email asking you to re-activate your profile. Click on the link and you are good to go. Enjoy. Cheers! wink
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Dating And Meet-up ZoneRe: 190 Legal Summon by Phate07(m): 7:38am On Feb 20, 2011
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Have you paid your school fees for this semester? undecided
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Nairaland GeneralRe: Nl Is Dead! by Phate07(m): 5:56am On Feb 20, 2011
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Ok. undecided
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Dating And Meet-up ZoneRe: 190 Legal Summon by Phate07(m): 5:45am On Feb 20, 2011
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So how much is 190 paying? angry
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Music/RadioRe: What Song U Feelin Rite Now? by Phate07(m): 5:37am On Feb 20, 2011
Undisputed Champion - MI
Dating And Meet-up ZoneRe: Guapo, Come In ~ by Phate07(m): 10:50am On Feb 19, 2011
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Ok undecided
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Music/RadioRe: What Are You Listening To Right Now? by Phate07(m): 10:01am On Feb 19, 2011
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Lost! - Coldplay
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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 (of 167 pages)