dani1luv:

me or gidson

all of u.

dani1luv:

So you dont have up to that amount in your account!!

i only have N5000 in my bank account.

dani1luv:

Seun wants to sell nairaland for just 5,000naira

Thatz a huge amount of money o o o. . .!

rokiatu:

fake new get your butt out of here

no garbage plz 

tak am easy oooo

Thatz because u live in montoya cave.

Ok.

so wat about u?

studio43:

Dickele is insane on dis one hahahahb

sure, em grandma been sell Kunu 

PeeJee:

Am I invited to the wedding?

Go buy invitation card, itz 1500 Naija Naira.

D1KeleVra:

the question is "are u sure u want to go?" i mean, there'd be lots of people wearing pant or leaves, uncomfortable mud huts. . . kunu, zobo and kola nuts. . . and not to forget palmwine for the "VIPs" _pathetic so. . . what's it goin be?

notin lyk Pant. . .na ewe ogede (Banana leave) we go tak do[i] iro ati buba[/i] (wrapper n top)

is that why u're shouting?

Poster, u try.

i smile sha.

Clem is a she?

wu is d queen of NL?

wu be she if i may ask?

Dan (of Otompo Land) who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money and was a real miser when it came to his money.

He loved money more than just about anything.

Just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen. When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.

He made her promise with all her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.

Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her.

When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!' She had a box with her, she came over with the box and put it in the casket.

Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away. So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband!"

She said, "Listen, I'm a Christian. I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was gonna put that money in that casket with him.

"You mean to tell me you really put that money in the casket with him!?

"I sure did," said the wife. "I wrote him a check."

Never Underestimate The Intelligence of a Woman.

3 men were gathering one day to talk about how successful there sons were doing.

The first man says, "My son has been doing so successful as a lawyer he got a mansion and shares it with his friend."

The second mans says, "My son has been so successful as a doctor that he bought a converatable and a private jet for his friend."

The third man says, "Well, my son hasn't been so "successful". In fact, I just learned he was gay and I've accepted that fact. I guess he must be doing good though because he lives in a mansion with his friend and owns a private jet and a convertable."

See wetin deprivation dey cause  . . .i become a stand-up comedian.

. . .dem deprive me of staying in touch wiv my Brides, dey destroyed my wedding plans coz dem no fit talk to woman 

. .I don't wanna see u here     

Letz do it!

---

It got crowded in heaven so, for one day and one day only, it was decided to only accept people who had really bad day on the day they died.

Panthera Leo (of Menjula city    ) was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the day you died." The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an affair, so I came home early to catch her with him. I searched all over the apartment but couldn't find him anywhere. So I went out onto the balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hanging over the edge by his fingertips. I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him. The strain of the act gave me a heart attack, of which I died from."

Panthera couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the man in. He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. "Well, sir, it was awful," said the second man. "I was doing aerobics on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below, but some maniac came out and started pounding on my fingers with a hammer. Luckily I landed in some bushes. But, then the guy dropped a refrigerator on me!"

Panthera chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job. "Tell me about the day you died?” he said to the third man in line. "OK, picture this; I'm unclothed, hiding inside a refrigerator, "

. . .and Zobo & Kunu for non VIP like u.

Just Slap him.

No! only Palm wine would be available for VIPs.

morning ooo

studio43:

Make una nor forget me for una wedding plan o

na u go do MC.

Kunbee:

Abi nao

you go wash plates throughout d day.

D1KeleVra:

u wan make them reserve one crate of beer?

studio43:

Lol,   My level don pass beer na,  I think sey u wan say make dem reserve Henessy or Moet for me sef mmchew

sorry to say, there would be notin lyk shayo

You knw i'll always do.

Slap

Mad bhoi/gurl

Dont u knw dat New year (celebration) has come n gone?

Dumb

u are late.

30%

romsky:

mention it

Me, You, get married this year.

samu to u.