₦airaland Forum

JoeCutie:
You're going back to school with your sister; same school, same level, same everything almost. They give you 10K, give her 25K. 2 weeks later, they call her, "Hey angel, do you still have money?". After one month, they never call you oh, okay you manage call them after two months, "Hello, dad I need some money". He replies, "You have to manage yourself well, things are hard these days". What injustice!

That's the ONE reason - Preferential treatment. You'd begin to wish you were a girl.

Ntor!!!

williamspaul22:
maybe you are nice dp anyways

Thanks.

JoeCutie:
During my teenage years, I used to 'wish' girls could rape me, until one day when I saw a guy they raped... I IMMEDIATELY STOPPED wishing. If guys rape a girl, it causes injuries most times, but if girls rape a guy... D.I.E!

Na then you go know say when it comes to sexual urge, guys no get level, dem no get power, in fact, they are learners. But girls? Chineke mooooo!

Choi! The innocent-looking bad boy!

Where was I then?! I for carry my many many many crazy friends for street come find you then. Na only you for still kneel down beg for mercy.

Careful what you wish for oh.

williamspaul22:
, I agree totally. Hmm. U seem innocent in ur dp

I'm innocent.

JoeCutie:
You wan know?

Uhmmm... Yeah.

JoeCutie:
As in ehn...
I've always said it, sex is 50/50. I don't know why ladies have this very funny mentality. In fact, they should be grateful to us men, because they are the ones enjoying the strokes, while the men suffer.

You'd stroke, stroke, stroke, stroke and stroke. You'd do everything and just when you're about to... You'd just hear, "Harder!". Har gini?

Then after all these things, they still see themselves as doing us a favour. Any girl that'd tell me that rubbish ehn... Issorai.

Lmao! You're a very good bad boy, Joe. What are you stroking? Stroker!

JoeCutie:
Nobody ever taught me how to drive. I sneaked into mumsi's room, grabbed her car keys, rushed to the garage, started the engine and zoomed off. I went to the market, bought things and came back.

When mumsi noticed that her car was missing, she knew it was me. She was worried as I had not driven before. She hurried outside the gate, by then my phone had been long turned off. She waited outside the gate. When she saw me driving back, she didn't know it was me, she thought it was a cab man. I honked and flashed the headlights at her and sped into the compound. At that point, I was already prepared for whatever outcome I might face. Contrary to my fears, my mum just walked up to me at the garage and said, "This boy... I'll never doubt you again. Never!". From then, I turned my mum's unofficial driver.

I've since driven many cars (auto & manual) including bus. Nobody taught me one day how to do all these things. I'm very observant. I observe, I apply what I observe. I just don't get it when people spend weeks, even months learning how to drive in every field they see. Well...

Bad boy!

JoeCutie:
I was hungry, before haven read this, I'm okay now. Hunger don vamush.

See ehn... I'm gentle and very innocent oh. I don't know anything. I'm just a learner. And I'll even stop learning sef, after all I'm not going to use whatever I'd learn.

Talking about the shirt... Na person sef dash me. Person like you. You should be thinking of what to buy for me this Easter.

You're lying jawe. You don't want to dash me. Oya who gave you the shirt... Missterious?

JoeCutie:
The People's General!
Congratulations.


Now, bring us the CHANGE.

Is that why you CHANGEd your profile picture?


You look cute, gentle and innocent. But I know you are not innocent, even though you might be gentle. But you are definitely cute. I like your shirt. Dash me nau?

My favorite moniker is Joecutie. He is very funny and intelligent.

JoeCutie:
Chai, this thing can vex person ehn...

She'd be very bright throughout the day; laughing, smiling, singing, rapping, dancing, twerking, and playing. But if e don dey reach that kain 8pm, sister go begin act movie. She go begin squeeze face. She go begin pick offense and fight over any little thing wey brother do. Small thing like this, she go (form) vex face wall. Chai! Brother go dey fume. Very frustrated. Brother go vex sleep...in pieces instead of sleeping in peace. In the morning when they wake up, na the same sister go still come dey tell you "sorry for the way I acted last night". You dey craze! After sending me to hell. You wan make I whooze you abi?

Later later, brother come notice wetin dey sup. He come laff, come act as nwa guy. When day break like this, sister go begin happy as usual. She go dey happy. Dey sing, dey dance, dey laugh like say tomorrow no dey. As night wan dey reach like this, sister go start again. Puuu! No be for brother. Iffa hear! Brother go dey smile like fool. He no go gree follow her vex. For where?! If you vex na you sabi; your own don done be that. As sister dey form vex, brother go dey form caring. Sister go come dey wonder wetin dey make brother no dey vex, why he dey smile. Bros go busy dey talk sweet sweet things dey give am. When sister go finally see say road no dey where she dey go, she go jejely calm down. Eheen, brother go come nwayooly enter tunnel. Na that time two of them go begin see light at the end of the tunnel. In fact, na sister sef go dey see am pass. She go dey enjoy am. After they don come out from the tunnel, brother and sister go come sleep. And they'd live happily ever after.

Sisters should calm down already. This their bedroom antics is too much. Wetin dey pain me be say na dem go still enjoy am pass. Na dem go still dey call God name in all the languages of the world when the ministration starts. Abegi!

LOOOOOL

You're a comedian with a difference.
Don't let this talent waste away just like that.

JoeCutie:
From that planet just inches above your bathroom, from where I look down and observe things everyday.

So you've been staring at me all this while?

JoeCutie:
Chai! See better insult!
See sweet, fresh and subtle insult. Mogbe!

Wey KingTom?! My brother come and see insult, no be that thing wey your boys (Lagos conductors) dey do for Oshodi. (But those boys get mouth sha oo. No go there ooo)

Chisoosuoo! This insult sef get label, come carry NAFDAC Reg. Number join am.

You know wetin pain me pass? No be only say e knack am this inso... But the way wey e take knack am: with better grammar.

If dem knack you this kain insult ehn, only you self go follow dey search all the pages of the Dictionary to really ascertain the gravity of the food dem put on top your table. Haba!

Bros, diariz Godu ooo.
On the last day, that guy fit be the person wey go man the gate oh. That day ehn, "I no know" no go dey oh. We go all bear witness oh.

LMFAO! My belle oooooooh.

God! Which planet are you from?

JoeCutie:
Wait! How did you know?

You told me. You told us. It's on your diary and many of your posts, and that's very lovely of you. I'd be happy if it were me. Mr. Lover boy.

JoeCutie:
My babe own? Chai! Should I show you her picture? Okay, no. If you see this babe ehn, she get am. She carry front, she carry back. She too package. I can't leave her.

No, my babe own make sense. She get everything. EVERYTHING.

Is she Missterious?

JoeCutie:
Please, there's this very good friend and course mate of mind, her own flat like wall mirror. Could you borrow me small so I could help her? Thanks.

Bad mouthed boy!

How is your girlfriend's own? I'm sure her own is even flatter

JoeCutie:
Nah, he's still a small boy. You wan make I show you my birth certificate, so you'd see what it means for someone to be old?

You? No way. You'll still be around 24, 25 or 26. You're still a small boy.

JoeCutie:
His dad abi his twin brother?

As in ehh! Donjazzy don old oh.

JoeCutie:
This stupid "African Mentality" has killed many of our youths. It is a cankerworm which has eaten deep into our bone marrow.

The integrity and probity of your country - the so called giant of Africa, which as a matter of fact, should set the pace for others to follow - is at stake, in doubt, and in fact, has been thrown to the dust, and this is all you could say? Well, it's unfortunate. We, the youths of this country have bought into the bad ideas, mundane mentality and selfishly bitter politicking of these old fools we call leaders today. We need to liberate our future and fast. Our future is caged by these same people we are running mad for. 

God have mercy.

Very true.
Seriously, our youths need to have a rethink. It's appalling.

khia:
lol I was just playing with you.

I got it. You're very interesting though.

khia:
I'm sure you already know.

No, dearie.

khia:
Show me endless arguments in the sex section, and how would you know unless you were there. Experienced? It only takes one good partner to teach you many things if you are willing to learn and not pretend to be holier than thou.

Well I'll surely learn one day.

JoeCutie:
There was no fruit, neither was there Garden of Eden. What we saw/see in the Bible is symbolism. Jesus Christ used that symbolism to illustrate something.

The fruit generally symbolises sin. Sin in it's entirety.

This sounds very logical and quite convincing.

JoeCutie:
The very first time I went for night class, I saw two people making out at one of the buildings' balcony.

The second day I tried it again, I saw two people again eating hot early morning food - banging - under the stairs.

The third time I... Shut up! There was no such thing as a third time. If na you, you go still go? I don't wanto goan die of konji alone.

You should have gone the 3rd day. You should have taken your babe so that if and when the konji starts creeping in, you'd have your babe to fall back on. What do you think?

khia:
Sunday morning is fine, do they stop being married because it's Sunday?

Nope.

Your interest and unending arguments in this sex section is enormous. Lady experience!

I think early morning hours are the best time to do it, but I don't know about Sunday morning oh.

JoeCutie:
Shebi love making in marriage is allowed? Shikena! But this one strong sha oo.

How composed do you think the lady would be in Church? What would she be thinking as the service/mass is going on? She'd be lost totally. First off, she'd be tired and overtaken, both physically, mentally, emotionally and even spiritually. Her body go dey totori am, in such a way that the Man of God would say "In Jesus Name", and while the others are responding with "Amen!", she'd be shouting "Harder!".

Na that time you go know say that "the world is a small place" no mean say you go fit trek from Lagos to Oreh. That you're free to bang as a married couple doesn't mean you should do it right in front of your kids. God go catch you.

In every rule, there are exceptions.

Who are you? God! You're crazically funny.

It's like you've done it before abi?