₦airaland Forum

EnlightenedSoul:
So this is about about making all the household decisions pertaining to the wife, home, and children?

you are the one reading nuances into what is not there
Like the poster above parismarc said...

Decisions are made jointly with the hubby but where a knotty one comes up and a decision HAS to be made, she defers to the man

a well structured courtship should ensure commonality & compatibility over 90 percent of issues
We are talking of a small bunch here

But note a woman may have the best solution to that issue, the man should trust his partner to make the best decision

EnlightenedSoul:
What are your views, pickabeau? This has really got me curious - seems to be a huge deal.

What is headship?

The man is the head of the family..means that the buck stops at his table, makes consultations and empowers as need be
its only a big deal if u think it is..

Headship of the family... not schools or other organisations

Women have being known to head families where the man abdicates his responsibility

babygirlfl:
I am only replying to make this clear. I never said Lewstherin derailed the thread. I said he replied to people derailing the thread. As for your question, answering it will be derailing this thread. Create a topic for that please.

hi..still waiting for your views..if u dont mind

parismarc:
hmmmm, sometimes i let him have his way and then i hope that all does'nt go well so that i can gloat (lol) but then, fate always seems to favour him and his idea turns out to be better.

He also let's me have my way sometimes so i cant complain, basicallly, im grateful to God that i have a very understanding husband.

At d bolded.. interesting.. thanks for your honest response

alutacontinua:
Barman pickabeau, please do your job!

What does barman mean..

freecocoa:
Lol, I try to be impartial, I blamed the OP only for having unprotected $ex when he wasn't sure she was really barren, his only fault was not being smart. let's be real here, people always claim perfection on the internet, unprotected $ex is not a wise choice but people make it anyways, still it doesn't mean that if a woman gets pregnant from it, then it's entirely the man's fault, especially if the woman asked for it, let's call a spade a spade abeg.

Cool..

opinion on this guys?

This chic said none of that 50/50 crap for her




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XojG3DYB8U

Typical

But i will humour you

https://www.nairaland.com/1985775/views-headship-family

babygirlfl:
I am only replying to make this clear. I never said Lewstherin derailed the thread. I said he replied to people derailing the thread. As for your question, answering it will be derailing this thread. Create a topic for that please.

Babygirlfl

i asked this question on your thread and you recommended opening a thread
After the debate.. i will close the thread

What are your views on headship of a family

Thanks

freecocoa:
If we are to look at it the way a woman would, were she the one who got tricked into getting pregnant, everyone would be calling the man names for lying to her, now she tricked the OP and people are here calling him names and blaming him for what happened, the woman isn't without blame, I just want people to see that.

First time I see a female laying some blame albeit a portion on another female

babygirlfl:
Tell me where in my post I said men are the cause of bad marriages? Please I am not here to win arguments or engage in gender war. I am just encouraging happily men men to speak out more in the family section.
If you read my original post, you will realise the purpose of the thread. The aim of the thread is to encourage happily married men to comment more in the family section. In the original posts, I also made it clear why I am calling out the happily married men only. Every persons input is important in this section but the married men are underrepresented. The post LewsTherin replied to was a derailment of this thread . That was not the aim of the thread and these sort of bias you are trying to create is not nice. Yes both parties are needed to make a successful and happy marriage.

Your premise is faulty ab initio
Are you the judge that will determine an anonymous poster has a happy marriage

Anyone can write anything
After all its anonymous and online


Men comment
But you women use mob mentality to silence them and they have moved on

This thread is an example.

Not shortly after you opened it..some posters have camped here and the same arguments ensued

As I noted...lewstherin did not derail but was clear
The woman has no right to embark on such a crucial decision without involving her hubby.

That was not attractive unlike his first post

No one said anything about it..
No clapping
No seal of endorsement as it were...


When females here don't gang up on people or make fun of them...you will get more participation not only here but everywhere.



Before I go I will ask you one question

What do you think of a man being the head of the family.

Answer plainly please

Moca

So it's me or some guys here who r primitive because we believe family planning decisions should be mutual and don't believe your mumbo jumbo on women doing things without their hubby involvement

Why must u call anyone primitive
You use such derogatory words then you whine that people don't comment again in the family section

Why would they when you and your lot will call them primitive

I guess the female poster above me that said this is also primitive

No need to respond....

damiso:
I think 'Permission' is one word that gets most NL women backs up
I think child spacing/child rearing/family planning should a joint decision Unlike this scenario I know more couples where the husband wants just one or two children and the wives want 3 or more..What happens is compromise and common sense prevailing based on the family's circumstances.
I don't get how a mutual agreement can't be reached based on what is best for the family at the time because a wife who feels she is not emotionally ready for another baby being forced to try is not good for the family so also is a man who feels his wife is on birth control (while she is not) and feeling resentment because another baby they can ill afford is also not good for the family.
Can I also ask does the woman need the husband's consent to go off birth control especially when she knows her hubby definitely wants no more children? I know cases where the woman wants another child and knows hubby wants no more she slyly goes off birth control gets pregnant and then the man is upset.In most cases the man is told to suck it up and just bear it (even on NL ).

Space for sale

Swiftboy:
Who's with me? I dont really want Naruto to end at all!

Why do u think it shouldn't end

First it was men should hands off their wife's body
Then men are dogs
Now men are primitive


Interesting.....


Mygeez..

What is your decision ...do what u have to do to safeguard your family considering your capacity and budget.

If you want another child, discuss with your wife letting her know the reasons and allay her fears.

However you are the man.you head the family


You can't get help here ..

Family section is for modern 'real' men

I think you can request for the thread to be closed or even deleted

You have decided to be responsible for the kid

can you post pics for us to see what sagging in ladies mean

pls post curvy ladies and not broom sticks

faithugo64:
[s]As a lady,i find it disgusting the way most ladies expose their panties and bums in the name of sagging. Most ladies actually think that sagging makes them look attractive to the opposite sex hence my reason for creating this thread.
Sagging here means when a lady wears an undersized pair of trousers or shorts that barely covers her buttocks!!
Guys what do you think of ladies that sag?
Everyone is welcomed to air his/her opinion
ladies who sag are also welcomed,come in and know what the malefolks thinks
derailers and trolls,stay off[/s]

this njuwo guy is really aggressive

GRIMMJOE:
@
Or we could leave this thread to slowly fade away and end just as naruto did.

This.....


Kishi ended the story perfectly
No plot holes
Everything is awesome

I'm observing the dynamics of this thread so far

And it seems the blame for bad relationship has been subtly shifted to the men because the 'good men' have not stepped up to mentor the followers.

Interesting........


For a forum section most posters do not believe in male headship of the home, I wonder why these men are th cause of bad marriages.
What you should advocate is how to make the fuzzy partnership you lot espouse here practicable.


People should be consistent here

When LewsTherin spoke of communication and said all the right things he was feted.

Suddenly in the case of birth control and the fact that the woman may need to accede to the mans wishes If the issue persists.... His advice is not politically correct anymore.....few posts later...


What is the purpose of your thread OP

You just want a roll call of men to satisfy what exactly?

Both parties are needed to make a successful marriage
Making it about one person is myopic

beeevan:
We are talking about you, what do you believe?

I believe it is well..


I don't even know d question

beeevan:
Stop hiding PB, if our bible said that the book of Genesis recorded the beginning of man kind and we believed that, then the reason for patriarchy isn't far fetched.

Some believe in evolution

beeevan:
Society started from Genesis (bible) or are you saying the bible lied ? That there is no Adam and Eve? Nor curse, neither was there a serpent?

Not everyone believes that....


The point is that most societies n households have always been led by men..biblical or not

beeevan:
They claim women are fish brained but to think that these dudes are eating off the hands of a celebrity that will say anything to sell her image is bewildering . A man is the head because that was the curse given to eve for her disobedience(" from this day forward ,the man shall rule over you " ,not that he is equipped with more intellectual capacity than the woman. I won't fight over this head thing but I can't accept a lesser treatment. The man is the head because the bible said so and I can't challenge that, but a woman must be heard, she must be treated with respect , her opinions must count and that is that... .


Most of them doesn't even know how their head ship came about, all they know is chanting head! Head! all the way.

The bible did not make man the Head
Even before Christianity, moat societies havebeen patriarchal

kimco:
Guys I recommend u guys watch monster...dats for those who watche death note and enjoyed it. It rly gud. Ending was a let down tho.

What's the full name of monster

crackhaus:
Good point, I didn't even take note of that.

Don't bother
To these cats every guy practises genïtal mutilation, does not want girls to go to school.

Why bother?

coded01:
You funny oh!

Bros..no vex


Leave Arsene fans
They even say his name rhymes with Arsenal

This is good

so are u a distributor of the product

ok..it just happens that having a civil discussion is far beyond you

Mondisweets:
this goes on to show that you are clueless on what feminism is. feminists promote gender equality ( the right to equal treatment and protection before the law of all persons), which is a human right. so i don't know what you are going on about.

Did u read at all


I said i believe females should have access to educational and empowerment opportunities like anyother person
As a matter of fact, all females i know of went to school and some topped the class as valedictorians

They should have the right to own property
Females i know own property

child marriage is not the best

This is basic human rights...

Mondisweets:
so because u don't believe it, it means that its not happening?

coded01:
It's unfortunate that their passion for a certain range of money is satisfactory to the board compare to making more if The team wins trophies...

Tunnel vision...

Tunnel vision


Pray.. are u female or male?

U sound female....

Mondisweets:
because i believe in social justice can truly be achieved by equal treatment of both genders



i might not have been affected directly but i doubt it means that i should not fight for the rights of those who are subjected to;

-discriminatory cultural and religious practices such as
*child marriages
*beliefs that a woman cannot succeed her father or husband after death
* deprivation of quality education of female child
*sexual, physical and emotional abuse of women

promoting justice and maintain peace and order in society

for now i only do community service, motivational speaking to high school children and small donations because that is all i can afford as a student.

At the bolded.. i dont believe in that and im sure most of the guys here dont subscribe to that.. so why not call it human rights

What is expected fron you is a business plan detailing your medium term goals, cash forecasts

In addition, how knowledgeable are you about the biz.. selection of layers, taking care to ensure they dont fall ill, identifying customers

I will recommend you work with that friend of yours for a period of 6 months at least learning the ropes

Then you can authoritatively speak on what you know


Next your proposal will include a funding arrangement which will protect your core investors who will invest in th biz

Anything is possible if you believe

MsJessica:
First, I tender my sincere apologies to everyone here who find my choice of words offensive. I'm so sorry, I mean not to offend /blackmail anyone, just that right now, I'm a wreck emotionally, because of what I'm passing through.



With that been said, I believe we all have needed help and /or asked for help at one point or another in our various lives. Suffice to say that asking for help is not alien to mankind. But the way some people here are reacting to my asking for help here as if I'm committing a grievous sin. As if reaching out to nairalanders' for help is a huge crime is what baffles me. Some even said i'm fraud/scam, some even went to the extent of telling me to go sleep with the men since I'm in dire need of help.
Helping out one in need no matter how little is a choice. I'm not mandating anyone to help, if you feel you don't feel like it, no problem, but please you don't need to resort to insults to validate your points. Plus, you don't need to discourage others that may want to help with derogatory comments.
My prayer for you is that, may you not come to that point in your life when you so needed help and you have no one to help you, branded scam/fraud or worse, that the people that can't /won't help you did not poison the hearts of those that wished to help you.

Secondly, I asked for the start up capital, because I met someone that's into same business (poultry farming / piggery) who started 18 months ago with a little above that amount and she is doing fine, she was the person Who encouraged me to venture into same. But if you know other viable businesses that's less capital intensive you can help me out, you're still helping too.
When I said, I needed the start up capital, I didn't necessarily infer that a single individual parts with the said amount. No amount is too small, you can decide to help me out #100, #500, #1000 etc. It's those little amounts that will eventually accumulate and help me start the business. Even if you don't have / wish to offer any monetary aid, words of encouragement will do, You're still helping too.

Third, if you think you can't /won't offer monetary help but can help me secure a job, no matter how small, then it will be a dream come true to me. If you went through my first post, you will realize that that's what I have always wanted, but after years of futility rendered to job search, I opted for farming instead of staying idle, stealing or prostituting. All I needed is help.

Finally, if you think you're not satisfied with the email address I provided, you can ask for my phone number, arrange for a face to face meeting, you can even come to see where I stay etc, which I will eagerly oblige to. I only needed someone to talk to and someone to help me out.

Alas! I guess it's /was a mistake coming to Nairaland to seek help. All the same thanks once again to everyone for your responses.
Guess this is the last time I will be posting on the thread.